


Ethics 101

by WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Angst, College AU, F/F, Fluff, Smut, student/professor relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-07-16 10:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 98,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7263460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks/pseuds/WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luisa's second year as a med-student is about to start, and to unwind a little before classes start, she picks up a woman in a bar. Only to find out the next morning that her one night stand is her professor...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, the long awaited professor AU is finally here!
> 
> I'm in the middle of my exams rn, so I don't know when this is going to update, but be patient.
> 
> (Also, I know I have so many unfinished fics and I really shouldn't be stating another multi-chapter one, but here we are! Don't worry, I'll finish the others, promise)
> 
> Enjoy!

Luisa was only on her second drink of the night when some movement by the door of the bar caught her eye, just as it caught the eye of every other woman in the reasonably busy bar.

The woman that had just walked through the door was absolutely gorgeous. She was tall, with legs that seemed to go on forever until they disappeared up a very form-fitting, red dress. The red matched the color of her lips and was a few shades darker than the copper curls tumbling down around her shoulders. She was stunning, but most importantly, Luisa hadn’t seen her here before.

Luisa came to this bar a lot (understatement of the year) and she was running out of women to sleep with as a result. She could find suitable girls in any other bar in the city, gay _or_ straight. There was no shortage of adventurous girls her age, and she would gladly be the other half in their collegiate lesbian fling, but not tonight. Tonight she wanted someone who actually knew what they wanted, and more importantly knew what they were _doing_.

Luisa had thoroughly enjoyed the sex with anyone she slept with, regardless of skill or duration. But tomorrow would be the start of a new semester and she wanted to end her summer vacation with a bang.

So that’s why she was sitting in her favorite lesbian bar, wearing her favorite dress and being mostly sober. And it seemed the perfect candidate for her ‘last-day-of-freedom sex’ had just walked in.

Luisa estimated her to be a little older than her own 23 years, probably closer to thirty than twenty. Her walk was confident and self-assured and she definitely knew what she wanted out of the night. Luisa just hoped their interests aligned.

When she finally dragged her eyes up to the redhead’s face, she noticed her eyes were an electric blue and focusses squarely on her.

She flashed the woman an inviting smile and turned back towards her drink, watching the redhead stride across the floor of the bar out of the corner of her eye.

‘Can I buy you a drink?’ a voice came from her left as the redhead sat down next to her.

‘I’ll have whatever you’re having.’ Luisa grinned, draining the rest of her drink in one single gulp as the woman waved over the bartender.

‘You have great taste in drinks,’ Luisa smiled as the woman ordered two vodka martinis with a lemon twist. She could do without the vermouth but it was a great drink none the less. Something she might have ordered herself when just plain vodka got too boring.

‘Good enough to earn me a name?’ the redhead smiled, lifting the glass to her bright red lips.

Luisa couldn’t look away.

‘Luisa,’ she smiled, taking a sip of her own drink.

‘Luisa,’ the redhead repeated, the corners of her mouth curling up.

‘And what about you?’ Luisa said, toying with the stem of her glass before looking up at the woman. ‘Do you have a name?’

‘I have one,’ the woman smirked. ‘But you haven’t done anything to impress me yet.’

Luisa mirrored the smile. She liked this woman. Not only was she beautiful, she was also funny. But as a consequence, she now had to come up with something impressive enough to get a name out of the beautiful woman and she didn’t think chugging the entire glass in front of her would impress the obviously classy woman next to her. Luisa knew expensive dresses and the red one she was wearing was definitely in that range.

‘Something impressive,’ Luisa muttered, her eyes roaming across the woman’s body as she tried to come up with something, also because she was incredibly beautiful and it was hard not to. As it turned out, her blatant staring at the redhead’s cleavage had another plus side. The dark red of the dress against the woman’s fair skin had reminded Luisa of something.

‘Anna!’ she yelled, making the bartender look her way. ‘One Singapore Sling, please!’

‘You haven’t even finished this one,’ the woman smiled, one eyebrow raised in question.

‘Just wait,’ Luisa grinned as the bartender mixed her drink for her.

She could feel the redhead’s eyes on her as she accepted the drink, taking a sip through the straw before putting the glass down on the counter.

She could feel the redhead’s eyes on her as she picked the cherry from the glass and popped it into her mouth, stem and all.

Luisa chewed the cherry as she folded the stem in three with her tongue, tying it into a knot. She had perfected this party-trick in the 7th grade, but it still worked wonders all these years later.

She met the woman’s eyes as she triumphantly pulled the tied cherry stem from her mouth.

The redhead’s eyes were sparkling and her smile had gotten wider. It seemed Luisa had managed to impress her.

‘It’s Rose,’ she smiled, her knees bumping against Luisa’s as she turned in her seat a bit.

‘Rose,’ Luisa repeated, rolling the ‘R’. The names suited her. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. And if she had finished the two drinks in front of her, she might have just used that cliché to get Rose out of her designer dress even quicker. But she wasn’t drunk enough for that to be cute yet, so she bit her tongue and pushed the nearly untouched drink towards Rose. It was better to _not_ become drunk enough to use that line.

Rose smiled, her whole face lighting up and somehow making her even more beautiful. She toyed with the straw before taking another sip of her vodka martini instead.

‘Not your kind of drink?’ Luisa asked, bumping their knees together again.

Luisa could feel Rose’s breath on her neck as she leaned in to whisper. ‘You already took the best part.’

The hushed quality of her voice made shivers run down Luisa’s spine. She already wanted to get out of here and put her tongue to a better use than just tying cherry stems. But she appreciated the thrill of the chase too much to give in this quickly, especially if Rose was the one leading at this point and she couldn’t have that. She had a reputation to uphold.

‘Mmhh, you might be right,’ Luisa said as she leaned out of her seat to take another sip of the cocktail, her breasts purposefully brushing against Rose’s arm as she did so. ‘It does miss something.’

She briefly considered just dragging Rose in by her neck and kissing her deeply, offering her a taste of cherry that way. She was pretty certain Rose wouldn’t object, and the alcohol already in her system was making her bold, but it was better to leave that move unused for a little longer. She was having fun.

So instead of doing that, she dragged her eyes away from Rose’s very inviting lips and darted them to the side to see where Anna was. The bartender was making a show of tossing cocktail shakers in the air, so she was plenty distracted for Luisa to lean across the bar and steal the glass jar of cherries.

Rose laughed as Luisa presented the jar to her with a wink.

‘I think that would be considered stealing,’ Rose said, taking another sip of her Martini.

‘Not the worst thing I’ve ever done in this bar,’ Luisa said with a confident grin, picking a cherry from the jar, offering it to Rose.

Rose put her drink down and grabbed Luisa’s wrist, closing her lips around the cherry, maintaining full eye-contact as her tongue playfully stroked the tips of Luisa’s fingers.

Luisa dropped her arm back down to the bar slowly, a little dazed as she watched Rose eat the cherry. Biting her lip as a perfectly tied cherry stem joined her own moments later.

 _Oh_ , so that’s why girls liked it when she did that. It was really hot.

Rose picked up the pink drink, taking a sip.

‘Better?’ Luisa asked, resting her head in the palm of her hand as she watched Rose.

‘Much,’ Rose said, her brilliant blue eyes sparkling in the bar’s low lighting. ‘So,’ she started, her hand dropping to Luisa’s knee. ‘If stealing cherries isn’t the worst thing you’ve done; dare I ask what is?’

‘I think some mystery should be left to me, don’t you? And technically, _you_ stole a cherry.’

Rose laughed, a rich, melodious sound and Luisa really wanted to hear it again.

‘Do tell.’

‘Well, you see, I was just borrowing, I could have returned them. You, on the other hand,’ Luisa twirled the cherry stem between her finger, ‘made it irreversible.’

Rose laughingly shook her head. ‘You made me an unwilling accomplice in your crimes.’

‘I wouldn’t say ‘unwilling’ exactly. But it seems I am the only one who can provide your alibi for this very serious crime, so you’re stuck with me.’

‘I see,’ Rose said, her hand running a little higher up Luisa’s leg, stopping just underneath the hem of her dress. ‘Well, there is something else I could do.’

‘And what’s that?’ Luisa asked, sitting forward in her chair, the move pushing Rose’s hand up underneath her dress.

‘Flee the scene, of course,’ Rose said, raking her nails down Luisa’s thigh as she pulled her hand away. Throwing a fifty on the bar, more than enough to cover their drinks and the cherries they stole. ‘Care to run away with me? I wouldn’t want you implicated in my crimes.’

Luisa looked at the three mostly unfinished drinks on the bar, it was against her personal code to leave alcohol unfinished, but not leaving with a hot woman asked her to would be an even bigger assault on her conscious. So she slipped off her barstool, straightening her dress with a smile. ‘It would be my pleasure.’

Rose smiled and gracefully stood up. ‘Follow me.’

‘Gladly,’ Luisa murmured under her breath, watching Rose’s hips sway as she walked towards the exit.

Luisa brushed her hand against Rose’s as they stepped out into the Miami night, not certain if Rose would be one for holding hands. It was very clear to the both of them what was going to happen, had been from the moment their eyes met, but some women didn’t like too many feelings with their one night stands. And holding hands might be a little too much PDA.

‘So, where are we going?’ Luisa asked, smiling inwardly as Rose linked their hands together.

‘I have a room a block down, I thought we could walk,’ Rose said, eyeing Luisa’s heels.

‘I think I can manage,’ Luisa grinned, eyes on Rose’s much higher heels, making the height difference between them really quite pronounced.

Luisa never had been great at silences, she always felt the need to fill them with talking. So she was about to ask Rose what she did for a living in order to afford such expensive dresses, when Rose started rubbing her thumb across Luisa’s knuckles and she lost her train of thought.

She turned her head, the colored neon lights all around them making the angles of Rose’s face more pronounced and Luisa wanted to reach out and trace them.

Impulse control had never been her greatest strength, so instead of waiting for the privacy of a motel room, Luisa stopped walking and pulled Rose closer to her. Reaching up to brush an errant curl away from her face, tracing her cheekbone in the process.

Luisa’s eyes flicked down to Rose’s lips, seeing Rose do the same so cupped the back of Rose’s head and brought her in for a kiss.

Rose tasted of sharp alcohol and cherries and Luisa didn’t want to ever stop kissing her.

Eventually, they had to break apart for air and Luisa noticed she had maneuvered Rose back against a wall, trapping her between the stone and her body.

Rose smiled and moved her hands from Luisa’s waist to her shoulders. ‘Not here.’

Luisa bit her lip and nodded, it would be nicer to do this somewhere more private. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t thoroughly enjoying a slightly flushed Rose pressed back up against a wall.

She took a step back. ‘I guess I can wait a little longer.’

‘You’ve got something…’ Rose said, her voice lower than before as she reached out and brushed a smudge of her own lipstick away from Luisa’s lips.

‘Lead the way,’ Luisa said, losing her resolve to not press Rose back against that wall and kiss her breathless for a second time.

Rose grabbed her hand again, the look in her eyes just as hungry as Luisa felt.

The rest of the walk to the motel passed in a haze, the only thing Luisa was focused on the sweet, floral scent clinging to Rose and how to best get that dress off her as soon the lock clicked behind them.

Luisa couldn’t keep her hands to herself as Rose unlocked the door to her room. Brushing Rose’s hair over one shoulder and kissing the back of her neck softly, her hands pushing up the edge of her dress.

‘Luisa,’ Rose whispered breathlessly.

Luisa waited for something to follow up on her name, but nothing came, so she continued the hot, wet kisses she was leaving on Rose’s neck, kissing up to her ear, nipping at the soft lobe.

‘Unlock the door, I want you out of this dress,’ Luisa husked, running her hand up Rose’s leg.

She heard Rose suck in a shuddering breath before unlocking the door.

Luisa barely gave her enough time to pull the key back out of the lock before pushing her through the door. She immediately maneuvered Rose back against the now closed door, not bothering to turn on the lights.

She had enough light to see Rose’s silent gasp as Luisa slammed her against a vertical surface for the second time that night, her hands on Rose’s waist as she brought their lips together in a kiss.

Much like their earlier kiss outside, it was hungry and filled with need. This time it was Rose who deepened the kiss by running her tongue insistently across Luisa’s lips, parting them.

Cherries had always been a favorite of Luisa’s, but on Rose they tasted nearly as intoxicating as the drinks they’d shared.

Luisa ran her hands up Rose’s back as they kissed, searching for the zipper.

She moaned softly as Rose nipped at her bottom lip, spurring her on even further.

‘This needs to come off,’ she murmured against Rose’s lips, feeling the soft puffs of air from Rose’s rushed breathing against her lips.

Luisa smiled triumphantly as she found the zipper and dragged it down in one fluid movement, the front of the dress falling away from Rose’s shoulders.

Rose dropped her hand away from Luisa’s waist, pushing herself off the door a bit to let gravity take over and have the dress pool at her feet.

Luisa swallowed, as she ran her eyes up Rose’s body, the black lingerie a stark contrast with Rose’s pale skin.

‘You’re beautiful,’ she said in awe, running her hands up Rose’s bare sides, brushing against her lace covered breasts.

Rose arched into her touch a little, her head thudding against the door as she craned her neck. ‘I want to see you.’

Luisa, intuiting that Rose hadn’t meant for her to turn on the lights, reached behind herself to work on getting rid of her own dress.

Rose’s eyes darkened even further as Luisa’s dress hit the floor as well.

‘Fuck.’

Luisa didn’t know why, but Rose cursing turned her on even more. She felt her pulse throb between her legs and surged forwards to capture Rose’s lips in another deep kiss.

Rose clawed at her shoulders, pulling her in closer, their breasts brushing together teasingly.

Wanting more and wanting it fast, Luisa slipped her hands between Rose and the door, unclasping the redhead’s bra before undoing her own.

‘God, you’re gorgeous,’ Luisa husked, starting a trail of kiss down Rose’s jaw, sucking on her pulse point, pressing a kiss to the hollow of her throat, tracing her collarbone with her tongue before ending her exploration by enclosing her mouth around an already rock-hard nipple.

Rose gasped, fisting one hand in Luisa’s hair, pulling her closer. ‘Don’t stop.’

Luisa had no intention of stopping, she had only just started.

Always having been a quick study, especially when the female body was concerned, Luisa soon had Rose panting and moaning her name and she hadn’t even ventured past Rose’s panties yet.

Luisa smirked, continuing to lavish Rose’s breasts with attention as she slipped one hand down Rose’s stomach, enjoying the feeling of quivering muscles underneath her fingertips.

Rose groaned in frustration when Luisa skipped over her underwear and stroked down her inner thigh instead.

With each pass of her fingers she came closer to where Rose wanted her, the heat radiating from Rose’s center.

Rose bucked and rolled her hips into Luisa’s hand, wishing for more contact.

Grinning, Luisa hooked her fingers around Rose’s underwear, dragging it down long, perfect, freckle dusted legs until she herself was on her knees and Rose completely naked in front of her.

Rose automatically spread her legs wider as Luisa ran her hands up Rose’s inner thighs one final time, before spreading her open and licking a broad trail from Rose’s center to her clit.

Rose moaned, long and loud, not thinking of the thin walls separating them from the outside world any longer.

‘God, Luisa,’ Rose moaned, tangling her hand in Luisa’s dark hair, keeping her anchored in place.

Luisa didn’t care, her only goal to make Rose come, and judging by the insistent roll of Rose’s hips, her pants and moans and her already tensing muscles. It wouldn’t take much to send her over the edge.

Luisa hooked one of Rose’s legs over her shoulder, opening her up further, fucking her with her tongue, her left hand rubbing tight spirals around Rose’s clit, making her buck her hips.

Rose let out a string of curses, interspersed with her name as she came.

Luisa continued lapping at Rose’s folds until every last drop of arousal was gone and Rose let out a weak protest.

‘You really do have an exceptionally skilled tongue,’ Rose said, her voice still having that breathless quality to it Luisa so adored. ‘That was almost embarrassingly fast.’

‘There’s no such thing,’ Luisa smiled, standing back up, pressing her body fully against Rose’s. Nipping at her bottom lip before kissing her soundly. ‘Now I can just make you come again.’

Rose laughed, and the sound shot straight between Luisa’s legs.

‘You can, but first let me take care of you,’ Rose grinned, putting her hands on Luisa’s hips and pushing her backwards to the bed.

Luisa smiled, Rose had been having that conversation with her breasts instead of her face.

‘You can touch, you know?’ Luisa husked, catching Rose’s hands and moving them her breasts, arching into Rose’s initial hesitant touch.

Rose grinned, kissing Luisa, licking into her mouth as her hands squeezed and stroked.

Luisa gasped as her knees hit the side of the bed and Rose pushed her flat onto her back.

Luisa squeezed her eyes shut as Rose unexpectedly flicked on the lamp on the bedside table.

‘Sorry, but I want to see you, all of you,’ Rose smiled, bright eyes sparkling in the newly created light.

‘I better get rid of these then,’ Luisa suggested, lifting her hips and kicking off her underwear.

Rose bit her lip and watched in silence for a moment before moving down on top of Luisa, her hands automatically finding Luisa’s breasts again, rolling her nipples tightly between her fingers.

Luisa moaned, her left hand roaming up and down the soft skin of Rose’s back. Her right one twisted in the sheets, gripping tighter with every pass of Rose’s tongue.

Rose’s mouth on her breasts felt absolutely wonderful but she needed a bit more, and as Rose seemed perfectly happy to just stay right where she was, a little encouragement was needed.

‘Rose, I need you, inside me. Now,’ Luisa managed to get out as Rose scraped her teeth over a very sensitive nipple.

Rose hummed happily as she started a trail of kisses down Luisa’s stomach, much to Luisa’s satisfaction.

No longer hindered by the initial awkwardness of a first encounter, Luisa found out just how skilled Rose’s tongue was.

‘God,’ Luisa hissed through her teeth as Rose’s tongue traced intricate patterns over her clit, making her writhe underneath her.

Rose hummed what Luisa assumed was a witty reply against her sex, making her arch of the bed a little.

Luisa didn’t know how, but Rose’s tongue seemed to be everywhere, inside her, tracing her clit, stroking her, every action pushing her higher and higher. Her nerves were on edge, her muscles coiled, and she was radiating warmth. The only sounds she made where moans and gasps.

‘Rose,’ Luisa panted, finding the last of her strength to lift her head up and look into Rose’s eyes, struck once again by how blue they were. ‘Fingers, _please_ ,’ she whimpered, more than ready to fall over the edge.

Luisa threw her head back on the pillow as Rose thrust into her with two fingers while sucking on her clit. The combination more than enough to send her into a screaming orgasm.

The first thing she saw when the blinding white light behind her eyelids died down was Rose wiping her mouth, smug grin firmly in place. The one that accompanied a job well done.

‘You’re almost too good at that, you know?’ Luisa sighed, waiting for Rose to finish the trek up her body so she could kiss her.

‘It has been said,’ Rose grinned, tracing Luisa’s lips with sticky fingers.

Luisa didn’t hesitate before opening her mouth and sucking and licking Rose’s fingers clean, coaxing a moan from the tall redhead pressed on top of her.

She released the digits with a wet pop, finally pulling Rose in for a kiss, her hands roaming Rose’s back for a moment before settling on her ass. Squeezing and massaging the firm flesh before flipping them over.

Rose gasped and smiled.

‘Recovered enough?’ Luisa smiled, nipping at Rose’s collarbone, her hands already parting Rose’s legs for a second time that night.

‘More than.’

* * *

Luisa was still smiling as she gently moved her arm out from underneath Rose, their skin sticking together from the sweat and arousal of sex.

She hadn’t felt this thoroughly relaxed in a while, and the timing was great, because her second year as a med-student was going to start in, five hours according to the alarm clock. She should really return to her dorm and get some sleep before her first class.

Rose moaned sleepily as Luisa pressed their lips together in a soft kiss.

‘What time is it?’ Rose murmured, stroking a tangle of red hair away from her face.

‘Nearly four,’ Luisa said, stretching her arms out above her head. ‘I should get going.’

Rose nodded, watching as Luisa put her clothes back on.

‘This was fun,’ Rose said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed as Luisa checked her phone.

‘It really was,’ Luisa almost added an ‘we should do this again sometime’ at the end of that statement, but she felt like Rose wouldn’t really be up for that, no matter how great the sex had been. And she’d rather not make a very great night awkward now.

Rose, still completely naked, pressed herself fully against Luisa for one last, lingering kiss.

‘You taste better than cherries,’ Rose smiled as she pulled away.

‘So do you,’ Luisa said, running her eyes up Rose’s body one last time, searing it into her memory.

‘Bye.’

Rose smiled at her, turning around and walking into the bathroom.

Luisa heard the shower turn on as she closed the door behind her, fully expecting never to see Rose again.

* * *

After a short but deep three hours of sleep, Luisa checked her schedule as she walked across campus. She had a nine AM ethics class, which sounded both unnecessary as a second year med-student and incredibly boring on top of that. But it was a required subject so Luisa dragged herself to class and set herself down somewhere in the back, planning to catch up on some sleep while the professor droned on about whatever was on the syllabus.

She checked her schedule again, professor Ruvelle would be giving this class. She had never heard of them before, but given the topic, she expected someone old and dreadfully boring.

The rest of her course mates filed in steadily, but two minutes before class was supposed to start, the professor still hadn’t arrived yet. Great way to start a new semester, Luisa thought.

‘I’m sorry I’m late.’

Luisa’s eyes went wide, slowly looking up from her laptop screen. She knew that voice…

She looked up and caught a flash of red and felt her heart speed up and her mouth fall open.

The hair and the voice were recognizable enough, but the brilliant blue eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses took away every doubt. She had left those eyes and the woman they belonged to behind in a motel room five hours earlier, fully expecting to never see her again. And here she was.

‘Good morning class, I’m professor Ruvelle and these first few weeks we’ll be discussing…’

Luisa didn’t get the rest of her introduction, the only thought going through her head being that she’d just slept with her ethics professor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your response to this fic has been overwhelming! So thankful for all your comments and asks! Seriously, you are all great and it was really motivating!
> 
> This chapter has seen three rewrites, which is why it took so long to get up, but I am finally happy with it, so I hope you like it too and that it lives up to the expectations.
> 
> Let the reunion drama begin!
> 
> EDIT: I realized some of the writing in this chapter was bi/panphobic, so changes have been made to remedy that. I am so sorry if my writing hurt or offended anyone, that was not my intention. My sincere apologies and I will be extra careful in the future.

Not five hours ago, Luisa had left that motel room thinking she was never going to see Rose again and yet here she was, here _they_ were. Face to face again. Well, not face to face, Rose was still going through the syllabus and hadn’t spotted her yet. But Luisa knew it would only be a matter of time before she did.

Luisa shut her eyes and closed her mouth, which had been hanging open as her mind tried to comprehend the incredible coincidence of Rose turning out to be her professor. Her _ethics_ professor none the less. Luisa wasn’t paying a lot of attention to what Rose was saying on the subject of ethics, but she did know that sleeping with your professor wasn’t considered a prime example of good ethical behavior.

She tried repeatedly to tune back in to the lecture Rose was giving, but she kept getting distracted by how Rose’s black slacks (definitely tailored) clung to her ass and how her blue blouse was gaping slightly between the top two buttons.

Luisa was pretty certain that if she had never met Rose before she walked into this class today, things wouldn’t have been much different. She still would have stared at Rose like she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Which she was, and many of her classmates seemed to think so too, judging by the way they were hanging out of their seats.

The difference between Luisa and her classmates was that Luisa _knew_ how soft the hair was that Rose had pulled back in a ponytail. How blue her eyes really were, how soft her lips and how there was a small swatch of freckles dusting her nose and cheeks that could only be seen from close by.

Luisa knew all of that and more, and suddenly a smile broke across her face; maybe this strange coincidence could be used to find out even more about Rose.

After leaving the motel this morning, she had regretted not at least asking Rose for her number. There was always the risk of Rose turning her down, which would have been awkward, but she would have at least had a shot at getting the gorgeous woman back in bed with her again. And maybe now, the universe was trying to right that wrong.

There was, of course, the whole student/professor thing to consider, but to be honest it didn’t bother Luisa all that much. It was actually kind of hot. And Rose somehow looked even better with her glasses. Yeah, Luisa could definitely deal with the whole professor aesthetic.

She sat up a little straighter, trying to focus.

Rose definitely didn’t _drone_ ; she was smiling as she talked about the importance of the subject. Her eyes sparkling passionately behind her glasses. Luisa didn’t know how anyone could be passionate about the subject of ethics, but it looked good on Rose.

‘So that is why it is very important for both future doctors and lawyers, like yourselves, to study ethics,’ Rose said, her eyes sweeping across the group in front of her.

The exact moment Rose spotted Luisa was hard to miss. Her blue eyes went wide as she kept them trained on Luisa, her mouth fell open and her hands froze in front of her mid gesture, almost dropping the marker she’d been holding.

Luisa didn’t need to be able to read Rose’s mind to know that “oh fuck” was the thought at the forefront of Rose’s brain at the moment.

The surprise and mild shock at seeing Luisa were evident across Rose’s features, but it lasted only a second. Luisa doubted it would have seemed like more than a short pause to find words to anyone else. But she had seen the looks of recognition, surprise and disbelief flit across Rose’s face.

Rose started speaking again like nothing had happened; no one the wiser of what had just transpired between the two of them. But Luisa couldn’t help but smile as Rose returned to her lecture.

Rose kept glancing in her direction throughout the lecture, her blue eyes obviously still questioning what they were seeing.

Luisa just smiled at her, throwing in a couple of winks that made Rose smile before she schooled her expression into something more appropriate for a nine AM class on ethics.

As time passed, Luisa kept cycling through the memories of the previous night in her head. Which did nothing for her concentration but was still a very pleasurable experience.

Luisa was so lost in her thoughts that the only thing that alerted her that the class had ended was the shuffling of laptops and notebooks being put away.

She took her time putting her stuff away, making sure everyone had left the class before making her way to the front.

‘ _Professor,_ ’ Luisa grinned, making Rose turn around at the sound of her voice.

‘Luisa, _what are you doing here?_ ’ Rose asked, her voice hushed and her smile a little tight lipped, like she was not sure to be happy about this development or not.

‘Following your class, of course,’ Luisa said cheerily.

‘You’re a student here?’ Rose asked, putting her hand on Luisa’s arm and pulling her to the side, away from prying eyes.

‘Yes, and you’re a professor here, what are the odds?’ Luisa smiled as she caught the delicate scent of Rose’s perfume, the one that had been clinging to her own skin until she got into the shower that morning.

‘What are the odds indeed,’ Rose sighed, her thumb stroking circles on Luisa’s forearm until she noticed what she was doing and pulled her hand away.

‘Luisa, I, this…’ Rose’s eyes flitted up and down between Luisa’s eyes and her mouth.

Luisa smiled as she reached up to push Rose’s glasses back up her nose, her fingers tracing Rose’s cheekbone before dropping her hand back down her side.

Rose bit her lip and Luisa stepped forward, further invading her personal space.

‘We can’t do this, not here,’ Rose said softly as she looked up, her eyes a little darker than before. It looked like she was about to say more but they were interrupted by some students entering the classroom for the next period.

Rose jumped backwards like she had been burned, breaking all physical contact between her and Luisa, walking towards her desk.

‘My office hours today are from 2 to 4, please stop by so we can _talk_ ,’ Rose said loudly as she bent over her desk, giving Luisa a _great_ view of her ass in those slacks.

‘Here, please stop by near the end so we can discuss our,’ she took a moment to think of the right word, ‘ _situation_ in private.’

Luisa nodded, slipping the paper containing Rose’s contact information into her pocket.

‘And Luisa, please don’t tell anyone.’

‘Of course not, _professor_ ,’ Luisa grinned as she walked out of the classroom, hips swaying.

* * *

 Luisa checked her phone for the time; this class was taking _forever_. And this time she didn’t even have a very hot professor to ogle to help her pass the time.

Professor Stromwell was old and boring and a refresher course anatomy seemed a waste of Luisa’s time. So instead of listening to the professor go on and on about the different bones of the foot, Luisa opened up Facebook, determined to do some research on professor Rose Ruvelle.

But as it turned out, it was impossible to do any research on Rose; the woman didn’t even have a LinkedIn account, let alone a Facebook. The only digital footprint Rose had left behind were a pixelated picture on the university’s faculty page and a dissertation written by Rose titled “ _Ethics in Criminal Law: The Shift from Religious Morals to Modern Ethics”._ And Luisa’s doubted she could learn any personal information from that veritable tome.

Well, she guessed she could always ask Rose in person at their _private_ meeting later. Rose was definitely still interested in her, and it was now up to Luisa to keep her interests up. In the meantime, it couldn’t hurt to dream the rest of the anatomy course away.

* * *

Luisa hummed happily to herself as she crossed the campus to get to her dorm room. Her father had questioned her sanity (when did he not?) when she said she would rather stay in a dorm than at the hotel. Luisa had just wanted to be free from her father’s disapproving gaze so she had fought tooth and nail for her rooming. Plus, living on campus also meant she could stay in bed longer and that was honestly that had decided it for her.

She checked the time as she unlocked her door, it was 3:30 PM already, but Rose had said she should come towards the end so they wouldn’t be interrupted. She did still have to cross campus again to get to Rose’s office, but if she changed quickly she would probably get there around 4, which would be perfect.

She changed out of her modest summer dress, opting for something a little more form-fitting and revealing. She decided on a pair of threadbare jeans shorts and a white tank top. She fluffed her hair before dashing out of her room, not wanting Rose to think she stood her up.  

* * *

 

Luisa pulled down her top a little before knocking on the door of room 3.17: Rose’s office. It was exactly 4 PM, which was a little on the late side, but she doubted Rose would mind.

‘I was wondering if you were going to come,’ Rose said as she opened the door, her eyes immediately drifting down lower than Luisa’s face.

‘You, uhm, changed clothes?’ Rose asked, swallowing hard as she dragged her eyes back up to Luisa’s face.

Luisa smiled, glad Rose had noticed the change in her wardrobe. ‘I had some time to kill after my last class,’ she said with a shrug, trying and failing to keep the smirk off her face. ‘Can I come in?’

‘Yes, of course,’ Rose said, holding the door open, closing it as soon as Luisa stepped through it.

‘So you’re a professor?’ Luisa asked, leaning against the edge of Rose’s desk.

‘Please sit, Luisa,’ Rose said, offering Luisa one of the chairs in front of her desk.

Luisa had expected Rose to sit down next in the empty chair to her, but instead she sat down across the desk from her. Luisa raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

‘I didn’t have you pegged as a professor,’ Luisa mused, crossing her legs so her shorts rode up even higher on her thighs.

‘Why not?’ Rose asked, a smile lighting up her face.

‘Well, your age for one, your clothes for another.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘How old are you? 29?’

’28,’ Rose corrected.

’28,’ Luisa repeated with a smile. It seemed it wasn’t impossible to get personal information out of the mysterious redhead after all. ’28 seems a little young for a college professor. And about your clothes, your dress last night was way too expensive to be afforded on a college professor’s paycheck. As are the clothes you are wearing today.’

‘I used to be a lawyer,’ Rose said, a smile raising the corners of her lips.

‘Now _that_ I might have guessed.’ She explained further as Rose raised an eyebrow in question. ‘There was a level of professional jargon surrounding me stealing the cherries. And you couldn’t be a cop because of the dress, so a lawyer was the best bet.’

‘You seem to have me all figured out,’ Rose laughed.

‘What I do not understand, though, is how you _used_ to be a lawyer. You’re 28, how can you have had multiple careers already? Also why give up law to teach _ethics_ of all subjects?’

Rose’s smile faded a little. ‘I didn’t ask you in here to discuss my personal life, Luisa,’ Rose said gently. ‘We need to discuss what happened last night and how to handle it.’

‘Handle what?’

‘I am your professor, Luisa. If word got out, we could get in trouble. Last night was,’ Rose paused for a moment, ‘last night was a mistake.’

Luisa frowned, she didn’t like where this was going. ‘Because of the whole student/professor thing? We didn’t know and you technically weren’t my professor back then,’ Luisa said.

‘I know, but do you realize what kind of problems this could cause if it ever got out? For the both of us?’ Rose seemed more agitated now, no longer smiling.

‘We did nothing wrong, Rose. It was just sex between two consenting adults.’

‘I am your _professor_. I could get fired if word ever got out that I slept with one of my students, you could get suspended or even kicked out. They might think I have been giving you preferential treatment. No one can ever know, it would destroy my career, my life,’ Rose said, holding Luisa’s gaze to convey how serious this was.

‘I don’t kiss and tell. You’re assuming the worst and I doubt anyone would care. But if it is so important to you, I will be extra careful not to tell anyone.’

‘Thank you,’ Rose said, appearing to be breathing a little easier now. ‘And,’ Rose swallowed, her eyes dipping down to Luisa’s breast for a moment, ‘it can never happen again, Luisa,’ Rose said, dragging her eyes back up to Luisa’s face, her blue eyes serious and filled with steely determination.

‘You have to admit there is some terrible irony in you being an ethics professor sleeping with a student.’ Luisa leaned back in her chair, grinning widely, ignoring what Rose had said for now in favor of flirting with her some more.

Rose smiled and Luisa like there might still be some hope for them after all. Rose just didn’t know it yet.

‘Is that all you wanted to talk about?’ Luisa asked, leaning forward a bit.

‘No, actually. I checked your class schedule…’

Luisa smirked, it seemed Rose had been doing her own research on her.

‘… to see if it was possible to transfer you to another professor’s class,’ Rose continued, ignoring Luisa faltering expression.

‘Trying to get rid of me?’ Luisa was getting some _very_ mixes signals from the woman across from her.

‘No, just trying to minimize the damage. If you’re not my student I can’t give you preferential treatment.’

‘Won’t it seem suspicious if you transfer me out of your class? People might actually think you did it so you could sleep with me,’ Luisa said, folding her arms across her chest.

‘We are not sleeping together,’ Rose said pointedly.

 _“Maybe not right now,”_ Luisa thought, because with the way Rose was looking at her, it would not take much convincing on her part.

‘And anyway, I can’t transfer you out. The other ethics class interferes with your schedule.’

‘So it seems we are stuck together,’ Luisa grinned.

Rose groaned, opening her mouth to say something when the door to her office swung open.

‘Hey babe, miss me?’ a voice said.

Luisa turned around at the sound of the voice, she estimated the man to be around thirty and he was a prime example of tall, dark and classically handsome.

‘Oh sorry, I didn’t know you were still with a student,’ he said as he spotted Luisa.

‘Daniel, what are you doing here?’ Rose asked, surprise evident on her face. Then her eyes flitted towards Luisa and her expression darkened even further.

‘I got back a little earlier and wanted to surprise my amazing girlfriend, of course. I thought your office hours had ended already, I’m sorry,’ he said, smiling apologetically.

Luisa didn’t notice that the apology was aimed at her, she was too busy trying to make sense of what he had just said. He had called Rose his _girlfriend_. And that didn’t make any sense.

‘Well, I’m surprised,’ Rose said, her voice a little higher than usual and she was smiling tensely as she got up. ‘But I am also with a student, so later, okay?’ she said, putting her hand on, apparently, her boyfriend’ _s_ arm, guiding him out of the office.

‘Sorry for interrupting,’ he said to Luisa.

Luisa flashed him a smile, not really feeling the emotion she was supposed to convey. And she had to suppress a groan when Rose leaned in to quickly peck him on the lips. Rose's posture was stiff and the kiss was over as soon as it began. Luisa read her body language to mean that Rose was highly uncomfortable with the situation. Of course, that could easily be explained by the fact that her boyfriend and the woman she had just cheated on him with were in the same room. Luisa understood why that might make her a little uncomfortable.

‘I’ll see you tonight,’ he said to Rose before disappearing from her office.

Rose wouldn’t meet her eyes as she sat down. ‘Well, that was entirely inappropriate.’

‘Yeah, you could say that,’ Luisa said, staring at Rose with wide eyes. ‘You have a _boyfriend_?’

‘Yes, I-.’

Luisa interrupted her. ‘What about last night?’

‘Last night was a mistake, one made in a moment of weakness. I am sorry. I was going to tell you about him. _Daniel_ ,’ she said his name with emphasis, ‘can never know. Things are getting serious between us; it would destroy him.’

Luisa scoffed. ‘If things are getting serious between you two, please explain why you walked into a bar last night and took me to your motel room to have amazing, mind-blowing sex with you?’

Rose bit her lip. ‘I was lonely, Daniel wasn’t there. And I think I just needed to be with a woman one last time, you know?’

Luisa nodded, not able to keep the sarcasm from her voice as she spoke. ‘Yeah, sure, I get that.’

Rose for her part took everything in stride, not moving a muscle; her emotions all carefully hidden.

‘I really do love him.’ Rose nearly sighed as she said it.

‘Yet I sure as hell didn’t have any trouble getting you into bed last night.’

Rose looked up, her face still unreadable, so Luisa continued; she never did know when to stop.

‘Usually when people cheat on their SO’s, there is something wrong in their relationship. And they usually aren't as in love as they say they are.’

This _did_ get a reaction from Rose. ‘That is really none of your business,’ Rose said calmly, but the muscles in her jaw where tense and Luisa knew she had touched upon a sore subject.

‘You made it my business when you cheated on him _with me_ , and now you are asking me to lie for you. So it is most definitely my business.’

Rose took a deep breath before looking up. ‘Let’s just forget this ever happened,’ Rose sighed, meeting Luisa’s eyes.

‘I don’t think I can forget, you _definitely_ knew what you were doing last night, and then again this morning.’ Luisa knew it was petty, but she couldn’t help it.

She stood up, the chair moving backwards from the force.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, following Luisa to the door, catching her by the wrist. ‘It was a mistake; one I am not going to make again.’

Luisa didn’t pull herself free from Rose’s grip, instead she stepped closer, bringing her face close to Rose’s.

‘It didn’t feel like a mistake.’

Rose’s expression was steely, her breath hot on Luisa’s lips as she spoke. ‘I will see you in class, _miss Alver_.’ The words were a whisper and if Rose was trying to convey a message of professional distance, she was failing miserably as her eyes were firmly focused on Luisa’s lips.

Luisa smirked and pulled away. ‘I should probably go now, wouldn’t want to make you late for your date with your boyfriend, _professor_ ,’ the last word was more of a purr than anything else.

Rose didn’t respond to the taunt, she just slowly let go of Luisa’s wrist, her fingers caressing her skin briefly before falling away completely.

They didn’t say anything else as Luisa walked out of Rose’s office. Luisa put an extra sway in her hips, knowing Rose was watching her.

She briefly wondered if it would have ended like this if the boyfriend hadn’t walked in. She wondered if Rose would have even told her about him, because before he interrupted them Rose looked quite ready for a repeat performance of last night, the student/professor thing be damned.

Luisa made her way back across campus, towards her dorm, replaying the conversation she had with Rose over and over in her head. There had been some very mixed signals but Luisa was convinced that Rose was still interested in her, like she was still interested in the redhead.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Rose for the rest of the night, which was ridiculous and a bit pathetic as she was surrounded by a ton of beautiful girls in crop tops at the start-of-term party she was attending.

She downed another shot and got up, making her way towards the dance floor. But even with the alcohol clouding her brain and all the beautiful girls pressing against her, they all paled in comparison to Rose.

It wasn’t just that Rose was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen (she was, no doubt about it), there was something in the way Rose spoke to her, how they had just clicked. And she knew Rose felt it too.

Rose had asked her to forget about what happened between them, but Luisa couldn’t do that. She wanted Rose. Even know, past tipsy and well on her way to drunk, surrounded by beautiful girls, she could still only think of Rose.

‘I’m going to sleep with my professor!’ Luisa yelled.

‘WOO!’ a chorus of voices sounded around her, raising their glasses in a drunken toast.

Luisa grinned and downed another shot. Rose might not know it yet, but she was going to give in. Because last night had not been a mistake and it was _most_ definitely going to happen again. Probably soon too.

* * *

Luisa woke up the next morning with one hell of a hangover. She didn’t remember much of what happened last night after her seventh consecutive shot of vodka; she just remembered thinking about Rose a lot and that she was going to convince her ethics professor to throw morals out of the window and sleep with her again. It was going to involve some short skirts and possibly props, but she could deal with that. The reward would be more than worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was okay! No sex this chapter, so for that I am sorry. I will try to update more regularly (I always try) and now this hellish chapter is out of the way I think writing might go a bit easier.
> 
> Anyway, if you liked consider leaving a comment, I love hearing from all of you!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on an updating spree, not sure how long it will last, but I say enjoy it!
> 
> I tried something different this chapter, namely switching POV's, so feedback on that is extremely welcome. I thought it might be nice to see things from Rose's perspective a little, but if you all think I'm better off sticking to Luisa, that's fine too.
> 
> Enjoy!

Luisa hadn’t seen Rose on Tuesday; she had debated walking the twenty minutes out of her way to the law faculty building that housed Rose’s office. Hoping to “spontaneously” run into her, but two things had prevented her from doing that.

1\. It was 20 minutes out of her way and she was still trying to shake last night’s hangover; the coffee was not helping.

And 2. Luisa had to admit that it was a little desperate and definitely creepy. She had no intention of stalking Rose. That was something straight white guys did. And she _never_ wanted to be compared to a straight white guy.

So she had used the time she was not in class (and even some of the time she was, honestly, all the refresher courses were just a waste of time) to develop a plan of attack to get Rose to dump the boyfriend and get back in bed with her. She knew Rose wanted to, could see it in the way her eyes continuously shot down to her lips when they were talking (or even lower to her breasts in the low-cut top), in the way Rose’s touch lingered. All subtle, subconscious signs of attraction.

So now it was finally time for the second 9 AM ethics class of the week, and for the first time ever Luisa had no trouble getting up early to get ready; seeing Rose again was a very good incentive.

Luisa ignored the whistles and catcalls as she walked across campus. The dress she wore was on the short side and clung to her chest, so she had expected the hormonal assholes who attended the college with her to react to it; she just wasn’t interested in them. There was only one person she wanted a reaction from, and that person was about to teach a 9 AM introduction to the wonderful subject of ethics.

She pushed her sunglasses into her hair when she entered the fluorescent lamp lit nightmare of the lecture hall. _No one_ looked good in this lighting, except of course the obvious exception.

Rose looked as good as ever. The lighting having no effect on the vibrant red of her hair or the angles of her expertly sculpted face whatsoever.

Today, Rose was wearing a dark green skirt and a cream colored blouse, her hair was loose but the glasses were still there, slipping down the slope of her nose as she was reading from something on her desk.

‘Professor Ruvelle, miss me?’ Luisa said casually as she walked past, rolling the R in the same way she had done with Rose’s first name that night at the bar, when her first name was all she knew about Rose.

In a way, it had been better that way. With only her first name, she’d had no idea about the strange entanglement they would find themselves the next day, or the boyfriend who was definitely complicating matters.

But on the other hand, without the student/professor thing, it was very unlikely she would have seen Rose again. Still, she could do without the boyfriend. Luisa wasn’t a big fan of cheating. She’d never really had a serious girlfriend, so her sleeping around on the couple of regular booty calls she did have couldn’t be construed as cheating. But if she did have a girlfriend, she would break up with her first before sleeping with anyone else. It was just common decency.

So while she wasn’t judging Rose for making her the _other_ woman, she couldn’t quite understand why she just didn’t break up with her boyfriend if she didn’t love him anymore. It would make things a lot easier for everyone involved.

Rose looked up from her reading at the sound of her name.

‘Lu- Miss Alver,’ Rose greeted, catching her slip-up a little too late. Her face remained impassive but Luisa saw her eyes trail down her body; the dress having its desired effect.

This was the end of their little conversation and Luisa was sufficiently amused by it so she walked over to the theater-like seating in the lecture hall. But instead of hiding in the back like she’d done Monday, she sat right in the middle of the front row, straight across from Rose’s desk.

When Rose looked up, their eyes met.

Luisa grinned, leaning back in her chair, throwing an exaggerated wink Rose’s way.

Rose only reaction was to look away immediately after and busy herself with her papers.

She looked a little flustered and Luisa was feeling smug about having that effect on Rose, especially after she’d called their night together a ‘mistake’, multiple times. And it wasn’t a mistake, they both knew it.

As the rest of the students walked in, none of them as alert as Luisa was this early morning class, Rose did her best not to look at Luisa. Her eyes skipping over her whenever she had to look in her general direction.

Luisa didn’t mind, she knew Rose couldn’t ignore her the whole class. She’d make sure of that.

When the clock struck nine, Rose dimmed the lights and started her lecture.

Luisa still wasn’t sure why exactly ethics was a mandatory subject, she hadn’t really listened to Rose’s lecture on Monday as she was too busy staring. And she had yet to read the syllabus. So when Rose started about some old white dude who had done some pioneering research on the subject Luisa felt herself drifting off.

Rose was gorgeous. Luisa had thought that about a lot of different women in her life, but Rose was different. Her eyes were such a clear blue they seemed to catch all the light around them. Her skin was soft and smooth and oh so inviting to run her hands all over. The freckles across the bridge of her nose and her cheeks were so incredibly cute Luisa didn’t know what to do with herself. The way Rose moved and spoke seemed so effortlessly graceful, her smile, her legs, her …

She started, what the _hell_ was she doing? This was going far beyond thinking Rose was hot, this was rapidly approaching “crush” territory. And Luisa didn’t do crushes.

Luisa looked up, Rose was speaking animatedly again. Gesturing with her hands as she occasionally turned around to write something on the whiteboard. It made Luisa smile.

As she looked around the classroom, she saw that even with Rose as the professor, many students hadn’t made it to the 9 AM class. Those that had were either staring at Rose from the front rows like she herself was, or napping in the back. Very little people were actually taking notes.

But Luisa’s neighbor was one of them.

‘What’s she talking about?’ Luisa asked the girl next to her, flashing her a smile as she looked up. The girl was kinda cute, nothing like Rose, of course. But she had short blonde hair that framed her face beautifully.

‘Oh, uhm,’ the girl said, reading back the last couple of lines of her notes. ‘About how Rawls’ book _A Theory of Justice_ helped shift the perspective from meta-ethics to normative ethics.’

‘Thank you,’ Luisa whispered, briefly touching the girl’s arm before turning back to watch Rose, who was currently looking at her.

Rose held her gaze for a second, something had changed in the way she looked her. Earlier it was like she didn’t want to see Luisa, now she was purposefully making eye contact. Only looking away when Luisa winked at her again.

 _Interesting_. Luisa thought. It seemed Rose was a little jealous of her cute, blonde neighbor.

Luisa opened her laptop and pulled up the Wikipedia page for ethics. She might not have done any work beforehand, but she suddenly had an idea to get some more attention from Rose.

‘Professor,’ she said as she raised her hand.

Everyone in the class looked at her, no one had said or asked anything during this lecture yet. Or Monday for that matter.

Luisa didn’t mind the staring, because Rose was looking at her as well, and that was what she’d raised her hand for.

‘Yes, miss…?’

 _Really_? Pretending she didn’t know her name after having just used it not twenty minutes ago.

‘Alver. Or you could just call me Luisa, professor,’ Luisa grinned. If Rose was trying to pretend she didn’t know her, she could at least flirt a little with her in return.

‘Did you have a question, _miss Alver_?’ Rose said pointedly, folding her arms tightly across her chest, trying not to appear flustered.

‘Yes, actually. Why did we ever abandon hedonism as our go-to principle for ethics? Maximum pleasure and minimal pain sounds like an excellent way to decided what’s good or bad.’

Snickering sounded throughout the class, Rose didn’t seem appreciative of the question, seeing through the obvious double layer Luisa had embedded in it.

Rose didn’t uncross her arms, looking around the room before turning towards Luisa.

Luisa had wanted Rose’s undivided attention and that’s what she’d gotten. She leaned forward in her chair as Rose began to speak.

‘Because, miss Alver, while some considered hedonism to mean the most pleasure for the most people, many others took it to mean self-gratification. Taking the most pleasure for themselves while ignoring the pain and problems that caused for other people. There was absolutely no planning for the future, all desires were indulged immediately. That is no way to differentiate between good and bad.’

The glare that accompanied her words made Luisa draw back a bit. She was seemingly not the only one who could disguise personal comments to their situation as ethical questions, and Rose definitely had a head start. But that didn’t mean Luisa was just going to give up.

Throughout the rest of the lecture, Rose did her best to ignore Luisa, her eyes skipping over her in the rows of seats. But Luisa knew it was all an act. Rose was definitely watching her, because every time she raised her hand to ask another question about the subject. Rose immediately turned to face her, raising an eyebrow as she waited for Luisa to speak.

Once or twice Luisa caught Rose staring at her breasts as she leaned out of her seat, to emphasize her point of course. Whenever she did, she grinned at Rose, who pointedly looked up and pretended she was not blushing.

Luisa enjoyed flustering Rose, it was a fun and innocent way to get Rose to acknowledge her. Well, not that innocent. They had abandoned the topic of hedonism, (although hearing Rose say “pleasure” had been enjoyable) and had now moved on to the difference between professional ethics and personal ethics. Luisa had introduced the subject of cheating to the table, which of course, had thrown Rose for a loop.

But after a second of stunned silence that Luisa had really gone there, the red-haired professor skillfully deflected the question by opening up a group discussion, taking a sip from the water bottle from her desk while two of her students had started discussing when cheating was warranted.

Luisa wasn’t really listening; she was watching Rose. And suddenly something clicked. Rose’s set jaw, the raised shoulders, the crossed arms, the tight smile; she was obviously uncomfortable, or angry, or both. And Luisa knew it was her fault.

Rose had asked her to stop this, the flirting, the looks, everything. And Luisa had ignored her and just charged ahead.

She bit her lip as she was reminded of Rose’s answer to her earlier question about hedonism. _“Taking the most pleasure for themselves while ignoring the pain and problems that caused for other people.”_ And wasn’t that exactly what she’d been doing?

Yes, it was very likely Rose was denying herself the pleasure of sleeping with Luisa again. But she had her reasons; her career, her boyfriend, _both_ their futures. And Luisa had ignored all of that because Rose was hot and she wanted to sleep with her again.

She groaned, she was risking Rose’s career by doing this, this selfish indulgence of her desires.

So what the hell was she doing? Rose had hurt her feelings a little by react in the way that she did, but that didn’t warrant this idiotic game Luisa had started playing. The entitlement to Rose’s attention. So while their night together had not been a mistake. Luisa’s continued flirting with Rose _after_ the woman had clearly told her she was not interested in a repeat performance, definitely counted as a mistake.

Luisa slumped in her chair a bit, sinking down below her laptop screen. She was really just behaving like an embarrassing teenager, thinking only of herself. Yes, Rose was hot, but also unavailable. She wasn’t the only woman in the world and as she obviously didn’t want this relationship, it was best for Luisa to move on now, before she did something she couldn’t take back and cause a whole lot of problems for the both of them.

The risk would only be worth it if Rose was a willing participant, and as of now, she wasn’t.

* * *

Rose’s eyes kept darting over to where Luisa was sitting. She had been very quiet ever since she asked Rose about the ethics of cheating. There were no more lingering looks, no more grins, and no more winks. Not even any more cleverly concealed questions.

Instead, Luisa was quietly discussing something with the girl next to her.

Rose tried not to look at Luisa, she had really tried, but from the moment Luisa had walked into the room her eyes had subconsciously been searching her out, watching her out of the corner of her eye.

It wasn’t just the dress Luisa was wearing, or the dark red lipstick the younger woman had purposefully applied that morning (and three times since, not that Rose was counting) but the way she smiled and grinned and actually put some work in her entirely inappropriate questions.

But something had changed since then and now Luisa was suddenly trying very hard not to get noticed, half hiding behind her laptop screen.

Rose was curious what it was.

Luisa had clearly been trying to get her to notice her, to get her to admit something. And it was annoying and aggravating. But Luisa had been right when she called Rose out on still wanting this _thing_ between them. Because if Daniel hadn’t walked in, she was sure she would have kissed Luisa again. If not more.

The distance between them was for their own good, and she should act like it. Stand by her decision. Do the right thing.

But if she was honest, Rose hadn’t really _minded_ the attention Luisa was asking for, it gave her an excuse to look at her.

* * *

When the class ended, Rose half expected Luisa to leave the room as quickly as possible. But like she had before, Luisa lingered, only approaching her after everyone, including the girl next to her, had left.

‘Yes?’ Rose asked, her tone a little clipped as she tried not to focus on Luisa’s lips. She was more annoyed with herself and her inability to look away than she was with Luisa.

‘I’m sorry, for all of that,’ Luisa said, sounding sincere. ‘It was childish. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I know what you said, and I’ll stop. I just wanted to say I am sorry. I was being a bitch. I’ll go now,’ she said, turning around to walk away.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, reaching out to Luisa by the wrist. She didn’t know why; this was what she had wanted, right?

‘So you do know my name,’ Luisa grinned, looking at Rose’s hand still on her wrist.

Rose quickly let go, Luisa grin making her heart speed up. She ran a hand through her hair as she tried to think of a reason why she had stopped Luisa from leaving. _I want to be with you but I can’t for purely self-imposed reasons_ wouldn’t really do either of them any good. Also there were the university guidelines to consider and of course Daniel…

‘You know why we can’t do this.’ Was all she said, half a concession. Because it was obvious she _did_ still want this.

‘I know, it’s okay. It was fun. I’ll see you around, _professor_.’ Luisa’s grin was as teasing as ever, and Rose couldn’t quite figure out if Luisa was still being serious; if she wanted her to be serious.

* * *

During the next couple of weeks, it became clear that Luisa had been serious when she said she’d back off. She no longer publically flirted with Rose during the lectures, she no longer winked and grinned at her, and she didn’t approach her before or after class. She was, by all means, a normal student.

Except, Rose still couldn’t stop looking at her. Even in clothes that hadn’t been specifically picked to get a reaction out of her, Rose kept glancing over at her during the four hours a week she actually saw the brunette.

And as a result of the ceased flirting, Luisa had turned her charms to another woman.

Every lecture, Rose couldn’t help but notice Luisa laughing and smiling with the quiet girl next to her. The casual touches and the exaggerated winks she sent the girl’s way to make her blush. Rose saw all of it and for some reason it bothered her a whole lot more than two students flirting in her class should.

Rose tried not to see it. It was all thanks to her own choices anyway. She had told Luisa that what happened that night couldn’t happen again. And now Luisa had moved on and found someone new. So she shouldn’t feel this way, this _jealous._

Rose tried to forget about Luisa, like Luisa had so easily forgotten about her. She tried to remind herself that it was for the better. That this was what she had wanted. That she had Daniel, that he enough. That Luisa dating someone else was none of her business.

And yet, when Rose walked to class the next Monday she felt herself getting excited at the prospect of seeing Luisa again. Even now, after all these weeks of barely any contact. An enthusiasm she’d lacked Friday night when Daniel asked if she wanted to spend the weekend with him.

Rose groaned. This was not who she was. She was not pining after a girl she had a one-night stand with. A girl who was no longer available. A girl she had turned down. No, she had more self-control than this. She would just treat Luisa as any other student.

She walked into class focused purely on her notes, not even once glancing at the sixth seat from the right where Luisa always sat.

But after reading her notes twice Rose had no other choice but to look up at the room. And subconsciously her eyes darted to Luisa’s chair, which was empty.

Rose raised an eyebrow and checked her watch, 8:55 AM. Normally Luisa would be there already, greeting her with a smile.

Luisa might not be actively flirting with her now, but that didn’t mean she had stopped smiling or grinning when their eyes met. Those smiles had a way of following her around throughout the day, reminding her of what she could have had if she wasn’t so afraid.

Rose ignored Luisa’s absence and went back to her notes, she was probably just late.

When the clock read 9:05 AM Rose started her lecture, most students had managed to drag themselves to the lecture hall after a weekend of binge drinking and partying. But Luisa wasn’t one of them.

During the lecture, Rose’s eyes kept darting to Luisa’s empty seat of her own accord. The room felt weirdly empty with Luisa smiling at her.

It was not uncommon for people to skip. She taught _ethics_ , which she knew it wasn’t the most interesting subject by itself. And as it was mandatory 9 AM class it presented itself as an extra burden many people weren’t willing to bear. But she had never thought Luisa would be one of them.

In a moment of weakness, she had gone through Luisa’s student records. Her grades were incredible and her attendance was good, she didn’t always show up. A missed class here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary for a 23-year-old med student.

She wondered where Luisa was, if she was sick, had overslept, or just didn’t feel like going today. She wished she had a way to find out, but there was nothing she could do.

The class was mandatory only in the sense the course had to be passed. There was a participation grade, but Rose only started docking points after three skips; people would never pass otherwise.

She ended the lecture, still wondering where Luisa was and why she hadn’t shown up.

But in a stroke of luck, she ran into the brunette later that day. Only she wasn’t alone.

Rose had been walking from the Law building to the Science building, which housed the cafeteria, when she heard a familiar laugh. The sound made nerves stand on end but as she turned around the warm feeling turned cold. Luisa wasn’t alone, she was walking hand in hand with a girl: the blonde one Luisa had been flirting with for the last couple of weeks during her lectures. Now she thought about it, she hadn’t seen the blonde this morning either…

They were laughing and their heads were bent close together, they were walking towards Rose but were too absorbed into each other to notice her.

‘I gotta go now,’ Luisa smiled. ‘I have a class soon.’

‘Call me later?’ the girl asked, also grinning.

‘I sure will,’ Luisa said, leaning in to kiss her goodbye.

Rose stared for half a second as they kissed, clenching her jaw tightly before looking away.

* * *

Luisa wasn’t really looking where she was going, so when someone suddenly said her name right next to her she jumped a little.

She looked up and saw the last person she expected standing less than three feet away. Except for the night at the bar, she had never seen Rose outside of the Law faculty building.

‘Rose, I mean professor Ruvelle,’ Luisa corrected immediately. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.’

There was an unidentifiable look in Rose’s eye as she quickly ran her eyes up Luisa’s form. The gesture still sending sparks through Luisa’s body.

She might have given up flirting with the redhead, that didn’t mean the feelings of attraction weren’t still there.

‘I missed you this morning during my lecture,’ Rose said, a strained smile curling her lips.

‘Yes, sorry for that. I, uhm, _overslept_ ,’ Luisa said with a sheepish grin.

Rose looked at her skeptically but didn’t question it.

‘Did I miss anything important?’ Luisa wasn’t sure what she had expected Rose to say to this. It would seem a little strange for a professor to say that nothing of any importance had been discussed during a two-hour lecture of their subject. But what Rose actually said was even stranger.

‘Do you have time to walk back to my office with me?’

Luisa’s eyebrows should up in surprise. And before she could ask why, Rose elaborated.

‘I had the students sign up for a paper topic this morning. Which you obviously missed as you were still _sleeping._ So maybe you could spare ten minutes of your time and sign up now.’

‘Yeah, of course,’ Luisa said, she didn’t really have anything better to do. And if she was being honest, she would do anything Rose asked of her.

She walked a couple of steps behind Rose as they made their way towards her office.

Luisa trying to figure out why Rose was so insistent on her signing up right now.

She found the answer to that question when Rose closed her office door behind them and backed Luisa up against it, leaning in for a searing kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading and I hope it was okay.  
> I just really wanted to get this chapter out of the way so we could move on to the good stuff and i hope it doens't seem rushed
> 
> Comments and feedback are always extremely welcome. I love hearing what you think of my writing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of all your amazing feedback I managed to type out a chapter in record time! So thank you all for that!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the second update in three days and I hope that makes up for my previous once a month schedule. (So sorry)
> 
> Enjoy the smut!

The sudden press of Rose’s lips on hers startled Luisa a little. So her initial response was to try and back away, only to find she couldn’t. She was effectively trapped between the wooden door at her back and Rose in front of her.

But once her mind caught up with the whirlwind of things happening right now, she relaxed and kissed back. Because it was _Rose_ kissing her and while she’d tried to get over the gorgeous woman in front of her for the last month or so; it hadn’t really worked. And it seemed it hadn’t worked for Rose either.

Luisa moaned softly when Rose’s tongue darted out to trace her lips. She immediately opened her mouth to allow Rose to deepen the kiss.

As they kissed, Rose pressed herself closer to Luisa, their bodies now perfectly lined up, fully touching.

Another soft moan escaped Luisa’s lips as Rose’s left hand briefly rested on her thigh before moving on to lock the door behind them.

Luisa didn’t know how Rose was still in the state of mind to think about something as trivial as locking doors (her own mind was sufficiently hazy) but she was glad they would not be interrupted.

She reached up and tangled her hands in Rose’s hair, pulling strands from the bun Rose had tied it back in. She was kind of offended that Rose was clear minded enough to lock doors and she sought to remedy that immediately by deepening the kiss even further.

Rose let out an appreciative moan, her fingers digging into Luisa’s hips as she took a step backwards, guiding Luisa with her so the kiss never broke.

They stumbled around the room in a haze of lust, hands roaming and groping, tugging at clothes and seeking bare skin. Their mouths still fused together in a heated kiss.

The kiss only broke when Luisa gasped in surprise as Rose backed her up against the desk, the edge digging into her ass.

Luisa hopped up on the piece of furniture as Rose moved even closer to her.

The dress Luisa had been wearing today was now pushed high up her thighs as Rose was standing between her spread legs.

Luisa wrapped her legs around Rose’s middle, keeping her in place while they started kissing again. The previous kiss hadn’t stilled the hunger and lustful yearning in either of them.

Rose, now softly biting down on Luisa’s lower lip, ran her hand up the bare skin of Luisa’s leg.

Luisa moaned again, she wanted Rose. She wanted _this_. Even if it was very likely Rose would come to her senses after this and it would never happen again, she’d still take it.

Nimble fingers were now tracing invisible spirals on the sensitive skin of Luisa’s inner thighs, the movements dizzying.

‘Fuck me,’ Luisa moaned, her head thrown back and her eyes shut tightly.

‘You have to be quiet,’ Rose said, her voice a throaty whisper.

Luisa nodded automatically, tilting her head back. She would do whatever Rose asked at this point.

But it wasn’t enough for Rose, who cupped her cheek and forced Luisa to look back down at her. So Luisa looked.

Rose was panting just like Luisa, her skin was flushed, her hair was messy from where Luisa had pulled on it. But while her eyes were darkened with arousal, they were also serious.

‘I can be quiet,’ Luisa whispered, a grin shaping her lips. ‘But can you?’ she teased, running a finger down Rose’s throat to play with the top button of Rose’s blouse, plucking at it until it became undone.

Rose captured her hand before Luisa could undo another button, pressing it to the desk beside her.

‘Why don’t you fins out,’ Rose growled, pulling Luisa’s dress over her head so she was left only in her underwear.

Luisa shivered as the cool air hit her exposed skin, Rose grinning slightly.

In contrast to their night at the motel, Rose seemed to know exactly what she wanted now. Unhooking Luisa’s bra one-handed, she tossed it to the side before replaced the garment with her hands, massaging the soft flesh roughly.

Rose growled again. ‘Do you own _anything_ that isn’t low cut?’ she asked between the butterfly kisses she was leaving on Luisa’s neck and chest.

‘A turtleneck,’ Luisa breathed, arching up into Rose’s touch. ‘For when I have to hide a hickey,’ she added. Inhaling sharply as Rose took that as permission to suck a bright red spot on the skin where her neck met her shoulder.

‘God,’ Luisa moaned, gripping the desk tightly as Rose replaced one of the hands on her chest with her mouth.

Rose’s tongue licking against, swirling around an already rock-hard nipple sent sparks all through Luisa’s body, making arousal pool between her legs.

She bucked her hips up, trying to divert Rose’s attention lower. She was very much enjoying the attention Rose was paying to her breasts, but they were in an office and sooner or later someone would come knocking. And she felt like she knew Rose well enough to say that the redhead would ignore _her_ in favor of answering the door.

‘Rose,’ Luisa mewled, desperation coloring her voice. After a month of being unable to do anything but look at Rose, having the woman so close to her had sent her senses into overdrive and she was well past foreplay at this point.

‘Shh,’ Rose shushed. And normally Luisa would be annoyed by this, but the hand sliding down her stomach and into her panties was enough to pacify her.

‘Fuck,’ Luisa moaned, biting down on her lip to keep her volume down. Rolling her hips up against Rose’s hand, craving more contact but not being able to ask for it outright. She didn’t _beg_.

Rose circled her clit, once, twice and then pulled her hand away.

Luisa groaned in frustration, tightening her legs around Rose so she couldn’t step away and abandon her completely. She looked up, trying to gauge what the hell Rose thought she was doing.

‘Oh, fuck me,’ Luisa breathed as Rose sucked her fingers clean in what was an incredibly erotic gesture. Maybe begging wasn’t that bad an idea because this was pure torture.

But Rose didn’t need anything more than the visual confirmation that Luisa wanted her as she suddenly brought her hand back down between Luisa’s legs. This time pushing Luisa’s underwear to the side and sliding two fingers into her without any warning.

Luisa quickly clasped a hand over her mouth to prevent an obscenely loud moan from being heard all through the office and probably in the hallway as well.

Rose twisted and curled her fingers inside of her, hitting all the right spots in such a skillful manner that it suggested more than one night of intimate knowledge of Luisa’s body. But Luisa figured Rose was just _that_ good.

Her hips lifted half of the desk to meet Rose’s thrusts, enjoying the feeling of Rose inside of her, fucking her. Never wanting it to end. Because through the haze of lust and pleasure, Luisa realized very well where she was: in her professor’s office, nearly naked, being fucked by the woman who had turned her down once before. So it was very reasonable to assume that as soon as it ended, that was going to be it for the two of them.

So while Luisa wanted this to last forever, her body had other plans. With ever curl of Rose’s fingers, she could feel herself getting closer to orgasm.

It was getting difficult to keep her eyes open, to keep her breathing under control, to stop the incessant rolling and bucking of her hips.

‘Let go, come for me,’ Rose whispered, her breath hot on the shell of Luisa’s ear.

Luisa shuddered, both from the breathless and husky quality of Rose’s voice and from the sudden pressure Rose was now using while she circled her clit, intent on making her come.

And Luisa did, suddenly surging forward, fisting a hand in Rose’s hair as she pulled her in for a kiss, needing something to muffle her moans.

Rose kissed her deeply, just as hungry as when they’d started, swallowing Luisa’s moans as her body worked through wave after wave of pleasure.

When the pleasure finally ebbed away, Luisa’s whole body felt too hot and heavy. She slumped forwards against Rose, who was grinning that same smug smile she’d worn that night at the motel.

‘You’re gorgeous,’ Rose whispered, stroking locks of hair away from Luisa’s face.

‘Well, so is that blouse.’ Luisa grinned as a confused expression crossed Rose’s face, so she continued. ‘Shame it is going to end up in a crumpled heap on the ground once I get my hands on it.’

‘Well,’ Rose mused, smirking slightly as she lifted Luisa’s hands, tangling their fingers together. ‘I might be able to help you out with that.’

‘Really?’ Luisa grinned.

‘Really,’ Rose smiled, bringing Luisa’s hands to her chest as she started undoing the buttons.

* * *

‘I’m late for class,’ Luisa said as she stared up at the ceiling of Rose’s office: at some point they’d ended up on the ground.

‘Do you need me to write a note?’ Rose grinned as she rolled over, now half hovering over Luisa, leaning in for a kiss.

‘Mmh,’ Luisa smiled, not having expected Rose to make a joke about their student/professor situation so soon. ‘I think my time is better spent studying anatomy with you than in a classroom, don’t you?’ she smiled.

Rose rolled her eyes and nipped at her lips in response to Luisa’s comment.

Luisa laughed and pulled Rose down for a real kiss. Just when she was about to reverse their positions and show Rose exactly why a refresher course anatomy was a waste of her time, Rose got up. Walking around the room to put her discarded clothes back on.

Luisa thoughtfully chewed on her bottom lip, ‘Rose,’ she said after a moment of silent contemplation, waiting for Rose to look at her before continuing. ‘What does this mean?’ She knew it was probably a bad idea, but she had to ask. She needed to know if there was the possibility of this ever happening again.

The sex was some of the best she’d ever had, and it would be nice to do it again some time. But good sex could be found in a lot of places and most of them wouldn’t be as complicated as sleeping with Rose was, for many, many reasons. And yet, there was something about Rose herself, not the sex, that made Luisa want to try despite the obstacles.

‘What does what mean?’ Rose asked, smoothing the creases out of her skirt.

‘This,’ Luisa motioned between the two of them. ‘Us, you and I. A month ago you called me into your office to tell me that this could never happen again. And then, today, you pulled me into your office and you _kissed_ me. And then, well, you know what happened after. So what I am asking is, _is_ it going to happen again?’

Rose sighed, pulling out the elastic that has stopped fulfilling its purpose of keeping Rose’s hair tied back quite some time ago. ‘I don’t know what this means. Nothing has changed. I am still your professor. We aren’t allowed to do this.’

‘So why then did you drag me to your office under false pretenses and then proceeded to _kiss_ me?’ Luisa asked.

‘Because I wanted to,’ Rose sighed, finally meeting Luisa’s eyes. ‘I like you, Luisa. I tried to stop liking you, I really did. It would be for the best if I _had_ , because we shouldn’t be doing this. But I can’t stop.’

Luisa felt her lips curl back up into a smile. Maybe there still was a chance if she played her cards right.

‘Neither can I, I tried to stop noticing you. To stop thinking about you. To distract myself,’ she said, pointedly looking at Rose, who seemed to understand what she was really trying to say. ‘But somehow it doesn’t work.’

Rose smiled and stepped closer, putting her hands on Luisa’s still bare hips. ‘So what _I_ think this means, Luisa, is that I am not opposed to this happening again in the future, as long as we keep it quiet.’

Luisa grinned, her chest feeling a little lighter all of the sudden. She had no problem keeping this a secret; she wasn’t one to flaunt her relationships anyway. ‘You know how great I am at keeping quiet,’ she smirked.

Rose laughed, her hands caressing Luisa’s sides. ‘Oh, I know. You might want to get dressed, though. Because it will be very hard to keep things quiet when you’re still in here, naked, when my office hours start.’

Luisa nodded, picking her underwear and bra off the floor, watching Rose as the redhead combed her fingers through the tangles of red curls before putting it up in a messy bun.

Once she was dressed again, her summer dress not showing the wrinkles laying on the floor had imparted on them, she approached Rose.

‘Give me your phone,’ she said, brushing a piece of lint of Rose’s ass before meeting the redhead’s blue eyes.

Rose was looking at her over her shoulder, trying to suppress her amusement.

‘Can I ask why?’ she said, already handing the unlocked device over.

‘I’m giving you my number,’ Luisa said simply. ‘You can’t have a booty call with the _call_ part. Sending me an email over the university server to come over and fuck you would just be wrong.’ She pressed the dial button and waited for her own phone to ring before hanging up. ‘And now I have your number as well,’ Luisa said, handing the phone back to Rose with a flourish.

Rose smiled, taking the phone back and putting it face down on her desk.

‘Can’t wait to see you in a turtleneck on Thursday,’ Rose smirked, eyes on the already purpling mark on Luisa’s neck.

‘I don’t know; do I need to hide the hickey?’ Luisa mused, tapping her finger to her chin. ‘I think it’s very unlikely someone will think it was my _ethics_ professor who gave me one. Besides, I like it when you stare at me when I wear something low cut.’ Luisa couldn’t help but tease a little, Rose had given her the greenlight for jokes about their situation when she brought up writing a note for her.

‘Luisa,’ Rose warned as Luisa moved to unlock the door.

‘Hmm?’ Luisa asked, tilting her head to the side in question.

Rose moved into her space, backing her up against the door for the second time that day.

‘I still need you to pick a topic for your paper,’ Rose grinned, then stepping away without doing anything.

But Luisa wasn’t going to let her get away with it this easily. She caught Rose by the wrist and pulled her back against her, pulling the taller woman down for another searing kiss.

‘I’ll let you know Thursday, just like everyone else who missed today’s class will,’ Luisa smirked, having seen through Rose’s ploy form the beginning.

‘See you Thursday, miss Alver.’

‘See you Thursday, professor,’ Luisa said as she unlocked the door, stepping out into the hallway. She had the feeling Rose might call before Thursday arrived…

* * *

It been two weeks since she and Rose had come to their arrangement, and to Luisa’s surprise, Ethics classes weren’t all that different now she and Rose regularly saw each other naked.

She didn’t know what she’d expected to change, but nothing had. She still stared at Rose a great deal and fantasized about taking the redhead’s very nice, tailored clothes off after class.

The only difference was that Rose was now smiling at her during the lectures. Her eyes seemed to naturally find Luisa. She’d hold her gaze for a few seconds, smile, and then move on. It wasn’t much, but Luisa liked those moments.

‘I like it when you smile at me during a lecture,’ Luisa said, still trying to catch her breath.

They had once again ended up on the floor of Rose’s office, Rose lying next to her, also panting.

‘You do, huh?’ Rose smiled, reaching beside her for Luisa’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

‘Yeah,’ Luisa breathed. ‘It’s nice. Unlike your office floor,’ she sighed, shifting a little, trying to find a more comfortable position.

Rose laughed. ‘It’s still better than my couch.’

Now it was Luisa’s turn to laugh as she remembered the ill-fated time they had attempted to have sex on the couch and how they had ended up on the floor in a tangle of limbs mere minutes later.

‘Pretty sure my coccyx is still bruised from that,’ Luisa grumbled.

‘And I thank you for breaking my fall,’ Rose smiled, pushing herself up on her elbows to kiss Luisa softly.

‘Mmh,’ Luisa hummed, trying to find a pattern between the freckles dusting Rose’s skin. Tracing the invisible lines between them with her finger.

‘What time is it?’ Luisa asked after having spent a few minutes stroking Rose’s skin in silence.

‘Still early,’ Rose smiled, stealing another kiss.

‘Good, I wanted to ask you something,’ Luisa said, positioning her head on Rose’s chest, which was infinitely more comfortable than the rough carpet on the floor.

‘What’s that?’ Rose asked, slinging her arm around Luisa’s shoulders in a light embrace.

‘Why ethics?’ She could feel Rose tense a little underneath her. Not wanting to ruin the relaxed atmosphere they had created, Luisa explained what she’d meant with the question.

‘I didn’t ask because of the terrible irony that you, an _ethics_ professor, are sleeping with a student. I was just wondering why give up a job at a law firm to teach ethics? The pay can’t possibly be better.’

‘I wasn’t supposed to teach ethics when I started here,’ Rose sighed. ‘I was hired to teach criminal law after the current professor retired. But he never did, and instead of getting rid of me, they offered me the position as ethics chair, after the current professor suddenly died. Because my minor apparently made my qualified enough to take over. Ethics is a dying subject.’

Luisa couldn’t help but laugh.

‘What’s funny?’ Rose asked, stroking up and down Luisa’s back.

‘Just- Was the other professor really old? The one who died?’ Luisa managed to say between giggles.

’90, I believe. I never met him. Luisa?’ Rose asked after Luisa had completely collapsed into a laughing fit.

‘It’s just – when I -  that first Monday, I thought “I bet the ethics professor is going to be ancient and dreadfully boring” and of course you walked in in your tailored slacks and designer glasses and blew that stereotype right out of the water. But now-  now you tell me the dude who’s job you took, was so old he _died_ on the job. I mean, it’s _funny_ ,’ Luisa said, wiping her eyes as she’d been laughing so hard it had brought forth tears.

Rose laughingly shook her head, kissing Luisa again.

‘So you have a minor in ethics, huh?’ Luisa said after she’d sufficiently calmed down.

‘Yes, I majored in criminal law with a minor in ethics.’

‘I saw your dissertation online. _Ethics in Criminal Law: The Shift from Religious Morals to Modern Ethics._ Seemed interesting…”

‘You googled me?’ Rose asked, sounding surprised.

‘Of course I googled you, it’s the 21st century. Just because you can’t get with the times, doesn’t mean I can’t try and cyber stalk you.’

‘That’s exactly why do not have a Facebook,’ Rose teased.

Luisa shrugged. ‘Now I just have to real-life stalk you,’ she said, nuzzling closer to Rose. ‘You still haven’t told me why you switched from lawyer to professor.’

‘I needed a career change, a place opened up here, I was qualified. That’s all really.’

Luisa knew that wasn’t all there was to it, but she could also feel that it was a bit of a sore subject for Rose, so she changed the topic.

‘Well, you make a _very_ sexy professor. I think it’s the glasses,’ Luisa said, pushing Rose’s glasses further up her nose.

‘Yes, my bad eyesight has been a turn-on for many,’ Rose deadpanned but then a smile broke across her face.

Luisa laughed. ‘Be honest, you know exactly what effect your looks have on people and you use it to your advantage.’

‘And you’re saying you and your low-cut tops don’t?’ Rose smiled, snapping Luisa’s bra strap teasingly. ‘It would be stupid not to use something you’ve got.’

‘True,’ Luisa said, leaning in for another lingering kiss before getting up. ‘Speaking about, I should go and put my brain to some use. Still have to get started on that paper…’ she smirked, pulling her dress over her head.

‘It’s due next week!’ Rose said, sounding accusatory.

Luisa raised an eyebrow and Rose reigned herself in, reminding herself that this was not the moment to play the professor. She was still naked after all.

‘I’ll do it, don’t worry. Can’t disappoint my professor, now can I?’ Luisa smiled, helping Rose into her dress.

‘Can I just ask what you’ve been doing with your free time if you still haven’t started on your paper?’ Rose said as she lifted her hair up so Luisa could pull up the zipper.

‘Well, I’ve been doing _you,_ for starters,’ Luisa grinned. ‘Some other homework, parties, drinking, the usual college stuff,’ Luisa said as she zipped up Rose’s dress, placing a kiss at the top of Rose’s spine, making the redhead shiver.

‘In fact,’ she continued, ‘there’s a sorority party tonight. Which is why I have to leave early. I would invite you and while it does seem like your scene, I doubt you’d say yes, so I won’t ask,’ Luisa said, putting her heels back on.

‘Good call, and what do you mean that seems like my scene?’

‘Oh come on, you were _definitely_ in a sorority when you were in college.’

‘What makes you say that?’ Rose said, crossing her arms.

‘Just tell me I’m right.’

‘You’re right,’ Rose sighed. ‘I was in sorority. Now tell me how you know.’

‘You exude a high level of WASP-y vibes and all those girls are in sororities.’ Rose looked offended by that. ‘It was also one of the only things I could find about you on the internet,’ Luisa added with a grin. ‘Also Harvard, congratulations.’

Rose glared at her. ‘I am not WASP-y.’

‘You are a little bit. With the clothes and the hair and glasses. Oh, and _Harvard._ ’

Rose huffed but Luisa could see her fight a smile.

‘So,’ Luisa started, ‘you won’t go to a sorority party with me, but can I take you out to dinner sometime? Or coffee?’ Luisa knew she was taking a risk. Up until this point their encounters had just been sexual. And while Luisa loved every second of it, she wanted to take Rose out on a date sometime.

‘Luisa, you know we can’t…’

‘I am not asking you to kiss me in public or to hold me hand. Just to go somewhere that’s not your office. Because I am getting tired of getting carpet burn.’

Rose though it over for a second, a small smile lifting the corners of her mouth. ‘It would be nice to have sex in a bed for a change,’ she mused.

‘So is that a yes?’ Luisa asked hopefully.

Rose opened her mouth to say something, but at exactly that moment someone on the other side of the door turned the knob, and upon finding it locked, proceeded to knock.

‘Rose? You in there? Why’s your door locked?’

Rose froze, the smile fading from her face as fast as it had appeared. And while Luisa was not very good with voices, she was pretty sure this one belonged to Rose’s boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked the chapter, please leave a comment telling me so! You have seen for yourself now how they help motivate me!
> 
> I'll try to update again soon, but please don't expect another chapter in three days. This was an anomaly. I also have other fics to work on and our first annual [Roisa Sin Week](http://www.roisasinweek2016.tumblr.com) is coming up, so if you'd check that out that be awesome too!
> 
> Thank you for reading and see you soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday and we all know what that means (No we don't because you never actually managed to update this on a Saturday, LIv) it is Ethics 101 day! And as a special, this one is 1000 words longer than planned (it just happened, no idea why)
> 
> Your continued support for this fic is incredible to me and I am so glad you like it.
> 
> I hope you all like this chapter too, enjoy!

They looked at each other, Rose obviously checking the room for any signs of what had just transpired inside of it. Luisa just silently asking Rose why the hell he was here.

Rose, satisfied all was as it should be, shot Luisa a warning look and motioned for her to sit down while she walked over to the door to unlock it.

So Luisa, rolling her eyes, did as she was asked and sat down in front of Rose’s desk. Trying to not smile too smugly.

She wasn’t sure why Rose’s boyfriend was there. Maybe he’d come over to tell Rose how much he missed her and how he wanted her back. He seemed like the type to not take “no” for an answer.

But to her surprise, that was not why he was here. At all.

‘Sorry, darling,’ Rose smiled. ‘The door was locked because _people_ kept walking in while I was with a student,’ she said pointedly.

 _Darling_? What? Oh. Realization driving the smug smile from Luisa’s face.

‘Are you still?’ he asked, peering past Rose into her office, spotting Luisa, who gave him a sarcastic little wave.

‘Sorry for stealing her away from you for a sec,’ he smiled apologetically.

‘I can’t blame you,’ Luisa said, ignoring Rose’s glare.

‘I should really finish this, Daniel,’ Rose said.

‘Alright, I just wanted to see you and ask you to dinner tonight.’

‘I’ll see you tonight,’ Rose smiled, pecking Daniel quickly on the lips.

‘Sorry again for interrupting,’ he smiled. Probably very charmingly but Luisa was too pissed to notice.

As soon as he closed the door behind him, Luisa went off.

‘You’re still dating him?’ Luisa wasn’t sure what she had expected; they never talked about him at all, but for some reason she’d assumed Rose had broken up with him after they had started sleeping together again.

‘Yes,’ Rose said, her head held high but her eyes were soft, as if she felt guilty. ‘I-’

But Luisa cut her off. ‘Why?’

‘I can’t – I don’t – I can’t hurt him like that,’ Rose sighed eventually.

‘You’re hurting him now. Or do you think he doesn’t care about you cheating on him?’

‘I know,’ Rose sighed. ‘I know, but he’s a good guy and he loves me.’

‘Do you?’ Luisa asked. ‘Love him back, I mean?’ Luisa elaborated when Rose stared at her blankly.

‘It’s complicated,’ Rose sighed, running a hand through her hair.

‘It’s not complicated, it’s easy. Either you love him and I don’t know what the hell you’re doing with me. Or you don’t and then I don’t know what the hell you’re still doing with him.’

Luisa had expected Rose to blanche at this, to turn all icy like she had the last time the subject of her boyfriend had come up. But instead Rose just stayed quiet and looked lost deep in thought.

Luisa sighed and got up. ‘Two weeks, we’ve had a good run.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I can’t do this with you. You obviously have some feelings you need to sort out for yourself. And I want no part in this with you and Rick.’

‘Daniel,’ Rose corrected. ‘And you knew that when you slept with me two weeks back.’

Luisa bit her lip; she had known that. Rose had never actually said she was going to break up with him and she hadn’t bothered to ask. So why did she care? She didn’t like Rick, _Daniel_. So why did it bother her Rose was cheating on him with her?

‘You started that,’ Luisa said, crossing her arms as she watched Rose.

‘You didn’t object,’ Rose reminded her. ‘But I understand, and I am sorry for dragging you into this.’

‘So you’re picking him?’ Luisa asked, feeling angry and sad at the same time. Angry because even before Rose answered, she knew she was going to pick her boyfriend over her, and sad because that would mean that this two-week thing between them was now officially over.

‘You are my student, Luisa. Even if I – Even if Daniel and I weren’t together already, we couldn’t do this.’

‘Okay, I get it. You’ve made that very clear, thank you. See you around, I guess,’ Luisa said dejectedly. Feeling like she should have seen this coming.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, making her stop in her tracks. Luisa almost hoped she’d tell her not to leave. That she wanted this, that she wanted _her_. Everything else be damned. ‘I’ll see you in class Tuesday,’ is what she said instead.

Luisa nodded before leaving. At least Rose had been honest about it this time. So she couldn’t be angry with her, she had just expected it to last longer between them. _Hoped_ was probably a more accurate term.

* * *

The first thing she did when she returned to her dorm room was open her fridge and pull out a half-empty bottle of vodka, taking the entire thing with her as she opened up her laptop.

She poured herself a glass as she pulled up her paper; she should really do some work on it before going to the party.

The vodka burned down her throat as rested her head in her hands. She couldn’t bring herself to write this paper. Not now.

She sighed and closed her laptop again. This was decidedly unfair. Why did she have to like a woman she couldn’t have? Why did she care so much about Rose also being with Daniel? It was not like she had expected them to be exclusive.

She sighed. She knew the answer. It was the same reason why she hadn’t called Kelly back that evening two weeks ago. She wanted Rose to be the only one, just like she had wanted to be the only one for Rose.

And that was just messed up. She knew she probably shouldn’t, she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch six hours ago, but she poured herself another one. At least it would help her forget about Rose and this whole situation for a little while.

* * *

Luisa drained the last of her glass as she unsteadily made her way over to the shower, depositing the vodka bottle with the other empty liquor bottles on the shelf.

While she stripped as her shower warmed up, she noticed a fresh hickey on her collarbone.

How dare she? Luisa thought as she stumbled into the shower. How dare Rose just make this choice to cut her out? And how dare she be so reasonable out it?

Because even now, already halfway drunk, Luisa knew that Rose had made the sensible choice.

They couldn’t be openly together: they were still student and professor. So it was selfish to ask Rose to give up her boyfriend for someone she couldn’t fully be with. Even if Rose had some very serious issues to ponder in the future about why she was even with whatever his name was. Because the reasons Rose had given hadn’t been very convincing.

She angrily ran the washcloth all over her skin, washing away all traces of Rose. Her hands linger on her collarbone for some time where a more permanent mark refused to be washed away.

She sighed, it seemed she’d just have to get to over Rose again. And sorority parties where a great place to do just that.

* * *

‘Daniel, no,’ Rose laughed, trying to get away from him but he just pulled her back by her arm.

‘Come on! It will be fun! I used to eat here all the time when I was in college.’ Daniel said, wrapping his arms around her waist. It was too tight; they didn’t fit together. Not in the way she and Luisa did.

She stopped herself, she shouldn’t be thinking about Luisa, that was over now. And it would do her no good to dwell on it. So instead she focused on something that _was_ still there.

‘We’re no longer in college, Daniel,’ she said, forcing a smile.

‘We’re professors. We still go to college, only now we get paid for it,’ he grinned, pulling Rose into the diner despite her protests.

As soon as they entered, Rose found another reason not to eat at that particular diner. Because of course, not even thirty seconds after having decided to try and forget about Luisa, she spotted the brunette sitting in a booth not ten feet away from her, having dinner with her friends before a night out.

Rose turned her back towards the young woman, when she noticed Luisa had slung her arm around the shoulders of the girl next to her. The possessive gesture sending a flare of jealousy through her body.

She had the faint hope of convincing Daniel to go somewhere else for dinner, but he was already chatting with the waitress so she had no choice but to follow.

Rose sighed, maybe Luisa wouldn’t notice her and she and Daniel could just have a nice meal and then leave.

‘Professor!’ a very familiar voice called out as they walked past. Causing her to turn around.

‘Miss Alver, Miss Price,’ Rose greeted. She didn’t know the names of the other two women at the table, but being certain they didn’t take her class, she didn’t feel too bad about it.

‘We’re not in the lecture hall, professor,’ Luisa grinned. ‘Luisa will do.’

They hadn’t seen each other since Thursday night after they broke off whatever it was they had. And Rose had expected Luisa to still be angry with her, but it seemed Luisa had reverted back to casually flirting.

‘I guess you can call me Rose then,’ she smiled, watching Luisa’s smile get bigger.

‘What brings you to this lonely diner on a Saturday night?’ Luisa asked, grinning widely.

The answer to that question presented itself in the form of Daniel siding up to her.

Luisa’s grin faltered for a second, and if Rose hadn’t been intently watching her, she would have missed the flash of anger crossing Luisa’s features.

‘Daniel, these are some of my students, Miss…’ Luisa glared at her. ‘Luisa Alver, Samantha Price and some of their friends. This is Daniel, my…’

‘Better half,’ Daniel finished for her. His eyes resting on Luisa.

‘I think we’ve met…’ he said thoughtfully.

‘We have,’ Luisa smiled. ‘You keep infringing on my time with the professor here. Twice now,’ Luisa said.

‘Right! Of course. Sorry for that,’ he grinned, awkwardly putting his arm around Rose’s middle.

‘Would you like to come sit with us?’ Samantha asked.

Both Rose and Luisa looked her at her like she had lost her mind, but before either of them could say something Daniel had already accepted.

‘That sounds like fun,’ Daniel smiled. ‘It seems only right you get to usurp some of my time with Rose after I so rudely interrupted yours.’

Rose bit the inside of her lip. Daniel still had no idea what exactly he had interrupted, what Luisa was really referring to. He hadn’t questioned why she was still with a student an hour after her office hours, he had just accepted it. Like he accepted everything. And she wasn’t going to tell him otherwise.

‘Come sit,’ he said, patting the space next to him on the red vinyl seat of the booth.

Rose, not having any other choice, sat down. The seating arrangements putting her directly across from Luisa.

Luisa smiled unhappily at her, neither of them thrilled with this development but no longer able to do anything about it.

The other two girls introduced themselves as Tamara and Ashley.

As it turned out, Daniel and Tamara knew each other as Tamara had taken one of Daniel’s classes last year.

Rose listened as the group introduced themselves. Ashley and Samantha were both med students like Luisa, and Tamara did something Rose hadn’t caught in the tornado of conversation. But she and Daniel were animatedly chatting about it.

She tried to pay attention but then felt her phone buzz in her pocket, alerting her she’d received a text. She had fully intended to ignore it until Luisa softly kicked her against her shin.

Rose questioningly narrowed her eyes, not sure what Luisa was getting at, until the brunette looked down for a moment and when she looked up again, Rose felt her phone buzz for the second time. _Oh_. So it was Luisa texting her.

She quickly slid her phone out of her pocket and read the two new messages.

Luisa @ 7:39 PM  
What are you doing here?

Luisa @ 7:39 PM  
You look nice by the btw. Didn’t know you owned a pair of jeans.

Rose looked up at Luisa to gauge her intent, but Luisa wasn’t looking at her anymore. Just dragging her fries through a pile of ketchup, trying to appear interested in whatever Daniel and her friends were talking about it.

As she typed her response, she took a little time to figure out how much she should include Daniel in the story. Luisa obviously didn’t like him, which she could understand, but there was really no way to leave him out.

Rose @ 7:41 PM  
I was out with Daniel. Apparently, he used to eat here all the time as a student. And for your information, I own plenty of jeans and other casual clothes. You look nice too.

Luisa flashed her a quick smile as she felt her mobile buzz in her lap, looking back down to reply.

Luisa @ 7:42 PM  
Cheap, greasy food to soak up all the alcohol we’ll be consuming later. Not really the place to take a date, don’t you think?

Rose sighed as she read Luisa’s response, deciding not to respond to the taunt.

Luisa @ 7:42 PM  
None of my business, I know. And I would love to see you in something casual. Not that I don’t like your tailored slacks and skirts. Those are VERY nice too. Just something less uptight would be nice.

Rose @ 7:43 PM  
Did you just call me uptight?

No one else at the table had yet noticed the modern version of passing notes going on between the two of them. And Rose didn’t think they would catch on anytime soon.

Luisa @ 7:43 PM  
No, I would never. But I am always afraid of damaging your expensive clothes when I take them off you. So it would save time if you dressed more casually. And of course your ass in skinny jeans is phenomenal.

Rose looked up at Luisa then, trying to hide the blush that was suddenly coloring her cheeks. Luisa hadn’t used the past tense.

Luisa met her eyes and then winked, making Rose blush even harder.

Rose wasn’t sure what was happening right now. Luisa was obviously flirting, but the brunette had been angry Thursday evening that she had picked Daniel over her. So why do this? Just to fluster her? But if that was all Luisa was after, she wouldn’t do it via text. She’d just verbally flirt with Rose so everyone at the table could hear. So in order to understand, Rose just asked.

Rose @ 7:45 PM  
What are you doing?

Luisa @ 7:45 PM  
I thought that was obvious. I’m flirting with you.

Rose looked back up at Luisa. This was not the moment to have a conversation about what happened between them on Thursday, about what had changed for Luisa since then. And text was definitely not the medium to it, so Rose pushed that thought to the side and decided that for tonight it was enough to just enjoy it. For once not to question why and trust Luisa. They could always talk about that later when there were less people around.

Rose @ 7:47 PM  
Your flirting involved calling me uptight. I had to make sure.

Luisa @ 7:47 PM  
It’s called negging and it obviously working. It never hurts to loosen up a little ;)

Rose had to bite back a laugh, kicking Luisa softly under the table.

Luisa gasped slightly as if Rose’s actions had shocked and hurt her.

Luisa @ 7:47 PM  
Did you just kick me?

Rose @ 7:48 PM  
No

She kicked Luisa softly again.

Luisa @ 7:49 PM  
Yes, you did! I can’t believe this. That’s no way to woo a girl!

Rose smirked slightly. She knew of a way to woo a girl. She slipped off one of her heels and ran her foot up Luisa’s bare leg.

Luisa froze for a moment and then started furiously typing on her phone.

Luisa @ 7:50 PM  
Stop that.

Rose smiled at her, still running her foot up and down Luisa’s leg, quietly pushing the hem of the brunette’s dress higher up her thighs.

Rose @ 7:50 PM  
You wanted to be wooed. I’m doing my part.

Luisa shifted slightly in her chair, throwing Rose a warning glare before typing something on her phone. Luisa always seemed to enjoying flustering Rose, but on the rare occasions that Rose managed to turn the tables on her, Luisa blushed really fast.

Luisa @ 7:51 PM  
That’s not wooing, that’s teasing.

Rose just smiled at her, nudging Luisa’s hand with her foot.

The other people at the table had long ceased to exist. It was just the two of them now. The two of them and this silent back-and-forth they had found themselves in.

Luisa, desperately trying to gain back some control, ran two of her fingers up Rose’s ankle. Up and down. Up and down. Drawing whirls and spirals, drawing unidentifiable patterns. Trying to touch her as much as possible without alerting anyone to what was going on underneath the table.

Their phones lay abandoned for the moment, both of them content to just touch. To tease the other.

Luisa winked at Rose again, starting to massage her calf through her jeans.

Rose almost whined at the loss when Luisa pulled her hands away and picked her phone back up. She had no idea what Luisa was typing, but she had wanted the massage to continue a little longer.

Luisa @ 7:57 PM  
I want you. I want to get you out of these clothes and I want to run my hands all over your body. I want to touch you everywhere, except where you want me to touch you. Where you need me to touch you.

Rose swallowed, reading the message twice to make sure she had memorized every word. But before she could respond, her phone buzzed again.

Luisa @ 7:58 PM  
I would back you up against the nearest wall, kneel down in front of you and look up to the see the lust swirling in your eyes. Only then I would hook your leg over my shoulder and start eating you out.

The much more graphic and detailed message sent blood rushing two places: up to color her cheeks a bright red and much, much lower which had her cross her legs to relieve some of the pressure.

Rose turned her phone face down, determined not to read the next couple of messages because she knew Luisa would only take this further.

But her phone kept buzzing and Luisa kept grinning at her; she only had so much willpower.

Just as she was about to give in and read the messages, a hand landed on her thigh and she nearly jumped ten feet in the air.

‘You’ve been lighting up all evening,’ Daniel said, squeezing her thigh before pulling his hand back. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Oh,’ Rose said, hoping her voice wasn’t as breathy as it sounded to her own ears. ‘It is an obnoxious application sending me alerts for something. I just turned it off,’ she smiled, giving Luisa a pointed look before turning back to Daniel.

‘Is that’s what’s gotten your attention all evening? Candy Crush?’

Luisa kicked her underneath the table.

‘Yes, sorry, that game is just so addicting.’ In truth, Rose had only downloaded it to make Daniel feel better about himself and his Candy Crush addiction. She had yet to get past level three herself.

Rose kicked Luisa back a little harder and smiled serenely as Luisa rubbed her shin.

‘Have you figured out what you wanted to eat yet, babe?’ Daniel asked.

Rose only now realized that they had been sitting there for nearly thirty minutes without ordering anything.

‘You should have the cheeseburger and a cherry milkshake,’ Luisa said. ‘Best thing to eat on the menu.’

The grin accompanying that last statement made it very clear to Rose that Luisa would rather talk about some other eating that might occur later that evening if she managed to ditch Daniel.

‘No way! The chocolate shake is much, much better,’ Daniel said, stretching out so his arm was around Rose’s shoulder.

‘Maybe when you were young,’ Luisa said, still smiling but it had gotten a little strained. ‘It is basically all sugar now.’

‘That’s the best part,’ Daniel said, showing off his boyish grin, which was meant to charm Luisa and make her see his ways. Only Daniel had no idea that was impossible for so many reasons.

‘Besides,’ Luisa continued, completely ignoring Daniel and his smile, ‘Rose looks more like a cherry than a chocolate kind of woman.’

‘She likes chocolate more than cherry,’ Daniel smiled smugly, looking expectantly over at Rose.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, this had just become about a whole lot more than milkshakes.

On their first date, Daniel had bought her a slice of chocolate cake as dessert, and Luisa had managed to seduce her with cherries all those weeks ago. And in Luisa’s favor, Rose had always been more of a cherry girl.

‘I think I’ll go with cherry. Sorry babe,’ Rose said when Daniel started pouting.

‘Told you so!’ Luisa said, smugly leaning back in her seat, arms folded across her chest.

‘You’re going to regret that decision,’ Daniel warned as he waved over the waitress and ordered for them.

‘I doubt it,’ Luisa murmured, earning her another kick under the table from Rose.

They chatted amicably for the ten minutes it took their food to arrive. Luisa and Daniel still playfully arguing about milkshakes.

Once the food was served, everyone at the table stared at her while she took a sip of her cherry milkshake.

‘What?’ she said, playing oblivious.

‘What do you think?’ Luisa asked, smiling widely. ‘Good?’

‘It’s good,’ Rose said, unable to keep her own smile from showing.

‘But is it better than this?’ Daniel said, offering Rose his own chocolate milkshake.

Rose hadn’t meant to, but as soon as she sickeningly sweet, thick mixture touched her tongue she pulled a face.

‘Ha! I win! Pay up!’ Luisa said, slamming her fist on the table so the silverware rattled.

Rose had been unaware that a bet had been placed, and didn’t believe Luisa was actually being serious until Daniel grumbling pulled a $20 out of his wallet and handed it over.

‘The first round of shots is on you tonight, professor!’ Tamara exclaimed happily as Luisa slipped the money into her pocket.

‘You bet on the outcome of this?’

‘Hey, if you believe why not put money on it?’ Luisa grinned.

‘I can’t believe you betrayed me like this,’ Daniel said to Rose, shaking his head, making Luisa smile even wider.

Rose, not knowing what to say, popped the cherry decorating her milkshake into her mouth.

Luisa raised one eyebrow as she watched Rose, obviously experiencing some flashbacks.

Rose smiled, tying the cherry stem with her tongue before covertly pulling it out of her mouth to show Luisa.

Luisa’s eyes were sparkling and she took out her phone and started to type out another message.

‘We should probably get going soon,’ Tamara said suddenly. ‘Leave the two professor alone on their date.’

‘It’s still early,’ Luisa said. ‘Nothing good will be open yet.’

‘Then we go do a few shots at a bar first, come on!’ Ashley said, pushing against Luisa to get her to stand up.

‘Eh,’ Luisa shrugged. ‘You go; I’m not feeling great.’ She looked at Rose while she said it, smiling slightly.

Her friends all looked at her strangely until Luisa pulled out the twenty Daniel had given her plus a few other bills. ‘Go spend my winnings wisely,’ she said, handing the bills over.

‘Alright, your loss,’ her friends shrugged.

‘Feel better!’ Ashley said before following the other girls out.

‘I’ll see you around, professor,’ she said to Rose. ‘ _Enjoy_ the rest of your evening.’

As soon as Luisa left the restaurant, Rose felt her phone buzz.

Luisa @ 8:26 PM  
If you manage to ditch chocolate boy, I’ll be waiting.

Followed by a dorm building and room number.

Rose sighed quietly, uncertain of what to do. But then her eye fell on the texts she had ignored earlier.

Luisa @ 7:59 PM  
And you’d tangle your hands in my hair, pulling as I fuck you with my tongue. You’d moan my name and whimper as I hit every spot inside of you just right, making your knees weak. You’d beg me to give you more, always more.

Luisa @ 8:00 PM  
I’d smile up at you and grin, watching your chest heave and flush before pulling away, making you groan and plead at the loss. I’d kiss the inside of your thighs, lick and suck the soft skin there before moving my mouth back to your sex to suck your clit into my mouth. Flicking it with my tongue.

Luisa @ 8:01 PM  
I’d fuck you with my fingers, feeling your arousal drip down my wrist as I speed up, your taste filling my mouth as I watch you come. As I make you come. Over and over again until you collapse into my arms and I carry you to bed to do it all over again.

Well, that certainly decided her next course of action.

* * *

During the remainder of her meal with Daniel, Rose tried to swallow down her arousal but it was no use. Luisa really knew what she was doing and the images her mind her construed at Luisa’s words wouldn’t leave her alone.

So when Daniel asked her to come over after they’d left the diner, she made up some excuse about having a lot of work to do this weekend and needing to get a head start on things.

Daniel reluctantly gave in, kissing her goodnight before they went their separate ways. He to his house and Rose towards a dorm building.

Before she even entered, Rose had come up with 100 excuses for why she would be in a dorm building. But as she wandered through the hallways looking for Luisa’s room, she didn’t encounter a single person. She should have realized that a building full of college students should be abandoned on a Saturday night.

Eventually, she found Luisa’s room and within second of her knock, the door was thrown open and the very welcome sight of Luisa in a low-cut blue dress greeted her.

‘I wasn’t sure you would show up,’ was all she said before pulling Rose inside and kissing her deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for those of you who thought at the beginning "she isn't really going to do this right?" I'm sorry, and I didn't. Can't just break them up after one chapter of actually being together!
> 
> Also, as some of you probably know but I keep forgetting to tell people, I have started a twitter @WhenTheCanon so you can follow me there as well. I plan on doing sneak peeks of my writing on there, so definitely follow me if you're interested!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and comments would be really appreciated. I would love to know what you all like so I can do it again, and what you don't so I will definitely do it again! (Just kidding, I value your input a great deal)
> 
> See you next week!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after this week, I thought you would all be okay with it if I skipped the sex scenes. (They will be back next week, promise.) So instead of sex, we have drama. Because what is a student/professor fic without a bunch of angst to keep it interesting?
> 
> This chapter gives us a look into the things Rose and Luisa are dealing with on their own. And for some reason it got quite heavy, so a warning for alcohol abuse and internalized homophobia. 
> 
> Enjoy? (That does not sound right after what I just told you...)

Luisa smiled as she watched Rose breath evenly next to her. After everything, they had once again ended up in bed together.

Luisa hadn’t been expecting that at all after their talk Thursday. _Talk_ was probably too strong a word for it. They hadn’t talked. At all. They had both just accepted it without a moments thought. And Luisa didn’t know what that meant exactly, but she had the feeling it wasn’t good. But that didn’t matter now. Right now Rose was sleeping peacefully next to her.

She stared at Rose for a little while longer, reaching out to lightly brush a tangled curl off the sleeping woman’s face. After that night at the bar, she never thought they could have this again. It was a one-night stand, by very definition a one-time thing. And even after, their time together had always been quick and rushed. But now, now she’d finally had the time to make Rose orgasm over and over again, and hours after that Rose was still here, sleeping next to her in her bed.

She smiled as she thought about that particular change and picked up her laptop; she couldn’t really sleep and she still had that paper to write.

A couple of hundred words later, Rose woke up, turning onto her side to face Luisa.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, her voice rough from sleep.

‘Writing you a paper,’ Luisa smiled, leaning over to kiss Rose softly on the lips.

‘Mhh,’ Rose smiled. ‘That’s nice of you.’

‘It is, isn’t it?’ Luisa grinned as Rose sidled up to her, resting her head in the crook of Luisa’s elbow as she read a couple of lines displayed on the screen.

‘Wikipedia is not a source,’ Rose said, kissing the skin of Luisa’s stomach softly.

‘I know that,’ Luisa said, rolling her eyes. ‘I am using it to orient myself.’

‘As long as I don’t find it in your bibliography,’ Rose yawned, wrapping her arms around Luisa’s waist. ‘Why are you awake?’

‘Couldn’t sleep,’ Luisa shrugged. ‘And I thought I should really get started on this paper.’

‘There’s a typo in that sentence,’ Rose pointed out.

‘You are not supposed to be grading this yet,’ Luisa said, tilting her laptop until Rose was no longer able to read from the screen. ‘It is a work in progress. And I would have an unfair advantage if you helped me write it. And I am not sleeping with you to get an A in ethics.’

‘So why are you sleeping with me?’ Rose purred, drawing random patterns on Luisa’s stomach, making Luisa shiver slightly.

‘Because you are really hot, and just _watching_ you turns me on,’ Luisa grinned, slamming her laptop closed and putting it on the ground. She would have time to write her paper later, right now, she had more important business to attend to. Well, not business, _pleasure_.

* * *

‘Shouldn’t you have a roommate?’ Rose asked, her skin still flushed and her hair plastered to her forehead as she lay panting on the pillow next to Luisa.

Luisa took a moment to find her voice. ‘Should, yes.’

‘What happened to her?’ Rose asked, her fingers starting to dance up Luisa’s sides.

‘I killed her,’ Luisa grinned.

Rose raised an eyebrow and glared at her.

‘She didn’t show up,’ Luisa shrugged. ‘I didn’t go after it. I kind of like having the whole room to myself. Besides, double bed,’ she said, throwing her arms to the side, narrowly avoiding hitting Rose in the face.

Rose smiled and pushed Luisa’s arm down, kissing her wrist.

‘Do you feel like sleeping now?’ she purred, resting her head on Luisa’s shoulder.

Luisa shrugged. Still not really tired. ‘I am kind of hungry,’ Luisa said. ‘Too much physical activity.’

Rose rolled her eyes. ‘I am starting to think you never sleep.’

‘I don’t. Unless I got really drunk the night before, then I sleep like a coma patient,’ Luisa grinned, getting up out of the bed.

Her back was turned so she didn’t see Rose’s slight frown.

‘Do you want some ramen?’ Luisa asked, filling one of the plastic cups with water and popping it in the microwave. ‘I have shrimp and chicken.’

‘Do you have anything else?’ Rose asked.

‘Nope, just noodles,’ Luisa said, her eyes firmly focused on Rose’s breasts as the sheet had slipped down her body.

Rose saw her looking but did nothing to cover up, still slightly concerned for Luisa’s health. ‘So what do you eat?’

‘Out, usually. Or noodles.’ Not in the mood to make Rose’s question into an innuendo.

‘When is the last time you had a vegetable?’

Luisa frowned as she thought back. ‘There was lettuce on my cheeseburger Thursday,’ she said with a guilty grin.

Rose looked so affronted by the news Luisa had to laugh.

‘How do you not have a vitamin deficiency?’ Rose sighed, eyeing Luisa up and down in a more concerned manner than Luisa was used to.

To hide her discomfort, Luisa turned around and retrieved her ramen from the microwave, blowing softly on the surface as she searched around for a fork. When she turned back around and Rose was still looking at her with concern she decided to deflect it with a joke.

‘Well, I’m a med-student, I know the bare minimum of nutrients I should get into my body to survive. I am an adult, I can take care of myself. Besides, you are not my mother.’

‘No, I am your professor,’ Rose said, starting to grin and failing to hide it.

‘I knew you got off on that,’ Luisa grinned, sitting down next to Rose as she threw the flavor packet onto her noodles.

‘I do not get off on that,’ Rose said defensively. ‘This is the first time I have slept with a student.’

‘How about sleeping with a professor? I am sure Harvard has its fair share of hot professors walking around. Male or female,’ Luisa added, carefully watching Rose expression. But the redhead either had a great poker-face or the implication Luisa’s statement had didn’t faze her.

‘I have never slept with a professor while I was still a student,’ Rose said, taking the fork from Luisa and eating a bite of ramen.

‘I don’t believe you,’ Luisa sing-songed.

‘Is this shrimp?’ Rose said as she swallowed her mouthful.

‘Chicken and don’t try to change the subject,’ Luisa said. ‘I need a name, Rose.’

‘I didn’t,’ Rose said calmly, only making Luisa more suspicious.

‘Liar,’ Luisa said, narrowing her eyes as she watched Rose for any sign of nervousness. ‘You’re way too good at the whole sneaking around thing.’

‘You don’t only learn that from sleeping with your professor,’ Rose said, something in her voice not quite right. Trying to cover it up by taking another bite of Luisa’s noodles.

Luisa frowned, not understanding why Rose was being so secretive.

‘Who did you sleep with?’ Luisa asked.

‘No one,’ Rose said, sounding suspiciously calm. Almost forcefully calm. Like it was taking a lot of control

‘But you just said!’ Luisa yelled, holding the food out of Rose’s reach.

‘Give me that,’ Rose said, reaching for the cup of ramen but coming up short.

‘No! Tell me who you slept with or make your own.’

To her surprise Rose actually got out of bed and started making her own cup of noodles without saying a word.

‘How secret was this?’ Luisa said, suddenly realizing that she had touched upon a sensitive subject for Rose.

‘Very,’ Rose said, her voice a little strained.

Luisa decided to change the subject herself, she did not want to ruin this night by bringing up something that so visibly made Rose uncomfortable.

* * *

Luisa was woken the following morning, not by a pounding headache but by someone pressing soft kisses up her spine.

‘Hey,’ Luisa said groggily as turned around.

‘Hey you,’ Rose whispered back. She looked ethereal in the early morning sunlight, the warm glow softening her features and making her hair burn like fire.

‘What time is it?’ Luisa asked, rubbing her eyes.

‘Six,’ Rose said, making Luisa groan and burry her head in the pillow. ‘Too early.’

‘I was thinking I should probably get going,’ Rose whispered, nuzzling Luisa’s hair softly. ‘And I didn’t want to just disappear on you.’

‘Why do you have to go,’ Luisa muttered, throwing her arms around Rose’s shoulders and hugging her closer to her, not wanting to let her go.

‘Because I am in your building, which is filled with students. Someone might recognize me and put two and two together.’

‘It’s a Sunday morning in a building filled with students. These hallways are empty until at least eleven ‘o clock.’

‘Can’t risk it,’ Rose said.

‘Fine,’ Luisa growled. ‘At least shower with me then.’

‘It would be my pleasure,’ Rose smiled.

‘It will be,’ Luisa muttered as she followed Rose into the bathroom.

‘Luisa?’ Rose asked as she pulled back the shower curtain. ‘Why is there an empty bottle of vodka in your shower?’

‘Because it used to be a full bottle of vodka.’

Rose’s frown remained but she didn’t ask any further questions, just putting the bottle down in the sink.

* * *

‘Here,’ Luisa said, throwing Rose a hoodie. ‘No one will spare you a second glance if you put on a college hoody and pull the hood over your head. They’ll just think you’re stumbling home after a night of drinking and sex.’

‘Sex was definitely involved,’ Rose grinned. ‘Thank you for letting me stay,’ she said as she pulled the hoody over her head.

‘Thank you for coming over,’ Luisa said, cornering Rose against her wall in order to kiss her one last time.

‘Mmh,’ Rose said as she pulled away. ‘I have to go. How do I look?’

‘Adorable,’ Luisa grinned. Rose really did look cute in her oversized hoodie with her red curls coming out the front of the hood. ‘And unrecognizable,’ she added because she was pretty sure that was what Rose had wanted to hear.

‘Good,’ Rose said, quickly pecking Luisa on the lips again.

‘We’ll text,’ Luisa grinned.

‘You better work on that paper!’ Rose said, trying to be stern but failing to look it due to her outfit.

‘Nah, I am pretty sure I can convince the professor to give me an extension. She likes me.’

‘I know exactly how you spend your weekends so none of your excuses are going to work on me,’ Rose said before disappearing through the door with a wave of her hand

* * *

Rose gave Luisa a furtive smile as the brunette proudly handed over her completed paper that Monday morning.

Luisa sending her pictures all of Sunday in which Luisa was basically doing everything _but_ writing her paper.

‘Thank you, miss Alver,’ Rose said as she put the paper in her bag. ‘I’m sure it will be an entertaining read.’

‘Oh, it will be, _professor_ ,’ Luisa said before sauntering off to take her seat.

Rose decided to ignore that comment and smiled to herself as she started her lecture. She knew that even in class Luisa didn’t like it when she called her “Miss Alver”, which, of course, was exactly why she did it. Luisa was a pro at teasing her, but that didn’t mean Rose couldn’t do it back.

* * *

Rose bit her lip as she said behind her desk at home, eyeing Luisa’s paper on top of the stack she was supposed to grade. So far she’d had no trouble with not favoring Luisa above her other students, but she had the feeling that was about to get a lot harder.

She was curious to read what Luisa had written, mostly thanks to Luisa’s comment that it would be _entertaining._ But if she read Luisa’s first, without any others to compare it to, she might judge her unfairly harsh or favorable. It was safer to leave Luisa’s paper until the end. But Alver was the alphabetical first, so not reading Luisa’s paper first would mean she _was_ giving her special treatment.

Rose sighed, she guessed the university guidelines had a point when they said professors shouldn’t have personal relationships with their students. It was very hard to remain objective.

Sighing, she picked up Luisa’s paper and started reading. Just hoping she could be objective.

* * *

Rose didn’t know what she had expected from Luisa’s paper, but it was not this. For some reason, she had thought Luisa’s paper would allude to their relationship more. Like Luisa did verbally during a lecture. But the paper was serious and very to the point. No double meanings or hidden intentions. It was just a paper on ethics, and quite a good one at that.

Rose groaned, it seemed Luisa could be more objective about their relationship than she could and just written a really good paper. Without listing Wikipedia as a source.

She put Luisa’s paper to the side, deciding to tally up the points after having read all the papers to gauge the overall quality. But she was pretty certain Luisa would end up with an A regardless. It was a very good paper.

* * *

Rose had read about four papers when her doorbell rang. There was only one person it could be and Rose really wasn’t looking forward to seeing him.

‘Daniel, hi,’ Rose said, putting on a faux smile as she opened the door.

‘Hi, babe,’ Daniel said, leaning in for a kiss.

Rose tried to ignore the way his stubble irritated her cheeks, how his lips were rough and how he tasted of stale coffee, but she couldn’t help comparing him to Luisa. And Luisa was far superior to Daniel in every way except one: she could actually _be_ with Daniel.

‘I missed you,’ he said as he pulled away from the kiss. ‘So I brought dinner!’ He grinningly held up a bag of Chinese food. ‘I know how you forget to eat when you’re grading papers.’

‘Thank you,’ Rose said, she’d hoped she would be able to get rid of him quickly by citing the excuse that she had a lot of papers to grade, but it seemed that that was a moot point as he had brought dinner for exactly that reason.

‘I didn’t know you owned a hoodie,’ Daniel said as he looked up at Rose from his place on the couch.

‘Oh,’ Rose said, looking down at her own clothes. She was wearing Luisa’s college hoodie. It was comfortable and warm and it smelled like Luisa so she’d fished it out of the laundry and put it on before she started working. ‘I got cold just sitting at my desk. It’s comfortable,’ she said, hoping that that would put an end to it.

‘Looks good on you,’ Daniel grinned, eyeing her up and down.

And Rose felt her stomach grow cold because she knew the look he was giving her. And she didn’t know if she had it in her to convincingly fake an orgasm tonight.

‘Let’s eat first, okay?’ she said, trying to sound like the idea of sleeping with Daniel didn’t horrify her to her very core.

She knew she didn’t love him; she knew she could never grow to love him. Luisa had been right when she called her on it. She was only with him because he approached at a bar when she had been just drunk enough to say yes to him. And afterwards it was just easier to be with him. Easier to live a lie than face a truth she had avoided facing for nearly 15 years now.

And as she watched Luisa, who was so open about who she was and who she loved, she wondered why she couldn’t just be like that. Why she couldn’t open her mouth and say the word that had been yelled at her so viciously that one summer 14 years ago.

She hated hiding it, hated it. But it had gotten so ingrained in who she was. She would flirt with men, be with men. But sometimes, when it all got too much, she would drive out of the city and go to a bar to pick up a woman. Always far away from where she lived, from where her life was, like it was something shameful. Something she needed to hide from everyone who knew her.

The first time she had done it she had been surprised at her own boldness, about how well she seemed to fit in there. How freeing it was to just be herself. But that feeling never lasted long enough to overpower the intense fear that had been imbedded into her from an early age: that she couldn’t have that. That she _shouldn’t_ have that.

‘Are you okay?’ Daniel asked after Rose had been staring into space for a few minutes, saying nothing.

Rose shook off the thought, picking up her dinner. ‘Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s eat. I’m starving.’

* * *

Rose stared unblinkingly at the hoodie crumpled up on the floor by her bed. She tried to roll over, to stop looking at it, but Daniel’s too heavy arm around her waist was making that impossible.

She lifted Daniel’s arm and slipped out of bed. She couldn’t stay in this room. Not now. She tightened her robe around her waist until the belt dug almost painfully into her skin. She felt the need to cover up. She itched to take a shower but the noise would surely wake Daniel and that was the last thing she wanted.

 _He’s nice_. _You like him_. She reminded herself. And that was exactly the problem, she had to _remind_ herself off the fact that she liked Daniel. While it just came naturally with Luisa.

She frowned and picked Luisa’s hoodie off the ground. She couldn’t leave it on her bedroom floor next to their other discarded clothes. She couldn’t leave it so close to Daniel. She brought it to her nose to smell it, but the Luisa’s scent was gone form the suddenly less soft fabric. Instead it smelt like Daniel’s aftershave.

Rose bit her tongue: she didn’t cry. She hadn’t cried in years. But suddenly felt the need to. Her life was a mess and she had all the tools to fix it, she just couldn’t use them. And it made her feel weak and powerless.

She bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing. Trying to think about anything but the man in her bedroom and the woman she’d wanted to be there instead.

Once she’d calmed down a bit, she sat down at her desk. She couldn’t go back to bed, that was impossible right now. So instead she broke out a pen and started correcting papers. She had to do something with her time.

* * *

When Daniel found her the next morning, she’d read all of them, going through them a second time to put an actual grade on it.

‘Have you been up long?’ he asked, kissing her on the cheek.

‘A little while,’ Rose lied. She wasn’t going to tell him she hadn’t had a minute of sleep.

‘Want some eggs?’ Daniel asked.

‘Yes, please,’ Rose smiled. Her mask firmly back in place.

* * *

Luisa chewed on her bottom lip as she stood in front of the closed office door, wishing she could have a drink right now. Alcohol always helped to calm her down and make her bolder so she could do things she did not want to do. And right now, she wasn’t sure she wanted to walk through this door.

 _Screw it._ She told herself. It was Rose’s office, she’d been inside dozens of times, there was no reason she couldn’t go in now. It was just Rose. _Just Rose_. She repeated to herself. And that was exactly the problem.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, looking up from her computer in surprise, it was a little early for their usual visits. ‘Come in.’

Luisa walked in, closing the door behind her but not locking it. That wasn’t what she was here for today.

‘I want to talk about my grade,’ Luisa said, holding her slightly crumpled paper out to Rose.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ Rose asked, raising an eyebrow, obviously not understanding.

‘It’s an A,’ Luisa said.

‘Yes? Where you shooting for an A+?’ Rose joked.

‘No, I- I just need to know if it is because we’re sleeping together,’ Luisa said, feeling like she was accusing Rose of something.

‘Do you think it is?’ Rose asked, getting up from behind her desk and walking over to where Luisa was stiffly standing. ‘Because I told you, no preferential treatment. I am not endangering either of our careers any more by doing that. So no, it is not because we are sleeping together. And if you don’t believe me, the papers are graded twice. Another teacher thought you deserved an A as well. It was just a really good paper. It has nothing to do with the fact I get to see you naked.’

Luisa felt the uneasy feeling she’d had melt away as she listened to Rose.

‘Why did you think I had?’ Rose asked, putting her hand on Luisa’s shoulder.

‘I don’t- I don’t know,’ Luisa said truthfully. ‘ I have been accused of getting hand-outs my whole life. My father’s rich. If I wanted, I could do what my brother does and drop out of college and live of my inheritance for the rest of my life. But I don’t want that. I want to prove that I can achieve things without his help. It is sort of a sensitive issue for me. So, I just needed to be sure I deserved this A.’

‘Well, you did. Best paper I’ve read in a while,’ Rose smiled.

‘Good,’ Luisa said, her smile turning into a grin. ‘So…’ she said, letting the sentence trail off suggestively. Now she knew Rose hadn’t played favorites, there was no reason not to do this. Rose did look very nice today, after all.

‘Yes?’ Rose said, trailing her hand down Luisa’s arm to her waist.

‘Want to celebrate my A?’ Luisa continued.

‘I think we better lock the door before we do that,’ Rose grinned.

‘Of course,’ Luisa grinned breaking free form Rose’s grip to lock the door, finding herself being pressed against the hard within seconds of the lock clicking shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very curious to find out what you think about this chapter, they way I have written things (especially emotions) and where this fic is heading. So please leave feedback. This was quite a difficult chapter for me to write so it would mean a lot. 
> 
> Regardless, thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday, and thanks to all your awesome support, I have managed to finish this chapter just in time. So thank you so much!
> 
> And as I promised last week, this chapter does have smut. So enjoy!

Luisa had trouble hiding her grin as she walked through the hallways of the law faculty’s building. It was very early in the morning and normally she would still be in bed, trying to get more than three hours of sleep. She definitely wouldn’t be smiling like she was right now if she was forced to get up this early. But she had a plan, and that combined with a large coffee were enough to get her out of bed.

She walked up to Rose’s office. She knew from experience that Rose usually arrived at her office before 8 to go over her lecture. Not that she needed any more preparation, which was exactly why Luisa’s plan was to repurpose that hour before class started for something more useful.

After a quick rap of her knuckles on the solid wood, Rose called her in.

‘Good morning, professor,’ Luisa greeted cheerily.

‘Luisa?’ Rose said, looking up in surprise, obviously not having expected the brunette to come knocking this early.

‘I thought coffee might be more appropriate than an apple,’ Luisa said, presenting the second cup of coffee to Rose with a flourish.

A warm smile lit up Rose’s beautiful face as she gratefully accepted the offering of caffeine.

‘Thank you, I haven’t had any coffee yet today,’ Rose said as she took off the lid and blew softly on the surface before taking a sip.

‘You’re welcome,’ Luisa smiled, putting her own coffee down before slowly advancing on Rose, pulling her in with one hand on her hip and one hand on the back of her neck.

Rose tasted of toothpaste and coffee, it was an intoxicating combination on her and soon the slow, lazy kiss in greeting got a more arousing purpose.

‘I hadn’t yet had that today either,’ Rose said, a little breathless as she pulled away. Her hands slowly falling away from Luisa’s shoulders, settling on her waist.

‘Good,’ Luisa whispered against Rose’s neck. Her lips ghosting over the soft, smooth and sensitive skin, feeling every rushed breath Rose took. ‘We have some time before class starts…’ she husked, pressing light kisses against the underside of Rose’s jaw, making the older woman shudder.

‘Is- Is that why you came here?’ Rose asked, tilting her head up to allow Luisa better access.

‘Mmmhmm,’ Luisa hummed, turning the two of them slightly so the redhead was backed up against the side of her desk. ‘I woke up this morning, thinking about you…’ she trailed off, reaching up to pull the clip out of Rose’s hair, letting her beautiful hair tumble freely around her shoulders. ‘About how much I wanted you. What I would do to you if I had you in my bed.’

‘What would you have done to me?’ Rose asked, her chest already heaving slightly as Luisa continued to tease her with soft kisses and touches.

‘Patience,’ Luisa husked, nipping at Rose’s earlobe, making the redhead whimper. ‘I was getting to that.’ She reached up and tucked twin silky curls of hair behind Rose’s ears, looking into Rose’s darkened blue eyes.

Rose nodded, her fingers curling around the edge of the desk as Luisa started undoing the first couple of buttons of Rose’s blouse.

‘If you _had_ been in my bed,’ Luisa breathed, ‘I would have kissed you awake. Slowly, softly, until you were kissing me back. Then I would have pushed you onto your back and straddled your hips.’ She pushed Rose’s now undone blouse off her shoulders, her fingers dancing teasingly across the pale skin, connecting delicate freckles together in complicated patterns.

Rose swallowed, tilting her head backwards in response to Luisa’s actions.

‘I would have made you feel how turned on I already was. Tell you how just looking at you does that to me.’ She started kissing down Rose’s chest, moving around the cups of her bra down to her stomach until she was kneeling in front of her; Rose subconsciously spreading her legs wider.

Luisa bowed her head, hiding her smile. With one hand she located the zipper on the side of Rose’s skirt, pulling it down teasingly as her other hand reached for her bag.

In one practiced move, she pulled Rose’s skirt and underwear down, leaving the redhead only in her black pumps and bra.

‘Luisa, please,’ Rose whimpered as Luisa ran one hand slowly up Rose’s legs.

‘Don’t worry,’ Luisa said, pressing a kiss to Rose’s hipbone. ‘I am going to fuck you, very soon.’ She got back up, retrieving the most important object of her plan from her bag. Dangling it in front of Rose’s face by one of the thin straps.

Rose gasped, her eyes growing even darker as surprise and recognition flitted across her face.

Luisa had first brought the strap-on out when Rose stayed the night at her place, wanting to have her hands free to do other things as they had sex. They had both more than enjoyed it, but the toy had yet to make a reappearance as there had been an absence of beds in their sex life in the past two weeks. But Luisa didn’t want to wait any longer, so she had decided that bending Rose over her desk and taking her with a strap-on was a goal worth pursuing.

‘Can I?’ Luisa asked, needing to be sure Rose was okay with this development before proceeding.

Rose nodded eagerly, helping Luisa out of her shorts so she could put the harness on.

Luisa grinned as the last buckled clicked into place; Rose hadn’t spoken since she had brought out the toy. She’d just watched her with lust-filled eyes, her chest heaving and her mouth gaping open slightly.

Luisa stepped forward, pressing herself against Rose, the toy hard between their bodies.

Rose gasped, her nails digging into Luisa’s skin as she curled her hands tightly around Luisa’s shoulders.

‘I’m going to bend you over your desk and fuck you as, hard. At 8 in the morning, an hour before you’re supposed to teach me about ethics. Is that okay?’ Luisa grinned, she couldn’t help poke fun at their situation.

‘Yes, very. Just, _hurry_ ,’ Rose breathed, her hands moving down to Luisa’s ass, pulling her even closer.

‘Yes, _professor_ ,’ Luisa purred, spinning Rose around and pressing her flat onto the desk with a firm hand between her shoulder blades.

Rose gasped and Luisa admired her lover for a second before she got rid of Rose’s final piece of clothing: her bra.

She trailed her hand down Rose’s spine, skimming down over her ass to stroke the outside of her thighs before moving her hands back up the inside.

Rose shuddered lightly as Luisa ran her fingers through Rose’s folds, gathering arousal to coat the silicon shaft standing proudly between her legs with. She repeated this action a of couple times until the dildo was shining wetly in the fluorescent lighting of the office.

‘Lu, please,’ Rose begged.

Normally, Luisa would have remarked upon the use of the shortened version of her name, but they were under a slight time restraint and Rose probably hadn’t realized what she’d said anyway.

‘Alright,’ Luisa grinned, running one hand soothingly up Rose’s back as she slowly entered her.

Rose let out a low moan, clamping her own hand over her mouth to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard.

Luisa pressed in all the way, pausing for a moment to let Rose get used to size before slowly starting to pull out again.

She thrust back in faster than before, upping the tempo as Rose moaned and bit back screams.

‘You like this?’ Luisa asked with a smile, knowing from the sounds Rose was making she was indeed enjoying this quite a lot.

‘Faster,’ Rose panted. ‘Don’t stop.’

Luisa had no intention of stopping any time soon, but she obliged with Rose’s wishes, speeding up her thrusts even more until with every push of her hips, the muscles underneath Rose’s skin rippled.

‘God, you’re beautiful,’ Luisa growled, moving her free hands up from Rose’s hips to the side of her breasts, pulling her up off the desk a little so Rose had to support herself on her arms.

‘Fuck,’ Rose moaned as this cause the angle to change slightly and Luisa was suddenly pushing much deeper inside of her.

Luisa noticed this but didn’t slow down her pace. Instead, she started playing with Rose’s breasts, tweaking and pinching rock-hard nipples as she continued to fuck her.

‘Lu, make me come. Please,’ Rose said, her breathing ragged and her muscles already starting to tense.

‘A little longer, babe,’ Luisa whispered back hotly.

The straps of the harness were rubbing against her clit in a very stimulating way, but she wasn’t quite there yet. And as they didn’t really have the time right now to go for a second round, her plan was to come together.

She leaned close to Rose, pressing her front against her lover’s back as she sped up her thrusts a little more.

‘I’m so close,’ Rose panted, her muscles straining. Her moans near continuous thanks to the fast pace Luisa had set. 

‘So am I,’ Luisa moaned, moving one hand down from Rose’s breasts to in between her legs, circling her clit as she pushed into her one last time.

‘Fuuuck,’ Rose moaned, throwing her head back as her orgasm washed over her. All her muscles locking up and her breath catching in her throat for what felt like an eternity.

Seeing Rose like this was enough to send Luisa over the edge as well; a white hot fire coursing through her veins as her eyes fell shut. She stood still for a second and then collapsed against Rose, feeling Rose’s equally hot skin stick against her own.

It took them a few minutes of silent panting to recover. Luisa then carefully pulled out of Rose and letting the harness drop to the floor before spinning Rose back around and pulling her into a languid kiss.

This had been fun, but she enjoyed looking at Rose when they had sex. Loved seeing her try so hard to hold back her moans, loved seeing the blissful expressions flit across her face as she got closer and closer to orgasm.

‘That was great,’ Rose smiled as she pulled away from the kiss.

‘Mmhh, it was,’ Luisa smiled, brushing a lock of red hair away from Rose’s face. ‘And I have great timing because we have 15 minutes left before we have to had to class.

Rose laughed, kissing Luisa quickly before maneuvering out from underneath Luisa and starting to gather her discarded clothes.

Luisa smiled and leaned back against the desk, watching Rose as she bent over to retrieve her skirt.

‘Aren’t you going to get dressed?’ Rose asked as Luisa had made no effort to move from her place on Rose’s desk, languidly sipping now cold coffee.

‘Not yet,’ Luisa grinned. ‘I like watching you. And besides, I only have to put my pants back on.’

‘You’re not great at that,’ Rose joked as she stepped back into her skirt.

Luisa gasped, faux-hurt by Rose’s accusation. ‘Not true! You are just very skilled at getting me back out of them.’

Rose laughed and threw Luisa’s pants at her. ‘Get dressed, you have a class soon.’

Luisa rolled her eyes put slipped back into her pants and put her shoes back on. She’d picked the harness up off the ground as well when another idea struck her.

‘Rose look,’ she grinned before licking from the base of the toy all the way to the top.

‘God, I hate you,’ Rose groaned as she watched Luisa exaggeratedly lick the dildo clean.

‘No, you don’t,’ Luisa smiled widely, picking something up off Rose’s desk and slipping it into her back pocket as she sauntered over to where Rose was standing.

‘You might want to touch up your lipstick before you leave,’ Luisa grinned, pressing Rose back against the wall and going in for another heated kiss, making Rose taste herself on her tongue.

‘Go,’ Rose said after Luisa pulled away. ‘Or you’re going to be late for class.’

‘Yes, professor,’ Luisa grinned, pecking Rose on the lips one last time before carefully making her way out of the office, Rose’s underwear burning a hole in her back pocket.

* * *

Rose entered the class five minutes after Luisa, immediately locking eyes with the brunette and starting to glare at her.

So Rose _had_ noticed the missing underwear after all.

To everyone else, Rose looked perfectly normal and was hiding whatever emotions she was feeling about wearing a skirt and no panties behind her expert poker face. But Luisa _knew_ Rose and could see that the professor was not amused by being forced to go commando underneath her tight skirt.

Luisa winked at Rose as another glare was aimed her way. She was planning on giving Rose her underwear back after the class, but for now she just enjoyed the mental image of what was going on underneath Rose’s skirt.

After two hours of being on the receiving end of Rose’s death stare, Luisa was waiting nervously for the rest of the students to leave, no longer as cocky as she’d been when she’d taken the panties. She had taken them because she thought it would be funny and not a real inconvenience, but during the lecture she had stared to get the feeling she might have been wrong about that.

Rose was busy gathering her papers as Luisa approached her desk.

‘Rose?’ Luisa asked, deciding that this was not the moment to tease Rose any more than she already had.

‘You have something that doesn’t belong to you,’ Rose said, looking up, her face unreadable.

‘Yes, sorry,’ Luisa said, looking around to make sure they were alone before dropping the black thong in Rose’s outstretched hand.

Rose put the underwear in her bag before looking back up at Luisa, a small smile playing around her lips.

Luisa suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders; it seemed Rose wasn’t angry with her after all.

‘I thought I had pissed you off,’ Luisa said, smiling nervously.

‘Oh, I am not angry,’ Rose grinned. ‘Let’s just say that if I was wearing underwear right now, it would have been soaked. There is something very arousing about not wearing any,’ Rose husked, mindlessly drawing patterns on the inside of Luisa’s wrist.

Luisa swallowed, feeling arousal start to pool between her legs at Rose’s words.

‘But that doesn’t mean I am letting you off easy,’ Rose said, pulling her hand back and picking up her bag, starting to walk away.

‘Rose. Rose!’ Luisa called out, jogging after her to catch up. ‘What does that mean?’

‘You’ll see,’ Rose said. ‘I’ll see you tonight. I’ll text you the address.’ She grinned at her over her shoulder as Luisa stood motionless in the middle of the hallway.

Luisa blinked and tried to get her thoughts back under control; she had no idea what Rose’s revenge was going to be, but she was looking forward to it.

* * *

At exactly 7 PM, Luisa stood in front of Rose’s apartment, holding a bottle of wine as she waited for Rose to open the door. Excited about the possibilities the night held.

‘Luisa, hi. Come in,’ Rose greeted as she opened the door, pecking her quickly on the lips before stepping aside and allowing Luisa entrance to her home.

‘You’re wearing my hoodie,’ Luisa smiled, taking in Rose’s casual outfit; jeans and her own college hoodie. Her hair was down and her glasses were pushed up into her hair. Luisa was once again reminded of how phenomenal Rose’s ass was in tight jeans. The redhead should really wear them more often…

‘You’re not getting it back,’ Rose said matter-of-factly as she closed the door behind Luisa. ‘See it as part of my revenge,’ she grinned.

Luisa laughed. ‘It looks better on you anyway.’ She followed Rose around the stylishly decorated apartment. ‘So can I ask what the rest of the revenge is going to entail? Just so I can be prepared?’

‘You can ask but I won’t answer,’ Rose said with a smile. ‘You didn’t warn me, so I am not going to warn you.’

‘That seems fair,’ Luisa smiled. ‘I got you something to hopefully make up for me stealing your underwear.’

‘Thank you,’ Rose said as she accepted the bottle of wine, momentarily looking at Luisa with the same concern she’d shown her weeks ago in her dorm room. ‘Have you eaten?’ she asked, her concerned frown making way for a warm smile.

Luisa tilted her head; this was not at all going like she had expected. She had envisioned more handcuffs and less clothes in Rose’s revenge scenario. But that might just be how she would have done it.

Luisa opened her mouth to speak but Rose cut her off before she could even say one word.

‘And ramen do not count.’

‘Then no, I haven’t eaten yet,’ Luisa smiled.

‘Good, because it will be ready in a few minutes,’ Rose said.

‘Do you want me to open the bottle of wine?’ Luisa asked.

‘It’s a white, it doesn’t really go with the food.’

Luisa laughed. ‘Nobody cares about that. Where’s your corkscrew?’

Rose stepped forward, putting her hand on Luisa’s in a soft touch. ‘Let’s not drink tonight, okay? I’m not really in the mood.’

Luisa stared at her, at Rose’s warm smile, her kind eyes and the concerned furrow between her brows. ‘Okay,’ Luisa nodded. She had been drinking a lot lately. Maybe one night of not drinking to give her liver a break wasn’t such a bad idea.

‘Let’s sit,’ Rose said, guiding Luisa to the living room with a soft hand on the small of her back.

‘You have a very nice apartment,’ Luisa complimented. It _was_ nice and the furniture was stylish and obviously expensive; there just weren’t a lot of personal touches. The bookshelves were filled with heavy books and Luisa spotted Rose’s workbag on the floor by her desk, but there were no pictures anywhere. Just a couple of framed paintings, nothing betraying anything of the life Rose lived outside of work or the people in it.

‘Thank you,’ Rose said, sitting down on the couch and patting the space next to her.

‘How long have you lived here?’ Luisa asked as she sat down next to Rose. The couch had plenty of space, but they were sitting so close together their thighs still touched.

‘A couple of years,’ Rose answered, resting her head on Luisa’s shoulder.

So a recent move wasn’t the reason the apartment felt sterile, impersonal. More a house than a home.

Luisa nodded in acknowledgement of Rose’s answer, wrapping her arm around Rose’s shoulder, pulling her even closer together.

It surprised Luisa how comfortable this was, just sitting close to Rose, not doing anything else, just enjoying the contact. Not even needing to talk.

But at the same time, it made Luisa nervous. Because what she and Rose had wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were just supposed to have a casual fling: just sex, no feelings.

Luisa had begun to realize that “no feelings” had been thrown out of the window a long time ago. She _did_ have feelings for Rose, and it bothered her a little that she couldn’t talk about them with Rose. Because while Rose might feel the same way, they could never act on them any more than they already had. Because Rose had a boyfriend and she was still her professor.

Luisa contemplation and the quiet between them was disrupted by the electronic beeping of an oven timer.

‘Dinner’s ready,’ Rose said, freeing herself from Luisa’s embrace and walking back towards the kitchen, leaving Luisa to follow.

‘That’s smells incredible,’ Luisa said as she walked into the kitchen. ‘What is it?’

‘A vegetable lasagna,’ Rose said, putting the steaming dish down on the middle of the table.

‘Are you trying to feed me vegetables?’ Luisa laughed, pulling open one of Rose’s cabinets and grabbing two plates.

‘That was part of my revenge plan, yes,’ Rose laughed, reaching around Luisa to pick up two glasses.

Luisa froze as the utter domesticity of the scene washed over her and she realized she could never have this with Rose. Not always, anyway. She might be able to steal a night like this away from Dennis or whatever his name was again in the future. But Rose would never be hers, they would never be able to do this all the time. And that’s when it struck her, all these feelings she’d been having: she was in love with Rose.

She shouldn’t be, but she was. She wanted this domesticity of shared meals in Rose’s kitchen forever. She had kidded herself into thinking she just wanted the sex, but she didn’t; she wanted everything. She wanted late night conversations, and good morning kisses. Spending late nights on the couch watching crap on TV with her legs in Rose’s lap. She just wanted a real relationship with Rose, not this poor imitation of one.

‘I- I can’t do this,’ Luisa mumbled, the plates falling from her numb fingers and shattering on the countertop.

‘Luisa!’ Rose yelled after her, the broken ceramic shards scrunching underneath Luisa’s shoes as she made her way out of the kitchen and towards the front door, tears burning in her eyes.

‘Luisa wait!’ Rose yelled, reaching the front door at the same time as Luisa and forcing it back shut.

‘Let me go!’ Luisa said desperately, not meeting Rose’s eyes, not wanting to cry in front of her.

‘No. Tell me what just happened. Why can’t you do this? Why are you trying to leave?’ Rose asked. ‘I am not going to poison you with my cooking as revenge if that’s what you are thinking. I was just concerned about your eating habits so I thought I would cook something for you. That’s all.’

‘That’s all?!’ Luisa laughed unhappily. ‘No one has cooked anything for me since I was six years old, Rose! No one!’

‘Luisa, look at me,’ Rose said, forcing Luisa’s chin up so she’d look her in the eyes. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Nothing!’ Luisa yelled, watching hurt flash across Rose’s face, but she couldn’t tell her she loved her. It wasn’t fair to either of them. Because they had no future together. And the sooner they realized that, the better. ‘Now let me go.’

Rose dropped her hand, leaving Luisa free to go, but for some reason Luisa couldn’t get her feet to move. She didn’t want to leave, but she knew she had to.

‘I’m sorry. For whatever I did to cause this. I’m sorry, Luisa,’ Rose said, her voice painfully sincere.

‘You did nothing, and that’s exactly the point,’ Luisa bit out before storming through the door and into the night. She didn’t know exactly where she was going, but she knew there would definitely be alcohol involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are very much appreciated and really motivate me to write, especially since I am going back to college next week and my free time is about to disappear. So please consider leaving one if you liked it!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little later than usual, so I am sorry for that. 
> 
> After running from Rose, Luisa is spiraling out of control, so warning for serious alcohol abuse in this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy, I guess.

Rose blinked blearily as she dialed Luisa’s number again. She doubted the brunette would pick up; she hadn’t answered her 10 earlier calls. Or the 20 texts Rose had sent her since Luisa stormed out of her apartment the night before.

It was 6 AM now, and after a couple of fitful hours of sleep, her worrying had finally gotten the better of her and she had given up and trying to sleep. Having had the faint hope that Luisa might have called back or left a text. But her notifications were worryingly empty.

She didn’t know if Luisa was just ignoring her or if something had happened to her. She was still trying to figure out what exactly had caused Luisa to leave in the first place, exclaiming that she “couldn’t do this”.

Rose walked into her kitchen, the shards of the broken plate still littering the floor. She bent down and started to gingerly pick them up one by one, trying to come up with an explanation for Luisa’s sudden departure.

She had replayed the conversation they’d had that night a thousand times now. But she still couldn’t find anything she had said or done that lead to Luisa storming out of her apartment before even eating a bite of dinner.

Her cooking wasn’t _that_ terrible and she doubted Luisa’s hate of vegetables ran so deep that she had to physically flee when they were served.

Rose just didn’t understand. The evening had been nice, comfortable. They had been laughing and there had been plenty of casual touching; it had just been nice. So why had Luisa left?

She sighed as she threw the broken plate into the garbage, picking up a broom and sweeping up the finer dust. Her worry not leaving her.

Something had happened last night that had greatly upset Luisa. And she might not know what it was, but she wasn’t going to let this end here. Luisa had said she did nothing and that _that_ was exactly the problem. So she wasn’t going to do nothing again. She wasn’t going to give up on Luisa like this. Not like she had before, when she had just let Luisa walk out without another worth. She wasn’t going to let that happen again.

It wasn’t only because she didn’t want this thing she had with Luisa to end yet. She was also seriously worried about the younger woman. Luisa was drinking _a lot_. More than average even for a college student. And Rose was starting to suspect it had become more of a coping mechanism than just a simple way to unwind after a long day attending lectures for Luisa.

Rose suspected that after Luisa’s sudden outburst, a lot of coping had been required. And she was worried that Luisa might have gotten herself in trouble after so suddenly storming out on her. She was more worried than she should probably be about a grown woman who could definitely take care of herself.

She threw on the first thing she found and grabbed her keys; if Luisa wasn’t responding to her texts, she was just going to have to check up on her in person. Because she couldn’t really go into work not knowing if Luisa was okay or not.

* * *

It was still relatively early, so the hallways of Luisa’s building were empty. But just to be sure, Rose had pulled the hood of the hoodie over her head and was wearing shades.

She knocked on Luisa’s door and listened for any signs of activity on the other side. But there was nothing to indicate anyone was there. Which didn’t ease her fears.

‘Luisa, please. I know I am probably the last person you want to see right now. But I need to know if you are okay. Please, open the door.’ Her plea was supported by a couple more knocks on the painted wood, but she was only met by silence.

She ground her teeth. What if Luisa hadn’t come home at all? There were so many things that could have happened to her.

‘Luisa, where are you?’ Rose whispered to herself as she took out her phone. Hoping to either hear Luisa’s phone ring on the other side of the door so she would know Luisa had at least gotten home okay. Or that Luisa might actually pick up so they could talk about what happened last night.

But as she called, the dial tone switched to voicemail, without hearing any sounds coming from Luisa’s room. Meaning it was very likely Luisa hadn’t returned home at all.

‘Dammit, Luisa,’ Rose sighed, her jaw set as she tried to determine what she should do next. Luisa either was ignoring her on purpose, or she wasn’t picking up for some unrelated reason. Either way, calling seemed to be a dead end and as she had no idea where Luisa usually went when she went out, it was pretty much impossible to find her. She could probably wait here for the brunette to return home. But as the sun slowly started to rise, the chance she would be recognized by one of the students living in the building grew. And despite her worry for Luisa, that was a risk she could not take.

She turned around, putting her hands in the front pocket of the hoodie, only now noticing that it was Luisa’s hoodie that she had picked up off her bedroom floor.

As she turned the corner, she bumped into someone, almost sending them to ground.

Rose caught them by the arm, but as soon as she let go, the person nearly collapsed to the ground again.

‘Fuck, everything is spinning,’ the woman slurred.

Rose didn’t know if she was supposed to be relieved or even more concerned, but she had just found Luisa.

‘Oh god, Luisa. What did you do?’ Rose asked as she shouldered most of Luisa’s weight and started walking back to Luisa’s room.

‘Roooose! Rosssse,’ Luisa slurred as she recognized the woman in front of her. ‘I want out for a drink. Well, maybe a couple,’ she giggled, obviously not concerned that her own legs were barely working.

‘Yeah, I figured,’ Rose said, taking in Luisa’s disheveled appearance and messy hair. ‘How did you get home?’

‘Cab. I think. I don’t know. But it was _fuuuun_.’

‘Do you still have your keys?’ Rose asked, Luisa slumping against the wall as Rose let go of her.

‘Yeah, one moment…’ Luisa said, trying real hard to focus her eyes as she stood up on the tips of her toes. Immediately starting to sway again.

‘Okay, let me get that for you,’ Rose said, steadying Luisa as she reached up and retrieved the key from the ledge above her door.

‘Thaaaank you,’ Luisa laughed. ‘You’re the best. I luvvv you,’ she said, wrapping her arms around Rose’s neck and sloppily kissing her on the cheek.

Rose wrapped her arm tightly around Luisa’s waist and half dragged, half carried her inside. The brunette obviously had no idea what she was doing. Because this behavior was very incongruent with Luisa running out of her apartment hours earlier.

She dropped Luisa on the couch, her head immediately flopping back and her eyes closing.

Rose closed the door and immediately looked back at Luisa. She was relieved Luisa was okay. Well, relatively okay. She was still drunk of her ass. At 6 in the morning…

‘I feel nauseous,’ Luisa said, her head slumping forwards.

‘Okay, into the bathroom with you,’ Rose said, pulling Luisa to her feet and supporting most of her weight as they stumbled into the bathroom.

Luisa immediately collapsing onto her knees and starting to dry heave above the toilet.

Rose gathered Luisa’s hair and rubbed her back as the brunette threw up the contents of her stomach. Which seemed to be entirely liquid.

‘What are you doing, Luisa?’ Rose whispered as she helped Luisa stand up, bringing her to the sink to rinse her mouth. But the only container available in the bathroom was an empty bottle of vodka.

But it seemed Luisa hadn’t needed one as she just stuck her whole head underneath the faucet and drank greedily.

Rose handed her a towel and led Luisa back to her bed, taking off her shoes and positioning her on her side in case any more alcohol decided to leave Luisa’s system the quick way.

‘How are you feeling?’ Rose asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed, stroking a wet lock of hair from Luisa’s face.

‘Drunk. So drunk,’ Luisa sighed, her eyes falling closed.

‘Then sleep,’ Rose said softly. She couldn’t leave now. Not while Luisa was this drunk and obviously in need of support.

‘I am sleepy,’ Luisa yawned.

Rose knew she shouldn’t ask this, that she wouldn’t get a straight answer out of Luisa in this state, but she wanted to know. And selfishly she thought that maybe the alcohol would make Luisa more talkative or honest.

‘Why did you leave last night?’ Rose asked, stroking Luisa’s hair.

‘I can’t say. It’s not fair,’ Luisa slurred, somehow sounding sad even through the haze of alcohol.

‘It probably isn’t,’ Rose sighed. ‘Go sleep, I will be here when you wake up.’

Luisa didn’t say anything, already fast asleep.

Rose checked the time, it was still early, but pretty late for someone trying to sleep it off. Rose’s first lecture was in the afternoon, so she had some time before she needed to go home and change. She just hoped it would be enough.

She watched Luisa sleep for a little while. Glad she had come over, because Luisa was so drunk something bad might have happened to her even in the safety of her own home.

After a couple minutes, when she was certain Luisa was fast asleep, she got up off the side of the bed.

She hadn’t brought anything with her, but she had some idea what she could do to pass the time…

* * *

Luisa woke up with a foul taste in her mouth and her head feeling like it was filled with pointy rocks.

She turned and groaned into her pillow.

‘You’re awake,’ someone said. But the voice was garbled thanks to the pillow over her head so she hadn’t recognized it.

Luisa cursed into her pillow as she turned her very painful head to the side so she could see who was in her room. If that was where she was.

She remembered nothing from last night. Her mind one big blank from pretty much the moment she stormed out of Rose’s house.

Luisa blinked against the harsh light as her eyes focused on the silhouette. She really hoped she hadn’t brought a girl home. She might want to get over Rose, but a one-night stand she didn’t even remember the very same night was probably not the way to go.

‘Take this,’ the woman said, her voice vaguely familiar.

Luisa felt two tablets being pushed into her hand. She mechanically swallowed them, washing them down with a sip of water the hazy figure also offered her.

Trying to ignore the headache pounding in her skull, she forced her eyes open further. Finally recognizing the woman crouched next to her.

‘Rose?’ she croaked, her voice nearly gone. ‘Why are you here.’

What had happened last night, Luisa thought. She had run away from Rose, obviously consumed a lot of alcohol and now Rose was here. How had that happened?

‘I was worried about you,’ Rose said softly. ‘You didn’t respond to my texts.’

‘So you came over?’ Luisa groaned. She didn’t want Rose here. She didn’t want Rose to worry about her. She just wanted a clean break to get over her. Was that too much to ask?

‘Yes, and it was probably for the best too,’ Rose said, stroking a lock of hair away from Luisa’s face. ‘You were really quite drunk.’

‘I must have been, this is one _hell_ of a hangover,’ Luisa growled. ‘I don’t remember _anything_.’

‘You have to stop drinking, Luisa,’ Rose said softly, her brows worried together. ‘It’s getting out of hand.’

‘Just because I got drunk last night?’ Luisa said, trying to push herself into a sitting position, but falling back onto her pillow as the pounding in her head got stronger and made her stomach lurch in protest.

‘No, because there are 21 empty vodka bottles in your room, Luisa,’ Rose said, motioning to the neatly arranged glass bottles behind her. There were really quite a lot of them when you put them all together.

‘I am just terrible at recycling my bottles, so what?’ Luisa said, closing her eyes again.

‘There are _21_ bottles, Luisa. Classes started 3 months ago. That is more than bottle a week. Nearly two. That looks like an unhealthy dependency on alcohol.’

‘What are you saying, Rose?’ Luisa asked sharply, ignoring her ever growing headache. She didn’t like where this was going.

‘That you’re an alcoholic,’ Rose said calmly.

‘Bullshit,’ Luisa called out. ‘I can stop whenever I want. I just like to drink. That doesn’t make me an alcoholic.’

‘Then stop. Because I am worried about you.’

‘Why? You don’t care about me. You just like fucking me,’ Luisa bit out, turning onto her other side so she didn’t have to look at Rose.

‘I do care about you, Luisa. Not only because we have sex,’ Rose said, putting her hand on Luisa’s shoulder.

Sure, Luisa thought, shaking Rose’s hand off of her. That’s why you refuse to break up with your boyfriend? She thought miserably.

‘That’s complicated, you know that,’ Rose said, making Luisa realize she had spoken that last part out loud.

‘Fuck that, Rose. It is not complicated. You either love him or you don’t. And if you don’t, you break up with him, you don’t sleep around on him with a student.’

‘And you don’t drink two bottles of vodka a week if you do not have an alcohol problem,’ Rose shot back.

‘I am not an alcoholic,’ Luisa hissed. ‘And if you think that, you can just fuck off.’

‘Luisa, please. I want to help.’

‘I told you I can’t do this with you,’ Luisa said, that part of last night very clear in her mind. The only feeling she could recall even more clearly was the incredible feeling of belonging she’d felt as she sat on Rose’s couch. And then the sinking feeling when she realized she could never actually have that. Not with Rose anyway. ‘So please go.’

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, her voice pleading.

‘Go!’ Luisa said, her own voice ringing in her ears. ‘Don’t you have a class to teach? More students to seduce?’ It was a low blow and she knew it, but she wanted Rose to go, wanted to cry in peace.

‘Fine! But don’t put it on me this time.’ Rose said as she got to her feet. ‘I am trying, Luisa. I know it is not perfect. It is far from perfect. But I am _trying_. So don’t tell me, I did nothing.’

Luisa scoffed. ‘What have you done exactly? You put some empty bottles on a table and accused me of being an alcoholic.’

‘I offered to help you. But you’re too stubborn to take it.’

‘I don’t need your help. I don’t need your pity. Just go. This is over,’ Luisa said, fighting to hold back her tears.

‘Fine. Thank you for being so clear with me. I’ll go now. Have fun drinking yourself to death.’

‘Have fun fucking your boyfriend. Give him my regards. He’s in a relationship with a spineless bitch.’

‘Goodbye, Luisa,’ Rose yelled angrily as she threw the hoodie at Luisa’s head.

‘Goodbye, _professor_ ,’ Luisa bit out, burying her face in the pillow as Rose slammed the door closed behind her.

Luisa screamed silently. This was not at all how she had wanted this to go. To some degree she had meant what she’d said. She was upset Rose was still with her boyfriend, but the headache had made her needlessly bitchy. Because the fact that Rose cared about her, that was what made Luisa really want to cry. Because she was a loner. And being cared about was a foreign concept to her.

But she had definitely screwed that up with Rose now. Just as well, Luisa thought. She just had to get over Rose, and it would probably be easier to do that if Rose hated her.

* * *

Rose chewed on the inside of her cheek in frustration. She had _not_ handled that well. At all. Instead of offering Luisa the help and support she so obviously needed. She had yelled at her and only made matters worse.

She should have never had this discussion with a hungover Luisa. She had been too irritable to listen to reason, and Rose should have realized that before bringing up such a sensitive topic.

Her jaw was clamped shut tightly as she gripped the steering wheel with more force than necessary. How had she ever let herself get so involved with Luisa?

She was a _student_ , 5 years her junior and she already _had_ a boyfriend. So how had she let Luisa worm her way under her skin. How had she allowed that to happen?

She didn’t have an answer to that question. At least not an answer she could face.

She still didn’t know why Luisa had stormed out on her the previous night. If she had to guess, it probably had something to do with Daniel. But now she would probably never know.

It was probably for the best. They hadn’t been caught yet, and every day they continued this affair the chance got bigger and bigger. They should quit while they were ahead, and now Luisa had made that choice for them.

So while Rose knew it was probably for the best, the thought that it was now really over between the two of them was a little upsetting.

She liked Luisa, a lot. She was everything Daniel wasn’t. And Rose loved her for it.

The thought struck her suddenly: she loved Luisa. That was how Luisa had gotten under her skin so fast, why Rose cared so much about Luisa, and why she had ignored the risks and continued with this affair. She was in love. For the first time in 14 years she was actually in love.

And as soon as she realized that she loved Luisa, she also realized that she would never get to tell Luisa that. What they had was over. For good. Luisa had made that very clear.

Rose took a deep breath, the inhale sounding shaky to her own ears. She should just forget about this. So she pushed the thought away and replaced it with another one: if she hurried, she could get a quick shower at home before her first lecture.

* * *

Luisa had thought about skipping the ethics lecture, not really wanting to see Rose. But she wasn’t going to give Rose any more reasons to be “worried” about her. So she took her water bottle out of her bag, taking a large gulp, the alcohol burning familiarly down her throat. A little liquid courage had never hurt anyone.

Rose looked surprised to see her, that crease between her eyebrows getting deeper as she watched Luisa.

Good, Luisa thought. Let her look. Let her know I am doing fine without her.

In all truth, she wasn’t really doing great. She hadn’t gone to any of her classes Friday. Opting instead to stay in bed and try and sleep off her hangover. Sleeping having the added benefit that she didn’t have to think about Rose.

She had gone out again that evening and hadn’t returned to her dorm room until early Monday. Crashing at her friend’s place the rest of the weekend. Because when she came home, Rose’s presence lingered there somehow.

It was ridiculous. Rose had only been there twice. And yet, for some reason, it was easier to forget about Rose when she was out drinking.

So that’s what she had done. She refused to acknowledge the terribly irony in the fact that Rose had called her an alcoholic and the first thing she did when Rose had gone was go out and drink more.

When she had returned home that morning, she had gathered up all the empty bottles around her room, throwing them down the trash chute and listening to them shatter two floors below her.

It had been fun, one less reminder of Rose’s presence in her room. She had wanted to throw the hoodie down after the bottles, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to do that yet. So instead of down the trash chute she had thrown it in the back of her closet, hoping to forget about it that way.

* * *

Rose tried not to, but just like they had always done, her eyes drifted over to Luisa during the lecture that Monday morning.

She wasn’t actually surprised that Luisa had shown up, she was more surprised by how terrible Luisa looked. The brunette looked even worse than how she had left her Friday. The circles under her eyes darker and her shoulders slumped.

Rose felt a pang of guilt, Luisa had obviously been out drinking, and Rose knew it had to do with her.

So throughout the lecture her eyes kept landing on Luisa, looking at her for a couple of seconds before moving on again. Taking in every little details about Luisa.

She could tell something wasn’t right, but Luisa had made it very clear that she didn’t want her help.

But when the lecture ended and she saw Luisa stumble as she got to her feet, her eyes screwing closed as she swayed dangerously on her feet. Rose no longer cared about what Luisa wanted.

‘Miss Alver?’ she asked as she approached Luisa, the brunette looking at her with indifference.

‘Yes, _professor_?’ Luisa said, her words a little labored, like it was taking more effort than usual to pronounce them clearly. ‘I see we’re back to miss Alver now, keeping it professional. For the first time,’ Luisa bit out.

Now Rose was standing closer, she could clearly smell the alcohol on Luisa’s breath. The discovery shocked her. She had expected Luisa to be hungover and probably sleep deprived. But to see her actually _drunk_ at eleven am on a Monday was jarring. And suddenly Rose felt guilty for leaving Luisa alone Friday. She was obviously in much more trouble than Rose had initially thought.

‘You’re drunk,’ Rose said, grabbing Luisa by the elbow before she could trip down the stairs.

‘None of your business,’ Luisa said, angrily pulling free from Rose’s grip.

‘It is my business if you’re _drunk_ in my class.’

‘Whatever,’ Luisa muttered.

‘My office, now,’ Rose said, she had to do something about this. Luisa might not want to be with her, that didn’t mean she couldn’t make Luisa listen to her. Because she couldn’t continue this way. Someone had to make her see reason.

‘No thanks,’ Luisa said. ‘I’m good for now.’

‘It was not a question,’ Rose said.

‘I don’t need you, Rose. There’s nothing wrong with me. I am _fine_.’

‘You are not fine. And I understand that you might not want to hear this, especially from me. But you have a serious problem. And it is only going to get worse. You need to stop drinking and you will need help.’

‘Whatever,’ Luisa said, waving over her shoulder as she walked towards the door.

‘Luisa, I will report you to the dean. And you will get suspended unless you come with me now.’

‘You wouldn’t do that. You have nothing on me,’ Luisa said as she turned to look at Rose.

‘I am pretty sure there’s vodka in that bottle of water you are carrying with you. Which is against university rules.’

Luisa squinted. ‘Fine, just tell me what you want.’

‘I want you to let me help you…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked it and that I handled the topic well. 
> 
> Comments are always welcome, positive or negative. 
> 
> See you next week when we will find out when Rose's plan is to help Luisa. Thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I am late, I had a not so great couple of days writing-wise. And this chapter just wasn't cooperating at all. I am still not certain if I actually like it or not, so I will just let you be the judge of that.
> 
> Enjoy!

‘I do not need any help. Least of all yours,’ Luisa slurred as she flopped down onto the couch in Rose’s office, crossing her arms and pointedly not meeting Rose’s gaze.

‘I understand that I am probably not the ideal person to help you with this. Given our _relationship_ ,’ Rose said, not knowing what else to call it.

Luisa scoffed, only now meeting her eyes and raising an eyebrow.

‘This is not a relationship.’ She motioned between the two of them. ‘This is… I don’t know what this is. But for a relationship you need commitment, and you are already committed to someone else. What you and _Dylan_ have is a relationship. We have nothing.’

‘Daniel,’ Rose corrected automatically. She still wasn’t sure if Luisa just genuinely couldn’t remember his name or if she was just messing with her. Both were possible, but in Luisa’s inebriated state, she was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. ‘And you’re right. What we have is not a relationship, but I do care about you, Luisa.’ You have no idea how much, Rose thought.

It hurt her to see Luisa like this, so out of control. And it wasn’t made any better by the fact that she was most likely the cause. And if she wasn’t, she was definitely not helping matters.

‘You don’t care about me,’ Luisa sneered,

‘I really do,’ Rose sighed. Telling Luisa why would only make things worse. Because while she might love Luisa, that changed nothing about their situation. But she did really need Luisa to listen to her. She was not going to let Luisa drink herself into the hospital or worse. So she just had to convince the stubborn brunette some other way. ‘Which is why I want to help you. You need _somebody_ to help you. And I don’t see anyone else bothered by your behavior.’

‘That’s because you do not know me!’ Luisa bit out, her voice echoing loudly through the empty space of the office. ‘You know nothing about me except what I look like naked. And I do not have a drinking problem!’

Rose sighed, why did Luisa have to be so frustrating? ‘Fine, you do not think that being drunk in class at 11AM is a problem? You do not think that filling your water bottle with vodka to get through one of my lecture indicates that you might have a problem with drinking? Or the 21 empty vodka bottles in your apartment? Although I am sure that number has gone up after this weekend. Or the fact that you just ran out on me without explanation, got hammered and threw it all up hours later? None of that seems like a problem to you?!’ Rose had raised her voice during her little speech. She hadn’t meant to, but it had happened. She was seriously concerned and Luisa wasn’t listening.

Luisa narrowed her eyes and clenched her jaw. ‘I have it under control,’ she ground out.

‘No! No, you do not!’ Rose said, more like yelled. ‘Luisa,’ she started, turning around trying to gain some composure. Yelling at Luisa wasn’t really the way to go about this. ‘Please. Let me help you. I am worried about your drinking and want to help. Let me help you as someone you know privately, let me help as your professor. You _have_ to stop drinking. ‘

Luisa remained stoically silent, not meeting Rose’s eyes.

Rose bit her tongue, there was only so much she could do. If Luisa truly didn’t believe she had a problem, there was not much she could do to convince her otherwise.

‘Please,’ she tried again, nearly begging as she sat down on the couch next to Luisa, softly touching the brunette’s knee. ‘Please let me help you. And if not me, someone else. What you’re doing is dangerous. It could kill you.’

Luisa swallowed, the hostility fading from her features.

‘I think I am going to be sick,’ Luisa said meekly. Turning slightly green.

Rose shot off the couch, grabbing the waste basket just before Luisa started to throw up.

Rose rubbed soft circles on Luisa’s back as she vomited up what was clearly pure vodka.

This was the second time Rose had to hold back Luisa’s hair as she regurgitated what was obviously a liquid breakfast.

The vomiting quickly turned to dry-heaving and eventually stopped completely.

Rose offered Luisa an actual bottle of water and a tissue as she quickly disposed of the trash down the hallway, not wanting to leave Luisa alone for too long.

Luisa’s throat was sore, her stomach upset and her head swimming. Both from the alcohol and the tears rolling down her cheeks in a surprising tempo.

Rose was right. She had already known Rose was right, but sitting here, drunk in her professor’s office really hit that point home. Her drinking had surpassed “normal college student partying” and moved into “unhealthy dependence” territory. And she had sort of known that before Rose pointed it out to her last week. But she just didn’t want to deal with it. She didn’t know _how_ to deal with it.

And it wasn’t like anyone cared, all her friends were the same. She hadn’t seen her father in months and even if she had, she doubted he would care. He never cared until her problems stared to affect him directly. But Rose cared, Rose was _worried_ about her. And it absolutely _sucked_ that Rose was the only person in her life right now that cared. Because Rose shouldn’t care. Rose shouldn’t be there for her. Rose had a boyfriend. Rose was her professor. And Luisa was desperately in love with her. But she knew that for Rose, this wasn’t anything more than just sex.

She groaned softly when the door opened again. She knew that Rose would come back in, of course she would. It was her office after all. But she would have liked a little longer to compose herself.

‘Take these,’ Rose said, holding out the two pink tablets and a bottle of water.

Luisa nodded weakly and swallowed the pills, keeping her head down as not to meet Rose’s eyes. Afraid of what she would see there.

‘Lu,’ Rose started softly.

‘Don’t, don’t call me that,’ Luisa said, her eyes still burning with unshed tears. Rose had called her that only during sex. And right now, it sounded too soft and caring coming from her. And she couldn’t do this with Rose as her girlfriend, because she _wasn’t_. There needed to be a clear divide. Because she couldn’t stop drinking while still entertaining the notion that Rose might love her back. It was too hard. So she needed to put an end to that now. And it would probably be best if Rose didn’t feature into the equation at all, but she couldn’t do this alone. And right now, Rose was the only option.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ Rose said, putting her hand on Luisa’s knee. ‘Will you please let me help?’

Luisa swallowed, nodding her head. ‘I just don’t know how…’

‘We can figure it out together,’ Rose said, squeezing her knee.

Luisa wiped at her cheeks, finally looking up to meet Rose’s eyes. Rose’s blue, brilliant, concerned eyes.

‘Together,’ Luisa said softly. But not _together_ together. Because Rose already had somebody else. Because Rose might be concerned for her safety, it was not for the reason Luisa wished she was.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, neither of them knowing how to continue now Luisa had finally admitted she had a problem.

‘Do you still have alcohol at home?’ Rose asked, breaking the silence.

‘Yeah,’ Luisa said. ‘I should probably get rid of that.’

‘I’ll come with you,’ Rose said.

‘Why?’ Luisa asked, surprised.

‘I meant it when I said together, Luisa. You can’t do this alone, and you don’t have to. Professional help would probably be better…’

‘I am not going to rehab. No!’ Luisa said, jumping up off the couch and crossing the room.

‘Luisa, it would probably be better…’ Rose said gently. Joining Luisa over by the window.

‘I can’t! I have classes,’ Luisa said, crossing her arms as she kept demonstratively staring out of the window.

‘Your health comes before school.’

‘No one can know,’ Luisa said firmly, turning towards Rose.

‘No one will hold it against you. It is much harder to quit while you are also focusing on school, constantly surrounded by people who drink.’

‘ _No one_ can _know_ ,’ Luisa hissed. ‘They will call me another useless rich kid. I am not going to rehab.’

‘What about your family? Could they help?’

Luisa laughed humorlessly, suddenly reminded of how little Rose actually knew about her. They had been screwing for weeks, but had never actually talked about more substantive than what to eat for dinner.

‘No, they can’t help. My father would just shake his head and say I told you so. The only thing he would do to help is lock me in an expensive rehab facility so I don’t tarnish the family name any further.’

Rose didn’t say anything, probably mentally filing away the information of just how screwed up Luisa’s family was. Because honestly, alcohol abuse wouldn’t even make it to the top 5 screwed up things by Solano family standards.

But if Luisa was being honest, she also didn’t want her father to know because she was disappointed in herself. She had tried to turn her back on her father’s life, but in doing so she had only gotten herself in exactly the same trouble as she would have if she had stayed behind. Just for a different reason, and that wasn’t currently something she wanted to be confronted with.

‘You are not a screw-up, Luisa,’ Rose said. Making Luisa question if she could read minds now or if she had spoken her thoughts out loud.

‘Yeah, well. Drinking to avoid having to deal with things sounds like something a screw-up would do to me,’ Luisa bit out.

‘It’s a screwed-up way to deal with things, but that doesn’t make you a screw-up.’

‘Sounds like it does to me,’ Luisa huffed.

‘It doesn’t,’ Rose said firmly. ‘Let’s get you home,’ Rose said, picking up her bag.

‘Don’t you have a class to teach, or something?’

‘No, just office hours. People can email me if they really need something,’ Rose said, scribbling something on a piece of paper and sticking it on her door.

Luisa scoffed as she read Rose’s excuse for her absence. Personal reasons sounded like she had the flu, not that she had to drive a drunk student home at 11AM on a Monday.

‘Are you sure you want to be seen with me?’ Luisa said, not certain why she was being so hostile. Rose was only trying to help. But after all this time they had spent sneaking around, it somehow hurt her that Rose was only _now_ throwing caution to the wind. Because that was part of why she had been drinking so much lately.

Okay, that was not at all fair to Rose. Rose had been very clear with her when they started this. She knew what she was getting into. What she had not known, was that she would fall for the beautiful woman in front of her, and fall hard. And it sucked being a second class citizen. Playing second fiddle to some idiot only because there was some arbitrary rule about professors not dating their students. Even if that didn’t seem the only reason Rose was reluctant to progress past friends with benefits.

And she knew she should have broken up with Rose, that she should have cut all but the professional ties and found herself a girlfriend her own age. But she hadn’t. Because she stupidly wanted to hold on to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Rose would fall for her too, that she would dump the idiot and quit her job so they could be together. All components of that wish were ridiculous, but all three combined were just delusional. Which was exactly why Luisa had sought her solace in alcohol.

‘Yes, because if we are doing this. We are just going to do this as a professional relationship. Maybe as friends. But not in the capacity we had before. That’s not going to help either of us.’

Luisa nodded. That was what she wanted, right? What she needed?

‘Let’s go then,’ she said, following Rose outside.

It was only a twenty-minute walk across campus to her dorm room. But even after having sobered up quite a bit, she was still queasy and unsteady on her feet, so Rose had decided to drive her home instead.

Luisa whistled as she saw Rose’s car.

‘Nice car,’ she said as Rose opened the passenger side door for her, appraising the sleek, black Jag. ‘You must have been one hell of a defense lawyer.’

‘I was alright,’ Rose said, getting in next to Luisa.

‘Yeah, the $100.000 car and the tailored clothes spell “alright” to me,’ Luisa said, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the seat.

Rose didn’t respond, she just carefully drove off in the direction of Luisa’s dorm room. Making sure to take slow down when driving over a speedbump and very gently taking turns.

Luisa was once again curious why the hell Rose had given up being a lawyer to become a teacher. It couldn’t possibly be more rewarding. But Rose had always closed up when she asked her personal things about her life before she became a professor, so she would rather not risk it right now. Because pissing Rose off was most certainly going to lead to more drinking. And she didn’t really want that.

‘If you won’t go to rehab. Would you consider going to AA?’ Rose said, as they waited for a red light.  

‘What? And cry my eyes out in front of a bunch of strangers? No thank you.’

‘It might really help you to talk about it with people who understand, who struggle like you do. Who can help you better than I can.’

‘I don’t need any help. I can stop. I just stopped. I am not drinking again,’ Luisa said more confidently than she felt.

‘It is not that easy, Luisa,’ Rose sighed. ‘You need a support system. And one that is more available to you than I am.’

‘Fine, if I have trouble not drinking I will go to an AA meeting, but only then. I can quit cold turkey. No problem.’

Rose clenched her jaw but didn’t say anything.

Luisa didn’t respond either and closed her eyes for the rest of the five-minute ride. Maybe it was just easier not to crave a drink when she was still drunk. Because as soon as she sobered up the urge to drink returned with a vengeance.

Rose had left her alone after spending an hour cleaning up her apartment and getting rid of all the empty bottles. Luisa had smashed most of them the last time Rose stopped by, but during their search they had found 9 more. And that was really quite concerning. Luisa hadn’t even realized she was drinking this much. It was just something she did and had never really paid attention to before.

But now that she was once again all alone in her room, her drunkenness had made way for what felt like a terrible hangover. And the only thing that sprang to mind to remedy that was to get another drink.

She paced the length of her room, trying to think of something to do in order to distract herself from the irrational craving of alcohol.

After nothing came to her, she collapsed on her bed and pulled out a study book. Might as well make use of the time she had by doing some actual studying.

Only the medical terms didn’t seem to process correctly as her mind was continuously pulling her in another direction; back to drinking.

She slammed the book closed with a sigh. Normally her drinking would never distract her this much. Why was it that now she suddenly _couldn’t_ drink any more the only thing she wanted was to drink? That was some messed up science.

She ground her teeth and stared at the ceiling. She had absolutely nothing to do. It was 4 PM, she couldn’t muster up the concentration needed to study, none of her friends would be available this early and even if they agreed to hang our later they would most likely be drinking. And with how Luisa was feeling now, she would cave as soon as she saw alcohol being poured. So it was better to be a sad loner for the first couple of days. Even if her solitude was not offering a lot of distractions from drinking.

God, why was this so hard? Luisa thought, slamming her fists down on her matrass. It was just alcohol. All she had to was simply not drink.

She hated it, but Rose was right. She really could not do this alone. She needed someone other than herself to be accountable to. And even if that person being Rose was a messy solution, it was better than having no one. But it was far from perfect.

Luisa stood up, walking over to the sink and filling a glass with water. The glass clattered against her teeth as she took a sip. She made herself drink the whole thing, hoping that maybe the feeling of it would reduce the urge to go out and find a bottle of vodka. Or even a beer. But her brain was not that easily fooled and the compulsion remained.

She kicked a pillow before collapsing back onto her bed. This was horrible. She was bored, nauseous and felt a headache start to pound behind her eyes. And this was only 5 hours after her last drink. Which was not at all the longest she had gone without drinking in the last couple of weeks. Not even close. But for some reason the impossibility of having another drink was making her body act up and rebel.

She got up again, laying on bed was just making her more restless (not that the pacing was doing anything to make her feel better).

‘This is ridiculous,’ Luisa muttered to herself. ‘It’s just alcohol. It is not like I am trying to kick heroine or anything. It’s just stupid alcohol.’

She hated that she was this weak; that it was affecting her this much. That all she wanted right now was a fucking drink.

Just as she was about to say screw it and make a run to the liquor store _just to have something to do_ , her phone rang.

‘What?’ Luisa barked into the receiver, not even bothering to check who it was.

‘Okay,’ the familiar voice on the other end said. ‘I guess that answers that question.’

‘What question?’ Luisa said, in a more normal tone of voice as Rose sounded almost as annoyed as she currently felt and it wouldn’t do for the both of them to pissed off.

‘How you were doing. Which is obviously not fine.’

‘What makes you say that?’ Luisa said sarcastically, sitting down on the edge of her bed for the 4th time in 10 minutes.

‘The overall sarcasm in your answers and the fact that your greeting was “what”.’

‘Fine, it is harder than anticipated,’ Luisa sighed. Might as well tell Rose the truth, it at least gave her something to do and something else to focus on. ‘I am bored, I feel like hell and I want a drink. Happy now?’

‘You think I want you to be suffering?’

‘No, maybe. I don’t know what you want, Rose. But you were right. I have a serious problem.’

‘What were you doing before I called?’ Rose asked.

‘Nothing, I can’t focus on anything. I don’t want to do anything.’

‘That’s the withdrawal. Your brain is suddenly functioning without all the alcohol.’

‘I know how withdrawal works. I am a med student, Rose,’ Luisa groaned. ‘It is just annoying as hell.’

‘Come over,’ Rose said. ‘I’ll help take your mind of the drinking.

‘What?’ Luisa said, not in the same annoyed tone as before, more confused now than anything else. ‘I thought you and I were over. That you were just helping we as a professor/friend or whatever.’

‘I am,’ Rose said, sounding just as confused.

‘So friends with benefits or what? It sounded like you just asked me to come over for a booty call.’

‘I did not mean it like that,’ Rose sighed.

‘You said to come over and that you’d take my mind of drinking. That sounds an awful lot like a euphemism for sex.’

‘It was not. My suggestion was going to be that we watch a movie or something. You should not be alone right now.’

‘You don’t trust me to stay away from the bottle?’ Luisa asked, annoyed that Rose thought this little of her self-control. Of course, she had been about to give in just before Rose called. But she was not going to tell her that.

‘Not at all. I am worried about the withdrawal symptoms and I don’t want you to be alone.’

‘I am not that dependent on alcohol that it will get worse than shaking and sweaty palms,’ Luisa said.

‘Luisa…’

‘What, Rose?’ Luisa bit out. She had no idea why she was being so irritable. Rose was only trying to help. She figured it was probably a combination of the withdrawal and the fact that she did not really want to see Rose. Because seeing Rose, especially in a _friend_ capacity was just going to remind her that she could never have Rose. That they could never be more than just friends. And with their professional relationship, even friends was a stretch.

‘If you say you are fine, fine. I believe you. But what are your plans for the rest of the night? Angrily yell at your walls?’

Luisa squinted, she hated that Rose knew that was exactly what she would have been doing if it wasn’t for the call.

‘I am not asking you over to keep an eye on you,’ Rose continued. ‘I am also asking you over because I want to help you, and the best way to do that is to distract you.’

And the best way to do _that_ is to have sex with me, Luisa thought hopelessly. But sleeping with Rose was also the quickest way to get her drinking again. Because it would just be sex. It would _always_ just be sex.

‘Yeah, you’re right. My walls have seen and heard enough lately. I could use a little distraction.’

‘Great, I am picking you up. See you in ten.’

Luisa sighed and hung up her phone. This was going to be a very difficult and _complicated_ recovery. Because everything involving Rose involved _feelings_ , and feelings, especially these feelings, were complicated. And that was even without the drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult chapter for me to write, and I hoped I handled it okay. Because the last thing I want is to romanticize or make light of Luisa's alcoholism (looking at you here JtV) So if it starts to go in that direction, please tell me so I can fix it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hoped you liked it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a little longer, but I finally figured it out. So here you go!
> 
> Another emotional chapter with mentions of alcohol abuse and withdrawal. So please be warned.
> 
> Enjoy

Luisa was stubbornly waiting outside her building, arms crossed tightly to ward off the chill. It wasn’t even dark yet but Luisa was still shivering in the normally warm Miami sun. She refused to go back inside to get a jacket, deciding it would be better to wait outside for Rose’s car to arrive than have Rose go inside and risk getting recognized.

She knew Rose no longer cared about the two of them being seen together as they were not technically sleeping together any more. But it had been less than a week and Luisa would rather not have to explain to her friends why she was hanging out with her ethics professor at 5 in the afternoon.

Both because she would rather not tell them about her drinking yet, possibly ever. And also because she had the irrational hope that she and Rose would end up back in bed together. Regardless of the boyfriend, the drinking and all other things standing in their way. She knew she shouldn’t hold on to that hope. That it was only going to make things worse. But she couldn’t stop. She was _in love_ with Rose, and that wasn’t just going to go away because she wanted it to. And she didn’t want it to.

But she had to, so Luisa pushed those thoughts away as Rose’s sleek black car pulled up in front of her.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she got in.

‘You know this car is hardly inconspicuous, right?’ Luisa said as she climbed into the passenger seat next to Rose.

‘It’s just a car,’ Rose said, driving away in the direction of her apartment.

‘A very expensive car in front of a building with poor students,’ Luisa said, staring straight ahead.

‘It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of the car. I am just a friend.’

Luisa sighed. Friends whose, until recently, only hangouts consisted of having really great sex. But she guessed Rose was right. She needed help, and it would not be very conductive to her recovery if she kept sleeping with Rose, which was one of the reasons she had been drinking so much lately. So even if it was barely a solution, Rose being her friend seemed to be a reasonable compromise.

Except for the fact that she was in love with Rose, and being near her without actually being with her hurt and made her want to grab a bottle of vodka even more.

But she had to admit that thinking about how fucked up her relationship with Rose was did a reasonably good job of distracting her from drinking. For the first time that day her mind was not solely focused on alcohol. And she didn’t know if it was good or bad that Rose was currently doing a better job of clouding her mind than alcohol ever had.

‘Where are we going?’ Luisa asked as Rose missed the turn needed to get to her apartment. ‘Because if you are planning on killing me, I don’t know why you bothered trying to get me sober.’

‘If I was going to kill you, I wouldn’t have picked you up in my own car.’

‘Told you it was too obvious.’

‘More that I don’t want blood on my seats.’

Luisa gasped, lightly smacking Rose in the shoulder. ‘I can’t believe you just said that!’

‘It’s an expensive car,’ Rose smiled. ‘You said so yourself.’

‘Yeah, well “Miss perfect crime”, you still haven’t told me where we’re going.’

‘To see a movie,’ Rose said as she pulled into a parking lot.

‘This is not where you live.’

‘No, but there is a movie theatre around the corner,’ Rose said, looking at Luisa.

‘You wanna go out? Now?’

‘I thought you might prefer it to my apartment.’

Luisa let that sink in for a second. She wasn’t sure what Rose was thinking exactly. But the last time Luisa had been in her apartment she had suddenly stormed out and nearly drank herself into a coma. So not going to Rose’s apartment might be better. It would be too much. Too much like a date, too much like something they weren’t. But honestly, Luisa didn’t know if going to see a movie with Rose was any better. Because while it might miss the obvious sex connotations, it still had great date potential.

‘We can watch a movie at my place too if you prefer,’ Rose said, her hand already back on the key still in the ignition.

‘No, this is okay. Neutral ground. I will be less inclined to get you out of your clothes.’

‘Luisa,’ Rose warned.

‘You have to admit that it is at least a little weird.’

‘It is,’ Rose admitted with a sigh. ‘But we can’t do that again. It was a mistake.’

More than one, Luisa thought. A whole series of mistakes, on both their parts.

‘Yeah,’ she admitted reluctantly. It still didn’t feel like a mistake. It felt incredible to be with Rose. She just wished there was no _doubt_ when she was with Rose. That she knew for a fact that she was the only one for Rose. And that wasn’t true. As basically everything in her life, every good thing came with a downside. A very big downside.

‘Any idea what movies are playing?’ Luisa asked as she sauntered down the sidewalk next to Rose.

‘No, not really. Is there anything what you want to see?’ Rose asked as she checked the listening on the outside of the movie theater.

Luisa shrugged. She had no idea if there were any new releases she wanted to see. She had been a little preoccupied lately and there had no need to plan a date to the movie theater. She shouldered up to Rose as she read through the movie titles. Nothing really catching her eyes. Especially as the slight breeze that was making goosebumps break out across her arms was also carrying the fragrant scent of Rose’s delicate perfume right to her. And it was making her a different kind of dizzy than what the alcohol withdrawal was doing.

‘Just pick one.’ She didn’t really care what movie they saw. She doubted she could concentrate on it anyway. She just wanted something else to think about for an hour or two.

‘This one won an Oscar,’ Rose offered.

‘Yeah, no. The Academy can keep their movies. They are always awful and just plain sad.’

Rose laughed. ‘Alright. Then we have a testosterone fueled action movie. Another one. Superhero movie. Foreign film. Romantic comedy. And a Disney movie. You pick.’

‘Disney. Least likely chance for me to hate it,’ Luisa said.

Rose smiled. ‘It has been a while since I have seen a Disney movie.’

‘Really?’ Luisa said, not even trying to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. ‘You and your tailored suits, expensive car and house full of veritable tomes don’t constantly follow every development Disney makes?’

‘Strangely enough, no.’

‘I used to watch them drunk,’ Luisa shrugged. ‘So this will probably be the only one I remember.’

Rose didn’t respond, and Luisa really didn’t know what she wanted her to say to that anyway.

For some unknown reason, there wasn’t much of a queue at 5:30pm on a Monday. So Rose was left with the embarrassing task of buying two tickets to a Disney movie without any children in sight.

‘Do you want any popcorn?’ Rose asked, they had 15 minutes to kill before the movie started.

‘I want a drink,’ Luisa sighed. Rose had done an adequate job of distracting her, but the urge hadn’t faded. She really wanted a drink. She couldn’t even think of a reason why. She was out with Rose, which was what she’d always wanted. She just also really wanted a drink.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, using the same warning tone she had when Luisa mentioned the two of them having sex.

‘What?’ Luisa said, a little annoyance creeping into her voice. ‘I can talk about wanting one. I just can’t have one.’

‘And you really think words have no effect on that at all?’ Rose asked skeptically.

‘Don’t analyze me, _professor_ ,’ Luisa bit out.

‘I’m sorry. But was that a no on the popcorn?’ Rose said, seemingly unbothered by Luisa’s annoyance.

‘No,’ Luisa murmured, she was still feeling a little nauseous. But it wasn’t a movie without popcorn. ‘Also jellybeans. And Red Vines. And gummy bears.’

‘Craving sugar?’ Rose asked with a smile.

‘No. Yes. Maybe,’ Luisa said as she processed her feelings.

‘It is not really healthy.’

‘I am 23, I have the rest of my life to be healthy,’ Luisa whined. ‘Besides. I have my own money. I can buy all the candy I want. I don’t need your permission,’ she said, raising an eyebrow as she stared challengingly at Rose.

Rose just laughed and shook her head. ‘Alright. You pay.’

‘But I am just a poor college student!’ Luisa whined. ‘You drive a Jag.’

‘Your father is a multi-millionaire. You can afford a bag of jellybeans.’

‘I regret telling you that now,’ Luisa sighed. ‘Fine, but you’re not getting any of _my_ candy,’ she added as she grabbed the boxes of things she wanted.

‘I am not going to hold your hair back while you throw it all up again,’ Rose said, even if Rose’s track record with Luisa puking up her guts suggested otherwise.

Luisa dropped all her boxes of candy on the empty chair next to her. They were the only two people in the theater, which for some reason really annoyed Luisa.

Because that was the date dream. That you could fool around in the last row without anyone shushing you. And Rose was definitely a person she wanted to do that with. But sadly, this was a totally platonic date. Which was not putting her in a great mood at the start of the movie.

She _really_ wanted to be doing this with Rose. To be on a real date with the gorgeous, smart, sophisticated woman sitting next to her. But their intimate relationship had officially been put on halt. No, not put on halt. That suggested the possibility that it might one day continue. But there was no chance of that. Because while she was in love with Rose, that wasn’t the case the other way around.

So this was all she could have. Just a friendly, professional relationship with Rose. Which should be enough. But it really wasn’t.

* * *

Rose was barely paying attention to all the colorful characters bouncing around on the screen. She was sure a very emotional tale was being told through the medium of song and dance, but Rose couldn’t focus on the movie at all. She kept glancing over at Luisa, who was very steadily making her way through her pile of candy, while the salty popcorn sat mostly untouched between the two of them.

So it was true that alcoholics craved sugar. And that was not the only symptom Luisa was exhibiting. And that worried Rose. She had known Luisa had been drinking a lot, but she had had no idea that stopping would affect Luisa this much. Underestimating the withdrawal was dangerous. Because for the next week or so, it would only get worse. And Luisa would have to face it alone. Because while Rose said she would be there for her. She knew she couldn’t _always_ be there for Luisa. She doubted Luisa would even ask for her help.

Ever since Luisa had literally run out on her Thursday night, she could feel Luisa was different around her, more contained, withdrawn even. It might have had something to do with the alcohol, but Rose was pretty certain it was her. Which was why Luisa refusing to go to rehab was extra problematic. Because she doubted Luisa would call her when something was wrong. Just like Luisa wouldn’t tell her now that she was not feeling well.

She could tell that Luisa was paying about as much attention to the movie as she was. Apart from chewing on the candy like it had personally offended her. She was tapping on the arm of the chair nervously. Rose had to admit the air-conditioning was on fairly high in the theater, but Luisa’s shivering was caused by something else entirely.

‘Are you okay?’ Rose asked, softly putting her hand on Luisa’s arm. She had been careful about it, but the surprise still caused Luisa to jump.

‘What? Yeah. I’m fine,’ Luisa said around a mouthful of candy.

‘You look a little pale,’ Rose said. It was difficult to make out in the dark of the theater, but Luisa looked like she had a bad case of the flu. She was pale, clammy and shaky. And Rose doubted Luisa could inform her of the story being told on screen.

Luisa took a shaky breath before speaking. ‘I am just feeling restless. I am fine, really.’

‘Come on, let’s go,’ Rose said, standing up. ‘Maybe walking around for a little while will make you feel better.’

Luisa nodded, abandoning the veritable mountain of candy as she got up.

Rose watched her carefully for any swaying but Luisa seemed to hold her own, for now. She just wrapped her arms tightly around herself to ward off the cold.

Once they stood outside, Luisa took a couple of deep breaths, her eyes closed as she tried to calm herself.

‘How are you really feeling?’ Rose asked as she started walking.

‘Wrong. Just, wrong,’ Luisa sighed, her arms still tightly wrapped around her chest.

‘And physically?’ Rose continued, it might not be her area of expertise, but she could see Luisa was not fine.

‘Nauseous. But not from the candy. And cold. I am cold.’

‘Here,’ Rose said, taking off her coat and offering it to Luisa.

‘I’m okay, thanks,’ Luisa said, shying away from Rose.

‘You just said you’re cold. Take it,’ Rose said.

Luisa sighed, finally accepting the jacket.

‘Is it strange that I now want a drink just to be warm? Is alcohol withdrawal that creative? Like I understand the anxiety, drinking helps with that. But messing with my thermoreceptors? Dick move alcohol,’ Luisa grumbled, angrily kicking a pebble.

Rose couldn’t help but smile. ‘There are plenty of other, non-alcoholic drinks that will warm you up.’

‘I don’t think coffee is really what I need right now,’ Luisa muttered.

‘How about tea, then?’ Rose asked, halting in front of a café. ‘It will at least be warm inside even if you don’t drink anything.’

‘Fine,’ Luisa sighed, following Rose inside and sitting down at a table.

After ordering, they sat together in silence. Rose had no idea what to say to Luisa. How to help her.

‘I still think you should give AA a chance,’ Rose said. Knowing it was a risk because Luisa had shot it down so quickly before. ‘There are people there that understand, who can help. I can’t help you more than this, Luisa. We both have lives.’

‘Trying to get rid of me so soon?’ Luisa said, smiling unhappily.

‘No, not at all,’ Rose said, trying to sound reassuring. ‘But it would probably be better for you if there was someone else you could talk to.’

Luisa scoffed. ‘I am not going to talk about how sad my life is to a bunch of strangers. Because my life isn’t sad. I am just a screw-up.’

‘You don’t have to say anything. Just go. See if it helps. You need the help, Luisa. You shouldn’t do this alone.’

‘I am not alone. I have you, don’t I?’ Luisa said sarcastically. Rose wasn’t sure if it was the withdrawal making her bitchy or if it was something else.

Rose sighed. ‘And you and I both know it would be better if it wasn’t me.’ She didn’t want to say it, but she had to. She wanted to be there for Luisa, to help her through this. She loved her. But she _shouldn’t_ , because she was Luisa’s professor, because she had a boyfriend and because Luisa obviously didn’t feel the same way. ‘It is too complicated.’

Luisa nodded slowly, seemingly in agreement. ‘Yeah. It can’t really make things worse right? I won’t send a whole group of people running to the nearest liquor store?’

‘I think you’ll be fine,’ Rose said, reaching across the table to cover Luisa’s hand with her own, letting it rest there for a few seconds before pulling away. It was strange, that with all the times they’d had sex over the last couple of months, this small moment between them felt more intimate than the rest of them combined.

Both of them lapsed into silence after Rose pulled her hand back to her side of the table, staring at their steaming drinks instead.

‘So, do I send away for a brochure or something?’ Luisa joked, her hands now firmly clasped around her cup of tea.

‘There is an Alcoholics Anonymous group on campus,’ Rose offered.

‘It’s not really going to be anonymous on campus, is it?’ Luisa sighed, running a hand through her hair.

‘No, I guess not,’ Rose replied. She had known Luisa would refuse to go to the one on campus. That’s why she had come prepared. ‘There’s another one not far from here. So if you finish your tea, you can go check it out.’

Luisa momentarily tensed up, before forcing a smile. ‘So was the movie and the tea just a ploy to get me into AA?’

‘I wouldn’t call it a ploy, no. But in case the distraction didn’t help, I wanted to have some other options.’

Luisa sighed. ‘Alright then, let’s go, I guess,’ she said, pushing her untouched cup of tea away from her. ‘Just, one thing. Would you come with me? I don’t know if I can do it alone,’ Luisa admitted nervously.

‘Of course,’ Rose said, feeling strangely happy that Luisa wanted her there. ‘I said I would be there for you. So I will go with you to AA if you want.’

‘Just this time, I think. To check it out.’

Rose nodded, even if it was only one time, she would take it.

* * *

Luisa knew she shouldn’t, but she grabbed Rose’s hand as they walked through the heavy double doors of the church.

She just needed something to hang on to, to draw some form of strength from Rose. Because if she didn’t, she was certain she would turn around right now and never return.

She was scared. Scared of this making everything real. Scared of facing things she didn’t know how to face, didn’t want to face. But Rose was there with her, so she couldn’t walk out. She had to do this. She could do this.

There was a small number of people gathered in the chilly church basement. Luisa didn’t remember a whole lot about going to church as a child, but she had remembered that even in Florida, churches were always cold.

Rose squeezed her hand. ‘Do you want to sit down?’

Luisa nodded, sitting down on a plastic chair all the way at the back, far removed from all the other people. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone she recognized here, but she would rather be safe than sorry.

Unlike what she had expected, Rose didn’t let go of her hand as they sat down. Which really helped as Luisa felt quite alone.

Slowly the other people in the room sat down and the meeting started. There was an introductory round but Luisa wasn’t forced to say anything. Which she was grateful for as she had no idea if she could have done it.

So instead of saying anything, she just listened to other people’s stories. How alcohol and drugs had ruined their lives. Had taken their jobs and their friends. Had landed them in hospitals and got them kicked out by their families. But there were also jokes. And success stories of people who had been sober for years, who had gotten their life back and were here to remind others that they could do it too.

So at the end of the meeting, Luisa felt a little bit more grounded. Rose had been right: it was good to listen to people who had been through this, who knew what she was feeling, who understood her.

‘You’re new here,’ an elderly woman said, smiling softly as passed Luisa a cup of tepid coffee. ‘First time?’

Luisa nodded.

‘The first time is hard. Especially because you are not at all ready to admit it to yourself. But I’m glad you’re here. I’m Joan,’ she said, holding out her hand which Luisa shook.

‘I’m Luisa.’

‘Hi. Nice to meet you,’ Joan said as she looked her up and down. ‘How are you holding up?’

‘Well, it hasn’t even been 24 hours and withdrawal is already kicking my ass,’ Luisa said honestly.

‘I could tell,’ the woman said, offering a supportive smile. ‘Been there a few times. As you can probably tell by my advanced age,’ Joan laughed. ‘You are here with the tall redhead right?’

Luisa nodded, looking at Rose who was talking with someone on the other side of the room. Their eyes met briefly and Rose flashed her a warm smile. ‘She’s a, _friend_ ,’ Luisa said, the word feeling wrong in her mouth somehow.

‘Can you stay with her tonight? Because the withdrawal is only going to get worse. I wish I could say that got easier over time. But the first week is just hell.’

‘I’m not sure…’ Luisa said, but Rose interrupted by putting her hand on Luisa’s shoulder.

‘She can stay with me. Someone has to keep an eye on her.’

‘That’s smart,’ Joan said, picking up a napkin and a pen. ‘Here, this is my number. You can call whenever. My phone’s always on. So when you need some advice or just someone to talk to, I’m only a phone call away. Even if it’s the middle of the night, I’ll answer. You look like a nice young girl, don’t want you to struggle like I did.’

Luisa nodded, feeling tears well up in her eyes as she accepted the napkin. ‘Thank you,’ she said around the lump in her throat.

‘It’s okay, honey,’ Joan smiled, wrapping Luisa in a warm, grandmotherly hug. ‘It’s hard. But if an old lady like me can do it. So can you. And you’re already on your way there. AA is the first step.’

Luisa nodded again, now crying freely.

‘You take care of your friend, okay?’ Joan said to Rose, still comfortingly stroking up and down Luisa’s arms as the strain of everything that had happened today and everything she was trying to repress and ignore made its way to the foreground.

‘I will,’ Rose said.

‘Good. There’s another meeting here tomorrow morning at 7:30. You don’t have to come but I suggest you at least come tomorrow night. You don’t have to say anything, but I’ve found that just sitting here really helps. Plus, the coffee is free.’

Luisa laughed through her tears. ‘Yeah, I’ll be here tomorrow. Thank you.’

‘No problem, honey. You can do this. I believe in you. See you tomorrow, okay? And do call.’

Luisa nodded, wiping at her tears.

‘Are you okay with staying at my place? I have a guestroom,’ Rose offered.

‘Yeah. I just don’t want to be alone,’ Luisa said, grabbing Rose’s hand as they walked back to the car.

‘I’m proud of you,’ Rose said as she held the door open for Luisa.

Luisa didn’t respond; there was nothing to be proud of yet. And she had no idea if she could do it. But for now, at least Rose was no longer the most complicated thing in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a terrible cold, so I am not certain if this chapter made any sense. So please let me know!
> 
> Thank you for reading, for all the people who are telling me this is their favorite fic, it means a lot. Wouldn't be here without you. So I am sorry there was a bit of a wait. I'll try to update more regularly!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo everyone, this chapter has quite a few warnings, so please be careful!
> 
> WARNING: alcoholism, alcohol withdrawal, internalized homophobia, abuse mention, suicide mention and conversion therapy mention.
> 
> This is just not a happy chapter and I don't want to upset anyone. So please, if any of these topics trigger you, be careful. You can always ask me what happened in this chapter instead of reading it. Think of yourself first!

Luisa had been staring at the ceiling of Rose’s guestroom for what felt like hours now. She had been dead tired earlier, physically and especially emotionally exhausted after going to AA. But now she couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

She wasn’t 100% certain if it was the alcohol withdrawal that was causing the insomnia, or if it was the fact that she was in Rose’s house but not in Rose’s bed.

The last time she had been here, less than a week ago, everything had been different. She and Rose might not have actually been together at that point either. But at least she still got to kiss Rose, hold Rose and have sex with Rose. That was all out of the question now. And while Luisa knew it was better that way, she couldn’t stop wondering what would have happened if she hadn’t run out on Rose that Thursday. If she would still have ended up here, 12 hours into alcohol withdrawal, laying alone in Rose’s guestroom.

She wondered if it was possible to go through the withdrawal part while being in Rose’s bed with the redhead instead of twenty feet away behind a closed door.

Maybe if she had told Rose she loved her, maybe then things would be different. But it was a hopeless thing to think about, because Rose didn’t even like her enough to break up with her boyfriend. Let alone that she loved her.

She rolled onto her side, curling into a ball as a sharp pain shot through her stomach. Great, besides the anxiety, insomnia and strong pull to the nearest liquor store, she was now also in physical pain. And while Luisa knew that a drink wouldn’t solve anything. It would at least stop the pain for a little while. And if she drank enough she would finally be able to relax, to sleep, to stop thinking about Rose.

She turned onto her other side, feeling more tears start to burn down her cheeks. She hated being this weak. Hated being this dependent on something else. Hated how she had done this to herself.

‘Stop it,’ she admonished herself. ‘Just, stop it.’ She sat up in bed, sucking in a few steadying breaths as she suddenly got lightheaded, the pain in her stomach getting worse.

Rose had made her dinner, but Luisa hadn’t been able to do more than pushing it around on her plate. So it was possible she was just hungry, but that was probably not it.

After dinner Rose had asked if she wanted to watch another movie or anything. But Luisa had just wanted the day to end so she’d gone to bed. Which had been four hours ago and yet she was still wide awake.

And all this being alone, unable to sleep, was just causing her to overthink everything.

She knew Joan, the kind old lady from AA had told her to call whenever. But Luisa wasn’t that desperate. Yet. Rose would probably be asleep already so maybe she could just quietly watch something on TV and hope she’d get tired.

But as she got to the door, she could still see light burning in the living room, indicating that Rose was still awake.

She could probably still go out and watch some TV, maybe join in on whatever Rose was doing. But she didn’t currently want to see Rose. She didn’t want to break down in front of the other woman. She didn’t want Rose to think she was weak.

She knew it was very unlikely that Rose would actually think that. But she would rather not face the redhead regardless. She wasn’t certain if she could stop herself from saying something stupid. Like ‘I love you’ or ‘Please, leave your dependable boyfriend for me, your alcoholic student’. So instead of risking it, she laid back down on her bed, maybe her brain would eventually get tired of creating a panic where there was none and go to sleep.

So she went back to staring at the ceiling, wondering what Rose was still doing up.

Probably grading papers, or doing something else professor-y. Luisa knew it was the wrong thing to think about, but her brain needed some distraction from today. And while she couldn’t actually sleep with Rose, there was nothing stopping her from _thinking_ about sleeping with Rose.

And apparently that was just the thing she needed to think about as she was asleep in a couple of minutes.

_Luisa woke up alone in bed that morning, turning to her side to see Rose had already gotten up. Only the turned back sheets to keep her company in what must surely be the early morning. It was Sunday, why couldn’t Rose understand that Sunday was meant for staying in bed the whole day while having lazy sex?_

_She sighed and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Now she had to get up to convince Rose to come back to bed with her, which she didn’t doubt she could do, she was just annoyed that the getting up part was necessary. All of this would have been much easier if Rose was a regularly functioning person who slept in on the weekends._

_Luisa picked up Rose’s discarded blouse from last night, fasting a couple of buttons so the fabric just about covered her. Which more than suited her purposes._

_Quietly, she sneaked out of the bedroom, finding Rose sitting behind her desk. Actually dressed for the day, wearing one of her incredibly form-fitting skirts and white blouses._

_Luisa rolled her eyes, that woman really didn’t know how to make the most of a Sunday._

_‘Good morning, professor,’ Luisa breathed, brushing her hands over Rose’s shoulders._

_Rose didn’t have a chance to reply as Luisa sat herself down in the redhead’s lap, the blouse she was wearing riding up very high on her thighs as she straddled Rose._

_‘I missed you,’ Luisa husked, teasingly pulling Rose’s glasses a little further down her nose. Watching as Rose’s clear blue eyes turned a darker shade._

_‘Why would you leave me naked and alone in your bed?’ Luisa purred, twisting at the hips so she could look behind her at Rose’s desk. ‘Especially to do something as boring as grading papers.’ She smiled at Rose, her grin having something predatory to it._

_Rose’s mouth fell open a little bit, but Luisa’s didn’t give her the time to actually say something in her own defense. She didn’t care anyway. She just wanted Rose back in bed with her._

_‘So come back to bed with me,’ Luisa husked, pulling Rose’s glasses off completely, carelessly putting them down on the desk behind them._

_Rose looked really sexy with her glasses, but kissing was much more pleasurable without the frames digging into their faces. And Luisa was planning to do some serious kissing, and glasses were not at all conductive to that process._

_She fused her mouth together with Rose’s, licking into the redhead’s mouth as Rose eagerly allowed her entrance._

_Her hand dropped down from Rose’s shoulder, following the dipping line of her torso to her waist. Resting there for a second before dropping down even lower. She raised herself up a little so she could push Rose’s skirt up higher and slowly ran her hand up the inside of Rose’s thigh._

_Luisa might be a firm believer that clothes were unnecessary on a Sunday, but at least Rose had decided to wear a skirt, which did allow for easy access._

_Rose whimpered into the kiss as Luisa started drawing soft circles and spirals on the inside of her thigh, getting closer and closer to the warmth that was already radiating from Rose’s center._

_‘We could have done this in bed,’ Luisa whispered, kissing a trail up Rose’s jaw to her ear, softly biting the lobe. ‘But you decided to get up.’_

_‘I had to work. I should have done this last night. But you decided to distract me,’ Rose breathed, giving Luisa more of a challenge than she had expected._

_Luisa laughed, stroking Rose over her underwear. ‘I would rather have you back in bed with me than I would have that grade back tomorrow.’_

_‘I am not sure your classmates would agree with that,’ Rose husked, starting to play with the buttons of Luisa’s, technically her own, blouse._

_‘Screw them,’ Luisa said, rolling her hips as she finally bypassed Rose’s underwear._

_‘I would rather screw you,’ Rose whispered, throwing her head back as Luisa circled her clit once._

_‘Then why did you get up?’ Luisa smirked, kissing down Rose’s throat, tasting her as she sucked on Rose’s pulse point, making her moan._

_‘Everyone makes mistakes,’ Rose smiled, finally undoing the three buttons that were keeping Luisa’s body from her, raking her hands all over Luisa’s skin._

_Luisa closed her eyes, softly biting down on Rose’s shoulder as Rose’s hands drifted lower and lower._

_She leaned forwards, catching Rose’s lips in another searing kiss as she started rolling her hips at a faster pace, urging Rose to get a move on._

_Rose’s hand finally completed the journey between her legs and Luisa bit her lip to stifle a moan…._

Luisa groaned, but not from pleasure as her eyes fluttered open. That was a decidedly unfair point in her dream to wake up. She could still feel the physical effects her dream had had on her body. But as those faded away, She wondered what had woken her.

Right at that moment a loud banging started. Okay, so that might have been the cause of her current frustration, Luisa thought. She groaned, pressing a pillow over head to drown out the noise, which sounded like someone was trying to break the door down, hoping it would stop soon so she could continue her dream.

She had not expected Rose’s building to be this noisy. It had a doorman. Shouldn’t they prevent people from making this kind of noise in the middle of the night?

All night she had been trying to fall asleep, and once she finally did and started dreaming a very pleasurable dream indeed, some idiot woke her up.

She sighed and got up. Maybe she could vent some of her frustration by yelling at whoever was redoing their kitchen at 3 AM.

But as she opened the door to the hallway, she could see that Rose was already on it and she hung back.

Rose didn’t look like she had slept at all. She was still wearing yesterday’s clothes and her hair somehow looked just as bouncy and beautiful as before. But she was no longer dreaming so she should not be thinking about that.

Luisa was already halfway back in her bedroom when she saw Rose tense up as she looked through the spyhole.

It was then that Luisa realized that the sound similar to someone taking a sledgehammer to the wall was actually someone knocking on Rose’s front door. Knocking very loudly

From her strategic position in the doorway of the guestroom, Luisa could just make out Rose’s words.

‘Daniel, what the _hell_ are you doing here?’ Rose asked as she opened the door.

Oh no, that was not good. Luisa might not be here to have sex with Rose, not through lack of interest on her part. But she doubted Daniel would take kindly to her being here. Even if it was for a totally platonic reason. Like the fact that she was going through alcohol withdrawal and needed someone to keep an eye on her.

She quietly stepped back into her room, closing the door most of the way so she wouldn’t be seen but could still hear what was being said.

‘You won’t answer your phone,’ Daniel said, quite loudly for this time of the night. ‘Or respond to my texts.’

‘It is the middle of the night, Daniel. I was asleep.’

That was definitely a lie as Rose had definitely not seen the inside of a bed that day, but Daniel didn’t seem to pick up on that.

‘You haven’t responded all day,’ Daniel slurred.

‘I was busy. Wait, are you drunk?’ Rose hissed.

‘You are always busy nowadays,’ Daniel said.

Luisa heard a scuffle and assumed Daniel had tried to come inside but Rose had stopped him. Which Rose’s neighbors would probably not be happy with, but Luisa preferred that to Daniel finding out she was here. Because that would not be good at all.

‘Daniel, go home. We’ll talk tomorrow,’ Rose said definitively.

‘This is not why I got you a job at the university. You were always so busy as a lawyer. I thought that with this job we could just be together.’

Rose said something Luisa couldn’t quite hear from behind her half-closed door. But what Daniel had just said spun through her head. Maybe that was why Rose always got so testy when she asked her why she had given up her job as a lawyer: it had been because of her boyfriend.

Luisa frowned, Rose didn’t seem like the kind of woman to give anything up for anyone. Let alone her job for some idiotic college professor, who definitely didn’t deserve her.

‘Why won’t you see me?’ Daniel said, raising his voice. ‘Is there somebody else, huh?’

Luisa’s eyes went wide, that was not good at all. Luckily Rose seemed to have a handle on it.

‘Daniel, please calm down. There is nobody else. Just you.’

‘Then why, Rose? Why? You won’t talk to me, you won’t go out with me, you won’t have sex with me. What’s going on?’

Luisa closed her eyes. She should definitely not be listening to this. It was unfair to Rose, but by now Daniel had gotten so loud it was impossible not to hear him.  

‘I want to marry you, Rose. I love you.’

Okay, she should _definitely_ not be hearing this. But she couldn’t help but step closer as she waited for Rose’s answer to that question.

‘Go home, Daniel. You’re drunk. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.’

‘Let me in,’ Daniel slurred.

‘No, not tonight. You need to sleep this off.’

‘Why won’t you love me?’

Luisa held back a laugh, that was a pretty desperate move. Even for a drunk person.

‘Daniel, please.’

‘Why Rose?’ Daniel yelled. ‘Why?’ Luisa hear more shuffling and a clang as something was knocked over.

‘Daniel, stop. Stop!’ Rose said, sounding more panicked than Luisa had ever heard her sound.

Luisa couldn’t see what was happening but she was slightly worried for Rose.

‘I love you,’ Daniel said, no longer sounding angry, just sad.

‘We’ll talk tomorrow,’ Rose said, closing the door.

Suddenly quiet returned to the building.

Luisa waited for a couple of seconds before stepping outside, she needed to know if Rose was okay. It was very unlikely her withdrawal-induced insomnia would let her get back to sleep after this anyway. So she might as well stay up with Rose.

‘Are you okay? Did he hurt you?’ Luisa asked as she approached Rose.

She had no idea what exactly had happened, but she wouldn’t put it past an angry, drunk man to hurt Rose. And Rose had sounded alarmed earlier.

‘What? No, no,’ Rose said, shaking her head as she pushed away from the closed door she was leaning against. ‘No, he didn’t hurt me.’

‘Are you sure? Because that didn’t sound good,’ Luisa said as she looked at Rose.

The redhead looked shaken and pale, like something had really scared her.

‘You heard?’ Rose said, looking up.

‘It was kind of hard not to,’ Luisa admitted, cleverly leaving out the fact that she had been listening at the door well before Daniel started yelling. ‘But are you okay?’

‘I am fine, Luisa,’ Rose said, sitting down on the couch, putting on a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. ‘He didn’t hurt me. He would never hurt me.’

Luisa nodded, sitting down next to Rose. ‘That’s good. So do you want to talk about it?’

‘No. Not really,’ Rose said. ‘We should just get back to sleep.’

‘I know you haven’t slept, Rose,’ Luisa sighed. ‘Why were you still awake?’

‘I really was working, if you’ll believe it. So that part wasn’t even a lie,’ Rose laughed humorlessly.

‘Are you going to marry him? When he asks when he’s sober?’ Luisa asked, she knew she had no right to ask that question. Not even as a friend but especially not because she just wanted to know if she still had a chance with Rose. Because hearing Daniel ask Rose that made her feel sick.

‘No,’ Rose sighed. ‘That’s why he has never asked before. He knows I’ll say no. This way we can both pretend that there is something between us.’

‘Then why are you with him?’ Luisa asked. It was the first time Rose had admitted that she and Daniel weren’t working out. Normally when Luisa asked, Rose would say she did love him. Which Luisa had always suspected was a lie, but now Rose wasn’t even holding up that pretense. Luisa didn’t know what had changed. Maybe nothing had, maybe Rose was just emotionally exhausted and tired of lying to her, or maybe tired of lying to herself.

‘Because he is safe. People like him. People like us together. I can have a future with him.’

‘You want to have a future with a man you don’t want to marry?’

‘I have to.’

‘Why?’ Luisa pressed. ‘Is he forcing you?’

‘Daniel?’ Rose laughed. ‘No, not at all. He is just, Daniel. He’s lovely.’

‘But you don’t love him.’

‘I don’t love him,’ Rose sighed. ‘I never loved him.’

Luisa was about to ask a very personal question that would probably get her kicked out of, but after months of uncertainty and assumptions, she had to know.

‘Is it because he is a man?’

To her surprise, Rose didn’t kick her out. She just nodded. ‘I can’t afford to be gay, Luisa.’

Luisa had not expected that at all. And it struck her that Rose had not once made a statement about her sexuality. Let alone such a definitive one on the side of women.

‘What do you mean?’ Luisa asked, she reached out and carefully took Rose’s hand, tangling their fingers together.

Rose looked up, she wasn’t crying, but Luisa could tell she was upset. Her jaw was tight and her lips pressed together in a thin line.

‘No one wants me to be gay.’

‘It isn’t really about what anyone wants,’ Luisa said softly. ‘It’s about what you want. About who you are.’

‘I don’t want to be a lesbian. I have _tried_ not to be. But…’ Rose trailed off, looking down at her lap.

‘There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Rose,’ Luisa said, squeezing Rose’s hand. Feeling like she was finally getting a glimpse into who Rose really was as a person. And finding she was completely unprepared to deal with it.

Rose scoffed. ‘Yeah, I know. But not for me.’

‘What happened?’

Rose shook her head. ‘I should go to bed. I have to work tomorrow morning.’ She tried to get up but Luisa pulled her back down.

‘Why can’t you be gay?’

‘Because it’s _wrong_.’

From anyone else Luisa would have responded to that statement with anger. But she could tell Rose was being pulled apart on the inside. On the one side there was the part of Rose that went to gay clubs and slept with women, but on the other there was someone telling her that she couldn’t do that. That it was wrong. And Luisa could understand that sort of lost, torn feeling. Even if for her it had never been because of her sexuality.

‘What happened, Rose?’ Luisa asked again.

‘Remember when you asked me who else I had a secret relationship with?’

Luisa nodded, she did remember.

‘I was 14. Her name was Eve. Her father was a pastor. She was the first person I ever loved. And she was also a girl. Before Eve, I just thought that I was weird. All my friends had boyfriends but I never really liked any boys. But I dated a boy anyway. Eve’s brother. That’s how I met her. And all those feelings my friends described feeling for boys, I felt them for her and she felt them for me. So we started dating in secret. It had to be in secret. She was from a very religious family and we knew that if it ever came out we would not be allowed to see each other anymore. But of course it did come out. But what happened was worse than what we had expected. I watched as Eve’s father dragged her kicking and screaming into the back of his car. He thought conversion therapy would get him his good, straight Christian daughter back. It didn’t. Two weeks later I got the news that Eve had killed herself. Her brother, my ex-boyfriend told me. He blamed me. Everyone blamed me. _I_ blamed me. My parents didn’t send me away. But the threatened to do so if they ever found me with a girl again. So I didn’t. And afterwards they pretended like it had never happened. I dated boys. I have always dated boys. To prove to everyone and myself that I was not gay. But I am. I tried to get over it. But I can’t. I just, can’t.’

Luisa swallowed, her hand that had come up to cover her mouth somewhere during Rose’s monologue falling back down to her lap. Rose was not that much older than she was, and yet her experience with being gay was so very different from Luisa’s own. All the love and support Luisa had gotten from her family, her friends, Rose hadn’t had any of that. Rose had been told to hate herself. Her parent had effectively threatened to kill her if Rose continued being who she was. And even now, 14 years later, that hadn’t left her alone. Of course it hadn’t. The self-hate was so deeply ingrained in her that Luisa doubted it would ever completely leave her.

Rose had lapsed into silence, she wasn’t crying. Rose seemed more numb than sad. This story probably never far from her mind, but Luisa doubted she had ever spoken it out loud to anyone.

‘I’m sorry,’ Luisa whispered, her voice not cooperating. It was a wholly inadequate response to what Rose had just told her. But she didn’t know what else to say.

Rose nodded. ‘We should go to bed,’ she said as she got up, smoothing down some imaginary creases in her skirt.

Luisa chewed on the inside of her lip, she knew Rose was just going to pretend that this had never happened in the morning. But Luisa didn’t know if she could do that. She didn’t know if she could refrain from talking to Rose about this. Because as a friend, wasn’t that what she was supposed to do? Shouldn’t she help Rose with her problems like Rose was helping her? The problem was that she had no idea how to do that.

‘Goodnight, Luisa,’ Rose said, holding out her hand to help Luisa up.

‘Goodnight, Rose,’ Luisa said as she accepted Rose’s outstretched hand. But when she was about to let go, Rose pulled her closer to her, pressing their lips together in a sudden kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've had a little glimpse into Rose's background for all of you who've been asking me about it. So, I hope that answers some questions. 
> 
> Anyway, comments would really be appreciated because these are difficult and very important subject so I want to know if I am doing it right. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took so long. Your support for this fic means so much to me so I hate to disappoint you by not updating. But I really hated what I had written and couldn't figure out a way to do things differently until today.
> 
> I hope the wait was worth it and that you'll enjoy this chapter!

The kiss took her by complete surprise and before she could react and kiss back, Rose had already broken the kiss.

‘I’m- I’m sorry,’ Rose said as she pulled away from her. ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

‘It’s okay,’ Luisa said, not letting go of Rose’s hand. ‘Really, it’s okay,’ she repeated. She would never be upset about Rose kissing her, even if the timing did seem off. She was just sorry she hadn’t been able to kiss back, because who knew when she would get another chance?

‘No, no it’s not. I shouldn’t use you like that. You’re going through withdrawal and you should not have me make things worse right now.’

‘Hey, we’re both going through things. It’s okay. I don’t mind,’ Luisa said. ‘It was just a spur of the moment thing.’ A very strange spur of the moment thing. A very _nice_ one too.

‘Yeah, that’s it,’ Rose said, her eyes flicking back to Luisa’s lips. And in that moment Luisa didn’t care that it was a bad idea. That they were both way too emotional to do this right now, but she just wanted to kiss Rose, so she did.

She surged forwards, kissing Rose with much more passion than before. Fusing their mouths together as she tangled her hands in Rose’s perfect hair.

After a second of stunned surprise on Rose’s part, she too started kissing back, opening her mouth to allow Luisa’s tongue entrance.

When Luisa pulled away to catch her breath, she kept her eyes closed for a little longer, resting her forehead against Rose’s.

‘We shouldn’t,’ Rose whispered.

‘I don’t care. I don’t want to sleep alone tonight,’ Luisa murmured, lifting up her head so she could look at Rose.

‘Neither do I,’ Rose admitted softly.

‘So, just for tonight then. Tomorrow we can pretend like none of this ever happened.’

Rose nodded, dropping her hand down from Luisa’s shoulder to tangle their fingers together. ‘Just tonight,’ she said as she pulled Luisa into her bedroom, which Luisa realized she had never actually been inside of. The last time she had left before Rose could give her the tour. But the décor wasn’t something she cared about right now.

Right now, she cared about getting Rose undressed and to accomplish that goal she raised her hands to the top button of Rose’s blouse and started to slowly undo them.

It had been less than a week since she’d last done this, but it felt like an eternity. Luisa’s hands worked on autopilot as she undressed Rose, the redhead’s skirt hitting the ground not long after her blouse, leaving her in her matching underwear.

Luisa took a second to admire Rose, just running her eyes up her mostly uncovered body. She had never thought she would get to see Rose like this again. And as this was a one night only thing, she wanted to sear the image into her brain. To remember it for forever. So she took her time watching Rose before stepping forwards, running her hands up Rose’s sides as she lowered her mouth down to Rose’s lips.

The kiss was slow but that didn’t remove the need from it. It was still as hungry as ever, Luisa tongue delving deep into Rose’s mouth as her hands ghosted over Rose’s skin. Touching every inch like she was reading Braille and Rose’s skin told the most wonderful story in the universe.

Their tongues stroked together and Luisa slowly pushed the straps of Rose’s bra off her shoulders, her hands forging a path to Rose’s back to undo the clasp keeping the garment in place, never once breaking contact with her skin.

Rose sighed into the kiss as Luisa’s hands replaced the fallen lace, very gently massaging the soft flesh.

‘I want to see you, too,’ Rose whispered against Luisa’s parted lips, her hands moving from the back of her neck to the hem of Luisa’s shirt.

Luisa slowly raised her arms, helping Rose get rid of the shirt. She wasn’t wearing a bra underneath so that small change found them in very similar stages of undress.

She pulled down her shorts, taking her underwear with them as Rose took off the last remaining article of her clothing as well.

Luisa’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at Rose, now completely bare in front of her. But this time she didn’t have time to admire her; she needed to feel her. She surged forwards, pressing her body flush against Rose’s.

They lined up perfectly, every curve on Luisa’s body slotting into a dip in Rose’s. There were no awkward conflicting angles, no space unoccupied between them.

Luisa pulled Rose even closer, catching the redhead’s lips in another kiss, tangling one hand in Rose’s hair. The other rubbing soft circles over Rose’s hipbone as she turned them around and maneuvered them towards the bed.

Rose sat down on the edge of the bed, Luisa sitting down in her lap. She pressed against Rose's shoulders, forcing Rose to lay back down, crawling on top of her until they were once again face to face.

She brushed an errant lock of hair away from Rose’s face. Smiling down at her while Rose smiled back up at her.

This was one of the only times that day she was not thinking about drinking. She didn’t need one now: she had Rose.

She started off by pressing one more kiss to Rose’s lips, starting a trail from Rose’s soft pink lips down her jaw. Moving steadily downwards, pressing fleeting kisses down the column of Rose’s throat, feeling each and every breathe pass underneath her lips. Down Rose’s chest. Resting for a moment above Rose’s heart, feeling it beat steadily underneath smooth skin. The anticipatory staccato spurring her on even lower.

She kissed a trail between Rose’s breasts, down her stomach. She pressed a lingering kiss to the inside or Rose’s thigh before spreading Rose’s legs wider.

‘Luisa,’ Rose whimpered, feeling Luisa’s breath on her center but needing more.

Luisa smiled, stroking the inside of Rose’s thighs with her thumbs as she lowered her mouth down to Rose’s sex. Starting off with a broad lick from Rose’s entrance to her clit, tasting Rose’s arousal on her tongue.

‘God,’ Rose moaned, arching off the bed and tangling her hands in Luisa’s hair.

Luisa moaned lowly as Rose pulled on her hair, the slight pain heightening her pleasure and only spurring her on more.

She switched between fucking Rose with her tongue, and circling and sucking on her clit. Enjoying all the noises Rose made, from soft mewls to loud moans, curses and her name interspersed between them.

‘God, Luisa,’ Rose moaned again, tightening her grip on Luisa’s hair.

Luisa hummed in acknowledgement. The vibrations traveling through Rose’s body causing Rose to tighten her grip on Luisa’s hair.

‘Oh, fuck,’ Rose sighed, throwing her head back against the pillow as Luisa drew a circle around her clit with just the tip of tongue.

Luisa could tell Rose was close, but instead of speeding up she slowed down. She didn’t want this to end. If this was truly her last time with Rose, she wanted it to last.

Rose wasn’t having it though.

‘Luisa, please,’ she begged, releasing her grip on Luisa’s hair, twisting her hands in sheets instead.

Luisa raised her eyes and looked at Rose.

Her vibrant hair was spread out on the pillows, beautifully tangled together because of Rose’s constant tossing and throwing her head back. Her chest and face were flushed a pretty pink. Her chest rising and falling fast.

‘Please,’ Rose said again as Luisa’s observation had caused her to stop all actions.

As Rose begged for a second time, Luisa decided she would rather give Rose a good orgasm than keep her on the edge for hours with mediocre sex.

She dove back in, sucking Rose’s clit into her mouth as she added two fingers. Fucking her at an increasingly fast pace.

Rose moaned, her hands coming back up to tangle in Luisa’s hair. ‘Fuck,’ Rose whispered breathlessly, her muscles seizing up as she got closer and closer to orgasm.

Luisa smiled, doubling her efforts until Rose was screaming her name, her muscles fluttering around Luisa’s fingers as she pushed into her one last time as Rose’s orgasm washed over her.

She crawled up Rose’s body, pressing soft kisses to her heated skin before laying down next to Rose, pulling her closer to her. Stroking her back and whispering sweet nothings to her as Rose recovered.

'Are you okay?' Luisa asked softly as Rose's eyes remained closer for longer than she would have expected. 'Did I hurt you?' Luisa added when she saw a tear leak out of the corner of Rose's eye.

Rose shook her head slowly, blinking open her eyes to reveal the shiny blue to Luisa. 'You didn't hurt me,' Rose said softly.

'Then why are you crying?' Luisa whispered, brushing the single tear off Rose's cheek.

'You're the med student. You tell me what happens during the human body during climax,' Rose said.

Luisa knew that the rush of hormones experienced during orgasm could cause some people to cry, but she was also willing to bet the inventory of a well-stocked bar that that was not why Rose was crying. Whatever it was, it was obvious that Rose wasn't going to tell her.

That didn't mean Luisa wasn't willing to guess to the origin of Rose tears. After the talk they had just had, Luisa could understand Rose might be feeling a little conflicted about what they were doing, what she had just done.

'Do you want me to go?' Luisa asked, brushing a lock of hair away from Rose's face. Her fingers lingering on Rose's cheekbone. There was nothing she wanted to do _less_ than leave Rose's bed right now, but if Rose wanted her to go she would.

'No,' Rose said, reaching up to cup Luisa's jaw. 'No, I don't want you to go.' She pulled her in for a desperate kiss.

Luisa knew Rose was trying to prove something, she just wasn't sure if it was to her or to herself. But she wasn't going to argue as Rose's tongue slid into her mouth to stroke against her own.

She soon forgot that there was anything off as Rose starting sucking on her neck, her hands groping at her chest.

'Rose,' Luisa sighed, arching her back to push herself harder against Rose's hands. 'More,' she urged.

Rose pulled back from Luisa's neck, the skin slipping out from between her teeth, leaving a red mark on her neck.

Luisa whimpered, thrashing a little on the soft sheets. After her dream and Rose coming in her mouth, she was more keyed up than ever and she _needed_ to come, yet Rose didn't seem to be in any hurry.

Very slowly Rose kissed down her body, nipping and sucking at the skin. Her hands ghosting over Luisa's skin, never remaining long, always moving on to brush lightly over the next bit of skin.

It was driving Luisa crazy, and she didn't do crazy. 'Rose,' she said, trying very hard to make her voice sound less like a desperate whimper and more like a firm command. 'If you don't get a move on right now I will just do it myself,'

Rose laughed. 'I would like to see you try,' she said as she gathered Luisa's wrists in her hand, pressing them to the mattress above her head.

Luisa squirmed underneath Rose. Never before had Rose taken charge like this, and it made her stomach clench as more arousal dripped down her thighs.

'Rose, _please_ ,' Luisa whimpered, rolling and bucking her hips to get some sort of relief, but Rose wasn't giving her _anything_.

'So needy,' Rose smirked, finally letting one hand drift south of Luisa's bellybutton. 'And so wet,' she said as she ran her fingers through Luisa's folds.

Luisa shivered, her nails digging into her palms as Rose was still keeping her hands pressed to the sheets above her.

'Roseroseroserose.' Luisa repeated her name like a prayer, like saying it would absolve her off everything.

'Look at me,' Rose husked, her mouth hot on Luisa's throat, sucking another hickey on tan skin.

Luisa swallowed down her arousal, forcing her eyes open like they were heavy steel doors. Arousal inhabiting every fiber of her body. Making it difficult to focus. But she complied with Rose's wishes and opened her eyes.

Rose loomed over her, her normally icy eyes a deep, mysterious ocean blue.

'You,' Rose started, bringing her glistening fingers to her mouth, sucking them clean in the single most arousing way possible, 'taste delicious.'

Luisa whimpered, bucking her hips up against Rose's. She needed so much more than this teasing. After the day she just had, she needed to come. Needed to scream herself hoarse with Rose's fingers knuckle deep inside her.

'Please,' Luisa said again, more submissive than she had ever been while under another woman. But she needed this.

And finally, _finally_ Rose gave in. Releasing Luisa's hands and laying a flurry of kissing down Luisa's chest and abdomen, spreading the brunette's legs even wider.

Luisa wanted to cry out of pure relief when Rose plunged her tongue into her practically dripping sex. Lapping at her arousal, drawing quick crosses over her clit with the very tip of her tongue. Rocketing Luisa to new, unexplored heights.

Right before Luisa fell over the edge, the thought that at least her last orgasm with Rose would be an amazing one flitted through her head, but then the blinding light of her climax pushed even that from her mind.

Luisa slowly released the death grip she had on the sheets, her body lowering back onto the bed. Her sweat cooling in the open air. Her breathing slowing to a more normal rhythm.

'That,' Luisa started, hand on her forehead as she tried to find the words needed to express how amazing that was, 'was just...'

Rose smiled, a real, genuine smile as she laid down next to Luisa, pulling the sheet up over them.

'Incredible,' Luisa sighed, finally finishing her thought.

'So are you. I have never seen anyone more beautiful than you,' Rose said softly.

'I feel the same way,' Luisa smiled, slinging her arm around Rose's waist, drawing soft circles on the small of her back.

Rose moved closer, tangling their legs together, their embrace so tight Luisa felt like their bodies might be one. But that might have been the exhaustion of the day setting in as her eyes fell closed for real. Alcohol the furthest thing from her mind as she and Rose fell asleep in her arms.

* * *

As she woke up the next morning, she wished she could say that was still true. But having sex with Rose had not magically cured her of her alcohol withdrawal. In fact, it had only gotten worse overnight. As she turned, a wave of nausea overtook her and she dry heaved pitifully over the side of the bed.

'Shh, it's okay,' Rose said sleepily, rubbing soft circles on Luisa's back. 'Here,' she said, handing Luisa a water bottle. 'Drink some of this, settle your stomach.'

Luisa groaned, but brought the bottle to her lips. After last night this was the _least_ romantic way to wake up, short off actually throwing up _on_ Rose. But they had said to forget about this in the morning and what better way to move past a night of incredible sex than by throwing up?

The water helped a little but not a lot; the nausea remained even if the urge to vomit slowly faded.

'Man, alcohol withdrawal is a bitch,' Luisa groaned as she fell back down on the bed. The sheets cool against her unnaturally warm skin. It seemed the second stage of withdrawal had set in and she now had to deal with a fever on top of everything else.

'You'll be alright,' Rose smiled. And for a second Luisa thought she might lean in for a kiss but then something in Rose's eyes changed and she pulled away, laying back down next to Luisa, pulling the sheet up around her chest.

'What are we doing, Luisa?' Rose asked with a sigh.

'Well, I am currently trying to keep the contents of my stomach _inside_ my stomach,' Luisa said, opting for humor instead of the serious answer she knew Rose was asking for. Her alcohol addled brain would not have been able to come up with one anyway.

'Let me put it this way,' Rose said, not relenting. 'What are we _going_ to do?'

Thankfully, Luisa was spared from having to answer that when Rose’s phone started ringing.

‘It’s Daniel,’ Rose sighed.

Luisa wasn’t really surprised, after what had happened last night she kind of figured he would call first thing in the morning. Which was still vastly preferable to him showing up at Rose’s door again, especially as she was actually naked in his girlfriend’s bed this time. But still, she would have preferred it if the room had remained a boyfriend-less space for a moment longer even if that meant having a serious conversation with Rose.

‘Are you going to answer?’ Luisa asked, trying to sit up to get out of the room but another wave of nausea made her lie back down. If Rose wanted to talk to her boyfriend in private, she would have to get up herself, because there was no way Luisa was going to be able to leave this bed unaided.

Rose bit her lip before answering the call, giving Luisa her answer.

‘Daniel, hi.’

Luisa couldn’t hear his part of the conversation, but she assumed he was apologizing for his behavior last night.

‘We need to talk, Daniel. Really talk,’ Rose said after listening to Daniel’s monologue for a couple of minutes. ‘In person.’

Rose fell silent again as Daniel spoke, Luisa catching shards of sentences as he raised his voice. He wasn’t as stupid as she had thought he was, having caught on to Rose’s tone and realizing that that talk they were going to have was going to be the end of their relationship.

‘I’ll see you at work,’ Rose said curtly before hanging up her phone and tossing it to the foot of the bed, collapsing back onto the sheets.

‘You’re breaking up with him,’ Luisa said, she wasn’t stupid either.

‘Yes. I have to. He deserves someone who will actually love him.’

‘And you deserve someone who you can actually love,’ Luisa said, meeting Rose’s eyes.

Rose stared at her for a second, something Luisa couldn’t quite put her finger on swirling around in those icy blue eyes. And for a moment Luisa entertained the notion that Rose was going to say something along the lines of: _“You. I love you. I don’t care about the university guidelines. I just want to be with you.”_ But of course that was ridiculous. Rose didn’t love her and she never would. Then Rose blinked and the peculiar look in her eyes was gone.

‘Are you okay to shower by yourself?’ Rose asked. ‘I can drop you off at home before I go to work.

'I have classes today,' Luisa said, groaning as she sat up, the world swaying softly as her stomach did a couple of uncomfortable somersaults inside her body.

'I think it would be better if you stayed home today,' Rose said, feeling Luisa's forehead. 'Class is not going to do you any good right now.'

Luisa wanted to argue that but as soon as she got to her feet the vertigo set in and it became very obvious that attending class was going to be impossible.

Rose rushed to her side, but after a couple of seconds of fighting the wave of nausea threatening to overwhelm her. she found her footing and motioned to Rose that she was fine.

'I guess I will go take that shower now,' she said, her voice gravely. She shot one last look at a naked Rose before disappearing into the bathroom, knowing that she wouldn't see it again after today.

* * *

Luisa felt like dying as she laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Alcohol withdrawal was not only making her mind rebel against her, her body was too. Her stomach hurt like she got a bad case of the flu and she was simultaneously hot and cold. It wouldn’t surprise her if she was actually getting the flu on top of her alcohol withdrawal. It seemed exactly like the sucky curveball life would throw at her right now.

The only good thing about her physical discomfort was that there was no way she could actually go outside and make it to the liquor store to get booze like she was craving. Rose had helped her lay down on the bed that morning and she hadn’t gotten up since, because every time she tried she felt bile rise in her throat and her head started to pound painfully.

She had tried to sleep to pass time, but she hadn’t been able to. This time even fantasizing about Rose hadn’t helped So she just stuck to counting the tiles on her ceiling.

Luisa was in the middle of recount when a knock on her door made her forget if she was at 13 or 14 and gave up.

‘It’s open,’ she yelled weakly. There was no way she would have been able to get up and lock the door after Rose left. Which was admittedly a good thing as there was no way she would have been able to get up and unlock the door now.

‘Hey, it’s me,’ Rose said as she walked through the door, a brown paper bag cradled in her arms. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Like death,’ Luisa said, not even bothering to sit up.

‘Did you drink anything today?’ Rose asked.

‘If you’re asking if I relapsed the answer is no,’ Luisa said tersely.

‘I wasn’t. I meant that the water bottle I left you with this morning is still full.’

‘I refilled it,’ Luisa lied. ‘And you don’t need to check up on me. I’m handling it.’

‘The seal is unbroken,’ Rose said as she twisted the cap of the bottle, helping Luisa sit up and pressing the water bottle into her hands. ‘Drink.’

Luisa rolled her eyes but did as Rose said, she was actually kind of thirsty.

‘Why are you here, Rose?’ Luisa asked, reclining against the pillows as Rose walked around her room.

‘I told you last night, I am going to help you through this _as a friend_.’

Luisa was about to say that last night they had been more than friendly, but bit her tongue. Last night had been a one-time thing. They had both agreed to that, and it wouldn’t be fair to Rose to bring it up now. Especially as she could really use Rose’s help.

‘Thank you,’ Luisa said instead, finding she meant it. ‘I appreciate it.’

Rose smiled warmly at her. ‘You’re welcome.’

Luisa smiled back the best she could, but being just friends with Rose would never be what she wanted. It was just all she could have.

‘So, how did you talk with Daniel go?’

Rose stopped dead in her tracks, putting the bowl she had been holding down on the kitchen counter.

‘We’ve broken up,’ she said calmly.

‘Did you tell him why?’

‘I told him that I didn’t love him like he loved me. I didn’t tell him anything more.’

‘You told me more,’ Luisa said.

‘And you are the only person I have ever told that.’

Luisa couldn’t help but feel a little smug about that. ‘I’m happy you told me. Because now, as your _friend_ ,’ she said, trying to convince herself of that fact by putting emphasis on the word, ‘I can show you how awesome it is to be a lesbian.’

Rose laughed, shaking her head. ‘And how are you going to do that? You can barely sit up.’

‘That’s all I need to be able to show you my large movie collection,’ Luisa grinned.

Rose skeptically raised an eyebrow.

‘Relax, it isn’t _all_ porn. There are some pretty good lesbian movies out there, if you know where to look,’ Luisa said, patting the space on the bed next to her. ‘You can make dinner after. I am not sure I can stomach anything right now anyway.’

Rose sighed but sat down next to her anyway. ‘We have some time to kill before your AA meeting anyway.’

‘Great,’ Luisa smiled. ‘Now get ready for the greatest lesbian love story of all time.’

And for the duration of the film, she forgot about the pain in her head and the always present pull of alcohol. Seeing Rose smile as the two women in the movie finally kissed after the best slowburn in all of cinematic history was the best distraction there was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this resolution of last chapter's cliffhanger lives up to your expectations. Once again, sorry it took so long. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated, especially on chapters like this because I have no idea if it is any good. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I will see you soon for more friendly Rose and Luisa working through their problems together.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for your patience! I had exams last week so writing this was put on hold for a little while. I hope you don't mind.
> 
> All your response to this fic makes me so happy, so I hope you all like this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

When her phone first buzzed to alert her she had a new text message, Rose was relieved. But as she opened the text that relief quickly faded and she was left only with a sinking feeling in her. The sender was not Luisa like she had hoped, but Daniel. Who she hadn’t spoken to since they’d broken up four days ago.

Daniel had known it was coming, the call earlier that same morning had said as much. But he still took it hard. She herself had more difficulty with it than she had expected. She didn’t love him, she never had and never would. And while _she_ knew why should break up with him, she couldn’t give Daniel a reason for the sudden break-up of their two-year relationship beyond “it’s not you, it’s me” and “we are just not working out as a couple”.

She wasn’t ready to tell Daniel the real reason, opening up to Luisa about her past and her sexuality had been hard for her. And she wasn’t ready to tell anyone else close to her, least of all Daniel. She had been walking around with this for half her life, had been _denying_ this part of herself every day with the exception of the rare one-night stand. And then Luisa had walked into her life and suddenly she couldn’t deny the truth any longer.

She was in love with Luisa. Actually head-over-heels, deeply, wonderfully in love. With another woman. Her _student_ no less. Her secret relationship with Luisa had been the best thing in her life in a very long time. And yet she knew she could never have it. Luisa was her student and the university rules were clear: if they were ever found out, there would be repercussions. And Luisa didn’t need that now. Right now Luisa needed her help and support, so no matter what her own feelings in the matter were, she was going to offer Luisa the support she needed.

She deleted Daniel’s text without reading it. She didn’t want to think about him right now. That part of her life was now over. She felt like her whole life had been turned upside down, but she did know she never wanted to go back to that. To hating herself that much. She was better than that. So instead she opened the last message Luisa had sent her and read it again.

Luisa @ 11:13 PM  
I’m fine, Rose. Really. Just going to go try and get some sleep now. Ttyl

That had been twelve hours ago and Luisa had not yet responded to her good morning text. So naturally Rose was starting to think the worst had come to pass.

Luisa had been doing better, physically speaking. She was no longer nauseous all the time and could actually get around now. Which presented a new problem, the most tasking part of withdrawal: not giving in to every impulse in your body telling you to drink. So twelve hours of no contact on Luisa’s part were slightly worrisome.

Rose chewed on the inside of her cheek, staying here would just make her overthink everything, and she didn’t want to think about what to do next with her life now she was single. So instead she grabbed her car keys and decided to check up on Luisa. It would ease her worries about the brunette and it would distract her from having to think about what the future held for her now both Daniel and Luisa were out of the picture. Because no matter how much she wanted to, she knew she shouldn’t pursue a relationship with Luisa.

20 minutes later she made her way through the by now familiar hallways of Luisa’s building. When she and Luisa had still been sleeping together she was always scared that someone would recognize her and expose their relationship. Now that was no longer the case, she realized Luisa had been right: the students in the building didn’t care. She bumped into plenty of them on her way up to Luisa’s room, and most of them were too hungover to even notice her. Let alone recognize her.

She nervously held her breath as she knocked on Luisa’s door. Hoping the brunette was home and still sober.

‘One moment,’ came the groggy reply from the other side of the door. Rose sucked in a relieved breath: at least Luisa was at home.

‘Good morning,’ Rose greeted as she took in Luisa’s appearance. The brunette’s hair was a mess and there were dark circles under her eyes, but that was nothing new. Ever since she’d stopped drinking Luisa had been sleeping like hell.

‘’Morning,’ Luisa greeted, rubbing her eyes. ‘I didn’t know you were coming over. I would have gotten dressed,’ she yawned.

Rose tried not to but her eyes were automatically drawn to the pair of grey sweats hanging low on Luisa’s hips and the baggy college shirt hanging off one shoulder, both exposing smooth, tan skin.

‘Did I wake you?’ Rose asked, tearing her eyes away from Luisa’s body and closing the door behind her, putting the bag of groceries she’d brought over with her down on the kitchen counter.

Luisa scoffed. ‘How could you wake me? I can’t sleep,’ Luisa said as she fell down on her bed.

‘So you didn’t go to AA this morning?’ Rose asked, taking out a bottle of orange juice and pouring Luisa a glass.

‘No,’ Luisa murmured into her pillow.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, putting the glass down on Luisa’s nightstand. ‘You know it helps. Why won’t you go?’

‘Because I was just too tired this morning. I was up all night fighting my own mind on the issue of alcohol and I didn’t want to get up after zero sleep and talk about it with sad strangers for an hour. It’s not gonna help.’

‘It does help. You know it does. It’s a support system. You _need_ a support system. You are doing this without any professional help. I respected your decision to not go to rehab. But you need someone to help you with this.’

‘I already have you. Why would I need anyone else? You won’t stop showing up here to tell me what to do and feed me orange juice and bagels,’ Luisa said, scrunching up her nose as Rose smeared half of a sesame bagel with cream cheese and presented her with the plate.

Rose sighed. She knew it was just because Luisa was tired and upset, but they had this discussion every time, and while she normally very good at arguing her way out of anything, so was Luisa.

‘Just go to AA. Maybe someone there knows what to do about your insomnia,’ Rose said, leaning against Luisa’s kitchen counter.

‘Fine, I will go to one tonight,’ Luisa sighed, taking a bite of her bagel. ‘Happy?’ she said while chewing her food.

‘Yes, very,’ Rose smiled. ‘I’m glad to see you are doing okay.’

‘I’m doing better,’ Luisa said, her eyes cast up to the ceiling. ‘Wouldn’t say I am doing okay yet. You know that thing people say about it only taking three days to break a bad habit? That’s a total lie. I’ve done double that now and I still want to chug an entire bottle of vodka.’

‘But you haven’t. That’s what’s important,’ Rose said, sitting down next to Luisa on the bed. Carefully measuring the space between them. Being around Luisa was always a test of her self-control; a test she had failed each and every time. ‘It will get easier,’ she said to Luisa, but the words held some truth for her too. ‘It just takes time.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ Luisa said, folding her hands behind her head. ‘But enough about my many, _many_ issues. How are you doing as a single woman?’

‘Great. I am doing great,’ Rose lied.

‘You are a terrible liar for someone who used to be a lawyer, you know?’ Luisa said, turning onto her side so she could look at Rose. Rose stoically kept looking straight forward, not meeting Luisa’s gaze.

‘Maybe that’s why I became a professor.’

‘As I heard it, that was because of your boyfriend.’

Rose tensed but before she could explain it away Luisa was speaking again.

‘Sorry, that was a low blow.’

‘It’s true, though. I did become a professor because of him,’ Rose sighed, sliding down the pillows until she was flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling with her hands resting on her stomach.

‘So will you go back to being a lawyer now? Not that I am trying to get rid of you as my professor or anything,’ Luisa said. ‘You’re a great teacher. And you look very good in the classroom. Very passionate I mean. And I should probably just stop talking now,’ Luisa rambled.

Rose laughed. Only Luisa seemed to be able to make her laugh these days.

‘Thank you,’ she smiled, finally turning her head to the side and meeting Luisa’s dark eyes. ‘I like being a professor. I like teaching people. Even if they are mostly uninterested and unmotivated.’

‘Well, that’s what you get when you make a subject mandatory and give lectures at 9 in the morning,’ Luisa teased.

‘I will talk to the dean about changing it,’ Rose smiled, turning fully onto her side, only a foot of messy sheets separating her from Luisa. They looked at each other for a while. Rose wanted to reach out and brush the tangle of dark hair away from Luisa’s face. To close the distance between them and find another way to distract the brunette. But she knew that things between them could only be temporary, and it would do neither of them any favors. But Luisa just had that effect on her, the way she looked at her with those kind, dark eyes made Rose’s body flood with warmth.

She wished she could tell what Luisa was thinking, if she was also remembering the things that had happened on this bed previously or if that was the furthest thing from Luisa’s mind. Then she blinked and the moment was broken.

‘So,’ Luisa said as she sat up. ‘Did you bring anything else to eat? I’m starving.’

‘You still have half a bagel left,’ Rose said, motioning to the abandoned plate on Luisa’s nightstand.

‘I hate bagels,’ Luisa said, her nose scrunching up adorably.

‘Nobody hate’s bagels,’ Rose smiled.

‘I do. They are chewy and tasteless. The cream cheese doesn’t hide any of it.’

‘I brought you some fruit as well.’

‘Ugh,’ Luisa groaned. ‘I want cake or ice cream. Or both. Just, something _tasty_. I’m going through withdrawal. I am craving sugar.’

‘I just have fruit and bagels. If you want anything else, you will have to go out.’

Luisa narrowed her eyes for a second but then a smile appeared on her face. ‘Fine, let’s go out.’

Now it was Rose’s turn to narrow her eyes; she didn’t trust that smile Luisa was wearing. It was the same one she’d worn when she’d bent her over a desk, fucked her breathless and proceeded to steal her underwear so she had to teach class without it. Which was _not_ something she should be thinking about right now.

‘Where are we going?’ Rose asked instead, her voice a little breathier than she would have liked.

‘A café in the city. It has the _best_ cakes.’

‘So the twinkling eyes and grin are just for cake?’ Rose said, looking at Luisa skeptically.

‘Yes! The cake is _really_ good, okay?’ Luisa smiled, her eyes still sparkling. ‘I promise I am not dragging you to a sex club or something. Although that would be a great distraction,’ she added.

Rose rolled her eyes. ‘Funny.’

‘I am, thank you for noticing. I am going to go shower right now. You go eat your fruit bagels or something.’

‘You joke but I actually will,’ Rose smiled, pulling Luisa’s half eaten bagel towards her.

‘You’re a strange woman, professor Ruvelle,’ Luisa said as she disappeared into the bathroom.

Rose sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. Going out with Luisa would be a good distraction, it would help pass the time before AA, and it would be preferable to spending time with Luisa here, because she was fighting a losing battle with her ever present attraction for the other woman. The urge to say screw it and just kiss Luisa would be less strong in public. Or so she hoped.

* * *

Luisa couldn’t help but look over to Rose as they drove through the city. She knew _she_ looked like she hadn’t slept in a week, because she actually hadn’t slept in a week, but Rose wasn’t looking much better, she just hid it more successfully with her perfect hair and classy outfit.

She wasn’t exactly sure what it was that kept Rose awake at night, but she had the feeling it might have something to do with what Rose had told her earlier that week. That breaking up with her boyfriend had not magically cured her of her deep-seated, internalized homophobia. And while Imagine Me & You was an excellent movie, it was not going to help either. Which was why she was dragging Rose to her favorite place in Miami. Well, her _new_ favorite place in Miami as all bars and clubs were currently out of the running. Besides, thinking about Rose’s problems made it easier to ignore her own. Because now she could actually move around again without being stopped by nausea and skull-splitting headaches, it had gotten so much easier to go out, get a bottle of vodka and just give in.

Last night had been especially tough, she had put on a coat three separate times to go out and buy alcohol. One time even making it as far as the hallway of the building before turning back around with a grimace and going inside to beat herself up about it.

She had wanted to call Rose then, to call Joan, her sort-of sponsor from AA, but she hadn’t. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to inform them of her almost failure. And thankfully it had remained an _almost_ failure. Because that would have been even harder to explain to Rose. Their relationship might be officially over, that didn’t mean her feelings for the redhead had diminished in the slightest.

She loved her. And just like her need for a drink, those feelings weren’t currently going anywhere, and while she couldn’t wait for her alcoholic cravings to disappear, she was a little apprehensive about the same happening with her feelings for Rose. She knew she needed to move on, but she didn’t want to.

‘Next left,’ Luisa said, tearing her eyes away from Rose and looking at the road ahead of them. ‘And…. stop,’ Luisa said as Rose pulled up in front of the café.

‘Luisa,’ Rose warned as she noticed the various colors and signs the café was decked out with.

‘Relax, it’s not a bar, just a coffee shop. And they really do have great cake. Come on,’ Luisa said as she got out of the car, Rose following her reluctantly.

Luisa itched to take Rose’s hand, to offer some sort of comfort as the redhead stood four feet away from the café’s door, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Everything about her posture screamed that she was uncomfortable, and that was not what Luisa had intended with this at all.

‘You’ve been in gay clubs before,’ Luisa offered. ‘This is not that different.’

‘Luisa, I don’t….’

‘Remember when you said you were going to help me stay sober and I said I was going to make you realize how awesome it was to be a lesbian? This is part of that. Come on. You can order one of your stomach rotting strong coffees while I eat more cake than should be humanly possible.’

Rose took a deep breath. ‘Fine.’

‘Yay!’ Luisa said, deciding that taking Rose’s hand and dragging her inside was something a friend was supposed to do. And if she got a little comfort from Rose’s hand that was just a bonus.

‘Hey Kate,’ Luisa greeted the barista as she ducked underneath one of the many rainbow flags hanging in the café.

‘Luisa! Long time no see! I was starting to get worried about you. Who’s this?’ she asked as she noticed Rose. He eyes immediately falling to their linked hands and consequently she came to a logical but sadly, wrong conclusion. ‘Ah! I understand now why you would blow me off for her. She’s gorgeous.’

‘Oh, no. Rose is not my girlfriend. She’s just a friend,’ Luisa said, the word leaving a sour taste in her mouth. ‘She’s new to this sort of thing so I am showing her all the great places to hang out.’

‘Right, gotcha,’ Kate smiled apologetically. ‘Sorry for assuming.’

‘It’s fine,’ Luisa smiled. ‘But if you feel really bad about it you can give me free cake.’

‘Just this once,’ Kate smiled. ‘Which one would you like?’

‘Oh, I love you!’ Luisa said, excitedly clapping her hands, releasing Rose’s to do so.

‘So which one?’ Kate asked again as she walked over to the glass display case housing a dozen different cakes.

‘The chocolate one,’ Luisa smiled.

‘And what can I get for you?’ Kate smiled as turned to Rose.

‘Just a coffee, thank you,’ Rose smiled back.

Seeing that smile simultaneously made Luisa happy and sad. It meant that Rose was more at ease now, which was good. But she knew that particular smile. It had been aimed at her more than once; Rose was _flirting_. Which, she guessed, was normal and not something that should make her jealous. But it stung a little. Or a lot. They’d had sex only a couple of days ago, and now Rose was already flirting with another woman.

‘One slice of chocolate cake and one coffee coming right up,’ Kate smiled. ‘You can go sit anywhere you like.’

‘Thank you, Kate,’ Luisa said, taking Rose’s hand and pulling her towards one of the available tables in the back. It was petty but the more distance she put between the two flirting women the better.

‘See? Nothing to worry about,’ Luisa smiled, patting Rose’s hand a couple of times before pulling away. ‘It is just like a normal coffee shop except everyone here is stone cold gay.’

‘It’s nice,’ Rose said, smiling a small smile. ‘Just, not what I am used to.’

‘You know,’ Luisa said, stealing herself for rejection as she was not certain how Rose would react. ‘Maybe you should make this something you are used to. I am not saying you have to be out-out right away. Full on rainbows and parades and all that. But after what you told me, places like this might help to normalize that part of who you are.’

Rose smiled, not the flirty smile she had just given Kate, but the full, warm smile Luisa had only seen aimed at her, it made the squashed butterflies in her stomach flap their wings a couple of time.

‘It is helping. Thank you,’ Rose smiled. Her eyes still have that peculiar, unreadable quality to them.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Luisa asked.

Rose bit her lip and looked away. A clear sign she was withdrawing into herself again.

‘Rose,’ Luisa said, kicking Rose softly underneath the table. ‘Talk to me.’ She wasn’t going to give up now, to let Rose withdraw from her altogether.

Rose took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know what to say. Or how to say it.’

‘Okay, then I will talk,’ Luisa said. ‘You told me you couldn’t afford to be gay. That it was wrong. So I am here, _we_ are here, to show you that there is nothing wrong about it. And I know that somewhere, in some part of your brain you know that too. Or otherwise you and I wouldn’t have met that night.’

Rose bit on her lip, absentmindedly playing with the ring around her finger. ‘That was different.’

Luisa was about to ask how it was different when Kate came over with their order.

‘One slice of chocolate cake for you,’ Kate said as she put the plate down in front of Luisa. ‘I also brought you some tea to wash it down with because I know you. And for you,’ she said, turning to Rose, the inflections in her voice changing minutely, ‘Rose was it?’

Rose nodded, the wide, flirtatious smile from earlier returning as she looked at Kate.

Luisa clenched the fork in her hand until her knuckles turned white as Rose looked the barista up and down. Spearing a piece of cake on the end of the utensil with more force than necessary, bringing it to her mouth to chew aggressively. This was not at all what she had in mind when she suggested coming here.

‘One coffee,’ Kate said, presenting the beverage with a flourish. ‘And also a slice of our house special: strawberry cheesecake. To make up for me jumping to conclusions about you and Luisa.’

‘You already made up for that when you called me gorgeous,’ Rose smirked at Kate. ‘But coincidentally strawberry cheesecake is my favorite, so thank you very much.’

‘You are very welcome,’ Kate smiled, her dimples showing clearly. ‘Enjoy.’

‘I will. Thank you, Kate,’ Rose smiled, watching with interest as Kate walked away. Clearly charmed by the other woman.

Luisa kept stabbing her cake like it was the one that had flirted with Rose right in front of her. Her jealousy getting the better of her. But it was a childish way to deal with things. As a friend, she should support Rose. Even if it meant her own feelings got hurt in the process. She shouldn’t have these feelings in the first place. Rose was her professor after all.

‘You should ask her out,’ Luisa said after spending a couple of minutes angrily eating her cake which was suddenly cloyingly sweet. Suggesting Rose date someone else after months of wishing for her to break up with her boyfriend was absolutely the last thing she wanted to do. But she could also see that flirting with Kate made Rose smile, which hadn’t happened a lot as of late. And if one of them was going to be happy, it should be Rose.

‘What?’ Rose said, seemingly shocked at what Luisa had just suggested.

‘Kate. You should ask her out,’ Luisa said, the words not coming out any easier the second time.

‘Why?’ Rose asked, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

‘Because she is obviously into you and you’re single now, so why not?’

‘I just broke up with Daniel, I don’t think…’

‘You never liked him,’ Luisa shrugged. ‘Besides, it will be a good experience. Kate is nice and kind So definitely worth a shot.’

‘Do you think I should?’ Rose asked, staring at where the barista was cleaning tables. Their eyes meeting, Kate giving Rose a little wave.

‘Yeah, why not?’ Luisa shrugged. Pretending not to care while she actually wanted to bash her own head in over the suggestion. Rose had obviously not been thinking about it before she’d opened her big mouth. And as a result she now she had to sit back and watch while Rose dated another woman. At her own suggestion.

‘I don’t know,’ Rose said, looking straight at Luisa. Her icy blue eyes as unreadable as ever. ‘It’s probably too soon for me to date someone else. After everything…’

‘I am not saying you should marry her,’ Luisa said, wondering if alcohol withdrawal had actually driven her mad because why was she saying all of this? She didn’t want this, so why was she working so hard to convince Rose to date Kate? ‘But just date her for a while. Dating a woman might help you with your, erm, issues on the subject.’ _Yes, it probably would help,_ Luisa thought. _But it is me you should date!_

‘Alright, I’ll ask her,’ Rose said, smiling almost shyly as she got up.

Luisa felt bile rise in her throat, she couldn’t watch this. She knew it was her own idea, but the thought of Rose and Kate together made her feel more nauseous than alcohol withdrawal ever had. She couldn’t stay here.

She pushed herself to her feet, blindly walking out of the café. Not caring where she went, she just had to get away. She hadn’t been in this neighborhood in a while, but her feet automatically carried her across the streets while her thoughts were firmly focused on Rose and Kate. Together. Knowing fully well she had wasted her chance with the gorgeous redhead. That they had never really stood a chance. So when she halted in front of a liquor store she wasn’t even surprised. It seemed like the only logical place for her to go right now. Who cared if she was sober? Why shouldn’t she drink? What did it matter anyway?

Just as she was about to step through the door and drown herself in the biggest bottle of vodka she could find a hand roughly grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around, away from the door.

‘Luisa, what the _hell_?’ Rose said. ‘I turn around for one second and you were just gone! What are you doing here? What happened in the ten seconds I was speaking with Kate?’

Luisa stubbornly bit her lip. ‘What does it matter, Rose?’

‘What does it matter?’ Rose repeated, her tone more surprised than bitter like Luisa’s had been. ‘It matters because you have been sober for almost a week now and suddenly you leave to go and rob a liquor store? What’s that all about?’

‘Just let me go, Rose,’ Luisa said, trying to pull away from Rose, not getting very far as Rose caught her by the wrist, pulling her closer.

‘Luisa, talk to me. Did I do something? What’s going on?’

‘Just go back to the café and flirt with Kate. Leave me alone,’ Luisa bit out, tears burning in her eyes. That was impossible. All of this. It was too much. She needed a drink.

‘Is that what this is about? _You_ suggested I ask her out,’ Rose said, now utterly lost.

‘You were _smiling_ at her,’ Luisa said, looking at her feet as tears rolled down her cheeks. ‘I thought it would make you happy. I want you to be happy,’ she said, her voice breaking. She looked up, meeting Rose’s fierce blue eyes. Eyes that saw everything, eyes that were the color of ice but could emit so much warmth when they were together. Eyes she wanted to look into every day. Eyes she loved, so very much. And in that moment she no longer cared. Her life was falling apart already; she couldn’t possibly make it any worse. ‘I love you, Rose.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned I love cliffhangers? (Love, ha) Sorry for the torture. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading, yelling is expected and very welcome. So is any other form of communication, really. I love hearing from you!
> 
> I love you all and I will see you soon. <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. This is an uncharacteristically quick update, but after all your wonderful comments I got inspired, and writing about these two is always more interesting then homework. So here we have the aftermath of the "I love you". Enjoy!

Rose’s hand fell off her shoulder, her mouth forming a perfect, surprised “O” and her clear blue eyes becoming clouded with an unreadable emotion.

‘I’m- I’m sorry,’ Luisa said, turning away. Rose obviously didn’t feel the same way and she had just lost whatever was left of her dignity and ruined their already fragile friendship in one go. It seemed there were still some things left to lose after all.

‘Luisa, wait,’ Rose said, her hand trailing down Luisa’s shoulder to catch her wrist, spinning her back around.

Luisa looked back up at Rose, and for a moment her treacherous heart betrayed her, hope causing her breath to catch in her throat. Maybe Rose did actually love her back.

‘I-’ Rose started, swallowing her thought as she bit her lip and looked up at the sky. By now Luisa’s heart was hammering so loudly in her chest she was certain Rose could hear it. And maybe Rose could because immediately after she leveled her gaze back on her and causing Luisa’s heart to cease its galloping beat and stand completely still instead. ‘You shouldn’t be alone right now,’ Rose continued, her blue eyes calm and collected. ‘Let me drive you to AA.’

Luisa sucked in a shuddering breath. She had been expecting this and yet her heart still felt like it was being torn into two. Rose didn’t love her back. It no longer mattered that Doucheface - or whatever his name was – was not standing in her way anymore, there was no chance for her to get back together with Rose anyway; Rose didn’t love her.

Rose didn’t love her.

Rose didn’t love her.

The thought spinning around and around in her head so fast it made her dizzy.

‘Luisa?’ Rose asked, snapping Luisa out of her spiraling thoughts with the softest voice Luisa had ever heard, like speaking too loudly might make Luisa take the final step across the store’s doorstep. ‘Let’s go,’ Rose continued.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Luisa nodded, swallowing down her feelings. Strangely enough the urge to drink had faded. The hurt over Rose’s rejection taking its place. But she knew that as soon as she got over the shock, the craving would be back with an overpowering vengeance, so AA was not a bad idea. Even if there was no Alcoholics Anonymous for people who had their heart broken by Rose Ruvelle. She could really use a group like that right now. Even if that meant she had to talk to David or whatever.

She wordlessly followed a few feet behind Rose, keeping her eyes cast down to the ground. She had done a lot of stupid stuff in her life, but she had the feeling this might top all of that. With one breakdown she had ruined everything.

‘Do you- Do you want to talk about it?’ Rose asked in the same soft and measured voice as she started the car.

‘No, not really. It’s stupid. Let’s just forget I said it,’ Luisa rambled, the words slipping away from her as she desperately tried to undo what she had said, knowing fully well it was impossible. But maybe she could at least do some damage control, make Rose a little less uncomfortable. Because right now Rose’s shoulders were drawn up high tight and Luisa could see the little furrow between her eyebrows get deeper and deeper.

Rose nodded slowly as she processed the answer, not saying anything else as she navigated the busy Miami streets.

Luisa welcomed the silence, it gave her some space to think about why the hell she had thought this was a good moment to disclose the fact that she was in love with Rose.

If she was being honest thinking had very little to do with it. She _did_ love Rose, and she known that for a while now. But she had always sort of known that Rose didn’t feel the same way. That for Rose it was just sex. She had said as much when they started all of this. And back then Luisa had been fine with that; it was her usual set-up. She didn’t do relationships very well so just having sex with the gorgeous woman had been great. But then something happened and she’d fallen for the woman, hard. That particular realization sending her into the tailspin that landed her in AA, and now, one week into her rehabilitation, she had nearly thrown it all that away for the exact same reason.

But then there had also been signs that Rose might have felt the same way. Rose had kissed her that day in her office, Rose had always been the one that made amends when they broke up, Rose had come over after their fight and Rose was the one that invited her over for dinner. Rose had seemed to care about her more than just a usual booty call. But she had obviously misread the signs. Maybe Rose was just a naturally caring person, or she had seen Luisa as something broken she needed to fix. Either way, it wasn’t love. Luisa just had to look over at Rose to see that her revelation had thoroughly shocked the other woman. That love had not been part of this for her at all.

‘I’ll wait here to take you home,’ Rose said as she pulled up in front of the church her AA meetings were held.

‘You don’t have to,’ Luisa said, she didn’t know if she would survive another tension filled drive with Rose. ‘I can walk.’

‘Luisa, what just happened was serious. And while I firmly believe that you were not going to drink, that you are stronger than that, you do need support right now. And while I am _obviously_ not the best person for that job. This is bigger than us. And I just want to help.’

Luisa nodded, the _obviously_ not sitting well with her. It was like Rose was further emphasizing how off mark she had been with her declaration of love.

‘Thank you, I’ll see you in an hour then,’ Luisa said, trying to swallow the lump in her throat as she turned around and walked away from the car to what would surely be her toughest meeting yet.

* * *

Rose watched as Luisa disappeared into the church, grabbing the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. Now Luisa was gone she finally allowed her emotions to show on her face.

She rested her head on the steering while, the emotions she’d been hiding up until that point crashing over her. Luisa loved her. Luisa had actually said, out loud, that she loved her. And Rose’s response had been to freeze. Her mind going blank. She had wanted to say it back, had almost done so. Because she loved Luisa. And Luisa loving her back was what she wanted. What she dreamed about at night. And now it was actually a reality she was scared. So very scared.

She could flirt with women; she could sleep with women but she couldn’t have a relationship with women. She could justify the first two, they were just short and meaningless. She could still convince herself she was something she was not. But the last one was a completely different category. It was too much, too new. And while she knew it wouldn’t happen, she was scared of repeating what had happened 14 years earlier. That fear had never left her. And now with Luisa she was more afraid than ever. Even if she had no reason to be.

Maybe it was just that she still hadn’t completely accepted the fact that she was gay. She had always known it, but besides a rare one-night stand, she had never really acted on it. That part of herself pressed so far down it was almost impossible to retrieve.

Until Luisa. It was easier to accept it, to be herself around Luisa. Until now. Right now she had no idea how to act and what to do. So when faced with the decision of telling the truth or lying to protect herself and her feelings, she had done what she had done for the last 14 years. She had run, hidden inside herself, not letting the truth get out. But right now she was not the only whose feelings were at risk. And while she might have protected herself in the long run, she had definitely hurt Luisa. Luisa who did not need this right now. The presumed rejection of her feelings would only make it harder for Luisa not to drink. And she had known that when she answered. But Luisa deserved better than her much better than her. She needed someone stable right now, and Rose knew she couldn’t offer that to Luisa if they were dating. Secretly dating on top of that. So it would be better for the both of them if they remained just friends. Or so she was telling herself.

She hadn’t realized how long she had been stuck inside her own head until she saw Luisa coming out of church, meaning an hour had passed already.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked as she noticed the tears still rolling down Luisa’s cheeks.

‘Yeah, just a lot of emotional stories tonight,’ Luisa sniffed.

‘You can stay at my place tonight if you want,’ Rose offered. It was the least she could do after making Luisa think she had only used her for sex while Luisa felt things so much deeper.

‘No offense, Rose,’ Luisa said, wiping at her tears. ‘But I would rather be alone right now.’

‘Are you sure?’ Rose asked, wanting to reach out, to comfort Luisa after the day she’d just had. But she had the feeling it would not be appreciated.

‘Yeah, if you are worried I am going to run to the nearest liquor store after you’ve driven off, don’t be. That was just a reaction to, you know.’ _Me flirting with someone else,_ Rose finished for her. Luisa’s near relapse was on her. ‘I am fine now,’ Luisa continued. ‘Really. And I can always call Joan when things get too much.’

Rose nodded. ‘Alright, let’s get you home then.’

Luisa didn’t say anything on the way back, she just silently stared ahead as Rose drove.

‘Luisa?’ Rose asked just before Luisa got out of her car, making her lean back inside. ‘I am still your friend; I hope you know that.’

‘Yeah, I know, Rose. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Rose sighed. Feeling like the most useless person on earth. She loved Luisa, so why couldn’t she just tell her that? Luisa had been brave enough to say it while not even knowing her feelings were returned. And now Rose _knew_ Luisa felt the same way and she still couldn’t say it. Maybe that was part of it. Before Luisa’s confession a real relationship with the brunette had always been just a fantasy, but now it was an actual possibility and that changed things. It did for her at least.

She had never done this before, had a real relationship with someone she loved. She had continued sleeping with Luisa after she had realized she had feelings for her. That was actually the only reason she had continued sleeping with her while knowing both their careers were in the balance; she had liked Luisa from the moment she first laid eyes on her, and as time progressed so did her feelings. She loved Luisa. For the first time in her life she was actually in love and in some misguided attempt to protect Luisa and herself, she had ruined it.

* * *

Luisa stared up at her ceiling, it was all she seemed to do lately. Such a clear dismissal of her feelings should have made it easier for her to get over Rose. Knowing that her feelings would never be returned regardless of the fact that Rose was her professor should make forgetting about Rose and moving on a breeze. And yet…

She had seriously underestimated the grip Rose had on her heart, it felt like it had been broken into a thousand pieces, and Luisa couldn’t help but wonder if it was her fault. If she had pushed Rose too fast. Not that it mattered anyway, Rose didn’t love her and she would just have to get used to that. It wasn’t like they could have been together anyway, Rose was her professor and she was her student, so a relationship had always been out of the question. So the only thing left to do was to get over her.

Usually she would just go to whatever party was being held at the nearest sorority and sleep with whoever came up to her first, but sorority parties were not really an option for her right now. AA might have helped curb her urge to drink a little tonight, but going to a party where alcohol was flowing so readily would be much of a test. One she knew she would fail. And besides, it was not like getting on top of somebody else right now would solve anything. Her feelings for Rose were stronger than any she had ever felt for anyone else before and just a random hook-up would not help her get over it in the slightest. And with no sex, no alcohol and no Imagine Me and You that left her with zero coping mechanisms to get over Rose’s rejection.

She sighed, kicking off the sheets. Staying here and wallowing in bed was not going to help, she had other friends beside Rose, until she remembered they weren’t really friends, mostly people she drank with. So now the booze had been taking out of the equation, they had all disappeared on her too. That left just one other person she could call. Someone she had been grossly neglecting lately.

Picking up her phone, she dialed a familiar number. ‘Hey, can you come pick me up? I need to talk to you.’

30 minutes later a car even more expensive than Rose’s pulled up in front of her building, the top dropped and the driver wearing shades while the sun had already begun to set.

‘You look like an idiot,’ Luisa said as she got into the passenger’s seat.

‘Nice to see you to, sis,’ her brother greeted.

‘This car and those sunglasses? Really, Rafael?’ Luisa said, leaning out of her seat to hug her little brother. She would never admit it but she had missed him a lot. They had always been fairly close, even with the 6-year age-gap. But with the constant moving and the ever changing rotation of stepmothers and a distant father they were all the other had. And Luisa should probably have called him earlier.

‘Late birthday present from dad,’ her brother smiled. ‘As for the sunglasses, I thought there might be cute girls around,’ he said, nodding at two girls who walked past.

‘Yes, college girls would all _love_ to go out with your 17-year-old ass,’ Luisa teased.

‘You never know,’ Rafael shrugged.

‘I do know. The answer is no. Just drive,’ Luisa said.

‘Where are we going?’ he asked as he shifted the car into gear.

‘Doesn’t matter. I just need to talk to you,’ Luisa said her teasing tone abandoning her.

‘What’s wrong?’ Rafael asked, knowing his sister well.

‘I’ll tell you when we get there,’ Luisa said, looking straight ahead as the wind blew through her hair. Working up the nerves to tell her brother what she needed to say. She knew he wouldn’t judge, but it was still going to be hard. He looked up to her and it was never easy to tell him she had messed up. Both with the alcohol and with Rose.  

* * *

Rose shot up off her couch as she heard her phone buzz, hoping the source to be a text from Luisa and not another one from Daniel. As it turned out it was neither; the text came from an unknown number.

Unknown Number @ 7:54 PM  
Hey, is everything okay?

Rose wrecked her brain to figure out who the sender could possibly be when a second message from the same number popped up.

Unknown Number @ 7:55 PM  
This is Kate btw.

Right, Kate. The barista from earlier. She had given her her number just before Luisa stormed out. It hadn’t made sense at that moment, but Rose, worried about Luisa’s wellbeing even if the source of her outburst was unclear, had followed her outside. But after the revelation in front of the liquor store it Luisa’s sudden upset had made sense. Even if Rose had only been flirting with the barista out of habit.

It was what she did when she was at places like the café: she flirted, found a woman she liked and slept with her, no strings attached. It was what she was used to. So when Luisa, with the very best intentions, thrust her into a situation she was not completely comfortable with, she had fallen back on her familiar pattern and flirted.

Kate was cute, she was attractive, ran her own business and was obviously caring if the texts were anything to go by. So maybe Luisa was right, maybe she should date Kate. Really date. Not just sleep with it. The latter she could do, had always been able to do, but dating a woman was new. And it might help her with her issues. And it would definitely be a good distraction from things. But then there was also Luisa to think about. Luisa, who she loved and was definitely not over. Luisa who loved her and was definitely not okay with her dating Kate. Luisa who was her student.

When had her life become so messy? Regardless of the fact if she wanted to date Kate or not, the kind barista at least deserved an answer to her expressed concern. She added Kate’s number to her phone and typed out a message.

Rose @ 7:57 PM  
Hey Kate. Everything is fine, Luisa just felt ill all of the sudden and needed some fresh air. Thank you for checking up on her. Sorry for skipping on the bill, btw. I’ll pay you back next time.

Kate @ 7:57 PM  
So there’s going to be a next time?

Rose bit her lip. She had no idea how to answer to this text. She could flirt back and get started on getting over Luisa, or she could give Kate an excuse and give herself some time to figure out her feelings. Because she wasn’t ready to get over Luisa yet. She had never felt so intensely about anyone before, and while she knew she shouldn’t cling to the idea of dating Luisa, the university guidelines still stood in their way even if Daniel no longer did, she couldn’t give up yet, So Rose did what she did best and found a compromise.

Rose @ 7:59 PM  
You do make a really good cheesecake, and your café seems great so I think it is safe to say “yes”

It was both flirty and just normal friendly interaction, keeping the door open for future use but not stepping through just yet.

Kate @ 8:00 PM  
Well, I look forward to seeing you again. Tell Luisa I hope she feels better soon.

Rose smiled, Kate had seemingly picked up on her hesitance and wasn’t pressing any further, which she appreciated.

Rose @ 8:00 PM  
Me too and I will. Thank you for checking up. Have a great night.

Kate @ 8:00 PM  
You too

Now the hard part came; was she going to text Luisa and make sure she was okay or was she going to give Luisa some time to herself?

She could definitely understand that Luisa wouldn’t want to see her; she had essentially just turned her down after a very heartfelt moment, and even if she did actually love her, Luisa didn’t know that.

Eventually her concern for Luisa’s sobriety won out over her consideration for Luisa’s feelings. Even if the two were intricately and tightly interwoven.

Rose @ 8:17 PM  
Hey, how are you doing? Everything okay?

She had promised Kate to include her well wishes as well, but after what happened earlier that day Rose doubted Luisa wanted to know she and Kate had been talking. So she decided it was better not to bring it up, not right now anyway.

After 20 minutes of blankly staring at her phone screen, Rose still didn’t have a reply. She didn’t know if this was a bad sign or if Luisa was fine and just ignoring her, either way, just waiting around for a text that might never come wasn’t going to change things. So she decided to prepare for the lecture she had to give the next morning, even if work was the last thing on her mind right now.

But after a while her dormant workaholic side started to emerge again and before she knew it three hours had passed. Work had always offered a great distraction from her personal life, and she needed one now more than ever.

The thing that finally broke her out of her concentration was her phone buzzing on the coffee table a few feet away.

After being constantly disappointed by the sender of all the texts she’d received that day, she was surprised to see it was actually Luisa texting her this time.

Luisa @ 11:33 PM  
I am doing okay. Not drinking. Hope you weren’t too worried. I was out with my brother. So the burden of my sobriety now no longer rests solely on your shoulders. I will try to get some sleep now. See you in class tomorrow.

Rose bit her lip, Luisa was being uncharacteristically curt and there was a suspicious lack of emoticons at the ends of her sentences. That paired with the fact that she had told her brother about her alcohol abuse after adamantly refusing to do so a week ago, made it very clear that Luisa was trying to distance herself from her. Which Rose could understand. Of course she understood; she had turned her Luisa down. But it still stung, because while she had no idea how she and Luisa would actually work out, she still wanted to be with her. She loved her. And that wasn’t just going to go away because she was too scared to act on her feelings.

Rose @ 11:35 PM  
Glad to hear it. I hope you sleep well. I will see you tomorrow.

The text was a mix between friendly and professional. The tone a little colder than the one she would normally use with Luisa, but if Luisa was trying to distance herself, she had to respect that. It was her fault it was needed after all, if she’d just said “I love you” back she wouldn’t be here right now, alone, trying to help a distant Luisa who no longer wanted her help.

She sighed as gathered her stuff and walked into her bedroom. Maybe things would be different tomorrow. But just how things would be different she had no idea. Luisa thought she didn’t love her. She had no idea _how_ to love Luisa and to top it all off Luisa would still be her student in the morning, meaning that even if the first two things hadn’t been a problem, the last one would always be there, hanging over them like a thunderstorm. But as there was no “them” to speak of right now, it didn’t even matter. Tomorrow she was going to walk into her classroom and Luisa would just be her student again, no longer her lover, and if Luisa’s cool attitude was anything to go by, no longer even her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will go burn in hell now. 
> 
> Shouts, screams and curses can be left in the comment section here or you can hit my up on Twitter: @WhenTheCanon or on Tumblr: @writersblockisabitch
> 
> Thank you for reading and I will hopefully see you soon for the next chapter <3<3<3


	15. Chapter 15

Rose closed her presentation to the sound of laptops and notebooks being put away, the familiarity of those sounds interrupted by an unexpected one as someone cleared their throat a few feet away from her desk.

She looked up and saw that the unfamiliar disruption to her end-of-class ritual was actually a familiar one, it just hadn’t been for the last couple of weeks.

‘Miss Alver,’ Rose said, her heartrate skyrocketing as she looked up at a seemingly nervous Luisa. ‘Anything I can do for you?’

She and Luisa hadn’t really spoken to each other ever since Luisa had said she loved her and Rose had immediately changed the subject. In the days that followed, Rose had written multiple texts asking Luisa how she was doing, only to delete them every single time.

Texting Luisa would be selfish; it would only be to ease her own worries about how Luisa was doing and completely disregard Luisa’s very valid feelings about their situation. She had been selfish when she turned Luisa down, she didn’t get to do it again now. So instead she had been keeping an eye on Luisa’s health during the only times she actually saw her: the ethics lectures.

She had to admit Luisa looked better, the dark circles underneath her eyes had started to disappear which Rose hoped meant that she was finally sleeping better. And while Luisa had steadily been avoiding eye contact during the classes, Rose could tell she was calmer, more at ease. All of those were good signs, and she was happy to see Luisa was doing well. Even if she no longer got to be part of that process, part of Luisa’s life apart outside of the classroom.

So Luisa stopping by at her desk after class was unexpected and surprising, but pleasantly so.

‘I wanted to ask you something,’ Luisa said, taking a step closer so her classmates could pass behind her. Inadvertently causing Rose to catch a whiff of Luisa’s perfume, the same scent that had clung to her sheets for days after Luisa had last stepped foot inside her apartment.

 _Anything,_ Rose thought. ‘Ask away.’ Is what she said.

‘I am getting my thirty-day chip tonight. And I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? If you don’t have any other plans already that is,’ Luisa said, her tone a little pointed.

But Rose was too surprised by the question itself to catch up on Luisa’s tone.  
‘You want me there?’ Rose said, unable to keep her surprise out of her voice.

‘I wouldn’t have gotten it if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t even have this one,’ Luisa said, digging into her jacket pocket and pulling out a white disk the size of a poker chip.

‘Yes, you would have,’ Rose smiled. ‘You are the one strong enough not to drink.’

‘I wouldn’t have stopped drinking if it wasn’t for you, Rose,’ Luisa said, the corners of her lips turning up into a small smile. ‘So you’ll be there?’

‘I’ll be there,’ Rose smiled back.

‘Great, it starts at seven,’ Luisa said over her shoulder as she walked out of the classroom, still smiling.

Rose winced slightly as the mention of the time made her realize she _did_ actually already have plans for that evening; she had a date.

For the past three weeks she and Kate had sort of been going out. Rose wouldn’t really call it dating. Yet. They had mostly just been hanging out at Kate’s café and flirting a little. But last night Kate had asked her out on a real date, and Rose, feeling she needed to actually start moving on from Luisa, had accepted.

She bit her lip, she didn’t like having to cancel on Kate. But being there for Luisa tonight was more important. She wasn’t making this decision based on her romantic feelings for Luisa, just on her feelings for Luisa as a friend. Or so she told herself, in truth, she _wanted_ to spend some time with Luisa. Even if it was in this capacity, besides, Kate would understand.

Kate had been incredible the last couple of weeks, she understood Rose’s hesitance and her need to take things slow. Not once had she pushed Rose or expected her to just be okay with things and told her to move on. Kate was patient and kind and so understanding. So Rose knew she would be okay with rescheduling their date, and she wanted to reschedule because she really wanted to try and make things work between them.

Once in the privacy of her office, she took out her phone and dialed the blonde’s number.

‘Hey Rose, how was class?’ Kate asked as she picked up the phone.

‘It was a Monday 9 AM class on ethics the week before Christmas break, how did you think it went?’ Rose smiled.

‘Slow, I’m guessing,’ Kate laughed. ‘If had plenty of sleepy students in here asking for cinnamon and mint coffees.’

‘I could go for a coffee right now,’ Rose sighed, working up the nerves to tell Kate about the change of plans.

‘I will bring you one tonight,’ Kate joked. ‘That’s something people do right? Bring coffee to their first date?’

‘About that…’ Rose started. ‘Something came up.’

‘Oh,’ Kate said, Rose could hear the disappointment in her voice. ‘No problem. We can reschedule.’

‘Can we?’ Rose asked.

‘Yes, of course! Unless you don’t want to.’

‘No, no. I want to. I was looking forward to tonight, but a friend asked me along to something important to her.’

‘I understand. We can have our first date another time. How about tomorrow?’

‘I have a Christmas thing with the faculty,’ Rose sighed.

‘Alright,’ Kate said, as optimistic as ever, continuing on, all the way to the New Year. Their schedules seemed to be conspiring against them, and Rose was pretty certain that if they left it this long, they would never actually go out and her relationship with Kate would be over before it truly started.

‘Okay,’ Kate said, sounding a little defeated. ‘This thing with your friend? Will it take long? Because I really want to go out with you, and I can’t wait until next year to go on a date with you.’

‘Me neither,’ Rose smiled. ‘It shouldn’t take more than an hour. We’ll definitely be done by nine.’

‘So what if I pick you up afterwards and we go see a movie? There’s this new one with Cate Blanchett that I think you’ll like. If been looking forward to it myself.’

‘Alright, it’s a date,’ Rose smiled, her heart beating fast in her chest. The prospect of a date with Kate simultaneously exciting and terrifying her. It would be her first real, official, romantic date with another woman. And it was making her nervous. Kate, seemed to have picked up on that.

‘It’s just a date, Rose. Nothing bad is going to happen. And if you’re uncomfortable we can always call it off. No problem.’

‘Thank you. But I want to go. It is just weird, I guess. To go on your first real date when you’re nearing 30.’

‘It happens. We live in a very heteronormative world. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just have fun,’ Kate reassured her.

‘I will try. See you tonight,’

‘See you tonight. Text me the address?’

‘I will. Bye Kate,’

‘Bye Rose,’ Kate said before she hung up.

Rose sighed as she put down her phone. She wanted to go on this date. She liked Kate, Kate was fun and sweet and so understanding, and yet she felt hesitant. Was this really what she wanted? Was this the right thing to do? Was it the right time?

It had been three weeks since she and Luisa had last had a real conversation. Since they had seen each other outside the walls of her classroom and yet her feelings for the other woman hadn’t diminished. She was still in love with Luisa, and she still don’t know how to deal with it. But by now she had slowly started to accept that maybe they weren’t meant to be. That she had messed up too bad to fix this, if she ever figured out _how_ to fix this.

Her thought process was interrupted by a knock on her office door. Right, she was still at work and had a job to do.

* * *

Rose pulled her leather jacket a little tighter around her. It was December in Florida and while the temperatures never got downright cold, it was a little chilly tonight.

‘Wow, you look great,’ Luisa said as she climbed up the church steps. ‘But you do know you don’t have to dress up for AA, right?’ Luisa smiled a familiar smile. Warming Rose from the inside out.

‘You look nice, too,’ Rose said, deciding it was best not to mention she was dressed up more than normal because of Kate. Luisa might be doing better now and she no longer looked like the news of her and Kate going out would send her running to the nearest liquor store, but this was Luisa’s night and she didn’t want to ruin it for her.

‘Rose, this is my brother, Rafael. Rafael this is Rose,’ Luisa said, introducing the tall boy trudging up the stairs behind her.

‘Hi,’ the boy said, his hand outstretched to shake Rose’s.

‘Hello,’ Rose said, trying to ignore the scrutinizing look Rafael was giving her. She had the feeling Luisa told him about her. And not just the good things.

‘Let’s go inside,’ Luisa said, after a few tense seconds had passed between Rose and Rafael. Rafael staring daggers at her and Rose not knowing what to say to him because she kind of deserved it.

Rose lingered at the back of the room while Luisa talked to some of the other group members already in the room.

‘You really hurt her, you know?’ Rafael said as he appeared at her side.

‘I know,’ Rose sighed. ‘And I am sorry about that.’

‘Did you tell her that?’ Rafael said, his brown eyes much colder than his sister’s.

‘Yes, I have.’

‘Look,’ Rafael said as he turned his head. ‘I don’t know you. And Luisa refuses to tell me anything more than that you broke her heart. But I also know she is only here because of you. So for that I want to thank you,’ Rafael said sincerely, speaking more like an adult than Rose had expected of the 17-year-old. ‘But I am not going to forgive you for making her cry.’

 _I am not going to forgive myself for that_ , Rose thought. ‘She looks happy now,’ she said instead.

‘She’s doing okay. Or so she says,’ Rafael shrugged as he sat down on one of the folding chairs in the back, Rose searching a place a couple of seats down from him. He obviously didn’t like her, with good reason and she didn’t want to anger him any further. He was a good brother, and she was glad Luisa had someone to share things with.

As the meeting started Rose pretty much zoned out, thinking about her own problems while people discussed theirs. Her ears only pricking up when she heard Luisa speak.

When she accompanied Luisa to her first meeting a month ago, Luisa had been adamant that she was not going to share her own stories. That she was just there because Rose told her to go. But here she was, 30 days later, telling her own story to a group of people.

* * *

Luisa took a deep breath, she was still not really used to sharing such personal, usually embarrassing stories with a whole group of people. But after the last couple of weeks she had discovered that these people wouldn’t judge, they had done the same things she had, if not worse.

And talking about her problems, truly opening up about them made her feel better. Talking was helpful, sharing was helpful. So that’s what she had started doing. It was healing and made it easier not to repeat her mistakes.

‘I guess I am what people call a “functioning” alcoholic. I used to just drink a lot when I went out. But then I started drinking before going out, just a couple to relax. And pretty soon I couldn’t relax _without_ drinking. And nobody really cared. I was doing well at school, I was sociable, I was also just always drunk. But people don’t care about that when you don’t give them a reason to. But I still did some stupid shit when I was drunk. I lashed out at people who are important to me. Refused to believe I was the one with a problem. Refused to seek help. I was technically blackmailed into coming here,’ Luisa said, meeting Rose’s eyes and giving her a quick flash of a smile before continuing. It was all thanks to her she was here after all. ‘But now I _am_ here, and I have been sober for thirty days and I haven’t felt this good about myself in years. So what I want to say is thank you all for listening, and for helping me realize that I can get better. Thank you,’

Applause rose all around her. She saw Rose and Rafael clap too, Rafael giving her a double thumbs-up and Rose smiling softly at her.

She had missed the other woman. She had tried not to, but as had been the case with Rose since the beginning; she couldn’t let go.

Rose had managed to worm her way under her skin like no other woman had before her. And then she had broken her heart in the most painful way possible and yet her feelings for the redhead hadn’t faded. Not one bit.

Feelings that for the first time in her life she hadn’t been able to drown in booze or by having meaningless sex with strangers. Meaningless flings weren’t conductive to the recovery process; they were just a temporary placeholder for alcohol. Or so Joan had told her. So Luisa was abstaining from both, which left her with a lot of free time to think about Rose.

She loved her, and that wasn’t just going away because her feelings weren’t returned, and it was terribly inconvenient. But if she could stop drinking alcohol, she could stop pining over Rose. Sadly, the last four months of her life told a different story; Rose was going to be harder to quit than alcohol.

Shaking herself out of her Rose-colored thought-spiral, she returned her attention to the people around her, people who actually deserved her attention.

* * *

Rose applauded with the rest of the people in the room as Joan, the kind elderly woman who had become Luisa’s sponsor through all of this, proudly handed Luisa her thirty-day chip, tightly hugging her afterwards.

Everyone else crowded around Luisa, hugging, shaking her hand and just congratulating her. Luisa was smiling and Rose was insanely proud of her. Proud that despite everything Luisa finally seemed to be in a good place. She still had a long way to go, but making it a month without a relapse while going to college was definitely impressive.

She waited until the crowd around Luisa disappeared before approaching her.

‘Hey, I am proud of you,’ Rose said, not certain if she should hug Luisa or not.

‘Thank you, I am proud of me too,’ Luisa smiled. ‘Thirty days,’ she said as she tossed the silvery chip into the air. ‘All thanks to you.’

‘You are the one who hasn’t had a drink in thirty days. I just got you through day one,’ Rose smiled. Not wanting to let Luisa forget about her own accomplishments.

‘Thank you for that. I am feeling so much better now. Also focusing on coursework is much easier while not drunk off your ass all the time,’ Luisa joked.

‘I can imagine,’ Rose smiled.

‘I, uhm, have something for you,’ Luisa said as she grabbed Rose’s hand and pulled her into a quiet corner, away from everyone else.

Rose hated how that small touch made electricity race up her arm and straight into her heart. No one else’s touched had ever had that effect on her.

‘Here,’ Luisa said as she pressed the silver chip into Rose’s hand.

‘Luisa, I can’t take this. This is yours,’ Rose said, holding her hand out to Luisa.

‘No, this one is mine,’ Luisa said, digging into her jacket pocket and taking out an identical silver chip.

‘I don’t understand?’ Rose said, looking between the two chips. ‘Why? I am not an alcoholic.’

‘I know,’ Luisa smiled, putting her own chip back into her pocket before closing Rose’s fingers around its duplicate. ‘But a month ago you did something very brave and difficult as well. And you did it without a support group. So I thought you should have something too, to remind you that you’ve been out for a month. I would have given you a rainbow one but they don’t make those,’ Luisa shrugged.

‘Thank you,’ Rose said, no longer caring if it would make things even more uncomfortable between them, she needed to hug Luisa.

‘You’re welcome,’ Luisa whispered as she wrapped her own arms around Rose’s waist, resting her cheek against Rose’s shoulder as they just held each other for a while.

Rose breathed in Luisa’s scent, committing it to memory. Not knowing if she would ever have the chance to have Luisa this close again.

‘It wasn’t easy to get you that chip, you know?’ Luisa said, her voice a little unsteady as she pulled back from the hug.

‘No?’ Rose asked, willing her voice not to be betray the emotions swirling around in her head. Not certain she was successful.

‘They were reluctant to give me two, because, you know, tradition. And you are not part of the program nor are you an addict. But then I explained it to Joan and she gave me one of hers. She has plenty of them,’ Luisa joked.

‘I should thank her then,’ Rose said, looking around the room for Joan.

‘Rose,’ Luisa said, catching Rose’s wrist before she could get away again. ‘I am sorry I have not been there for you more lately. It’s just…’

‘Complicated,’ Rose finished for her.

‘Yes, complicated,’ Luisa nodded.

‘I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you either.’

‘But thanks to you I had other people to help me. I basically forced you to come out and then I abandoned you,’ Luisa said, looking down at the ground.

‘Hey,’ Rose said, tilting Luisa’s head up so she could look her in the eyes. ‘You didn’t force me to come out, that was my decision. And I am happy I made it.’ _Even if I don’t know how to handle it yet_ , Rose thought. ‘And you did not abandon me. After what I did, you choose to protect yourself. Which I understand. It was the right choice. I’m a grown woman, I will be fine.’

Luisa nodded wordlessly.

Rose’s heart developing another crack as she saw how guilty Luisa looked over the whole thing, while she had done nothing wrong.

‘Lu, can we go?’ Rafael asked as he approached them, looking between them, noticing Luisa’s distress and immediately leveling his most intimidating stare at Rose.

‘Yeah, let’s go,’ Luisa nodded. ‘Let’s go get some coffee, what they have here is terrible.’

‘Yes, it is,’ Rafael said, wrapping his arm around his sister’s shoulders as he lead her towards the door, Rose following a couple of paces behind.

Once they were outside, Luisa turned back towards Rose. ‘Thank you for being here.’

‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,’ Rose smiled. ‘Thank you for inviting me, and for the chip.’

‘No problem,’ Luisa said, her soft smile fading as a look of confusion took over her face.

Rose followed Luisa’s line of sight and ground her teeth at her own stupidity.

‘Rose, hey!’ Kate greeted, kissing her on the cheek.

‘Kate?’ Luisa said, her eyes wide as they flicked between the two women in front of her, just for a second before she made sense of the situation.

‘Luisa?’ Kate said, just as surprised as Luisa was.

Kate recovered first. ‘What a surprise! Was she the friend with the thing?’ Kate said as she turned back to Rose.

‘Yes,’ Rose said, taking her eyes off Luisa’s stunned and slightly betrayed expression to look at Kate. ‘We just finished.’

‘Great, the movie starts in about 30 minutes,’ Kate said as she looked at her watch. ‘Plenty of time to walk to the theatre.’

‘You two have a date?’ Luisa said, the pieces finally clicking into place.

‘Yes,’ Rose said, not able to snap out of her monosyllabic responses. She just felt like an idiot for forgetting that Kate picking her up for their date meant that she and Luisa would run into each other. She had just been so focused on the fact that Luisa wanted her here that she hadn’t realized what a terrible idea it was.

Luisa nodded slowly. ‘Well, have fun. I hope it goes well,’ she said, forcing a smile Rose could tell wasn’t all that sincere.

‘Thank you,’ Kate smiled, taking Rose’s hand. ‘Let’s go then,’ she said to Rose. ‘Have a nice evening, Luisa.’

‘Kate, can I have one moment alone with Luisa?’ Rose said, hating to leave Luisa like this after the small step forward they had taken inside the church just now.

‘Yes, of course,’ Kate nodded. ‘I’ll be waiting over there.’ She motioned at the streetlight at the bottom of the stairs.

Luisa silently told Rafael to leave them alone as well. Which Rafael didn’t look happy about, but after a whispered promise from Luisa he left them alone.

‘I wanted to tell you,’ Rose said, as soon as he was out of earshot.

‘You don’t have to,’ Luisa, said, slipping her hands into her pockets. ‘I think it is great you are dating Kate. I meant what I said that first time; Kate is a good woman and I want you to be happy.’ Her smile was sincere but it didn’t reach her eyes. ‘Have fun on your date tonight,’ she said as she turned around to join her brother.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, not certain what to follow it up with. She needed Luisa to understand something she didn’t understand herself. A beat of silence passed between them. ‘Take care,’ is what Rose finally said.

‘Thank you,’ Luisa said, nodding her head. ‘You too.’

Rose flashed her another weak smile and walked down the church steps to join Kate. Linking their hands together as she looked back over her shoulder at Luisa. Their eyes met and some sort of silent understanding passed between them, it felt like the end of something.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving you hanging for so long, but school got really busy (still is, I'm just ignoring it, shhh) and the fic wasn't helping at all. So after a rewrite I finally have something I'm happy with and I hope you are too, enjoy!

A block away from the church Rose first noticed she was still holding Kate’s hand. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts about Luisa that she hadn’t paid any attention to the fact this was the longest she had ever held a woman’s hand (not counting the night she had held Luisa’s hand as they slept). And it startled her a little.

Kate seemed to pick up on it, squeezing her hand softly. ‘I can let you go off your hand if you’re uncomfortable,’ she suggested, smiling sweetly.

‘What? No, I’m not uncomfortable,’ Rose said quickly, before she had any time to actually evaluate her feelings. She hadn’t felt uncomfortable before, but she hadn’t noticed it then. But now she _knew_ what she was doing she could feel her heartrate going up. It still felt _wrong_ somehow.

Kate looked at her skeptically. ‘Yes, you are. I can tell. And it’s okay, really.’

‘No, it’s not okay,’ Rose sighed, running a hand through her hair. ‘This should be easy. I mean, I like you and I want to hold your hand in public and I just…’

‘I understand,’ Kate said, stopping her walking and stepping right in front of her. ‘And it should be easy. But I know it’s not. And if it makes it any easier; I like you too.’

‘Well, that does make it a little easier,’ Rose smiled.

‘We can take things as slow as you want. So if you’re not ready to hold hands yet that’s okay. We can just walk side by side, okay?’

Rose clenched her jaw. It wasn’t okay. She wanted to be able to hold another woman’s hand. She liked _women_. She was _gay_. And she wanted to show it to the world.

‘Maybe, for now, you do the affectionate things?’ Rose said, uncharacteristically shy. But she was so far out of her comfort zone right now she might as well be on a different planet.

‘Like what?’ Kate asked, her dimples showing as she smiled.

‘Well, I am okay with _you_ initiating things. I liked it when you kissed me earlier.’ Details, she needed details, Rose thought to herself. It was better than continuing to stare shyly at her feet.

‘Alright,’ Kate smiled happily. ‘So you’re okay with me doing this?’ she said as she leaned in, brushing her lips softly against Rose’s cheek.

‘I’m very okay with that,’ Rose smiled, it wasn’t a complete lie. She was okay with it, but the feeling of _wrongness_ still remained.

‘Good,’ Kate smiled. ‘Now let’s continue walking or we will have to sneak into the theater during commercials.’

‘And we wouldn’t that,’ Rose said. Sneaking into a movie theatre seemed more like something Luisa would do.

‘No, the commercials are the best part,’ Kate smiled. ‘How else would you know what movies to watch next?’

‘I don’t even know what movie we are seeing now,’ Rose laughed.

Kate’s smile faltered a bit.

‘What’s wrong?’ Rose asked, brushing her hand against Kate’s wrist.

‘It’s a lesbian movie…’

‘Oh,’ Rose said, sucking in a breath.

‘We can watch something else,’ Kate started. ‘I wasn’t thinking, obviously. I’m sorry.’

Rose thought about it for a moment, and she _had_ said she was okay with Kate doing the affectionate things.

‘No, it’s okay. You have waited a long time to see this movie. It’s fine. It won’t be the first lesbian movie I watch.’

Kate raised an amused eyebrow. And Rose was instantly reminded of her mind jumping to the exact same thing when Luisa mentioned lesbian movies. There was definitely something wrong with this world if porn was everyone’s first thought when they said _lesbian movie_.

‘Not that kind of movie,’ Rose laughed, punching Kate lightly in the arm.

‘So what movie did you see?’ Kate asked as they continued walked.

‘I saw it with Luisa, Imagine Me and You it was called, I think.’ Rose said. At that point in time she hadn’t been paying much attention to the film. More interested in watching Luisa’s reaction to it. Watch her smile and cry and whisper lines under her breath. Back then Luisa had still been going through withdrawal and that was the first time in a week Rose had seen her smile.

‘Ah, a classic,’ Kate smiled, brushing the back of her hand against Rose’s.

‘It was good,’ Rose said, daring to tangle her fingers between Kate’s, Kate smiling proudly back at her.

‘This one will also be good. I heard great things.’

They walked the rest of the way to the theater in silence, still holding hands. Rose feeling proud of herself for doing so. Because it still felt wrong. There was this feeling low in her stomach that told her it was _wrong_ to hold Kate’s hand and to be out on a date with her, but she was handling it.

‘So you’re really okay with going to see Carol?’ Kate asked as they joined the queue outside the theater.

‘Yes, it’s fine. I could use some Cate Blanchett right now.’

‘We could all use some Cate Blanchett right now,’ Kate smiled. ‘I will go get the tickets: you go get the snacks.’

‘Kate,’ Rose started. ‘I can pay for my own ticket. You really don’t have to.’

‘But I am going to. This is a date and I was the one to ask you out, so _I_ am paying for your ticket,’ Kate smiled.

‘Fine,’ Rose smiled, reluctantly giving in. ‘I _am_ getting you some snacks though. What do you want?’

‘Caramel popcorn.’

‘Really?’ Rose asked, her brows furrowed together in mild disgust.

‘I bake cakes for a living, what did you expect?’

‘Fine, one caramel popcorn coming up,’ Rose said, shaking her head. Popcorn was supposed to be salty. Luisa had a sweet tooth and even she knew popcorn was supposed to be salty.

‘I’ll meet you there,’ Kate said, her hand trailing form Rose’s as they parted ways.

‘Rose?’ a familiar voice sounded from behind her as she joined the line in front of the popcorn stand.

‘Tami?’ Rose said as she turned around, staring right at the face of her colleague.

‘I thought that was you!’ Tami smiled, stepping forward to hug her quickly. ‘What a coincidence running into you here!’

‘Yes, it is,’ Rose smiled back, not knowing what to say next. Luckily she didn’t have to as a soft handed settled on the small of her back and even softer lips brushed against her cheek.

‘Hey, I got the tickets,’ Kate smiled sweetly.

‘And who’s this?’ Tami said, looking between her and Kate with interest

Rose could feel Kate stiffen beside her, her hand dropping away from her back, as she realized what had just happened.

‘You two know each other,’ Kate said, it was the first thing Rose had heard her say that wasn’t accompanied with her usual trademark dimpled smile.

Rose unfroze from her stupor now both women were looking at her to explain. Only Rose had no idea _how_ to explain or what to say. Kate her kissed, so saying she was just a friend was going to be a little hard. But she wasn’t certain if she was ready to come out to someone she knew, someone from work. Because word would most likely spread which meant Daniel would find out and she was _definitely_ not ready for that conversation. But she had to say something to Tami, so she started speaking before she had completely figured out what she was going to say.

‘Kate, this is Tami, we work together at the university. And Tami, this is Kate. She’s…’ _my date_. She knew what Kate was, she just didn’t know if she could say it. To stall a little, she shoved her hands into her jacket pocket, and encountered Luisa’s 30-day sobriety chip. The chip Luisa had given her to remind her of the fact she had been out for a month. But she had not been very _out_ at all. Clutching the chip so made a decision. ‘My date. We’re on a date.’

She bit her lip as she waited for Tami’s reaction.

‘Good for you,’ Tami smiled, not looking that shocked by the revelation. ‘So I bet you’re here for Carol too then?’

‘Yes, we are,’ Rose smiled, the feeling of how wrong this date was fading a little, but the too in that sentence not escaping her. ‘So you going to see the movie alone?’

‘No, I’m waiting for my girlfriend to show up with the tickets, I was on popcorn duty,’ Tami explained, her smile widening as a dark-skinned woman approached them, the woman starting to smile as she saw Tami as well.

‘Hey!’ Tami said, wrapping her arm around the other woman’s waist. ‘Lis, this is Rose, my colleague and her date Kate. And Rose this is Melissa, my girlfriend.’

‘Hi,’ Rose smiled, shaking Melissa’s hand. ‘Nice to meet you.’

‘Well, we’ll let you get back to your date,’ Tami said.

‘And we’ll let you go back to yours,’ Rose smiled.

‘Enjoy the movie,’ Kate said.

‘You too.’

‘Oh, we will,’ Kate started.

‘It has Cate Blanchett in it,’ Melissa and Kate said at the same time, both smiling as they realized.

Rose laughed. ‘Come on, let’s get you your popcorn, it’s our turn.’

* * *

‘I am so sorry I put you in that position. I didn’t realize. I’m sorry,’ Kate said as the searched for their seats.

‘It’s okay. It felt _good_ ,’ Rose smiled, feeling a little proud of herself.

‘Still, I should have been more careful. I know this is difficult for you. You just told me how difficult it was and I am so sorry for outing you like that.’

‘Kate, it’s okay. It felt good to say it. I’m okay. Really. Now sit down, eat your weird popcorn and watch Cate Blanchett.’

‘I’m still sorry,’ Kate said as she sat down. ‘Was that the first time you came out to someone?’

‘Yeah, it was,’ Rose said, a smile breaking across her face.

‘Well, I’m proud of you for that,’ Kate smiled.

‘I am too,’ Rose smiled.

‘Is it okay if I kiss you now? Because I really want to,’ Kate smiled, already leaning into Rose’s space.

‘Yes, it’s okay,’ Rose smiled, closing the distance between them.

But as she pulled away from the kiss, the first kiss she’d shared with another woman in public in forever, the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach returned, the feeling that told her that she shouldn’t be doing this.

Thankfully at that moment the lights dimmed and the commercials started playing, Kate leaning back into her own seat, leaving her hand palm up on the armrest, a clear invitation Rose didn’t yet want to accept.

She liked Kate, but this whole being out thing was much more difficult than she had expected. And she had expected it to be difficult.

And yet it made no sense that it was this difficult. She had been able to do this and much more with Luisa. She had flirted with her, in public, had held her hand, in public, and had technically even kissed her in public. And the crowd around them then wasn’t so different from the crowd around her now: lesbians seemed almost as prevalent in this theater as they had been in the lesbian bar. Even if there were a few lost elderly couples in the theater right now, who probably had no idea what film they had wandered into. So why did this thing with Kate feel so different? The only difference was that she was no longer lying to herself, and that should only make this easier, not more difficult.

She shook the thoughts off, deciding she was probably just overthinking this. So instead of doing that she intertwined her hand with Kate’s, earning her a soft squeeze, and focused on the movie. Absentmindedly playing with the silver chip in her jacket pocket, just flipping it over and tracing the letters with her thumb as the story unfolded on screen.

* * *

‘So what did you think?’ Kate asking during intermission.

‘It’s good. Beautiful,’ Rose smiled, squeezing Kate’s hand. ‘I recognize something of myself in both of them.’

‘Me too,’ Kate smiled. ‘Do you need a refill on your popcorn? Or on your drink?’

‘No. I’m good,’ Rose said, she had barely touched either, too absorbed into the movie to eat or drink.

‘Well, I’m getting some more popcorn, be back in a flash,’ Kate smiled, her fingers trailing up Rose’s wrist before she disappeared, leaving Rose alone with her thoughts once again.

And instead of letting herself get consumed by them once again, she took out her phone. She had no idea why, but she had the faint hope that Luisa might have texted her.

But as soon as she unlocked her phone that hope turned out to be misplaced. She had no idea why she thought Luisa might have texted her. There was nothing to indicate that she would. The last glance they had shared on the church steps had seemed final, and it was not like Luisa had given her a lot of attention in the previous three weeks. But then there had been tonight; Luisa had invited her to something very special and important to her and had gone through the trouble of getting her a 30-day chip.

She knew Luisa was in love with her, but she also realized that that had probably started to fade over the past three weeks after she’d shot her down. Her own feelings, however, hadn’t diminished at all. She still loved Luisa. She just knew she shouldn’t. That she _couldn’t_.

‘You enjoying yourself?’ Kate asked as she sat back down next to her, fresh caramel popcorn in hand.

‘Yes, I am,’ Rose smiled, letting go of the chip in her pocket. ‘This is nice.’

‘Great,’ Kate smiled. ‘So you’re sure you don’t want some of my popcorn?’

‘Yeah, I’m sure,’ Rose smiled. ‘Popcorn is supposed to be salty.’

‘Your loss,’ Kate shrugged.

Rose laughed, intertwining their hands again as the lights dimmed.

* * *

‘So, your thoughts?’ Kate asked as they strolled through the theater’s lobby.

‘It was amazing, very beautiful. Like Cate Blanchett, who is also very beautiful,’ Rose smiled, her hand brushing against Kate’s as they walked.

‘Yeah, it was a great movie. But I was also asking how you’re feeling. How are you holding up?’

Rose sighed. ‘I don’t know. I still feel weird about this. Like I am doing something wrong. I guess it is harder to shake 14 years of internalized homophobia than I first thought,’ she laughed nervously.

‘Are you sure that’s it?’ Kate asked, nothing but friendly concern in her face.

‘What do you mean?’ Rose asked, her brows drawn together in confusion.

Kate looked around for a moment. ‘Let’s sit,’ she said as she motioned to a stone bench on the other side of the road.

Rose followed her, a little confused.

‘What I meant was, are you sure it is the gay thing that’s making you feel _wrong_ about this date?’ Kate asked, looking at Rose with her understanding blue eyes.

‘Well,’ Rose started, not sure how much to tell Kate about her past but she felt like she had to explain. ‘I have been closeted for so long, and for a good reason. And I guess it just still feels _wrong_ because for so long I believed that it was. I mean, what else could it be?’

‘Me,’ Kate said, smiling softly.

‘You?’ Rose said, now more confused than ever.

‘Yes, me. I think it is not the fact that you’re publically dating a woman that’s making you feel wrong, I think it’s the particular woman you’re dating that makes you feel wrong,’ Kate explained.

‘That- That doesn’t make any sense,’ Rose said, shaking her head.

‘Let me put it this way then, you hardly had any trouble telling a colleague, someone you work with that you’re gay. Which is a very big step to take. But you still only hesitantly take my hand, and only let me kiss you if I make the first move. Someone, not something is holding you back,’ Kate said, smiling sweetly.

‘I-,’ Rose said, lapsing into silence as she thought about it. Kate might have a point. She had been on a date with Kate tonight and instead of thinking about Kate, she had been thinking about Luisa the whole time. ‘I don’t know,’ Rose sighed, uncharacteristically vulnerable. But she hadn’t told anyone about her feelings for Luisa. Of how deep they ran. And Kate seemed to understand, and maybe she just needed to talk. She had been keeping things bottled up her whole life, and maybe now was the time to change that. ‘I think you might be right.’

‘It’s Luisa, isn’t it?’ Kate asked.

‘Yeah. How did you know?’ Rose asked, playing with the silver sobriety chip in her pocket.

‘You talk about her a lot. You were with her tonight before our date and then there is the way you stormed out after her three weeks ago. I got the feeling there was something more between the two of you.’

Rose bit her lip, closing her fist around the chip. ‘I love her,’ she said, taking a shuddering breath after. She had never said that out loud before.

‘So why are you on a date with me, Rose?’ Kate asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back. Not sounding annoyed, or angry or upset in the slightest. Just concerned.

‘Because I can’t be with her,’ Rose sighed, resting her head in her hands.

‘Well, she looked pretty jealous when I kissed you earlier tonight, so I think it is safe to say she has feelings for you too,’ Kate smiled.

‘She does. She told me she loved me. And then I messed it up by not saying it back,’ Rose said, tears starting to burn in her eyes.

‘Say it to her now.’

‘I can’t, Kate. I can’t,’ Rose said, biting her lip.

‘Why not?’ You love her and she loves you.’

‘Because I am her professor,’ Rose admitted.

‘Ah,’ Kate said, nodding her head slowly. ‘That does complicate matters.’

‘Yeah, it does. We can’t be together. And I already broke her heart and I don’t want to make it worse. Because even if she still loves me, we can’t be together. Not really anyway.’

‘You could still try,’ Kate said, squeezing Rose’s knee softly. ‘What you’re doing is not illegal. It is not morally condemnable. You’re both two adults who fell in love.’

‘If word ever got out, Luisa could be kicked out. I can’t ruin her life like that for selfish reasons.’

‘Is it selfish if she loves you too? I would say it is more selfish to hide behind bureaucratic rules because you’re scared of things that _might_ happen.’

‘I could lose my job,’ Rose sighed, brushing away her tears.

Kate nodded. ‘You should talk about this with her, not with me. Discuss if it’s worth the risk.’

‘I don’t think I can. I hurt her enough already.’

‘You don’t think it hurts her to be in love with you and not have that reciprocated?’ Kate asked softly.

‘It hurts,’ Rose said, her voice breaking a little. She knew it hurt, because she felt it too.

‘So go talk to her. Figure out if it’s worth it.’

‘It is, she’s worth it,’ Rose nodded, turning to Kate. ‘I’m sorry for this. For lying to you, for leading you on.’

‘It’s okay. You deserve someone who can make you feel at ease, who can make you happy. And I don’t mind not being that person. And Luisa’s is a good girl and I can’t blame you for falling in love with her,’ Kate smiled.

‘You deserve someone better than me. And I am sure you’ll find her. You’re amazing,’ Rose said, wiping her eyes. ‘Thank you for being beyond understanding.’

‘No problem,’ Kate smiled, pulling Rose into a hug. ‘We can still be friends, right?’

‘Yeah, friends sounds great,’ Rose smiled.

‘Okay, good. So whatever happens with Luisa tonight, just know I’ll be there for you to talk to.’

‘Tonight?’ Rose said, her heart beating loudly in her chest.

‘Yes, I’m taking you to her. You need to talk about this now or I have the feeling you’re never going to.’

‘That’s probably an accurate feeling,’ Rose whispered.

‘Good, now let’s go get your girl,’ Kate smiled as she helped Rose to her feet.

Rose smiled back a little watery. Her emotions were swirling through her like a storm but hope was swelling in her chest. Hope that maybe there was still a chance, that everything might work out for her and Luisa.

That spark of hope had faded to a barely glowing ember as she paced the hallway of Luisa’s dorm, too afraid to knock. She had almost left three times only to turn back around at the last second. She wanted this, she had to do this. She just, _couldn’t._

Just as she was about to leave for real, the door to Luisa’s room opened and Rafael stepped out, Luisa on his heels.

‘Rose?’ Luisa said as she spotted her, surprise evident in her tone. ‘What are you doing here? I thought you were on a date?’

‘I was,’ Rose said, ignoring the death glare Rafael was giving her. ‘But I needed to talk with you. Can we talk?’

‘Luisa…’ Rafael warned.

‘It’s okay, Raf,’ Luisa nodded, pulling her brother in for a quick hug. ‘Get home safe. I’ll be okay.’

‘You sure?’ Rafael said as he looked back at Rose.

‘Yeah, I’ll see you for Christmas.’

‘Alright,’ Rafael shrugged. ‘Call me if something’s wrong,’ he said, leveling one last glare at Rose’s head before sauntering off.

‘Come in,’ Luisa said, holding the door for Rose, her arms tightly folded across her chest. ‘So what did you want to talk about?’ she asked as the door closed behind them.

Rose took a deep breath, still not certain if this was the right course of action. But she was here now and she had to say something. ‘Luisa,’ Rose started, looking up into Luisa’s deep brown eyes, eyes she’d missed so much over the past three weeks and somehow it made the decision easier, she had to say something. Even if it got her turned down, she no longer had any excuses to hid behind. ‘I love you, Luisa. I have always loved you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course it ended with another cliffhanger, I mean, you all know me. I hope I didn't break too many of you. And I will hopefully have another chapter out soon, even if uni is still trying to kill me.
> 
> Thank you for your continued support for this fic and not giving up on me. It means the world to me <3<3<3
> 
> You can yell to me here or on twitter or tumblr. Just, please yell at me, I would love to know what you're thinking about this chapter! Comments are so so helpful and lovely to get! Seriously, they are so wonderful!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the last cliffhanger, but to make up for it have this chapter actually on time (a first!)
> 
> Enjoy!

Luisa could only stare at Rose in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening; she had to be dreaming, a very twisted and cruel dream. For so long she had wished for Rose to feel the way she felt, to say she loved her, to show up just like she had tonight, and now it had actually happened it felt all wrong.

‘What happened with Kate?’ Luisa said her arms still tightly folded tightly across her chest, needing to create some sort of barrier between her and Rose. ‘Did she dump you before you could take her to bed? Is that why you’re here? Because I do not appreciate being your second choice,’ Luisa said, biting back tears. ‘Because you know how I feel about you.’

She had been doing so well the last couple of weeks; she hadn’t been drinking, she hadn’t been dating, and she had been trying to get over Rose, to not be bothered by her and Kate dating, and now Rose was here, in her room telling her she _loved_ her and it was too much.

‘No, no,’ Rose said, shaking her head, looking up at Luisa with her beautiful blue eyes. ‘She didn’t dump me, and you’re not my second choice Luisa; she was. I want you, I’m in love with _you_.’

‘Then why date someone else at all?’ Luisa said, a tear rolling down her cheek. She hadn’t forgotten how it felt to see Rose flirt with Kate, or how it felt to tell someone she loved them for the first time in her life and be rejected like that.

‘Because it isn’t fair,’ Rose said. ‘You and me, it isn’t fair. We can’t date, and you deserve that, you deserve better than me. Because even if we could date, I am not sure I could do it. This, dating women, I, I repressed it for so long. It’s hard for me, and I wanted to figure it out before dating someone I actually liked. But I don’t want to figure it out with anyone else, I want to figure it out with you. Because I love you, Luisa.’

Luisa sucked in a shuddering breath, Rose looked sincere and just as desperate as she felt. But she couldn’t give in; nothing had changed.

‘Nothing has changed, Rose. You are still my professor, and I am happy you are figuring out your sexuality, but you can’t figure it out with me.’

‘But I want to try! After Christmas this semester will be over, I will no longer be your professor, I will just be _a_ professor.’

Luisa bit her lip. ‘You really hurt me, Rose. I almost relapsed, and I know that isn’t on you, but still I can’t help but think that if I let you in, you are going to run again. Decide you can’t do this, that it is too much, that it is not worth it.’

‘It is worth it,’ Rose smiled, stepping closer to Luisa, gingerly taking Luisa’s hand in her own. ‘ _You_ are worth it. I’m sorry I hurt you.’

‘I don’t know, Rose,’ Luisa breathed.

‘Please?’ Rose asked, stroking a lock of Luisa’s hair behind her ear. Their faces only a couple of inches from each other; she could feel the hot puffs of Rose’s exhales on her lips.

Luisa closed her eyes, she wanted so much to lean in, to close the distance between them and kiss Rose. A month ago she would have, three weeks ago she would have. But the last couple of weeks she had been focused on herself, on what _she_ needed. And she knew getting back together with Rose was a risk for her sobriety, but at the same time she really wanted to be with Rose.

‘I- I need some time,’ Luisa said, taking a step backwards.

‘Of course, I understand,’ Rose nodded, her jaw set in that adorable way of hers.

But as she watched Rose walk towards the door, she realized that that was a stupid decision. She didn’t need time; she knew what she wanted. And if Rose, who had been hiding who she was her whole life, who had been hurting her whole life because of it, thought this thing between them was worth it, that it was worth possibly losing her job over, then how could she decide it wasn’t?

‘Rose, wait,’ Luisa said, catching the redhead by the wrist before she could completely step out of the room. ‘I’ve had some time to think about it,’ she smiled, ‘and you’re worth it. I love you.’

A smile broke across Rose’s face. ‘I love you too.’

Luisa’s heart swelled, this, this was what she had wanted, to have her feelings returned. To have someone say “I love you too” and actually mean it. They would figure out what the extent of their relationship was later, right now she really wanted to kiss the beautiful woman in front of her, consequences be damned.

She pulled Rose flush against her, her hands firmly on the woman’s hips as she tilted her head and brushed their lips together in a bruising kiss.

Rose responded enthusiastically, bringing one hand up to tangle in Luisa’s hair.

They kissed until her lungs burned for air, and even then she kept pushing, kept her mouth fused with Rose’s, not wanting the kiss to ever end.

As she gasped for air, she maneuvered Rose back against her bed. Maybe that was why students had so much sex: their beds were always close by.

‘I missed this,’ Rose smiled, falling back on the bed, pulling Luisa with her. ‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too,’ Luisa husked, pushing the leather jacket off Rose’s shoulders. ‘And this outfit is really not fair,’ she said as she kissed the pale skin of Rose’s exposed shoulder, reveling in the feeling of soft skin underneath her lips, in the familiar scent of floral perfume clinging to Rose.

She fused their lips together as she started on getting Rose out of her dress, thinking about how for the first time since this thing between them started, she was certain she would get to do this again.

Before it had been a one-night stand, Rose had been seeing someone else, she had been her professor. And while that last thing was still true, Rose would be her professor for another couple of weeks, she was willing to try this, it was worth it.

So Luisa didn’t rush. It had been a month since she had last had Rose in this position, so she was going to take her time to get reacquainted.

It was not that a lot had changed, Rose still moaned softly when she sucked on her neck, she still shivered when Luisa ran her hands up over her ribs, toying with the lace edges of Rose’s bra before undoing the front clasp.

‘Luisa,’ Rose said, arching up, pressing her breasts against Luisa’s hands. ‘You can touch, you know?’ she teased. Repeating what Luisa had said to her their first night together.

Luisa laughed, nipping at Rose’s lips. ‘I know that, but there are so many other places I can touch.’

‘I hope you don’t mind if I do some touching of my own then,’ Rose grinned, grabbing the hem of Luisa’s shirt and pulling it over Luisa’s head. ‘Still surprised you actually own something that is not low cut,’ Rose mused.

‘It’s winter,’ Luisa said, leaning in a little closer so Rose could reach around her to take her bra off.

‘In Miami,’ Rose laughed, running her hands down Luisa’s sides, finger brushing lightly against her breasts.

‘There’s a drop in temperature,’ Luisa pouted.

‘I’ll just have to warm you up then,’ Rose grinned, flipping them over in a surprise twist of their bodies.

Luisa laughed, she was obviously going to slow for Rose’s tastes.

‘I love you,’ Rose smiled warmly, almost shyly at her before starting a slow, reverent trail of soft kisses down Luisa’s chest, her hands working on getting Luisa out of her pants.

‘I love you too,’ Luisa smiled, the feeling warming her in much the same as Rose’s actions on her bare skin did while also being completely different.

Luisa’s intentions of taking it slow and exploring a little first were flung out of the window when Rose started kissing the inside of her thighs and Luisa realized just how long she had gone without sex and how much she wanted this.

She spread her legs wider as Rose peeled her underwear down her legs, the redhead settling between her thighs like she had never left, and it certainly felt like she had never been gone. Hitting every one of Luisa’s buttons with just a single stroke of her tongue.

Luisa lifted herself up on her elbows, watching Rose eat her out was a visual she had missed, but Rose was so exceptionally skilled at what she did it didn’t take long for her eyes to fall closed and her back to arch as the beginnings of an orgasm started to brew underneath her skin.

‘Rose, _fuck_ ,’ Luisa moaned as Rose fucked her with her tongue, licked at her folds and circled her clit, the one action seamlessly following the other so it seemed Rose was doing all at the same time.

Luisa could feel her muscles start to strain, her hands tightening in Rose’s red curls, needing just a little more before crashing into an ocean of pleasure.

A perfectly timed stroke of Rose’s tongue sent her sprawling over the edge, her muscles pulling taught and a guttural scream leaving her throat.

‘God, Rose,’ Luisa whispered hoarsely, having trouble opening her eyes all the way.

‘Good?’ Rose said as she crawled up Luisa’s body, her smug grin telling Luisa she knew it had been.

‘Yeah, good,’ Luisa smiled, dragging Rose down by her neck to kiss her, tasting herself on the redhead’s lips.

‘Good,’ Rose grinned, looking perfectly happy, happier than Luisa had ever seen her. And Luisa had to admit that she felt pretty damn happy too. But there was something that could make her even happier.

‘Come up here,’ Luisa grinned, pulling on Rose’s hips. ‘I want to taste you.’

Rose coyly pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes darkening with arousal as she moved up Luisa’s body, planting her knees on either side of Luisa’s head.

Luisa felt a twinge of jealousy as she moved Rose’s black lace thong to the side. Rose had worn it for someone else, but as soon as the feeling surfaced she pushed it away: Rose was in her bed, Rose loved _her_ , so it didn’t matter who Rose had dressed up for, she was the one that got to see it.

‘God, Luisa,’ Rose moaned, her knuckles turning white as she grabbed the headboard.

Luisa smiled, her fingers digging into Rose’s hips, pulling her even closer.

She ran her tongue through Rose’s folds a couple of times, spreading and tasting her arousal, making Rose moan and shiver above her.

‘Never stop,’ Rose whimpered as Luisa started fucking her with her tongue.

Luisa wasn’t planning on letting Rose go until the redhead was too tired to hold herself up, and even after that she was not going to let Rose leave, not ever again.

She soon got lost in Rose’s taste, got lost in pleasuring the gorgeous woman who was all hers now.

She sucked Rose’s clit between her lips, flicking her tongue against it a couple of times until Rose was moaning and cursing breathlessly, grinding herself down on Luisa’s face. A very clear sign that she was close to orgasm.

Luisa ran her tongue through Rose’s folds one last time before nibbling softly on Rose’s clit, sending Rose flying over the edge.

She peppered soft kisses on the inside of Rose’s thighs, massaging the bruises she had surely left on Rose’s hips with her fingers as Rose eased down from her high.

Half a minute later Rose’s muscles had unlocked enough for her to fall back on top of the sheets.

Luisa wiped her mouth with a self-satisfied grin; Rose looked pretty out of it, which meant she had done a good job.

‘Hey,’ she whispered, straddling Rose’s hips, stroking the marble hewn lines of her face.

‘How did you get _better_ at that?’ Rose murmured, running her fingers up Luisa’s arm and stroking down her back.

‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ Luisa grinned as an idea struck her. She moved her lips down from Rose’s jaw to her where her neck met her shoulder, kissing the skin softly before sucking it into her mouth, leaving a red mark that would soon turn purple. She had never been able to do that before as Rose had a boyfriend, and it was very satisfying to leave a mark on Rose’s otherwise flawless skin. ‘Seems you’re the one who’s going to need to wear a turtleneck to class tomorrow.’

‘About that,’ Rose smiled, seemingly not bothered by the purpling mark on her throat whatsoever. ‘We should probably talk about what happens now.’

Luisa could feel her relaxed, carefree feelings of bliss start to fade as Rose’s voice took on a serious edge. Because even now Rose was back and they were actually together _together,_ that didn’t change the fact that their relationship was still against university guidelines.

‘Oh, okay,’ Luisa nodded, laying back down on the mattress and staring up at the ceiling, not sure what was coming.

‘I want to date you. Really date you, not just meet you behind closed doors to have sex, although that is really nice too. I just want to take you out, too,’ Rose said, pushing herself up on her elbows to look at Luisa.

‘So you want the girlfriend experience?’ Luisa grinned, feeling a lot lighter, her blissful feeling returning; she had not expected Rose to say what she had just said.

‘Yes, I want you to be my girlfriend,’ Rose said, her face turning almost as red as her hair.

‘I would love to be your girlfriend,’ Luisa smiled warmly, stroking her thumb over Rose’s cheekbone. ‘But what about the rules? You are still my professor, professor,’ Luisa joked, not really feeling it. This stupid arbitrary rule had kept them apart long enough.

‘Rules are meant to be broken,’ Rose shrugged. ‘And I think you’re worth it. We just have to be careful, not flaunt it in everyone’s faces. But we are both adults, and we are not doing anything wrong,’ Rose said, sounding like she had given this a lot of thought.

‘You could lose your job,’ Luisa said, needing to know if Rose wasn’t just rushing into this because of a spur-of-the-moment decision.

‘You could be kicked out,’ Rose said, watching Luisa intently. ‘But it might not happen, they might not care, and I think you are worth taking that risk.’

‘I think you are worth it too,’ Luisa smiled. ‘So no more hiding then?’

‘No more hiding,’ Rose agreed. ‘Just taking it easy.’

‘So no kissing when I walk into class in the mornings?’ Luisa teased, drawing nonsensical patterns on Rose’s stomach.

‘No, I think that would be a little obvious,’ Rose laughed. ‘And we should probably stop having sex in my office too.’

‘But I like bending you over your desk, and _you_ like it when I bend you over your desk.’

‘I do like that, a lot,’ Rose grinned, pulling Luisa back on top of her. ‘But I think it might be smart to not do anything that might get me fired even faster, like having sex on the premises.’

‘Fine,’ Luisa sighed reluctantly, not really meaning it. If no more office sex was the price she had to pay for being able to date Rose, she would gladly pay it. And besides, she had the feeling that if she showed up at Rose’s office and maneuvered her back against that desk of hers Rose would have a hard time saying no.

‘Good,’ Rose smiled, pulling Luisa in for a kiss. ‘That’s all set then.’

‘So the only rules are no kissing in class and no sex in your office?’

‘Yes, that’s it,’ Rose smiled.

‘Sounds easy,’ Luisa grinned. ‘So sex in my bed is still good, right?’

‘Oh definitely,’ Rose smiled. ‘I think we have both recovered enough now.’

‘And there is all this lost time to make up for,’ Luisa husked, capturing Rose’s lips in a heated kiss.

* * *

‘Have I told you yet I am proud of you?’ Luisa whispered as she kissed Rose shoulder, hugging her closer to her own rapidly cooling body.

‘Why are you proud of me?’ Rose hummed, turning around in Luisa’s embrace.

‘I know how difficult this is for you. Being with me, being with a woman. I am proud of you,’ Luisa whispered, looking into Rose’s blue eyes to make sure Rose understood how much she meant it.

‘Being with you was never difficult, it just took me a little while to accept it wasn’t,’ Rose smiled.

‘And for that I am proud of you,’ Luisa smiled, brushing her lips softly against Rose’s.

‘I’m proud of you too,’ Rose hummed. ‘For letting me back into your life after what I did.’

‘Letting you walk out of my door after you said you loved me would have been stupid,’ Luisa shrugged.

‘I know from experience how stupid it is,’ Rose said, no longer meeting Luisa’s eyes. ‘I should have said that I loved you earlier.’

‘It’s okay,’ Luisa whispered, stroking Rose’s face with just the tips of her fingers. ‘You weren’t ready. And I probably wasn’t ready either. We’re together now, that’s all that matters.’

‘I love you,’ Rose whispered, her eyes falling closed as both physical and emotional exhaustion set in.

‘I love you too,’ Luisa smiled, wrapping her arm loosely around Rose’s waist, keeping her close.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, everything that needed discussing had been discussed, everything important had been said. And Luisa felt happy and warm and safe in the knowledge that Rose was here, in her bed, back in her life. And that they would be able to have what she had never thought possible, had never thought she wanted: a real relationship.

She fell asleep with Rose still in her arms, knowing she would still be there when she woke up in the morning.

* * *

Luisa smacked her lips a couple of times as she blindly searched the bed for Rose’s warm body, it was only upon opening her eyes, blinking against the harsh sunlight shining through her open curtains, that she found she was in bed alone.

Panick seized her heart, her mind immediately supplying a 100 different reasons for her waking up alone. Rose had come to her senses, had realized that she didn’t love her, that she couldn’t do this, that the risk was too great and that she wasn’t worth it. All of that shot through her head before she realized she could hear her shower running in the bathroom.

She sucked in a calming breath; Rose hadn’t left her; she was just taking a shower. Her mind was just playing tricks on her.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she took a moment for her heartrate to return to normal before walking into the bathroom, joining Rose underneath the warm spray of the shower.

‘I thought you had left,’ she whispered, burying her face in the crook of Rose’s neck, her nose resting on the by now dark purple hickey she had sucked on Rose’s collarbone the previous night.

‘I didn’t,’ Rose said, wrapping her arms around Luisa’s waist, understanding her need to be reassured and offering it quietly.

Luisa sighed, there were obviously still some trust issues to work through, but she didn’t want to think about that right now.

‘Why are you awake?’ Luisa murmured, running her hands over Rose’s slick skin, settling on her ass.

‘Because I have to teach a class in an hour,’ Rose smiled, prying Luisa’s hands off her ass and moving them to her hips instead.

‘Do you have to go and teach it?’ Luisa whined. ‘It’s just ethics, no one will be there anyway.’

‘Sadly I do,’ Rose smiled, brushing wet locks off hair away from Luisa’s face, lifting her chin with one finger. ‘But we can go do something after class tonight.’

‘Like a date?’ Luisa asked, perking up immediately.

‘Yes, like a date,’ Rose smiled. ‘As I said last night, I no longer want to hide, I want to date you, _really_ date you.’

‘I would like that too,’ Luisa smiled, happy Rose hadn’t changed her mind about that.

‘So where do you want to go?’ Rose asked, squeezing some shampoo into her hand before massaging it into her hair, Luisa’s arms still wrapped around her waist.

‘Mmh, I don’t know,’ Luisa hummed, kissing Rose throat. ‘You pick, you asked me out after all,’ she grinned.

‘How about dinner? I know a good restaurant not far from here,’ Rose smiled.

‘Dinner sounds nice,’ Luisa smirked, dropping down to her knees in front of Rose.

‘Luisa,’ Rose warned. ‘I have to leave soon.’

‘I’ll be quick,’ Luisa grinned, hooking one of Rose’s legs over her shoulder. ‘Can’t let you leave just yet…’

* * *

‘I’ll pick you up after my Christmas thing tonight,’ Rose said, putting her hair up in a messy bun, not having enough time to fix it properly. ‘Wear something nice,’ she said as she pressed a quick kiss against Luisa’s lips.

‘I will,’ Luisa smiled, letting Rose’s hand slowly trail from her own. ‘See you for our date tonight, _professor_.’ Luisa couldn’t help but tease a little, but Rose didn’t seem to mind.

‘See you tonight, miss Alver,’ Rose grinned, leaning in to steal one last quick kiss before rushing out the door to make it to her classroom by 9.

Luisa smiled to herself as she closed the door, already planning what to wear to her first real date with Rose that night, she had the feeling it was going to be great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. Things are finally looking up for our student/professor duo, so next week we'll get to see their real first date, see you then (hopefully). 
> 
> Comments are really helpful and always lovely to get! Thank you for reading and your continued support for this fic!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! My first update of the year had to be Ethics, of course. Sorry it took so long, but it is here now: their long awaited first date!
> 
> Enjoy!

Luisa felt strangely nervous as she stood in front of her closet, elated, but definitely nervous.

There was a pile of already discarded dresses on her bed. None of them good enough or special enough for a first date with Rose. She had either already seen her in them, or they were just _wrong_.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t put any effort into her dates with other women, she had, of course she had. But this was _Rose_. And Rose was taking her to a nice restaurant, so she wanted to wear something nice. But nothing that she owned was suitable.

She checked her phone, finding a text from Rose saying she would be there in twenty minutes; sent 15 minutes ago.

Groaning, Luisa went back to her closet, sorting through her dresses, hoping to find one she had forgotten about.

‘Luisa?’ Rose’s voice carried through the door, accompanied by a knock.

Luisa sighed, throwing one last desperate look at the closet, but instead of throwing on a random dress she decided to open the door in her underwear and just let Rose pick something for her.

‘Hey…’ Rose trailed off. ‘You look nice,’ she laughed, running her eyes up Luisa’s scarcely clad body. ‘I don’t know if they will let you into the restaurant like this, though.’

‘Funny,’ Luisa said, rolling her eyes. Pulling Rose into her room. ‘ _You_ , however, do look nice,’ she said. Rose was wearing a shiny black dress that was modestly cut but somehow still looked sinful on her.

Luisa pushed up on her toes, tangling one hand in Rose’s hair, settling the other on her waist as she leaned in for a kiss.

Rose’s hands on her bare skin were electric, softly stroking her hipbones, her fingers lingering for a while after she had already pulled away from the kiss.

‘Are you planning to get dressed? Because I really want to take you out and I have the feeling that is not going to happen if you don’t put something on.’

‘I have nothing to put on. You pick something,’ Luisa said sitting down on the edge of her bed, crossing her legs as she watched Rose.

‘What’s wrong with this?’ Rose said, holding up a yellow dress.

‘You have already seen me in it, and it is not really a date dress. What you’re wearing is a date dress. What you’re holding a summer dress.’

‘I like it,’ Rose shrugged. ‘But alright.’

‘I want to wear something nice to our first date.’

‘I appreciate the effort,’ Rose laughed.

‘Do you have glitter in your hair?’ Luisa said, tilting her head to the side as she saw pieces of shiny silver and gold paper stuck in Rose’s curls.

‘The staff Christmas party got a little wild,’ Rose laughed, running a hand through her hair, shaking loose the glitter. ‘I got pelted with glitter when I left early.’

‘Sounds fun, you could have stayed, you know?’ Luisa said.

‘I would rather go out with you,’ Rose smiled. ‘I have waited long enough to take you on a first date. I don’t want to wait any longer.’

Luisa smiled, she was glad Rose still thought about it that way, that she wasn’t nervous about this being her first date with a woman.

‘How about this one?’ Rose said, holding up a flowy pink dress.

‘I have way hotter dresses than that,’ Luisa laughed.

‘I like this one, put it on please?’ Rose asked, smiling sweetly.

‘Fine,’ Luisa sighed, taking the dress from Rose and putting it on.

‘Beautiful,’ Rose smiled.

‘Really? You like this one?’

‘It’s you,’ Rose said, ‘that’s why I like it.’

Luisa laughed, throwing her arms around Rose’s neck. ‘You’re sweet. Which is a strange thing to say to a woman who looks like you do. I mean, you should be a stone cold bitch. It is unfair you look like this _and_ are nice and sweet and charming.’

‘You think I am all that, huh?’ Rose teased with a smile, swaying Luisa in her arms.

‘I do, actually,’ Luisa smiled. ‘I have never met anyone like you.’ She paused for a moment, looking away almost shyly. She had always worn her heart on her sleeve, but one thing she didn’t do was fall hard and fast for someone, except for Rose.

Rose had wormed her way into Luisa’s heart like no one else had before, and from that position she had managed to hurt her like no one else had before. And Luisa was no stranger to heartbreak.

So while she was happy to have Rose back, it was still scary to open her heart again, to open it to the possibility of getting hurt again.

‘I love you, Rose,’ Luisa said softly, meeting Rose’s bright eyes, seeing her own vulnerability mirrored there.

‘I love you too, Luisa,’ Rose said. ‘You are the singularly most surprising person I have ever met.’

Luisa chuckled, burying her face in the crook of Rose’s neck. After all, you can’t love someone without risking getting hurt.

‘Let’s go eat,’ Rose said, her smile as radiant as ever.

* * *

They walked to the restaurant, their hands brushing together in time with their steps.

Rose mentally tried to work up the courage to tangle their hands together. She knew she could do it, and she wanted to do it, and yet…

‘Luisa,’ Rose started, running a hand through her hair. ‘Could you…’ she said, looking down at their hands.

‘Hold yours?’ Luisa smiled gently.

‘Yes,’ Rose nodded.

Luisa squeezed her hand when she laced their fingers together.

‘I wasn’t sure if you wanted...’

‘I wasn’t sure if I could…’ they said simultaneously, starting to laugh.

‘You first,’ Luisa said, squeezing her hand again.

‘I just need your help a little, with things like this,’ Rose said, holding their linked hands up. ‘It’s still, difficult, I guess.’

‘It will be okay,’ Luisa smiled, kissing Rose’s knuckles softly before rubbing her thumb across them as she dropped their linked hands back down. ‘You can’t expect to just forget about 14 years of trauma.’

‘Apparently not,’ Rose sighed. She truly thought she had been okay; Kate had said the same thing. And she wanted so badly to be okay. She wanted this. But of course it wasn’t that easy.

‘It will be okay. It will just take some time. And in the meantime we’ll just take it easy.’

‘I am glad you are part of that “we”,’ Rose smiled, slowly easing up.

‘I am glad of that too,’ Luisa laughed.

They walked in silence for a while, lost in thought, their hands still linked between them.

‘We’re here,’ Rose said as they stopped in front of the restaurant, the green awning stretching out above them, displaying the name of the restaurant in golden letters.

‘I don’t think I have ever been here before,’ Luisa said.

‘Me neither, I have been wanting to go, but never have,’ Rose said. It was the truth, but the reason she had chosen this particular restaurant was because it was one of the only restaurants in the area where she hadn’t eaten with Daniel.

‘Well, let’s go then,’ Luisa smiled.

‘I have a reservation under Ruvelle?’ Rose said to the waitress at the front desk.

‘Yes, reservation for two,’ the waitress said, ‘follow me.’

‘It looks nice,’ Luisa smiled. ‘Fancy.’

‘Well, I didn’t have you dress up just because I like looking at your legs in that dress,’ Rose smiled, feeling more at ease now that they were off the streets.

‘But you _do_ like looking at my legs,’ Luisa grinned, brushing her leg softly against Rose’s underneath the table.

‘I do,’ Rose smiled, leaning over the table to claps Luisa’s hands in her own.

‘Well, you have amazing legs too,’ Luisa smiled.

A second waitress arriving at their table put a pause on the flirting for now, handing them their menus.

‘Would you like to see the wine list?’ the waitress asked.

‘No, thank you,’ Rose smiled politely. ‘We won’t be drinking tonight.’

The waitress nodded in understanding. ‘Can I get you something else to drink.’

‘Water would be great, thank you,’ Luisa said.

‘The same for me, please.’

They waited for the waitress to leave before continuing with their conversation.

‘Well, that is the first time I have ever said no to the wine list in a restaurant,’ Luisa sighed.

Rose flipped her hand palm up on the table, silently inviting Luisa to take it. ‘This is the first time I have been in a restaurant with a woman as my date,’ she smiled. ‘It’s a night for many firsts.’

Luisa laughed. ‘Maybe I should order something weird then, just to keep the theme going.’

‘Weird like what?’ Rose asked, absentmindedly rubbing her thumb over Luisa’s knuckles as she leafed through her own menu.

‘I don’t know, something I would never order.’

‘Like a vegetarian dish,’ Rose said, teasingly raising an eyebrow. She still hadn’t forgotten about the lack of vegetables in Luisa’s diet.

‘Yes, like that,’ Luisa laughed, squeezing Rose’s hand. ‘And since I stopped drinking cocktails, my fruit intake has been dramatically lowered. I do miss all those cherries.’

Now it was Rose’s turn to laugh. ‘They definitely served their purpose,’ she smiled, thinking back to their first encounter where things had just been nice and uncomplicated. Things were still a little complicated now, they were, however, also nice again.

‘You order for me,’ Luisa said as she closed her menu with a sigh. ‘I can’t decide.’

The corner of Rose’s lips curled up into a smirk. ‘And you are usually so very certain about what you want.’

Luisa had the good grace to blush. Apparently remembering the same low-cut dresses and teasing smiles she had worn during her pursuit of Rose months ago.

‘I am still sorry about that. I was acting like a spoiled brat.’

‘If there is one thing you are not, it’s a spoiled brat,’ Rose smiled kindly, playfully nudging Luisa underneath the table. ‘Everything you have now you fought for, that’s the very opposite of being a brat,’ Rose said sincerely.

Luisa smiled bashfully. ‘Just pick something to eat, will you?’

‘Why don’t we just have their set menu for the day? It has plenty of vegetables,’ Rose joked as she showed the menu to Luisa.

‘Yeah, sounds nice,’ Luisa nodded. ‘I think I’ll have it with the fish.’

Rose nodded, closing her own menu.

They lapsed into silence as they waited for the waitress to return. But it wasn’t an awkward first date silence in which neither one knew what to say. It was a comfortable silence as they looked at each other in the candlelight.

Rose was thinking about how long it took for them to end up here, and how, in hindsight, it had been inevitable that they had.

‘We are kind of doing this whole thing backwards, aren’t we?’ Luisa said laughingly after Rose placed their order.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, the first time we met we had sex, then we said that we loved each other, and now we are on a first date.’

Rose laughed. ‘Screw convention, right?’

‘I will drink to that,’ Luisa laughed as she raised her glass.

‘To a great first date,’ Rose added.

‘To many more great dates,’ Luisa smiled as they toasted.

‘So, have you told your brother you’re going out with me again?’ Rose asked after taking a sip from her drink.

‘No, why do you ask?’ Luisa said, one eyebrow raised.

‘Because yesterday I got the feeling he didn’t like me very much.’

‘He just knows what I told him, which honestly doesn’t make you look great, but he doesn’t understand the situation. He will turn around once I tell him,’ Luisa said. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ she smiled, reaching out to squeeze her hand.

‘I am not worried about it. I don’t need his forgiveness, I just need yours,’ Rose smiled softly.

‘You don’t have to worry about that either,’ Luisa smiled. ‘But let’s eat. I am starving,’ she said as the waitress put the first course down in front of them.

* * *

Luisa couldn’t help but smile as she looked at Rose sitting across from her. They were waiting for their desserts now, and throughout the dinner Luisa had started to see flashes of the Rose she had met that night in a girl bar, months ago. The relaxed, confident, smiling Rose she had only seen flashes off since that night.

Rose had lost her relaxed side when they found out she was her professor, and she had lost her confident side a couple of weeks ago when falling for Luisa made her question everything. Somewhere in between she had stopped smiling as everything became increasingly complicated. She had still been Rose of course, just stricter and more closed off. Luisa was glad to see those characteristics weren’t there to stay.

‘So after this are you taking me back home?’ Luisa asked as she took a bite of her dessert, like all courses before it, it tasted heavenly.

‘If you want to,’ Rose said, her lips curving upwards as she knew what Luisa’s answer was going to be.

‘I don’t really want this date to end yet,’ Luisa smirked, offering Rose a bite of her dessert, not fully extending her arm so Rose had to lean over the table, the tight dress she was wearing beautifully showing off the tops of her breasts.

‘Delicious,’ Rose said as she leaned back into her chair, grinning as she noticed where Luisa’s eyes were focused. Playfully provoking Luisa further as she ran her hand down her neckline, repositioning her dress a little.

‘Yes, they are,’ Luisa said distractedly, her mind already somewhere else. Her brain only catching up with her mouth as Rose started laughing. ‘I mean, _it_ is. This ice cream is delicious,’ she said, taking another bite of her dessert to hide her embarrassment.

‘Want to try mine?’ Rose said, holding out a spoonful of her own ice cream. Luisa once again looking past the utensil to stare at Rose’s chest.

‘Very much,’ Luisa smirked, this time not even pretending, keeping her eyes on Rose’s breasts as she leaned in to lick the bite of Rose’s ice cream off the spoon.

‘My place is closer,’ Rose said after she paid the bill, Luisa trying to get Rose to split it with her but Rose had been adamant.

‘And it has thicker walls,’ Luisa husked, leaning in to whisper the next part into Rose’s ear. ‘I plan to make you scream.’

Rose swallowed audibly. ‘Let’s go,’ she said, linking their hands together.

Luisa wasn’t sure if it was the thought of sex that made Rose bold enough to do that or if she was just getting more confident about openly displaying their relationship. Either way, she wasn’t going to complain.

Rose dragged her down the block obviously in a hurry, and Luisa was just as desperate to get her hands on Rose, but as she looked to the side and saw the waves glistening in the twilight she thought a small detour might be in order.

‘Let’s walk along the beach,’ she said, pulling Rose with her in the direction of the beach.

‘That’s the wrong way,’ Rose said, following Luisa none the less.

‘I know, but it will be romantic,’ Luisa smiled. ‘Come on!’

Rose just laughed and shook her head, following Luisa’s example and kicking off her heels, swinging them by the straps as she walked through the still warm sand to join Luisa at the waterline.

Luisa stood in the wet sand, smiling as the water washed over her feet, a shiver running up her spine as Rose stepped up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder.

Luisa leaned back against her, covering Rose’s hands with her own.

‘It’s beautiful,’ Rose said as she looked out over the bay, brushing her lips against the shell of Luisa’s ear.

It _was_ beautiful, with the many lights of the city reflecting on the soft waves and the white boats bobbing softly along. But Luisa couldn’t focus on the beauty of it.

Her mind was firmly preoccupied with the fact that Rose was here with her, wrapped around her to ward off the chill, _in public_.

Earlier today Rose had trouble holding her hand, and now she was openly embracing her and Luisa couldn’t be happier.

She hadn’t dared to dream that they could be like this. That they could go on dates, and flirt and that Rose would her in public like this. There was only one thing left to do.

Luisa turned around in Rose’s embrace. The waved playing around their ankles.

Rose smiled softly down at her as Luisa stroked a lock of hair away from her face.

‘I really want to kiss you now,’ she breathed, feeling the hot puffs of air from Rose’s exhales on her lips. Normally she wouldn’t ask, but she wasn’t sure if Rose would be comfortable with quite that much of a display of affection.

Rose smiled, cupping Luisa’s face softly, her thumbs brushing over her cheekbones. ‘You don’t have to ask anymore. I’m yours, Luisa. All yours.’

Luisa couldn’t help the wide smile that broke across her face as she leaned in to kiss Rose.

Their lips brushed together and Luisa felt like she was floating, indescribably happy even from a chaste kiss like this. Then Rose’s tongue ran over the seam of her lips, her teeth digging into Luisa’s lower lip, prying her mouth open so she could deepen the kiss.

Luisa felt like she might combust, she couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy. She smiled into the kiss, feeling Rose do the same.

The kiss didn’t last very long, the both of them smiling too wide to sustain it for long.

Luisa pulled away, trying to school her features into something more serious so she could try it again, because she really wanted to kiss Rose again. The redhead tasted of chocolate and cherry and the sharp expresso she had had before they left the restaurant.

She wanted to run her hands over Rose’s soft skin, over her cheeks, her arms, her neck. She wanted to be close to her, to run her fingers through Rose’s beautiful hair. She really wanted to kiss her again. But she just couldn’t stop smiling.

‘I love you,’ Rose said, stroking the side of Luisa’s face.

‘I love you, too,’ Luisa said, pushing up on her toes to brush her lips against Rose’s cheek.

They stood in the surf a moment longer, still tangled together in a tight embrace, neither wanting to let go of the other just yet.

They just looked at each other, Luisa seeing the light reflected in Rose’s light eyes, the emotions running behind the clear blue. This was worth it. Whatever it would cost her, it was all worth it. She’d never had such intense feelings for anyone else before.

A larger than usual wave sprung them apart, sending them running for the beach as the water suddenly rose past their knees.

They laughed as they reached dryer ground.

‘Well, that was unexpected,’ Rose laughed, wringing out the bottom of her dress which had gotten wet thanks to the wave. Consequentially exposing more of her long, toned legs.

‘It was kind of nice, actually,’ Luisa said, biting her lip as tried and failed to tear her eyes away from Rose’s fair skin, glistening from the salt water. ‘I needed to cool off a little,’ she admitted, finally meeting Rose’s eyes, noticing they too had darkened considerably.

‘Come on, let’s go home,’ Rose said, tangling their hands together again, starting down the beach, walking parallel to the water in the general direction of Rose’s apartment.

They lapsed back into a comfortable silence, Luisa’s mind already behind the closed door of Rose’s home. Thinking of all the things she wanted to do to the beautiful woman walking alongside her.

Rose was lost in a similar pensive silence, her thumb rubbing soft circles over Luisa’s knuckles. The motions drawing Luisa from her thoughts.

She looked at Rose, then down at their feet as they traversed the loose sand back towards the pavement.

‘You know, I have never walked along the beach with a date before,’ Luisa smiled.

‘Really?’ Rose smiled. ‘Never?’

‘Nope, never,’ Luisa grinned.

‘So what do you think?’ Rose asked, her lips curved up in another one of her beautiful smiles.

‘It’s nice. The waves, the sounds, not a lot of people, the sand. It’s calming, and romantic. I like it,’ Luisa nodded.

‘Wait until you drag all that sand into bed and see how you feel about it then.’

‘We could just take a shower beforehand,’ Luisa said, pulling Rose closer against her. Running a single finger down her sternum until it rested right between her breasts.

‘That might work,’ Rose grinned, pulling Luisa in for another kiss.

Luisa could once again feel herself get lost in it, in the way Rose smelled and tasted and moved against her and how Rose was _hers_ now. All hers.

They smiled goofily at each other as they pulled away, resting their foreheads together for a second. But the sweet kiss hadn’t curbed their arousal in the slightest, so Luisa turned around, needing to get Rose behind closed doors for the next part of their date.

She pulled on Rose’s hand as the redhead stood frozen beside her.

‘Rose?’ a man said, looking between Rose and herself.

Luisa knew she knew him, but in the low light of the street lamp ten feet away she couldn’t place him. She realized who he was a second after Rose dropped her hand from her grip and spoke.

‘Daniel.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Men always appear when you least want them to, don't they?  
> Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger. Let's just say my resolutions for 2017 are to update more regularly so it will hopefully soon be resolved. (I hope, you know how New Year's resolutions are)
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments are very welcome and much appreciated! Because how else will I know you still enjoy this fic?


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 2017 and I am on time! (I moved this fic to Sunday, so it's on time, don't call me out on this) Now let's hope this trend continues for the rest of the year.
> 
> Enjoy the resolution of the last cliffhanger!

Luisa didn’t know what to do, what to say. She just knew that they had the _worst_ luck in the entire universe. Because out of everybody in the city they could have run into tonight, it had to be Rose’s ex-boyfriend.

Daniel looked between them for a moment longer before resting his gaze on Luisa.

‘I know you,’ Daniel said as he pointed at her, his eyes narrowed.

‘Daniel, it’s not what it looks like,’ Rose said, finally unfreezing.

Luisa couldn’t help but laugh. It was _exactly_ what it looked like, and she couldn’t think of one single occasion that that line had actually worked. And it didn’t either this time.

‘We’ve met. You take Rose’s class,’ Daniel said, realization dawning on his face, widening his eyes. And then he laughed. The sound loud and grating, more pained than joyful. ‘Is this why you broke up with me? You’re fucking a student?’ Daniel said, his laugh taking on an angry edge. ‘This is great. Really fucking great, Rose.’

He took a step forward, Luisa grabbing Rose’s wrist and pulling her behind her. Daniel was angry and definitely not sober and she knew the things angry drunk men were capable off.

Rose shook herself free, stepping around Luisa to face Daniel.

‘It’s none of your business, Daniel,’ Rose said calmly. ‘We broke up. It doesn’t matter who I date.’

Daniel laughed the same humorless laugh again.

‘You said things weren’t working out between us. Is she the reason? Is she the reason?!’ Daniel yelled when Rose didn’t answer him immediately.

‘She had nothing to do with this, with us,’ Rose said, the muscles in her jaw tensed,

‘You were kissing her! She has something to do with this!’ Daniel said angrily.

‘It’s not about her, Daniel!’ Rose said, pacing a couple of steps. ‘I’m gay! I’m into women.’

Luisa raised an eyebrow in surprise, she had not expected Rose to come right out and say it. Especially not to Daniel.

‘What?’ Daniel said, somehow not having picked up on the fact that Rose kissing Luisa meant she was something else than straight.

‘I would never have grown to love you like you loved me, Daniel. I couldn’t. And it wasn’t fair to you.’

‘Two years, Rose! You led me on for two years! How was that fair?’

‘It wasn’t!’ Rose said, some desperation seeping into her voice, willing Daniel to understand. ‘But I wasn’t ready. And you were so nice, Daniel. And so very kind. And you liked me. And I didn’t think I was ever going to be ready. So I would rather life a lie with you than with someone else. What I felt for you, Daniel, was something very close to love. But it would never have been enough for you, and I think you knew that.’

Luisa had no idea how Rose did it but her sentences were perfectly crafted and words carefully chosen. She was humble, telling him the truth about herself while simultaneously making him feel better about their relationship and himself. And suddenly Luisa realized Rose must have been a really good lawyer. She had just told Daniel exactly what he needed to hear with zero preparation.

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Rose?’ Daniel said, physically deflating, his anger making way for sadness. And Luisa suddenly felt like she was intruding on an intimate moment between two lovers.

‘I should probably go,’ Luisa said softly.

‘No, stay. I have nothing more to say. Daniel, we are over. I may not have been completely honest with you about the reason we broke up, but I happy right now,’ she said as she grabbed Luisa’s hand. ‘And I want you to be happy, too. You’ll find the right girl one day. Someone who loves you as much as you deserve.’

Luisa couldn’t help but smile; it felt like a victory, however small, that Rose was picking her over Daniel.

‘I really loved you, Rose,’ Daniel said, sounding defeated.

‘And I am sorry for that,’ Rose said truthfully, patting Daniel’s arm before grabbing Luisa’s hand again, walking off the beach together and leaving Daniel on his own.

Luisa could see Rose shoulders sag and a tiredness set around her eyes the further away from the beach they got; her composure slowly breaking. And because of that Luisa felt like kissing Rose, not caring about the trouble it had landed them in before. Rose was being _vulnerable_ around her, daring to let her carefully constructed mask down and Luisa was so grateful that Rose felt comfortable enough around her to do that. So she really had no other choice but to press her lips against Rose’s in a deep kiss.

Rose immediately melted against her, breathing Luisa in. Pulling away only when she needed actual oxygen to fill her lungs.

‘What was that for?’ she asked with a soft smile.

Luisa opened her mouth to say something but she didn’t have the words. She was just so happy Rose trusted her this much, that she had chosen her instead of Daniel.

‘Because I love you,’ Luisa said with a smile. It was the best way she could describe the warm, fuzzy feeling in her chest and stomach. Love.

‘I love you too,’ Rose smiled, linking their hands together.

‘So do you think he is going to say anything?’ Luisa didn’t want to think about it but she had to ask.

‘Daniel?’ Rose asked. ‘No, he’s not going to say anything. He might be angry with me right now but he would never do that.’

‘Are you sure? He was okay with causing a scene in public.’

‘He was drunk, and needed to vent. He won’t tell,’ Rose said, sounding fairly certain.

‘How do you know?’ Luisa asked, worried that now she finally had Rose, she was going to lose her again. And she desperately wanted to prevent that.

‘I don’t,’ Rose smiled. ‘But I have to believe he won’t.’

‘You don’t strike me as a believer,’ Luisa said, looking up at Rose with questioning eyes.

‘I never was much of one, no,’ Rose smiled, stoking a lock of hair behind Luisa’s ear. ‘But you made me into one. I have to believe we will be okay.’

Luisa’s frown fell, a bright smile blooming on her face. Daniel’s sudden appearance had definitely ruined the ending of their first date, but maybe all was not lost, maybe they could salvage things.

‘Let’s go to your place, and finish this date,’ Luisa purred, teasingly running her fingers down the inside of Rose’s wrist before tangling their fingers together.

* * *

‘Last class of the year Thursday,’ Luisa sighed, turning on the soft sheets to face Rose. Her body still flushed with endorphins from the explosive ending of their first date.

‘Only if you pass your exam after the holidays,’ Rose smiled, pulling the sheets up around their cooling bodies.

‘Don’t worry, I will.’

‘You better, otherwise you won’t get rid of me for another year,’ Rose smiled, pressing a kiss to Luisa’s exposed shoulder.

‘So what are you doing for the holidays?’ Luisa asked, throwing her leg over Rose’s in an intimate but possessive gesture.

‘Nothing,’ Rose admitted. Her tone even and strong, but Luisa could detect a hint of sadness in her eyes.

‘No family to see?’

‘They don’t want to see me, and I don’t want to see them,’ Rose said coolly, turning away from Luisa, staring up the ceiling.

Luisa wanted to hit herself, she knew Rose had a strained relationship with her homophobic parents and that it was not a great subject for pillow talk.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up,’ Luisa said, softly touching Rose’s arm, hoping she hadn’t ruined the mood.

‘It’s okay. I am used to spending Christmas alone,’ Rose said, turning back towards Luisa.

‘Spend it with me?’ Luisa asked shyly.

‘What, with your parents?’ Rose asked, eyebrow raised in question.

‘No, just with me,’ Luisa smiled. ‘Christmas at the Marbella is just dinner with my father, his latest wife, and my brother. He then gives us a cheque and we can buy our own presents. Spending Christmas with you will be a lot more fun, if you don’t mind of course,’ Luisa said hopefully.

‘It does sound fun,’ Rose said, a small smile lifting the corners of her lips, making Luisa feel more at ease.

‘So is that a yes?’ Luisa grinned, swinging herself on top of Rose, hovering over her, their faces separated by only a couple of inches of air.

‘Luisa, would you like to spend Christmas with me?’ Rose asked formally, her blue eyes sparkling happily, earlier sorrow forgotten.

‘On one condition. You get a Christmas tree in here. A real one,’ Luisa grinned.

‘I think I can swing that,’ Rose laughed, tangling her hands in Luisa’s hair and pulling her in for a kiss.

* * *

‘Luisa,’ Rose whispered, pulling Luisa from the recesses of sleep.

‘Mmmh, what?’ Luisa muttered sleepily, turning to the sound of Rose’s voice, blinking open her eyes to find Rose already fully dressed.

‘I have to go teach an ethics class,’ Rose said, amused as Luisa rubbed her eyes and stretched. ‘You’re welcome to stay here until you need to leave for your own classes, there’s food in the fridge, make yourself at home. Just pull the door closed when you leave.’

Luisa nodded sleepily. ‘Have fun at work. We’ll text,’ Luisa said as she dragged Rose in to a closemouthed kiss.

‘Love you,’ Rose murmured against her lips.

‘Love you, too,’ Luisa said, already back asleep before Rose had even left the room.

She woke up for real an hour later, a little disoriented as to where she was and why Rose wasn’t there. But as she picked up the traces of Rose’s floral shampoo on the sheets, she remembered Rose had left to go to work.

She smiled as she stretched her arms above her head. It was a little strange to be in Rose’s apartment without the redhead there with her. But it was kind of domestic, Luisa thought as she made her way into Rose’s shower.

It made her smile, while before the thought of domesticity had literally send her screaming from this very apartment, but right now she couldn’t be happier to massage Rose’s shampoo into her hair, to dry off with Rose’s towel, to put on one of the redhead’s robes as she made her way to the kitchen to make herself some breakfast with the food from Rose’s fridge. It was just nice and comfortable.

After inhaling a bowl and a half of Rose’s sugarless cereal (they were really going to have a talk about that if she was going to spend more time here), she made her way back to the bedroom, picking her dress off the floor before thinking better of it. Rose had said to make herself at home, and she could really use some clean clothes.

‘I knew it,’ Luisa said triumphantly as she snooped through Rose’s closet, finding a whole stack of neatly folded flannels. ‘So gay, Rose,’ she smiled to herself, picking a dark blue one from the shelf, it was soft to the touch and obviously well worn, Luisa wondered why she had never seen Rose in it. She also found a tank top and pair of jean cut-offs Rose was going to be answering serious questions when she saw her later today and decided to call it an outfit. She tied the flannel just below her breasts and made her way to class.

* * *

Rose took a deep breath as got out of her car; she had no idea what to expect. If to expect anything at all.

She had told Luisa she wasn’t worried about Daniel outing them to the board, but she wasn’t so sure now. Daniel had been angry and drunk last night, and that made for a dangerous combination.

So she was sort of expecting a summons to appear before the dean in her inbox, angry messages stapled to her door, slurs painted on her walls but there was none of that, her colleagues greeted her like usual and her office doors and walls were un-defaced.

‘Rose, wait up!’ Daniel yelled as he jogged through the hallway before she could disappear into her office.

Rose steeled herself, expecting another shouting match like last night.

‘Daniel, not now, please,’ Rose said, unlocking her door, trying to step inside but Daniel blocked her path. ‘I have a class to teach.’

‘I want to apologize for how I behaved last night, it was just-’

‘Not here,’ Rose hissed, opening her office door and allowing Daniel to step inside. Daniel knowing about her Luisa was bad enough, she didn’t need their other colleagues finding out.

‘I’m sorry for last night, Rose,’ Daniel said as the door fell closed behind them. ‘I was just surprised to see you kissing a girl so soon after we broke up.’

‘Woman,’ Rose said bitterly. ‘She’s a woman.’

‘She’s your student, Rose,’ Daniel said, his apologetic attitude disappearing for a second.

‘She’s 23. She’s and adult, Daniel. The fact that she takes my class changes nothing.’

‘She’s young. Very young.’

‘Don’t be a hypocrite,’ Rose sighed. ‘You’re four years older than I am, and the age-gap never bothered you when we were dating.’

‘No, apparently the thing that broke us apart is that you are a lesbian.’

‘Don’t- don’t use that word,’ Rose said, feeling bile rise in her throat.

‘What? Lesbian? It’s accurate, isn’t it? You said last night you were gay. That makes you a lesbian,’ Daniel said harshly.

Rose knew it wasn’t a bad word, she tentatively used it to describe herself. She had heard Luisa and Kate use it with fondness, proud of it. But the way Daniel said it, venomously, like it was an insult sat wrong with her. It was the way her parents said it, how Eva’s parents had said it, and it didn’t feel like something to be proud of then.

‘Then don’t use it like an insult,’ Rose said coolly.

‘I didn’t mean it like an insult. I just don’t understand!’ Daniel said, raising his voice again.

‘What don’t you understand, Daniel?’ Rose said, getting annoyed. ‘Why I would rather be with a woman than with a man? Why I would rather be with her than with you? I don’t know, Daniel! It’s just the way I am. Gay, a lesbian, whatever you want to call it in whatever tone of voice. I don’t like men, I like women. Which is why we were never going to work. That is all there is to it!’ Rose said, exasperated, needing Daniel to understand because she couldn’t explain herself any better.

‘And you like her, this student of yours?’ Daniel asked. ‘I mean, you must, you’re risking an awful lot for her. You could be fired if word got out.’

Rose clenched her jaw. ‘Is that a threat?’

‘What? No! I would never do that to you. I am not going to tell anyone, Rose. Please, believe me.’ Daniel said.

Daniel might have a bit of a temper; he had never been a very good liar. And Rose could see he was telling the truth now.

‘Then why ask?’ Rose asked, moving behind her desk.

‘Because I want to know if she’s worth it. Worth risking your career for.’

‘It’s worth it, Daniel. She’s worth it,’ Rose said, an unmeaning smile forming around her lips.

‘It’s nice to see you smile,’ Daniel said, smiling sadly. ‘You haven’t been doing much of that lately.’

‘She makes me happy, Dan,’ Rose said, she couldn’t help but smile wider. ‘And I am sorry that’s making you sad,’ she said as she walked around the desk, putting her hand on Daniel’s arm.

Daniel covered her hand with his. ‘I can see she makes you happy. And I am happy for you, truly.’

‘You’ll find someone that makes you happy,’ Rose smiled

‘That used to be you,’ Daniel said sadly.

‘And another woman will take my place and make you happier than I ever could. And she will say yes when you ask her to marry you,’ Rose smiled

Daniel smiled back. ‘I hope so. Sorry for being such an ass, I’ll get out of your hair now.’

‘I’m sorry too, Daniel,’ Rose said as she wrapped Daniel in a last hug.

‘One thing,’ Daniel said with his hand on the doorknob. ‘Were you already seeing her when we were still together?’

Rose bit the inside of her cheek, nodding slowly. There was no use in lying to Daniel now.

‘I thought so,’ Daniel nodded, giving her another sad smile. ‘Goodbye, Rose.’

‘Goodbye, Daniel,’ Rose said as the door fell closed behind him.

Rose felt a weight lift of her shoulders. At least Daniel was not going to be a problem.

She picked up her phone to tell Luisa the good news about Daniel when she saw the time and realized she was about to be late to her class. She quickly gathered the things she needed from her desk and made her way to class; she would text Luisa later. The brunette would still be asleep anyway.

* * *

Luisa @ 10:03 AM  
Can you explain to me, professor, why you own a pair of jean cut-offs?

Attached to the text was a picture of Luisa’s long, bronzed legs in said shorts.

Rose @ 10:04 AM  
Are you wearing my clothes, Ms. Alver?’

Luisa’s reply was instantaneous.

Luisa @ 10:04 AM  
Yes, I am. And shouldn’t you be teaching a class right now?’

Rose chuckled softly to herself, looking around to see what her students were up to.

Rose @ 10:04 AM  
We’re having a break. You caught me at just the right moment.

Luisa @ 10:05 AM  
Lucky me J So any comments about the cut-offs, professor?

Rose smiled, not knowing she needed any justification to owning jean shorts.

Rose @ 10:05 AM  
We live in Miami, it gets hot sometimes and shorts are comfortable?

Luisa @ 10:06 AM  
So what’s the justification for the stack of flannels in your closet? It is not like you need them for warmth

Rose bit her lip as Luisa send her another picture, this time from the waist up. Luisa was wearing a black tank top that was very tight on her and a blue flannel tied just below her breasts. Rose could feel her mouth go dry as she typed her response, not wanting to let Luisa knew how much she was affecting her right now.

Rose @ 10:06 AM  
Did you raid my closet?

Luisa @ 10:06 AM  
Maybe, what are you going to do about it?

Rose had a lot of idea about what she was going to do about it, but none of them were appropriate right now. But she couldn’t have Luisa feeling superior for the rest of the day.

Rose @ 10:07 AM  
I can help you out of them later today

Luisa @ 10:07 AM  
Does that mean I am going to see you later today?

Rose @ 10:07 AM  
I can be persuaded to clear my schedule

Luisa @ 10:07 AM  
You better, or you are never going to see this flannel again. And I don’t make empty threats. This shirt is mine

That reminded Rose of something.

Rose @ 10:07 AM  
Daniel stopped by my office this morning

Luisa @ 10:08 AM  
Oh.

Rose @ 10:08 AM  
It’s okay. He isn’t going to tell anyone. We just talked for a bit. Things I should have talked to him about earlier. But he won’t bother us anymore.

Luisa @ 10:08 AM  
Really?

Rose @ 10:08 AM  
Really

Luisa @ 10:08 AM  
Now you definitely need to come over. We need to celebrate!

Rose smiled, noticing the last of her students walking back into the room after their bathroom, snack or smoke break.

Rose @ 10:09 AM  
I will. I just have to teach a couple of classes before I steal my clothes back tonight

Luisa @ 10:09 AM  
It is almost Christmas, just cancel class. You will be everyone’s favorite teacher

Rose @ 10:09 AM  
Getting impatient?

Rose couldn’t wait for Luisa’s response, putting her phone in her bag to avoid getting distracted while she continued with her lecture.

* * *

Luisa knocked on Rose’s door later that day, bag of takeout in her hand. She had decided to pick up some food so they wouldn’t have to leave for that later.

‘Where you wearing that this morning?’ Luisa asked before Rose could even say anything.

‘Yes, I was,’ Rose said, looking down at her clothes in surprise.

‘Lucky for you I was still half asleep when you woke me this morning because I would not have let you leave if I had really seen this outfit,’ Luisa said, walking towards Rose, running her hands up the redhead’s freckle dusted and bare arms thanks to the black, sleeveless blouse she was wearing. The blouse was tucked into white jeans that were so tight they looked painted on. Her red hair had been pulled free from its bun, tumbling lazily over her shoulder.

‘You look good in my clothes,’ Rose smiled, briefly settling her hands on Luisa’s hips as she stole a quick kiss.

Before Luisa could deepen it and fulfill her plan of taking Rose on her couch like she had been thinking about all day, Rose pulled away, taking the bag of food from her hands and walked into the kitchen.

Luisa was too stunned to react for a moment, her hand still hovering in the air where Rose’s shoulder had been just moments before.

‘Rose!’ Luisa called out, confused and a little annoyed.

‘Yes?’ Rose said, popping around the kitchen doorway, licking her fingers.

‘Sex? Now, maybe?’

‘I’m hungry,’ Rose whined, pouting adorably. ‘Later.’

‘I can’t believe I am being turned down for Thai food,’ Luisa muttered to herself as she joined Rose in the kitchen.

‘It is very good Thai food,’ Rose said as she took a steaming container out of the microwave.

‘How on earth did you hear that?’ Luisa asked, impressed.

‘I’m a teacher. We hear everything,’ Rose joked, smiling still.

‘You seem very chipper today,’ Luisa teased as she accepted the food from Rose.

‘I am,’ Rose said, flopping down on her couch, tucking her feet under her and taking a bite of her food. Luisa had never seen Rose so relaxed and so at ease, so she was okay with postponing sex for a little while so she could cuddle up next to Rose on the couch and eat takeout while watching crappy television.

‘Because of Daniel deciding not to be a dick?’ Luisa asked after swallowing a bite of Thai food.

‘That and because the holidays are near and because you are here,’ Rose smiled warmly.

Luisa felt an equally warm feeling swell in her chest, leaning over to steal a kiss from Rose.

‘Me too,’ she smiled. She didn’t think there could be anything that could make her happier than she was right at this moment, and she had the feeling that if she asked Rose, she would say the same thing.

‘Last class tomorrow,’ Rose said, pulling Luisa’s feet into her lap.

‘Mhh, I am going to miss calling you professor, professor,’ Luisa grinned.

‘You can still call me that, you know,’ Rose smirked, putting her food down and swinging herself into Luisa’s lap.

‘I knew you liked it when I called you professor,’ Luisa grinned, pulling Rose in for a real kiss, not going to let her get away from her this time, or ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No cliffhanger this week! I know! I'm shocked too!
> 
> I hope you liked how I resolved it and that you all look forward to the next chapter!
> 
> Comments would make me very happy and a happy writer is a fast writer. So what have you got to lose?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that New Year's resolution didn't last very long (what else is new?). Regardless, as this is the 20th chapter I have a special treat for you! This chapter is 90% smut, 9% librarian jokes and 1% plot. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Luisa looked up as someone dropped a brown paper bag square in the middle of the book she had been reading. Her annoyed expression quickly turned into a smile as she saw just who had dropped it off.

Rose was sitting on the edge of her table, “casually” dressed in a black skirt and a blue cotton blouse, her hair falling in lazy ringlets around her shoulders, her trademark glasses perched on her nose, framing her sparkling blue eyes.

‘Hey,’ Luisa greeted as she took out her earphones. ‘I didn’t know you were stopping by.’

‘I thought you could use a study break,’ Rose said, looking around the mostly abandoned library before leaning in to softly kiss Luisa. ‘I brought you lunch,’ she said, motioning to paper bag sitting in the middle of her ethics book.

‘Thank you,’ Luisa smiled gratefully, opening the bag and taking out the chicken sandwich Rose had packed for her.

It was December 27th, and after a blissful two days spent at Rose’s house for Christmas, Luisa had relocated to the library to get some studying done. Rose’s apartment had proven itself very distracting and not a lot of studying had gotten done. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t grateful for Rose’s interruption now; she had been studying for hours and her stomach was about to digest itself, so the break was well-deserved.

‘How are we still not out of chicken?’ Luisa asked as she washed down a large bite of the sandwich with a sip of the thermos of tea Rose had also brought her.

‘That was the last of it,’ Rose smiled. ‘And this is _exactly_ the reason I refused to make a turkey. It is simply too much for two people.’

‘I like chicken better anyway, and with the cranberry sauce it still looked quite festive,’ Luisa nodded, inhaling her sandwich. She really hadn’t realized how hungry she had been.

‘It was the best Christmas I have ever had,’ Rose admitted with a smile.

‘Mmh, same,’ Luisa nodded, taking another sip of tea, taking a cookie vaguely resembling a star out of the lunch bag. She and Rose had a blast making them, neither of them having any experience with baking and mostly just messing around in the kitchen, getting covered in flour in the process. It had been fun, a lot of fun.

‘Do you want half?’ Luisa offered, already splitting the cookie and offering Rose part.

‘Thank you,’ Rose smiled, leaning in to steal another kiss. ‘How’s the studying going?’ she asked as she sat down on the chair next to Luisa.

‘Slowly. I just started on ethics,’ Luisa sighed, lacing her fingers between Rose’s, squeezing softly.

‘Isn’t it the first one you have?’

‘Yes, but it is also the easiest one,’ Luisa said, laughing as Rose gave her a look.

‘Shouldn’t you want to impress me?’

‘I think I already have,’ Luisa smiled, cupping Rose’s cheek and pulling her in to another kiss. Secure in the knowledge that no one was watching them; the library all but deserted for Christmas break.

Rose, however, wasn’t as comfortable. ‘Luisa,’ she said as she pulled away a little, resting her forehead against hers, ‘we can’t do this here.’

‘Look around,’ Luisa smiled. ‘We’re the only ones on this floor. We are two of the ten people in this library. No one is going to see us when I do this.’ She leaned in, raking her teeth over Rose’s bottom lip, biting it softly. ‘Or this,’ she whispered, pulling Rose’s blouse from her skirt and running her hands up underneath.

‘We can’t,’ Rose whispered back, her voice having taken on a familiar edge, her eyes darkening.

‘Yes we can, I have had sex in this library before. No one is going to know,’ Luisa said, continuing to run her hands up Rose’s waist.

‘Who did you have sex with before?’ Rose questioned as she pulled away a little, the tilt of her head betraying a slight possessiveness.

Luisa laughed, smoothing out the crease between Rose’s brows with her thumb. ‘Don’t be jealous, it was a year ago.’

‘I am not jealous!’ Rose scoffed, laughing to cover up the fact that she was actually a little jealous.

‘It’s okay, babe,’ Luisa smiled. ‘And if it makes any difference, I am about to make you come so much harder than she ever did.’ She pulled Rose off her chair as she said it, backing her up against the bookcase across from the desks. It was a blind corner created by another bookcase and it would hide them from even the most prying of eyes.

‘Luisa,’ Rose warned as the younger woman pressed her against the shelves containing books on the history of physics. Somehow the _most_ boring part of an already boring subject. Luisa was probably right in saying that they would never be found up here.

‘Yes?’ Luisa asked gleefully, brushing her lips against Rose’s throat, nipping at the soft, pale skin.

Rose’s breath hitched in her throat as Luisa bit down a little harder, whimpering as she soothed the marks with her tongue.

‘I thought we agreed no sex on university premises,’ Rose breathed, clutching at Luisa’s sweater as she sucked on her collarbone.

‘Do you really want me to stop?’ Luisa grinned, pressing her thigh against Rose’s center. Enjoying the shiver that wrecked Rose’s body.

‘No, don’t stop,’ Rose sighed, wrapping her arms around Luisa’s neck to keep her close.

‘You’ll have to keep quiet,’ Luisa whispered as Rose started grinding down on her thigh, breathy little moans escaping from her lips.

Rose bit her lip and nodded. Not certain she _could_ stay quiet but willing to take the risk because the alternative was that Luisa stopped and she was already too far gone for that. Also _she_ wanted to be the last woman Luisa fucked in this library, because she was _not at all_ jealous.

‘Good,’ Luisa said, kissing Rose’s pulse point, digging her teeth into the skin to test how well Rose could keep quiet.

Rose whimpered softly but was otherwise silent.

‘Good girl,’ Luisa praised hotly, hiking Rose’s skirt up around her hips before cupping her center over her underwear. As she felt how wet Rose already was, she wanted to kneel down and taste her, but as they were in public and that might be a little too exposed, she didn’t.

Instead she stroked Rose over her underwear a couple of times, teasing the normally collected and in control redhead until she was digging her nails into her shoulders.

‘You are enjoying making me stay quiet, don’t you,’ Rose groaned, bucking against Luisa’s hand.

‘A little bit,’ Luisa grinned, brushing her lips against Rose’s. ‘But you are doing great, baby.’

‘Shut up,’ Rose bit out. ‘And stop teasing.’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ Luisa winked, finally bypassing Rose underwear and circling her clit unimpeded.

‘Fuck you,’ Rose moaned, thrusting down on Luisa’s hand, biting her lip to keep from moaning too loudly.

‘Later,’ Luisa smirked, nipping and kissing Rose’s throat, slowly entering her with one finger. Then adding another as Rose bucked against her wantonly.

Rose moaned, and if a librarian had been anywhere near them, she would definitely have shushed them.

‘You have to stay quiet, babe,’ Luisa whispered.

‘You are making it… very hard,’ Rose panted, grabbing at the shelves behind her for something to hold on to, sending some books on the history of physics clattering to the ground.

Luisa clasped her hand over Rose’s mouth, momentarily slowing her thrusting as she listened if anyone was coming up to check out the noise they were making.

‘That was _not_ quiet, babe,’ Luisa husked, brushing a lock of hair out of Rose’s face. ‘You don’t want me to stop, do you?’

Rose glared at her, the effect not as strong as usual as her cheeks were flushed and her eyes darkened by arousal.

‘You are such a _tease_.’

‘You are just really beautiful when you are desperate.’ She picked up her pace after, drowning out Rose’s moans by pressing their mouths together. Kissing her deeply as she fucked her harder and faster

The twisting and scissoring motions of her fingers pushing Rose closer and closer to the edge.

‘Lu,’ Rose moaned breathlessly into the kiss. ‘Please.’

Luisa smiled, their teeth knocking together clumsily as she did so, but neither woman payed that much attention.

Rose because she was too busy trying to keep quiet and Luisa because she had promised Rose the best orgasm of her life and was intent on delivering.

She circled Rose’s clit with her thumb, continuing to thrust into her with two fingers.

Rose whimpered and moaned into the kiss, her inner muscles fluttering around Luisa’s fingers as she got closer to orgasm.

Luisa pressed closer against her, the bookcase starting to wobble under their combined weight. She fused their mouths together as she sent Rose soaring over the edge into what would have been a screaming orgasm if Rose hadn’t been told to stay quiet.

She could tell it had been a good orgasm by the way Rose’s knees buckled a little underneath her, her arms shaking as she tried to hold herself up and a beautiful pink blush coloring her cheeks and throat.

‘Maybe we should have sex in public more often,’ Luisa purred, as she sucked Rose’s arousal off her fingers. ‘It obviously works for you.’

‘Shut up,’ Rose said, her cheeks coloring a deeper red as she slowly pushed herself away from the bookshelf she had collapsed against, tentatively testing if her legs could hold her weight again.

‘Or maybe not; I do like hearing you scream my name,’ Luisa said teasingly, smoothing Rose’s skirt down and sashaying back to her desk, leaving Rose to follow on unsteady legs.

‘You’re not going to let me reciprocate?’ Rose asked as she sat down on the edge of the desk, brushing her thumb against Luisa’s lower lip to brush away the smudge of her lipstick. ‘I was quite looking forward to making you stay quiet while I fucked you.’

‘Rose!’ Luisa said, scandalized. ‘This is a place of quiet and learning! Not for you to live out your dirty librarian fantasies.’

Rose sighed, the prolonged rush of air seemingly saying “why do I love you again?”. ‘Librarian, really?’

‘You do have some kind of sexy librarian vibe going on with the glasses and pinned up hair,’ Luisa teased.

‘It seems you have been thinking about this a lot, Miss Alver,’ Rose husked, reaching up to pull the clip from her hair, peering over her glasses as she looked straight at Luisa.

‘Not at all,’ Luisa said, biting the inside of her cheek and looking back at her book, pretending that Rose doing exactly this had not long since been a fantasy of hers.

‘Mhh?’ Rose said, pushing herself into Luisa’s lap. ‘You shouldn’t lie to your girlfriend.’

‘This is exactly why I couldn’t study at your house,’ Luisa groaned.

‘I shall leave you to study then,’ Rose said as she got up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt and pushing her glasses back up her nose.

‘Who is a tease now?’ Luisa ground out as she caught Rose by the wrist.

‘Good luck studying,’ Rose smiled as she kissed Luisa soundly on the lips. ‘I expect at least an A on that test.’

‘I could get an A on that test while asleep.’

‘Really?’ Rose said, raising an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, thinks you say tend to stick around in my brain.’ She drew random spirals on the inside of Rose’s wrist. ‘Which is why it is very cruel of you to tease me while I am supposed to be studying.’

Rose laughed, looking down at their linked hands. ‘I will make good on my promise later tonight if you want,’ she smirked, toying with Luisa’s fingers.

‘I’ll be over in a couple of hours,’ Luisa smiled, already looking forward to that. ‘Thank you for stopping by. And the lunch.’

‘Love you,’ Rose said, leaning in for one last kiss.

‘Love you too.’

‘Good luck,’ Rose said as she grabbed her purse and walked out, hips swaying.

* * *

‘It’s open!’ Rose’s voice sounded from somewhere within her apartment after Luisa knocked on her door.

‘Honey, I’m home,’ Luisa joked, letting her book bag fall on the ground, her jaw following immediately afterwards.

Rose was sitting on the couch, reading a book. Which was not that unusual; she was a professor after all. What _was_ unusual was that she had obviously listened to Luisa’s early librarian comment and decide to bring it to life in its fullest extent.

Luisa didn’t know where to look, everything about Rose’s outfit was amazing. Her long legs were primly crossed, disappearing into the shortest, _tightest_ black skirt Luisa had ever seen. The position of her legs had caused the skirt to ride up her legs, exposing the edges of a garter belt.

Above what was now Luisa’s favorite skirt Rose was wearing a simple white blouse that had one too few buttons done up so the edges of the red lace bra she was wearing showed.

Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, her glasses perched on the tip of her nose and she was tapping a pen against her red-painted lips.

Luisa was still all taking it all in when Rose looked up from her book and _smirked_ at her.

She took her time placing a bookmark between the pages and putting the book to the side before getting up, advancing on Luisa like a predator advances on its prey and Luisa certainly felt like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to do anything but stare as Rose stopped right in front of her, cocking out her hip as she smiled at her.

‘Miss Alver,’ Rose said, more like purred.

Luisa swallowed to clear her dry throat, all the moisture in her body having rushed southwards to pool between her legs.

‘Y-yes?’ Luisa asked, her voice cracking like she was a teenage boy in the throes of puberty.

‘Are you going to pick up those books?’ Rose asked sweetly, taking off her glasses and biting sultrily on the temple tip.

Luisa nodded, retrieving her books (and her jaw) off the floor, letting her eyes travel over Rose’s legs as she straightened back up.

‘Follow me, Miss Alver,’ Rose husked, curling her finger and beckoning her to follow. ‘Take the books.’

Luisa nodded, mindlessly following Rose to the bedroom. Hypnotized by the sway of her hips and the curve of her ass in the tight, tight skirt. If she wasn’t already in love with the beautiful redhead, she would be now.

‘Put them down over there,’ Rose ordered, motioning to the dresser with her glasses.

Luisa did as she was told, nearly dropping the books again as she couldn’t take her eyes off Rose who pushed her glasses back onto her nose.

Rose looked down at her own breasts as she popped another button on her blouse, sauntering over to Luisa, who was still frozen in place.

When she was about a foot away – Luisa feeling like she might spontaneously combust – Rose reached behind herself and shook out her hair like she was starring in a L’Oréal commercial. At that point Luisa was fairly certain she had actually spontaneously combusted. Her body too small to contain the hot, expending energy coursing through her veins.

‘You look like you need to sit down,’ Rose grinned, stroking Luisa’s cheek with the back of her hand, literally oozing confidence and sex appeal and Luisa felt like she might melt. And that was _before_ Rose grabbed her lapels and pulled her in for a mind-blowing kiss.

She felt a little faint as Rose pulled away from the kiss, her legs feeling like they were about to give out. Her knees starting to buckle underneath her.

Luckily that was when Rose guided her to the foot of the bed and made her sit down, unluckily that was also when she straddled her hips and pulled her into another heated kiss.

‘God,’ Luisa whimpered as Rose pulled away from the kiss. Never before had she been so awestruck by another woman, been so turned on just by a person’s looks. Although Rose’s actions weren’t leaving her unaffected either.

‘Like it?’ Rose asked, the sparkle in her eyes telling Luisa she knew damn well what Luisa thought of her outfit.

‘Yeah, you could say that,’ Luisa nodded, finally finding her voice.

‘Hold these,’ Rose said, taking her glasses off once again, carefully placing them onto the tip of Luisa’s nose. She then took Luisa’s hands and placed them over her own lace-covered breasts.

That shocked Luisa a little out of the passive attitude she had adopted until this point, deciding that if Rose had bothered trying to bring her fantasy to life, the least she could do was participate in it.

She kneaded Rose’s breasts, kissing Rose’s throat as she threw her head back in bliss.

‘You’re gorgeous,’ she murmured against Rose’s skin, sucking a blemish on the otherwise flawless skin. ‘I love you.’

‘You’re about to love me even more,’ Rose said smugly, dropping to her knees in front of Luisa, looking up at her through her thick lashes, her beautiful curls cascading around her shoulders, and her shirt pulled open to reveal her sinful red bra standing out against her pale skin. The image was so beautiful and arousing Luisa felt like she was already balancing on the edge of an orgasm before Rose had even actually touched her.

‘Fuck me,’ Luisa whimpered as Rose peeled her pants down her legs. Luisa obediently lifting her hips to help her out.

‘I’m about to,’ Rose grinned wickedly. Luisa wondering if she had died and this was heaven because this was too good to be true.

‘God, Rose,’ Luisa panted as Rose pulled her underwear down her legs to join her pants on the floor.

‘Spread your legs a little wider for me, babe,’ Rose husked, kissing and massaging the inside of her thighs, Luisa mindlessly obliging with Rose’s request.

‘Good girl,’ Rose praised, sucking a hickey on Luisa’s thigh. ‘Now I want you to watch me, so keep your eyes open and your head up. Okay, baby?’

Luisa swallowed heavily and nodded, pushing Rose’s glasses into her hair so she could see clearly. She would have done everything Rose asked her at this point, and looking at her was going to be easy, because this was a moment she never wanted to forget. The image of Rose dressed as a sexy librarian, kneeling between her spread legs was something she needed to sear into her brain for eternity.

But with the first broad lick to her center it became very hard for Luisa to comply with Rose’s wishes.

She had been turned on before stepping through Rose’s apartment door that evening. Seeing Rose come at her hands, struggling to keep quiet would do that. Especially as she hadn’t let Rose return the favor after. But now, after all of Rose’s teasing she was about ready to come from that single stroke alone.

She twisted her hands in the sheets, forcing herself to keep looking at Rose instead of throwing her head back.

‘Keep looking at me,’ Rose encouraged, momentarily resting her chin on Luisa’s thigh. Her red lipstick having worn off and her chin and mouth shining with arousal; it only made her look more beautiful and Luisa more desperate to get off.

‘Rose, please,’ she whimpered, not above begging tonight, for once totally glad to give up all her control to Rose.

Rose smirked, kissing a trail up the inside of Luisa’s thigh before diving back in, lapping at her folds and fucking her deeply with her tongue.

Luisa’s muscles gave out after a couple strokes of Rose’s tongue, collapsing onto the bed.

Rose, thankfully, let the slight go, continuing making her squirm.

Luisa was grateful she didn’t have to stay quiet, because Rose was _really_ dedicated to making her scream and Luisa couldn’t help moan Rose’s name, cry out in pleasure and grind against Rose’s face.

‘Rose, fuck. I’m-,’ Luisa gasped arching off of the bed as Rose twirled her tongue around her painfully sensitive clit.

Rose seemed to understand the meaning behind Luisa’s fragmented sentence and sucked her clit between her lips, flicking it rapidly with her tongue.

Luisa cried out and after one of the longest build-ups in her life, fell screaming over the edge.

‘Fuck,’ Luisa moaned once the power of speech returned to her and her body stopped tingling. ‘Well, I will never be able to look at librarians the same way again.’

‘So you liked it then?’ Rose said, looking absolutely _debauched_ – her hair was a mess, her shirt wrinkles and hanging up, her skirt pushed so high up her hips it left very little to the imagination and showed off the obscenely sexual straps of her garter belt.

‘I love you,’ Luisa smiled, pulling Rose up next to her to kiss her.

‘I love you too,’ Rose smiled.

‘Now let’s get you out of these clothes,’ Luisa said, finishing unbuttoning Rose’s blouse and stripping her off everything except her bra, underwear and stockings. She also handed Rose her glasses back before they got lost between the sheets.

‘So what would you do if I turned my books in late?’ Luisa hummed, stroking Rose’s back lightly, grinning smugly. ‘Or if I talked too loudly in a quiet zone?’

‘Why don’t you find out?’ Rose grinned, straddling Luisa’s hips again.

* * *

‘You know; you can always become a sexy librarian if being a sexy professor doesn’t work out for you,’ Luisa mused as she played with Rose’s hair. They had now truly exhausted every possible librarian scenario and both felt sated and relaxed. Languidly relaxing in bed, bodies intertwined.

‘That is definitely something to keep in mind,’ Rose laughed, drawing nonsensical pattern on Luisa’s stomach. Laughing even harder when Luisa’s stomach growled loudly.

‘So, Chinese?’ Rose asked, already grabbing her phone off the night stand.

‘Yeah, sounds great,’ Luisa laughed, folding her hands behind her head. She could definitely use some food after all the physical activity they had been doing. ‘Can we get that one spicy shrimp thing? Rose?’ she said when Rose didn’t respond to her request, just staring blankly at her phone, looking paler than she had a second before.

‘Everything okay?’ Luisa asked as she sat up, putting her hand on Rose’s shoulder, frowning as Rose shrugged it off.

‘No, it’s not okay,’ Rose said, sounding defeated, thrusting her phone at Luisa and resting her head in her hands.

Luisa was confused at the sudden turnaround of the mood in the bedroom, until she saw what had spooked Rose so.

It was a text from Daniel, which wouldn’t have freaked Rose out by itself. but it was what the text showed that made Luisa’s heart beat in her throat.

Daniel had send Rose a screenshot of the university website and displayed squarely in the middle of the news bulletin was a picture. A picture clearly depicting the both of them sharing a kiss earlier that afternoon. It seemed they hadn’t been as alone in the library as they thought, because someone had caught them on camera, and subsequently exposed them for the whole university to see.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Laughs evilly* see you next chapter!
> 
> Screaming is always welcome, it fuels my writing, you know, like in Monsters Inc.\
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, first off, without the help of [TumblrHatesMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TumblrHatesMe) and [minipowdereddonuts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minipowdereddonuts) this chapter would never have gotten written and my laptop would be in a dumpster somewhere. So thank you two so much, seriously I couldn't have done it without you! Thank you! <3<3<3
> 
> To everyone else, thank you for being patient and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Luisa felt the faint hope she’d had that Rose had gone unrecognized by the photographer shatter into a thousand pieces as she scrolled down to the bottom of the picture to read the caption.

 _“Professor Ruvelle’s extracurricular activities.”_ It was not as smart as the poster probably thought it was, but Luisa couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Glad you think it’s funny,’ Rose snapped, glaring at Luisa as she got out of bed.

It wasn’t funny, it was the very opposite of funny, but what else could you do when your life was falling apart for the third time in two months.

‘You know what this means, right?’ Rose said, cinching her robe around her waist, her eyes flaring coldly, meaning it didn’t matter what it meant: she had already lost Rose.

Luisa looked away, chewing on the inside of her cheek as Rose ranted about ethics hearings and getting fired.

It was all just static to Luisa; Rose’s words not connecting with any meaning insdie her head. The only thing she could think about was that for two weeks she’d been happy and that now she was going to be alone again.

When the fog in her mind lifted a little and her muscles unfroze, she noticed that she was indeed alone in the room; Rose already gone.

She should have known this would happen, that this thing between them couldn’t last. That her happiness couldn’t last. Rose would never choose her; she would always leave. If it wasn’t now, it would be in the future. So for once Luisa decided she wasn’t going to wait around for that happen, this time she would leave. If they weren’t together anymore the university couldn’t fire Rose.

Slowly, willing her frozen limbs to function and her tears to remain at bay she got out of bed, gathering her clothes and getting dressed.

* * *

Rose closed her eyes as she curled her hands around the edge of the kitchen counter, sucking in a shuddering breath. She felt like she was 14 again. She had finally been happy, truly happy and now she could feel it all slipping away again, just like it had all those years ago.

She knew Luisa wasn’t Eve, that what had happened to her wouldn’t happen to Luisa. But she would still lose her. Whatever happened next she and Luisa would not be allowed to remain together.

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the counter tighter. This should never have happened. They should have been more careful; _she_ should have been more careful. She knew what would happen if they were ever found out and yet she had been so careless, had thrown all caution to the wind. She had been so stupid and now she was going to lose everything. Again.

She bit down on her lip as she racked her brain, there was very little she could do now. The picture was out there, her name underneath it. It might not be immediately obvious that Luisa was her student, but the picture had clearly been taken at the university library so it wouldn’t be long before people put two and two together and she was called before an ethics committee.

The irony of that didn’t escape her.

There had to be something she could do, something to cushion the blow. She couldn’t just do nothing. Maybe she could get the picture taken down, pass it off as a joke, as libel, as something other than it was.

She rapped her knuckles on the countertop, she should call IT. Get the picture taken down. Her privacy had been infringed upon enough as it was.

She walked back into the bedroom to get her phone, bumping into a fully dressed Luisa in the doorway.

‘Where are you going?’ Rose asked, confused.

‘Home. It is probably better if we aren’t seen together anymore,’ Luisa said, not meeting her eyes.

‘It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?’ Rose scoffed.

‘But it is not too late for us to break up,’ Luisa said bitterly as she brushed past Rose.

‘What?’ Rose said, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. She spun around, grabbing Luisa by the wrist.

‘Let me go,’ Luisa hissed, pulling herself free and stomping towards the front door.

‘No,’ Rose said, pressing the door closed before Luisa could slip through it. ‘What is going on? You want to break up?’

‘What other choice do we have, Rose? It’s over, we’re done,’ Luisa said, staring defiantly up at Rose. ‘So now let me go.’

‘No, I am not letting you walk out of here. I don’t want to break up with you, I won’t let you.’

‘Well, it isn’t up to you!’ Luisa said, her voice gaining in volume as she took a step away from Rose and the door.

‘It isn’t up to you either!’ Rose said, starting to get frustrated, Luisa wasn’t making any sense. ‘At least talk to me about it!’

‘What is there to talk about? It’s over. They know. They are going to make us break up anyway so why delay the inevitable?’

‘We don’t know that! For now, it is just a picture in a website. We can get it taken down and see what happens from there.’

‘I would rather not wait around here, if you don’t mind,’ Luisa said, her arms folded tightly across her chest, her expression unreadable.

‘Stop acting like a child, Luisa,’ Rose sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

‘Well, maybe I am a child!’ Luisa yelled. ‘But at least I am smart enough to know that when you are faced with the choice between keeping me or keeping your job it isn’t me you are going to pick.’

Rose gasped, taken aback by the anger in Luisa’s voice. ‘How would you know that? You barely know me!’ she bit out, getting exasperated.

‘Maybe I don’t know you because you won’t share anything about yourself! I tell you everything but you don’t reciprocate! You don’t see me as an equal. You just see me as something you can fix because you can’t fix yourself!’

Rose set her jaw. ‘That’s bullshit and you know it. I’m not the one that runs away at the first sign of intimacy!’

Luisa laughed, a pained joyless sound. ‘You don’t run? After our first real talk you brushed it off like it was nothing. You pretended it had never happened!’

‘We were both in a bad place that night. You were going through withdrawal and I was dealing with Daniel,’ Rose said, crossing her arms defensively.

‘That is exactly what I am talking about!’ Luisa yelled, something desperate settling over her features. ‘Daniel! You picked him over me! You picked your job over me! You picked Kate over me! You picked yourself over me every single time!’ Luisa shouted, her voice breaking. ‘You say I don’t know you, but I know you well enough to know you are never going to pick me! Just like everyone else…’ Tears sprang into Luisa’s eyes, her shoulders slumping forward.

‘Oh, Luisa,’ Rose said softly, Luisa’s erratic behavior suddenly making sense.

‘Don’t “Luisa” me,’ Luisa cried, the fight gone from her voice, wiping at her cheeks to remove the evidence of her tears. ‘Just let me go,’ she said, stepping towards the front door again.

‘I can’t,’ Rose said, keeping the door closed. ‘I can’t let you go when you think I wouldn’t choose you over my job in a heartbeat, because I would,’ Rose said firmly.

Luisa looked up at her disbelieving. ‘But…’

‘I love you, Luisa. I like my job, but I love you.’

Luisa swallowed, more tears making their way down her cheeks. ‘I’m scared…’ she whispered.

Rose stepped forward, wrapping Luisa in a tight hug. ‘I’m scared too,’ she whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Luisa’s head, stroking her back. ‘But I’ve got you. I pick you, Luisa. No matter what happens, I pick you.’

Luisa collapsed against her, sobbing into her shoulder.

They stood intertwined for a while, Rose holding Luisa tightly, never wanting to let her go.

‘I’m sorry,’ Luisa hiccupped as she pulled back a little, her eyes red from crying.

‘No, I’m sorry,’ Rose said as she brushed Luisa’s tears away, ‘for not letting you know how much you mean to me. For allowing you to think for even one second that I would abandon you when things got tough. We took the risk and it backfired, but you’re still worth it. Whatever happens, this, _you_ , are worth it.’

Luisa swallowed and nodded. ‘So what happens now?’

‘What happens now is that I am going to make us some food, we’re going to eat, take a shower and go to bed. We’ll see what can be done in the morning.’

‘What if there is nothing that we can do about it?’ she asked quietly, turning her dark eyes up to meet Rose’s.

‘Then we’ll deal with it,’ Rose smiled, brushing her lips softly against Luisa’s. ‘ _Together_.’

Luisa nodded, a watery smile forming around her lips. ‘Together.’

‘Come on,’ Rose said, lacing her fingers between Luisa’s and pulling her towards the kitchen. ‘Let’s eat something. It’s been a long day.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Luisa sighed as she sat down at the kitchen counter. ‘And it started off so well.’

Rose smiled, taking some eggs from the fridge, deciding an omelet would be both filling and quick. Because their fight might be over, some things that had been said required some follow up.

‘Here,’ Rose said, putting a glass of water of water in front of Luisa.

‘Thanks,’ Luisa said, lifting up her head and wrapping her hands around the glass. ‘Not the drink I want, but thanks.’

Rose flashed her a sympathetic smile. ‘Do you need to call Joan?’ The older woman had always been a great source of support and comfort to Luisa where her drinking was concerned.

‘No, I’m okay,’ Luisa said, taking a sip from her water. ‘I will go to a meeting tomorrow morning.’

‘Good,’ Rose said, adding some vegetables to the egg mixture frying in the pan. She turned back around to face Luisa. ‘I am not trying to fix you, Luisa. You’re not broken. But we all need some help sometimes.’

‘Then let me help you, too,’ Luisa said, her eyes soft.

‘I’m not very good at that, at letting other people so close.’

Luisa looked like she wanted to say something but Rose wasn’t done yet.

‘I’m trying, though. I trust you and I do not actively try to keep you out, I promise. It’s just, _difficult_ , for me. I’m not the most emotive person in the world, I know that. And sometimes I have trouble expressing what I feel. But that is not because of you, that’s because of me. You’re my equal in everything, Luisa,’ Rose said as she flipped the omelet in the pan.

‘I was angry, Rose. And afraid. I didn’t mean it. I know you don’t see me as just your student.’

‘Things said in anger often have a core of truth to them,’ Rose smiled.

Luisa smiled tiredly. ‘I suppose. But I didn’t mean what I said about breaking up.’

‘Good, I’m glad,’ Rose laughed, cutting the omelet in half and sliding it onto two plates, putting one down in front of Luisa and another in front of the empty chair next to her.

They ate in silence, Rose trying to find a way to bring up the most poignant point Luisa had brought up: the fear that she would leave her again.

She understood where Luisa was coming from, she’d just had no idea Luisa felt that way. Which bothered her.

‘Rose?’ Luisa asked after pushing most of her omelet around for a couple of minutes. ‘Can we go to bed?’

‘Of course,’ Rose said, she too would like to forget about this day. ‘Not hungry?’

‘Not really,’ Luisa shrugged.

‘Are you okay with taking a shower before bed, the warm water will do us good.’

‘Can we take a bath? I’m not sure I can stand up long enough.’

‘Of course we can,’ Rose said, leaning in closer to brush her lips against Luisa’s kiss. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ Luisa smiled, pulling Rose in for a real kiss, her hand cradling Rose’s jaw. The kiss conveyed everything she didn’t know how to say, everything she couldn’t say.

‘I’ll go run us a bath,’ Rose said as she got up, pressing another soft kiss to Luisa’s temple before leaving her alone in the kitchen.

* * *

Luisa played with her fork for a moment. She wasn’t used to this, to not ending a fight with a breakup. To making up, to talking things through. And she now felt guilty for thinking Rose would ever just leave her, it was just that she really wasn’t used to people not leaving her when things got hard.

She got up to join Rose in the bathroom, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist from behind resting her chin on her shoulder. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, it wasn’t an adequate apology but she didn’t know what else to say.

‘So am I,’ Rose said, turning around in Luisa’s arms to pull her in for another hug.

Luisa inhaled Rose’s scent deeply, letting it comfort her, letting it remind her that Rose was still here. And that no matter what happened next she would still be here.

‘Come on, let’s get in,’ Rose said, helping Luisa undress.

Luisa felt more tears well up in her eyes at how gentle Rose was being with her. How careful. She had said horrible things to Rose earlier and now Rose was here, making sure she was okay. And she couldn’t even bring herself to really talk to Rose, the same thing she had accused Rose of earlier.

‘You want to be the little spoon?’ Rose asked with a smile once they were both naked.

Luisa nodded, she quite liked the idea of sitting in the warm water with Rose’s arms around her for a while, and maybe not looking Rose in the face would make sharing her feelings easier.

She carefully got into the tub after Rose, reclining against the redhead’s chest. Rose wrapping her arms around her waist, resting them on her stomach.

Luisa wouldn’t have thought it possible that she could be this close to a naked Rose and not want to have sex with her, but after the day they’d just had she just wanted to be held for a while.

‘What you said, about me running away from intimacy,’ Luisa said after a while.

‘We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,’ Rose said, stroking Luisa’s bicep softly. ‘It’s been a long day.’

‘No, we should talk. I want to talk,’ Luisa said firmly, covering Rose’s hand with her own, lacing their fingers together.

‘You were right, that night when you made me dinner I did run. But not because I wasn’t ready, I _wanted_ what you were offering. I wanted it so much, but I couldn’t have it. Not past that night anyway. You were still with Daniel, and I was getting too attached to someone I couldn’t have. So I ran. And today, when it seemed like I might lose you again I did what I always do and I tried to run.’

‘You’re not going to lose me,’ Rose whispered, tightening her grip on Luisa a little. ‘No matter what happens next, I’ll be here.’

Luisa nodded. ‘I know that now. But in that moment, when you got up and left me alone in the bedroom after snapping at me, I was so scared you were leaving me.’

‘I am sorry I snapped at you, I shouldn’t have done that,’ Rose said, resting her head on Luisa’s shoulder. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.

‘You said you were scared too. Was it about losing your job?’

‘No.’ Rose shook her head. ‘It was about losing you like I lost Eve. Which I know is not like our situation now at all. But in that moment it was exactly like that. I was once again powerless to stay with the girl I loved. But then I remembered I do have the power to stay with you. I’m an adult now. There’s no reason to be afraid of that.’

Luisa chuckled. ‘It seems we were afraid of the same thing then.’

‘Seems so,’ Rose smiled. ‘I’m sorry I left you.’

‘I’m sorry I overreacted instead of talking to you.’

‘We’re both guilty of that,’ Rose said, placing a kiss behind Luisa’s ear. ‘All we saw was a picture of the two of us kissing. I haven’t been called before the board yet and you haven’t been suspended. For all we know we’ll just receive a slap on the wrist.’

‘Do you think that’s likely?’ Luisa asked, tilting her head back so she could look at Rose.

‘I have no idea. I have never heard of it happening before. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.’

‘Together,’ Luisa smiled. Feeling a lot calmer now. Rose wasn’t leaving, people knew but they might be okay. Maybe for once things would work out in her favor. After all, they had both actually opened up about what was bothering them. They were talking. And Luisa was grateful for that, even if the circumstances leading up to it had been far from ideal.

‘Let’s get out of this thing and go to bed,’ Rose said, tapping against the side of the tub with her knuckles.

‘One last thing, before we get out,’ Luisa said as she took a deep breath to steady herself. She had brushed past it before but today seemed like the day to air her hurts, and she didn’t want this particular one to fester inside her and make her do something stupid in the future.

‘Why didn’t you say you loved me back when I told you I loved you for the first time?’

Rose had briefly mentioned it but they had never talked about it since then, Luisa had brushed past it because she didn’t want to let Rose leave that night. But she needed to know.

‘I was scared. Scared of what it meant to love a woman. It was cowardly of me; I have no excuse. I should have told you then. I’m sorry.’

‘It hurt so much, to feel so much for someone and not have those feelings be returned,’ Luisa said, staring at a fixed spot on the wall.

‘I am so sorry, Luisa,’ Rose said softly. ‘I could see you were hurting but I wanted to protect myself more. I was selfish.’

Luisa nodded, tears burning in her eyes. She understood Rose’s difficult past with being gay, understood why it was hard for her. But that didn’t lessen the pain, but it also wouldn’t help to let their relationship be controlled by that one mistake now. She had been hurt but Rose had apologized. That was all that could be done about it.

‘I forgive you,’ Luisa said. ‘We’re here together now and I forgive you.’

‘Thank you,’ Rose breathed, her voice barely more than a whisper, and when they climbed out the tub Luisa could have sworn she saw water blinking in the corners of Rose’s blue eyes that did not come from the bath.

‘What time is it?’ Luisa asked as she put on one of Rose’s shirts. It was really soft and smelled like Rose and it made her feel warm and safe.

‘Nearly 3 AM.’

‘No wonder I am so tired,’ Luisa yawned as she crawled underneath the sheets, Rose joining her moments later.

‘Let’s sleep then,’ Rose said, throwing her arm over Luisa’s waist as she pressed up behind her.

‘Don’t get used to being the big spoon,’ Luisa muttered, her eyes already falling closed.

‘I won’t. Although I kind of like you being my little spoon,’ Rose whispered, nuzzling the back of Luisa’s neck.

Luisa liked it too, it felt safe in Rose’s arms. And after the last couple of hours she needed this, to have Rose close.

‘Sleep, tomorrow is a new day,’ Rose breathed.

 A new day that very likely held new horrors in store for them, but at least now Luisa could be sure she would face them together with Rose.

Within minutes she fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep, Rose’s arm safely wrapped around her.

* * *

Rose heard Luisa’s breathing even out beside her, she waited for another couple of minutes to make sure she was really asleep before gently moving away from her.

She pressed a soft kiss to Luisa’s shoulder and then silently got out of bed, sneaking into the living room. She was glad Luisa was asleep and that they had talked things through between them. But she couldn’t sleep. Not yet anyway.

She might have reassured Luisa that things would be fine even now that their relationship was public knowledge. But she wasn’t so sure and she wasn’t quite ready to give up without a fight. She would pick Luisa over her job every day, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t ready to fight for both.

While she was a professor nowadays, she had been a very skilled lawyer prior, and she was not going to go down without a fight. Not now and not ever.

She opened up her laptop, her first order of business was taking down their picture on the university’s website, the less people saw it the better. Next, she would figure out of anything like this had happened before and how she could best fight it.

It was going to be a long night…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I always say this, but _please_ leave a comment. It means so much to me. It is the only way I can tell if you liked this chapter, and I have never needed feedback more than I do now, this chapter has seen three rewrites and a couple of near mental breakdowns and I am still not sure I actually like it. So please tell me what you think, even if it is just a thumbs up or a smiley (or a thumbs down and a sad smiley). This fandom keeps getting smaller (and it was never big to begin with) so we should all stick together, yeah?
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope the next chapter will go a little smoother.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pretends I am not two months late* Hey guys! Lovely weather we're having right? 
> 
> So I obviously had some issues with writing (and tbh with the ship) for the last couple of months, still not completely over that but I am trying so here you go!
> 
> To make up for my long absence have some smut and fluff!

Rose groaned as she woke up, immediately reaching back to massage her sore neck as she straightened up. It seems she had fallen asleep at her desk, something that had not happened since studying for the LSAT’s.

She ran her finger across the touchpad of her laptop, waking the device up from sleep to check the time.

6:20 AM.

That gave her two options: she could make a pot of coffee and continue working on her strategy to avoid getting fired, or she could crawl into bed next to Luisa and get some real sleep.

It truly wasn’t a hard choice to make.

She quietly padded into the bedroom, sliding in under the covers next to a still sleeping Luisa.

The younger woman sighed softly as Rose swung an arm around her middle, cuddling up close to her as she closed her eyes, hoping to get a few winks of sleep herself.

‘Where have you been?’ Luisa whispered sleepily, pulling Rose’s arm a little tighter around her, pressing her back against Rose’s front.

‘Go back to sleep,’ Rose whispered back, brushing her lips against the shell of Luisa’s ear. ‘It’s still early.’

‘Rose, where were you? I know you haven’t been in bed all night,’ Luisa said, sounding more awake now.

Rose sighed, loosening her grip and lifting her arm a little so Luisa could turn around.

‘Where were you?’ Luisa asked again, looking straight at Rose, her brown eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Rose reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind Luisa’s ear. She didn’t want to worry Luisa, but she definitely didn’t want to lie to her. ‘I was in the living room, doing some research.’ The subject of her research deserved no mention.

‘I thought you said we shouldn’t worry,’ Luisa said, worry etching a line between her brows.

‘We don’t. But I like to be prepared. Just in case,’ Rose said, stroking the crease from between Luisa’s eyebrows.

‘So what did you find out?’ Luisa asked, not letting her fears so easily be assuaged as by a soft touch. 

‘Let’s talk about that later. It is still early, let’s sleep,’ Rose said, leaning in to kiss Luisa.

Luisa might still be worried, she didn’t protest this decision. She happily kissed back, softly at first but eventually biting down on Rose’s bottom lip, prying open her mouth and passionately deepening the kiss.

‘I know something else we could do,’ Luisa husked, her hand brushing down the front of Rose’s throat, sliding it underneath the collar of her shirt, all while simultaneously moving to straddle her hips. ‘We do still need to make up for our fight last night.’

Rose nodded numbly, already forgetting about her exhaustion and the pain in her neck as Luisa ran her hands up under her shirt, squeezing and massaging her breasts.

She arched up into Luisa’s touch; sex seemed like a great idea to destress the both of them after the night they’d just had. And now Luisa had started, there was no way she was going to tell her to stop.

‘I love you,’ Luisa whispered, ghosting her lips over Rose’s neck and shoulder.

‘I love you too,’ Rose sighed, tangling her hands in Luisa’s hair as Luisa kissed a trail down her chest, licking at her breasts until her nipples were almost painfully hard and sensitive.

‘Lu,’ Rose moaned, writhing wantonly underneath the brunette, her fingers digging into the Luisa’s hips.

‘What is it?’ Luisa teased, lifting her head to look at Rose, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Rose bit her lip. ‘I want you.’ The words came out half a moan as Luisa playfully flicked her nipple with the tip of her tongue, blowing softly on it to make it impossibly harder.

‘How do you want me?’ Luisa purred, her nails scratching down Rose’s stomach, teasingly stroking the strip of skin just above her shorts.

‘I want your mouth on me, your tongue _inside_ me,’ Rose breathed, locking her eyes with Luisa’s, seeing the deep brown darken as arousal at her words took over.

‘That sounds heavenly,’ Luisa smiled predatorily. ‘Just one thing…’

‘Please,’ Rose pleaded, already knowing that was what Luisa wanted. Normally she would hold out a little longer, let Luisa tease her, wind her up until she cracked under the strain of her arousal. Not today, today she couldn’t bear any more teasing.

Luisa’s grin widened, not all that disappointed her play had been cut short.

Rose groaned as Luisa kissed and sucked and nipped her way down her stomach, her tongue darting out to sooth the red marks her teeth had left on pale skin moments before.

Luisa continued her attack on the sensitive spots on Rose’s sides while she simultaneously pulled Rose’s shorts and underwear down her legs. Spreading her legs with a soft hand on the inside of her thighs, Rose accommodating willingly.

Rose squirmed, tangling her hand in Luisa’s hair as the brunette kissed and massaged the sensitive flesh of her thighs, drawing the teasing out just a little longer.

‘You’re so gorgeous,’ Luisa said, lifting her eyes up to meet Rose’s. ‘Every time I get to do this I am amazed. I love you, Rose.’ The words were spoken softly, almost reverently, overflowing with emotion and love.

Rose trailed a hand down Luisa’s cheek, cradling it in her palm.

Sex had always been just sex to her, it had very little to do with emotions. But this, this was different, and they both knew it.

‘I feel the same way,’ Rose smiled, running her thumb over Luisa’s lips. ‘I love you. And whatever happens next, that isn’t going to change.’

Luisa smiled, pressing her cheek a little firmer into Rose’s hand for a moment, then lowering her head to deliver a broad lick to Rose’s center.

Rose shivered, throwing her head back, one hand twisting in the sheets, the other rediscovering its purchase in Luisa’s hair, gripping it tightly as Luisa went down on her.

‘God,’ Rose moaned, arching her back as Luisa raised one hand up to massage her breast simultaneously.

How she had ever thought that she could live without this she didn’t know. Luisa knew her, understood her, like nobody else did. And she didn’t want to be without her ever again. So whatever happened, losing Luisa was not an option.

‘Luuu,’ Rose moaned, rapidly approaching an orgasm as Luisa started fucking her with her tongue, still playing with her breasts. Pushing her higher and higher until Rose’s mind became hazy and the only thing she could do was scream.

‘I don’t think your neighbors are going to be very happy with your screams of ecstasy echoing through the walls,’ Luisa said, grinning proudly as she crawled back up the bed.

Rose laughed throatily, wrapping her arms around Luisa’s shoulders as she pulled her onto her chest.

‘I think they are used to it by now. You have been here every day for the last week,’ Rose smiled, kissing the tip of Luisa’s nose. ‘You’re amazing.’

‘Well, you make it easy,’ Luisa smiled, lifting herself up a little to kiss Rose.

Rose gently turned Luisa onto her back without breaking the kiss, hovering over her for a second. ‘I love you,’ she said, kissing Luisa’s cheek. ‘I love you,’ she repeated, brushing her lips against Luisa’s throat. ‘I love you.’ Another kiss to Luisa’s shoulder. ‘I love you…’

The words soon got lost between the many kisses she laid upon Luisa’s body, her thoughts quieted by Luisa’s moans and whimpers.

‘God,’ Luisa sighed, her arm draped over her eyes as Rose crawled up her body after a particularly intense orgasm. ‘Maybe we should fight more, the sex is _amazing_.’

‘If you like I can do that thing again _without_ us fighting,’ Rose smiled, resting on her elbows as she smiled down at Luisa.

‘I think I would like that the most,’ Luisa said, throwing her arms around Rose’s neck, burying her nose against the soft skin before brushing her lips against Rose’s in a lazy kiss as she tried to cling to her post-orgasmic haze a little longer.

Rose sighed happily as she laid back down on her pillow, playing with the ends of Luisa’s hair as the need to sleep slowly overtook her. Luisa not far behind.

‘Let’s sleep, it’s still early after all,’ the brunette whispered, her voice soft, already on the edge of sleep.

‘Let’s,’ Rose smiled, throwing her arms over Luisa’s waist, pulling her closer to brush her lips against her forehead. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ Luisa breathed. ‘So much.’

* * *

Rose woke up a couple hours later from soft fingers running over her naked back. She had turned in her sleep, putting Luisa behind her.

‘Good morning, beautiful,’ Luisa whispered, tracing invisible patterns between the freckles on Rose’s back.

‘Mmh, good morning,’ Rose said as she stretched, momentarily forgetting about last night’s troubles, just enjoying waking up next to Luisa. She turned over, smiling at Luisa. ‘What time is it?’ she asked, the room a lot lighter than when they had fallen asleep.

‘9 ish,’ Luisa said, her hand still running up and down Rose’s back.

‘And how long have you been awake?’

‘A while, you needed some more sleep.’

‘Thank you,’ Rose smiled, stroking Luisa’s cheek, pressing her thumb against the corner of Luisa’s lips as she smiled. ‘But what we need now is breakfast before you go to AA.’

‘About that…’

‘Lu, after what happened last night you should go to a meeting.’

‘I know, and I will. I just wanted to ask if you’d come with me.’ Luisa looked away, down at the sheets.

‘Of course,’ Rose smiled, tilting Luisa’s head up with a soft touch to her chin, meeting her eyes. ‘Whatever you need.’

‘Thank you,’ Luisa said, leaning in to kiss Rose.

‘What do you want for breakfast. I think I might have enough eggs left over for pancakes,’ Rose said as she pulled away from the kiss.

Luisa’s smile widened, her eyes sparkling happily. ‘I love pancakes.’

‘Then they will be coming right up,’ Rose said, brushing her lips against Luisa’s one last time before getting out from underneath the covers, throwing on a robe as she made her way to the kitchen.

‘So will you tell me about what you have found out about our situation?’ Luisa said as she sat down at the table, dressed in one of Rose’s shirts and not much else.

‘Not much. But if there is going to be a hearing, which is not a certainty, at least we can rely on the fact I have never shown you preferential treatment.’

‘Except many amazing orgasms,’ Luisa joked half-heartedly, filling a glass with water from the tap and bringing it to her lips.

Rose chuckled. ‘Let’s keep that to ourselves, shall we?’ she said, rubbing a circle between Luisa’s shoulder blades. ‘What I meant, as you very well know, is that all your grades have been earned by you. And not given to you by me as a payment for me getting to see you naked.’

‘So that works in our advantage, yes?’ Luisa asked, worry once again creeping over her features.

‘It should, we will be fine, Luisa. I promise,’ Rose said, squeezing Luisa’s shoulder before walking back into the kitchen to finish baking pancakes.

‘So no word from the dean yet?’ Luisa asked as she started setting the table.

‘No word from anybody yet,’ Rose said calmly. Masking her true feelings by turning her attention back to the half-baked cake in her pan. It was true, no one had contacted her yet. But the picture had been posted late last night, and it was still early now, so it was possible no one had yet seen it. Because Rose was too much of a realist to hope that it might go ignored.

They had broken a rule, and as a lawyer and an ethics professor, she knew that at least one of them was going to have to pay the price for that.

‘Do you want coffee?’ Luisa asked, pulling Rose from her thoughts as she held up the empty coffee can.

‘Yes please. And make it a strong please, I am going to need it today,’ she smiled, pouring more batter in the pan.

Luisa pulled a disgusted face. ‘I don’t even want to know what you think is strong coffee if the stuff you normally drink _isn’t_ that.’

Rose laughed, it felt wonderfully _normal_ to joke with Luisa in the kitchen like this. Like there wasn’t a giant sword dangling above their heads by a silk thread, ready to snap at any moment.

‘You’re just a tea person,’ Rose smiled. ‘Just put in equal amounts of water to coffee. And then one extra spoon of coffee.’

Luisa watched the amount of coffee she was measuring our grow to an alarming quantity.

‘As a future doctor I cannot in good conscious let you drink this,’ Luisa said, her nose adorably crinkled as she turned the coffeemaker on.

‘Graduate first, maybe then I will listen to your advice,’ Rose laughed, bussing Luisa’s cheeks as she passed by.

‘Like me having an MD is going to stop you from drinking this caffeine bomb,’ Luisa said, leaning against the counter as Rose finished baking pancakes.

‘That’s what the JD is for,’ Rose smiled. ‘To argue with you about it.’

‘I knew you enjoyed the make-up sex,’ Luisa grinned, proudly folding her arms as she smirked at Rose.

‘Well, it _was_ really good,’ Rose whispered hotly against Luisa’s ear as she walked past her to put the plate with pancakes on the table.

They ate in relative silences, smiling and softly kicking each other under the table. Both too ravenous for food after their activities that morning to talk.

‘You go shower while I clean up,’ Rose said, setting their plates down on the kitchen counter to get started on the dishes that had been piling up for the last couple of days.

‘You won’t shower with me?’ Luisa pouted.

‘I think my water bill would prefer it if we didn’t. Our showers together always run long for some reason,’ Rose smiled.

‘Spoilsport,’ Luisa murmured.

Rose chuckled, catching Luisa by the wrist, pulling her in for a kiss. ‘Maybe later.’

‘I don’t know, _professor_ ,’ Luisa teased, scratching her nails down Rose’s back, squeezing her ass, ‘I should probably study later. Can’t just rely on my good looks to get me through college,’ Luisa joked.

‘Better not, that might get you in trouble, Miss Alver.’

‘So shower, yeah?’ Luisa said, pulling Rose into the direction of the bathroom.

Rose sighed but relented. ‘Just this once.’

Luisa’s grin widened, eagerly helping Rose out of her robe and into the shower, the both of them knowing fully well that this wasn’t going to be the last time Rose gave into her.

* * *

‘Will you sit with me? Up front?’ Luisa asked, squeezing Rose’s hand softly as they walked into the church basement, Rose having halted at the rows of seat in the back where she usually sat.

‘I’m not sure I should, Lu,’ Rose said. ‘This is not for me.’

‘No, but it is for me. And I want you next to me. I _need_ you next to me.’

Rose smiled, brushing a lock of hair out of Luisa’s face. ‘Of course, I’m here for you.’

‘Thank you,’ Luisa smiled gratefully, squeezing Rose’s hand again.

‘Always,’ Rose said, following Luisa to the front of the room, sitting down in one of the chairs, right next to Luisa, never letting go of her hand.

The meeting started around them, Rose listening to everyone speak about their troubles in the past and their hopes for the future, remaining passive herself. Luisa might have invited her up here, this still wasn’t for her.

Luisa herself remained quiet too, mostly looking down at the ground, her thoughts and feelings hidden from everyone but herself.

So Rose was a little surprised when Luisa let go of her hand to raise her own.

‘Hi, I’m Luisa and I am an alcoholic,’ Luisa said, immediately retaking Rose’s hand after, clasping it between her own and resting them in her lap.

‘I have been sober for a little over a month now. And it is mostly thanks to the woman sitting next to me right now.’ Luisa turned to her, smiling adoringly. ‘Can I introduced you?’ Luisa asked softly.

Rose nodded, squeezing Luisa’s hand.

‘This is Rose, my girlfriend. She’s the one who got me in here, who helped me through withdrawal and still helps me every day. She wasn’t my girlfriend when she started helping me. Our relationship isn’t what you can call conventional by any standard. But it makes me happy, so for the last couple of weeks I have rarely had the urge to drink. But then last night something happened, so here I am today, with my girlfriend, to make sure that whatever happens next, it is not going to cause me to drink.’

The group applauded, Rose squeezing Luisa’s hand, feeling very proud of the other woman.

A couple more people spoke after Luisa but Rose had trouble absorbing a word they said, much too proud of Luisa. Of how far she had come in barely more than a month, how far they had come, and how right now it all seemed like it might blow away.

Rose bit her lip; she couldn’t think like that. Whatever happened with the university, she wasn’t going to give up, she wasn’t going to let Luisa go. Not ever again. She owed Luisa that much.

‘You were amazing,’ Rose whispered as the group got up. ‘I am so proud of you.’ She leaned in to press a kiss to Luisa’s cheek.

‘Thank you for coming with me,’ Luisa said softly, clutching a tepid cup of Yellow Label tea in her hands.

‘Well, after what you just said how could I not?’ Rose teased, her nose crinkling as Luisa brought the cup of tea to her lips. ‘Let me repay you by buying you an actual cup of tea,’ she said as she took the plastic cup from Luisa’s hands.

‘This is actual tea,’ Luisa said, picking the beverage back up. ‘At least it is to people who don’t drive a Jaguar.’

‘I will let you drive it if you come to the café across the street with so we can have an actual hot drink.’

Luisa’s eyes went wide, a grin starting to spread across her face.

‘You’ll let me drive your car?’

‘Yes,’ Rose said, already starting to regret that decision as she saw the manic grin overtake Luisa’s features completely.

‘Deal,’ Luisa said, putting the cup down. ‘I can’t believe you are buying me a drink _and_ letting me drive your car, win-win for me.’

‘Better than letting you drink that,’ Rose smiled, linking her hand with Luisa’s as they walked out of the church towards the café across the street.

‘To go,’ Luisa added after Rose ordered them drinks.

Rose raised an eyebrow.

‘You said I could drive, I am going to make the most of it,’ Luisa smiled as she accepted her drink from the barista.

‘So we’re not going home then?’ Rose asked as she walked to her car.

‘No, there’s something I want to show you,’ Luisa said, holding her hand out for the keys.

Rose handed them over with a sigh before walking around to the passenger side of the car.

‘I have never sat on this side of the car before,’ Rose said as Luisa turned the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life along with the smile on Luisa’s face.

‘Even better,’ Luisa said as she shifted into first gear.

Rose smiled, looking over at Luisa. Her dark hair blowing in the wind streaming in through the open window, a smile lighting up her features. Such a big change from the tears and fear she had seen on her face the previous evening. She liked this Luisa much better.

‘So where are we going?’ Rose asked after a while.

‘You’ll see,’ Luisa smiled mysteriously.

‘I love you,’ Rose said as the thought surfaced in her head, reaching out to brush a lock of hair away from Luisa’s face. ‘I love seeing you smile.’

‘I love you too,’ Luisa said, sparing Rose a sideways glance. ‘And I love your car.’

Rose laughed, putting her hand on Luisa’s knee and squeezing softly.

They drove in silence for a little while, Rose trying to figure out where Luisa was taking her. They were outside of the city now, but all Rose knew was that they must be close to the water as she could smell salt in the air.

‘We’re here,’ Luisa said as she pulled into a narrow, nearly overgrown road of cracked asphalt. The ocean looming in front of them. The stretch of sand and pebbles between them and the water abandoned apart from a couple of gulls.

‘I used to come here when I needed to get away from the city, my family, my life,’ Luisa explained as she got out of the car, taking her tea with her. ‘It’s a good place to think,’ she said, grabbing Rose’s hand as she walked them to the waterline.

Rose slung her arm around Luisa’s shoulders, hugging her close. ‘What are you getting away from now?’ she asked softly, nuzzling Luisa’s cheek. She had a feeling she knew what it was, she just needed to be sure.

Luisa turned her head to look at her. ‘We’re going to be okay, right?’

‘Of course,’ Rose smiled. ‘No matter what happens, you and I are going to be okay. I promise. They can’t stop me from seeing you. They already tried and it didn’t work.’

Luisa flashed her a small smile. ‘I’m just tenacious like that.’

‘You are,’ Rose said, pulling Luisa down onto the sand with her,

They sat and listened to the waves for a while, drinking their tea and watching the birds swoop down into the water, Luisa resting her head on Rose’s shoulder, their arms around each other’s waists.

It was peaceful, Rose understood why Luisa came here. It was a break from reality, from the city and their lives.

Their break from reality was rudely interrupted when Rose’s phone started ringing, startling the both of them.

‘Who is it?’ Luisa asked as Rose stared at the screen without picking up.

‘It’s my boss,’ Rose said as she accepted the call, bringing the phone to her ear. It seemed the consequences to their actions had just arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and another cliffhanger! I truly am back at it again. 
> 
> I know I suck at replying to comments (one of my many faults) but they are honestly so lovely to get and they are so very motivating so please don't stop leaving them! I know it feels like screaming into the void but I do read and cherish them all, even if I answer them two weeks late.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I will see you next year I guess (totally joking, I hope)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been so long I feel like I should do a "previously on".   
> Sorry, again for taking so long. But this fic is just getting increasingly hard to write and I don't want to drop the standard of it.   
> I will try to finish it this month as its one-year anniversary is coming up. (Yes, it's been a year)
> 
> Sorry for the wait, I hope you'll still enjoy it!

Luisa stared at the waves crashing onto the sand as Rose got to her feet and walked back towards the car. Luisa didn’t know if Rose had done so to put a little distance between herself and the sounds of the ocean, or so Luisa wouldn’t overhear. She didn’t care which one it was; she was glad she couldn’t listen in on the conversation between Rose and her boss.

There was still over a week of holidays left, so the fact that the dean had decided to call now could only mean that it was bad news.

She kept staring straight ahead, watching the gulls swoop down towards the waves, wishing she too could seem so unconcerned by what was happening around her.

A single tear rolled down her cheek. She knew what Rose had said, that whatever happened they would stay together. But she couldn’t quite believe that was going to be the case. Their futures were on the line, Rose’s job, her career. They couldn’t just give that up for a two-week-old relationship. That would be idiotic.

She brushed the tear away and wrapped her arms around her knees, keeping her eye on the horizon, acutely aware of Rose pacing the sand behind her, catching fragments of conversation through the lulls in the wind.

Rose sounded calm and collected, but then she always did. Luisa suspected the woman would be difficult to beat at poker, very adept at keeping her real feelings hidden. Luisa had been on the receiving end of Rose’s poker face more than once now, and it inspired awe in everyone who looked at it.

Time passed but Luisa had no idea how much, refusing to let herself think about anything, just getting lost in the never-ending push and pull of the ocean, the acrobatic tricks of the seagulls and the gusts of wind whipping white caps onto the waves. It was very nearly hypnotic.

She was broken out of her trance by a soft hand on her shoulder and Rose’s body sitting down next to her in the sand.

‘So,’ Luisa said, her voice very nearly lost in the wind, ‘what did he say?’

‘There is going to be a hearing.’

Luisa nodded, fighting to keep the tears welling up in her eyes at bay. ‘Anything else?’

‘That was all he would say about it; there is going to be a hearing to decide what the next step will be.’

Luisa nodded, trying to swallow down the lump in her throat. Nothing had been decided yet, all possibilities still open, for their relationship, for their jobs and education. And yet it felt like their faith had just been sealed.

She hadn’t been aware she had been crying until Rose put her arm around her shaking shoulders and pulled her against her.

‘We’ll be okay, I promise,’ Rose whispered against her hair.

The words had been soft, lacking her usual confidence, like she didn’t quite believe it either and that was when Luisa broke apart.

Luisa wrapped her arms tightly around Rose’s waist, buried her face against Rose’s shoulders and just cried. She wasn’t completely sure why she was crying, perhaps it was fear for the uncertainty of their future, perhaps it was just a culmination of all the emotions that had been stuck under her skin for the past 48 hours, it didn’t matter either way.

Rose didn’t ask her why she was crying either, she just held her, kept her pressed to her chest, rubbing soothing circles on her back and pressing soft kisses onto her hair.

Luisa cried until her eyes dried all by themselves, allowing herself a little more time for her breathing to quiet before pulling away to look at Rose.

The redhead smiled softly at her, reaching out to brushing the tear tracks from her cheeks.

Luisa closed her eyes as Rose’s fingers glided over wet skin, brushing gently underneath her eyes, making Luisa’s lashes flutter.

‘We’ll be okay, Luisa,’ Rose repeated, the voice still soft but her words a little firmer. ‘A hearing in cases like this is routine. It is what we expected. It isn’t the end of anything.’

Luisa didn’t know if Rose could read her thoughts or if they had just been thinking the same thing, but Rose had found her way right to the core of her mind. The words did very little to quiet her fears, but she could see the logic behind them and found some solace in that.

She relaxed her shoulders and took a deep breath, nodding to let Rose know she was okay, not yet trusting her voice.

Rose smiled, letting her hand trail down from her cheek to the underside of her jaw, tilting it upwards with soft fingers. Her blue eyes boring into Luisa’s right up until the moment their lips met in a soft kiss.

Luisa could taste the many spices of their tea and a little salt from the ocean on Rose’s lips as they brushed together in a kiss that belied comfort and hope. Hope that maybe everything _would_ be alright.

They kissed until their lungs burned from the lack of air and even then, Luisa prolonged the kiss for a couple more seconds, not wanting to pull away from this shared moment just yet.

She smiled softly as she pulled away, the kiss somehow having made her heart feel lighter. It was strange how such a soft, everyday gesture could do that. Or maybe it was not the kiss itself, maybe it was just Rose.

‘You’re shivering,’ Rose said, concern drawing her eyebrows together, softly rubbing her hands up and down Luisa’s bare arms. ‘Do you want to go?’

‘Just a little longer,’ Luisa said, her voice hoarse from her earlier crying. She didn’t feel cold and she doubted that was what was making her shiver anyway.

‘Alright,’ Rose nodded, pulling Luisa a little closer against her, her arm tightly wrapped around her shoulder.

Luisa felt a soft smile pull at the corners of her lips as Rose’s thumb started rubbing soft circles on the medial end of her clavicle.

They looked out on the ocean together, no need to say anything, just drawing comfort from being near each other. And yet the thought of the impending hearing and what it would mean for them was never far from Luisa’s mind.

‘When is the hearing?’ Luisa asked after a while, turning her head to look at Rose.

‘In the New Year. After the holidays.’

Luisa nodded, that gave them some time, either to prepare or panic, she wasn’t sure which was more likely.

‘Come on, we should go before you catch a cold,’ Rose set, getting to her feet before offering Luisa her hand and pulling her up as well.

Rose didn’t let go of her hand once they were both standing, holding on to it as they walked to the car.

‘Do you want to drive?’ Rose asked as she fetched the keys from her pocket.

Luisa shook her head. ‘No, you drive.’

‘Do you want me to take you home?’ Rose asked as she started the car, the roar of the engine somehow not sounding as powerful as it used to.

Home, Luisa thought, almost scoffing at the word. Sitting alone in her dorm room right now wouldn’t do her any good. Going to the hotel to spent time with her family would be even worse. She had no idea how to tell her father she was in trouble at school again, and she wouldn’t until she absolutely had to. And even then, she would put it off for as long as possible.

‘I want to stay with you, if that’s alright,’ Luisa said, suddenly not sure if Rose wanted her there. The redhead was a solitary person by nature, and maybe she needed some time to herself to work through the news they had just gotten.

Rose smiled, her hand finding Luisa’s almost of its own accord, squeezing it softly. ‘You’re always welcome at my place.’

Luisa smiled, breathing in deeply and running her fingers underneath her eyes to clean up some of her run mascara.

The drive back into the city was quiet, neither of them really knowing what to say.

‘So do you think I should still study for my ethics final or should we just prepare for me getting kicked out?’ Luisa said as she noticed her study books on the coffee table after walking through the door of Rose’s apartment.

‘You are not getting kicked out,’ Rose said, comfortingly running her hand up and down Luisa’s back. ‘I promise.’

‘Are you going to lawyer your way out of this one, professor?’ Luisa said, lowering her voice a little, hoping to sound sexy and husky, but it just sounded sad.

‘Come sit,’ Rose said, pulling Luisa along to the couch by her hand. ‘Do you want me to talk you through this, like I would a client in a procedure?’

Luisa sighed, reclining back into Rose’s arms, resting her head against Rose’s chest. ‘Maybe it would stop me from worrying. I don’t even know why I am worrying, I never worry,’ she rattled.

Rose wrapped her arms around Luisa’s waist, kissing her shoulder. ‘You don’t have to worry, Lu. We will be fine.’

‘Where you this comfortable with all your clients?’ Luisa pouted.

‘Just the cute ones who needed me to hold their hand,’ Rose teased.

‘Weren’t you a criminal defense lawyer?’ Luisa shot back.

‘Innocent ‘til proven guilty, Luisa,’ Rose said, pinching Luisa’s bicep.

‘Hey! Ouch!’ Luisa said, rubbing her arm in faux hurt. ‘I guess we no longer fall under that, because we are definitely guilty.’

‘It’s not going to be a problem. It’s not a trial. It is formal hearing.’

‘I still don’t like the sound of that,’ Luisa sighed.

‘So let me walk you through it, ease your mind a little.’

‘It’s not the hearing I am afraid of. I am scared of the effect it might have on our lives. I am finally happy with my life for the first time in a long while. I am happy with myself, with school, with _you_ and I am afraid it is all going to change.’

‘It won’t. I promise,’ Rose said, squeezing Luisa’s hands softly. ‘And let me tell you why…’

Rose explained the process to her, Luisa feeling like Rose needed to sound it out for herself just as much as Luisa needed to hear it.

‘Babe, I love it when you go all Legally Ginger on me, but we didn’t sleep much last night and all the legalese is making me sleepy.’

‘Sorry, went a little overboard,’ Rose smiled, pressing a kiss to Luisa’s cheek. The two of them still all cuddled up on the couch.

‘I don’t want to sit on the couch and overthink this all day,’ Luisa sighed.

‘Would sitting in the tub help?’ Rose asked.

‘Normally yes, I love your tub. But I think I just need to go out for a bit.’

‘Well, do you want something casual or would you go out on a date with me?’

‘Casual date?’ Luisa offered, smiling softly at Rose as she turned around in her arms.

‘What would you like to do?’ Rose asked, softly brushing her lips against Luisa’s.

‘Can we go get cake? Today feels like a gorge yourself on cake day,’ Luisa pouted as Rose pulled away from the kiss.

‘Of course, where do you want to go?’ Rose asked, holding Luisa at arm’s length while scrutinizing her face.

‘Just the café. They have the best cake,’ Luisa shrugged.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah, of course I am sure,’ Luisa said, not understanding Rose’s trepidation before something clicked. ‘Oh, Kate, right. Is that awkward for you?’

‘Is it awkward for you?’ Rose asked, a slight furrow appearing between her brows.

‘Well, we’re lesbians. It’s a small community. We can’t really go anywhere without running into one of our exes. And as far as exes go, Kate is really nice and she texted me already. Plus, her cakes are amazing and make up for her kissing you. So if you’re okay with it we can go.’

‘I’m fine with it. Kate is the reason we are here right now,’ Rose said, slinging her arm around Luisa’s shoulders. ‘Let’s go get cake.’

‘I’ll drive,’ Luisa said as she took the keys from Rose, her phone starting to ring simultaneously. Her mood crashing again as she saw who it was.

‘Daddy, hi. Why are you calling?’ Luisa said, having the feeling she knew why.

‘I golf with some of the guys on the university board, one of them called to tell me your name has been making the rounds. You in some kind of trouble, honey?’

‘No, it’s all fine,’ Luisa lied.

‘If you need me to do something…’ her father said, trailing off.

‘No dad. I don’t. Everything is fine. I can handle it on my own. Thank you,’ Luisa said tersely.

‘I know it is not, Luisa,’ her father sighed. ‘Your professor? Really? Aren’t there other girls? Ones that wouldn’t get you in trouble?’

Luisa clenched her jaw. ‘I love her, dad. It wasn’t a matter of choice!’

‘You _love_ her? Luisa, you have loved all your girlfriends. I just wish you would love one who didn’t get you in trouble.’

‘She did not get me in trouble. I got her in trouble! She could lose her job.’

‘And you think she is going to choose you over that?’

Luisa swallowed. It was so like her father to bring this up.

‘Yes, dad. I do think so. Because she loves me and I trust her.’

‘Look, Luisa, honey. I can’t do anything after the hearing. Just say the word and I will take care of it now.’

‘I don’t need you help, dad! I definitely don’t need you to donate money to the college and have my name on any more buildings. I can take care of my own problems!’

‘When I was your age I would have loved my parents to help me like this,’ Emilio said coolly.

‘This is not helping, dad! This is throwing money at problems to make them go away so I don’t cause you any embarrassment!’

‘Fine, if you don’t need my help, I won’t offer it.’

‘Great. See you dad,’ Luisa said as she hung up. ‘I can’t believe he is doing this again,’ Luisa said as she flopped down on the couch.

Rose, who had been quietly listening to Luisa’s half of the conversation, sat down next to her and started to rub her back.

‘He doesn’t care,’ Luisa sighed, leaning into Rose’s touch. ‘He is just embarrassed of me. And I don’t know why. You are the best girlfriend I have ever head. You’re smart, gorgeous, have a great job. Hell, my dad would probably want to marry you if he could.’

‘I think I would rather stay with you, if that’s okay,’ Rose smiled softly. ‘Already had a beard. Not interested in another. For whatever reason.’

‘You wouldn’t be in trouble at work if it was my father you were dating,’ Luisa pouted.

‘Dating you is worth the trouble,’ Rose said, pressing a soft kiss to Luisa’s temple. ‘Do you still want to go out and get cake?’

‘I don’t know,’ Luisa sighed. ‘I’m not really hungry anymore all of the sudden.’

‘We can just stay in.’

‘And do what? Grade papers? Study?’ Luisa sighed. ‘It’s all useless. I might be kicked out and you might lose your job. So why bother?’

‘You can’t think like that. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and I don’t let that stop me.’

‘Great, now I have to add “public transport” to my list of things to be afraid of,’ Luisa pouted, drawing her knees up to her chest.

‘Okay, come on,’ Rose said, pulling Luisa off the couch with her. ‘We’re going out. Sitting here will do nothing. We are just going to go on living our lives like we would have if we hadn’t been found out. Okay?’

‘Okay,’ Luisa said meekly, knowing Rose was right but not really feeling up to doing anything.

‘Come on, we’re getting cake,’ Rose smiled as she pulled Luisa in for a kiss, hoping to offer a little comfort that way.

Luisa tried to spent the next couple of days like there was nothing to worry about. And for the most part it went okay. She woke up next to Rose, kicked her out of bed to make them breakfast, studied in the library, went on dates with Rose at night and fell asleep next to her after sex. But during the quiet moments, when Rose was still asleep next to her, when she waited for the water to boil, when her mind wandered, she wondered if it was all going to go away in a week.

Rose didn’t seem to have the same worries, or maybe she just hid it better.

‘Luisa, can you zip me up?’ Rose asked, shaking Luisa from her thoughts.

‘Yes, of course,’ Luisa said, letting her eyes track up Rose’s body slowly. The redhead was wearing an emerald green dress that contrasted beautifully with her red hair. ‘You look gorgeous, by the way,’ Luisa said as Rose lifted her hair away from her neck so Luisa could do up her zipper.

Luisa couldn’t help but let her fingers trace the bumps in Rose spine first, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the back of her neck.

‘Lu, zipper,’ Rose breathed.

‘Right,’ Luisa said, closing the dress, noticing now how well it fit Rose’s body. ‘Who are you trying to impress, miss Ruvelle?’ she purred, putting her hands on Rose’s hips and pulling her closer to her.

‘You,’ Rose smiled. ‘So you get to decide, hair up or down, and glasses or no glasses.’

It was truly the easiest decision Luisa ever made. ‘Up and glasses, please.’

‘You like the glasses, huh?’ Rose grinned, pulling them off her nose and tapping them against her lip teasingly.

‘I _love_ the glasses,’ Luisa husked, running her thumb over Rose’s lower lip before kissing her deeply. ‘We can just skip the party and celebrate New Year’s here,’ she suggested breathily, running her fingers down the lowcut neckline of Rose’s dress.

‘We could,’ Rose said, running her hands down the soft, white material of Luisa’s own cocktail dress. ‘But I kind of like being seen with you on my arm.’

Luisa scoffed. ‘That got us into this trouble in the first place.’

‘It’s just a party, Luisa. It will be fun, but if you truly don’t want to go we can stay in’

‘No, I want to go. Staying in will just make me feel worse. Besides, you look way too good right now to stay in,’ Luisa said, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub as she watched Rose put her hair up in an elegant twist, a couple of curled strands falling away to frame her face.

Rose watched Luisa approach her from the mirror.

‘Lipstick,’ she warned as Luisa brought her lips to the back of Rose’s neck again.

‘I would say you’re more soft, professional butch than lipstick, but if you say so,’ Luisa grinned.

Rose rolled her eyes. ‘You know what I meant.’

‘I did,’ Luisa said, brushing her lips against Rose’s throat anyway, rubbing the lipstick mark away with her thumb.

‘You ready to go?’ Rose asked, looking at Luisa through the mirror again.

‘Yes, I’ll drive,’ Luisa said as she sashayed out of the bathroom, taking Rose’s car keys off the table by the door.

‘It will be fun,’ Rose repeated. Luisa no longer sure who she was trying to convince of that, Luisa or herself.

Once they’d arrived Luisa had to admit it was actually fun. They got to dance together, and kiss, and drink sparkling cider as the night carried on, taking them closer and closer to a new year.

It was a little more sophisticated than the New Year’s parties she usually went to, Rose’s friends apparently having more of an upscale taste than her college ones. She preferred this. Mostly because the alcohol wasn’t flowing nearly as freely, and while she had told Rose she was fine being around people who were drinking, she was grateful they were just sipping champagne and not pounding shots.

She sighed, resting her head on Rose’s shoulder as they danced together to the slow song that had just come on. The closer it got to midnight the more she felt the urge to switch her flute of cider for actual champagne. Tonight would be the first time in a long while she didn’t get blackout drunk on New Year’s Eve, and she felt like after what had happened over the last week, this was the first year she was really entitled to forget.

She wasn’t sure what alerted Rose to the thoughts spinning out of control behind her eyes, but she instinctively seemed to know.

‘Come on, let’s get some fresh air,’ Rose said as she pulled Luisa from the dancefloor and onto the abandoned balcony.

Luisa took in a lung full of the fresh air, resting her arms on the balustrade, looking out over a celebrating city.

‘You’re worrying,’ Rose said, softly carting her fingers through Luisa’s hair.

‘And you’re not?’ Luisa asked, turning to face Rose.

‘Not right now,’ Rose smiled, pulling Luisa into her arms. ‘Maybe a little about you.’

‘I’m fine. It just feels weird to celebrate the coming of a new year when our future is so uncertain. And yes I heard what I just said about the future being uncertain. I want to be happy, I just can’t be when I think about how I might lose you in a couple of days.’

‘The one thing you can be certain of is that you won’t lose me. I promise,’ Rose smiled. ‘We can deal with whatever happens, together.’

Luisa sucked in a shuddering breath, blinking her tears away. ‘Okay.’ Rose had promised her this over and over again the last couple of days. But Rose couldn’t promise this, not with her entire career on the line, so Luisa couldn’t draw much comfort from it.

They stood intertwined like that for a while longer, the sounds of the party inside changing to a countdown. Luisa leaned in when they reached zero and kissed Rose, fireworks exploding overhead as they did so. Maybe, just maybe. everything would be okay after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the hearing, so prepare for more drama! I'll try to not take another two months this timer, but then I always try and it does take 2 months, so let's just pray.
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments are always very welcome!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise bitch, I bet you thought you had seen the last of this fic. But I finally figured this hellish chapter (so many rewrites...) out, and the next one should be a breeze!
> 
> Enjoy!

The last couple days of their Christmas break were surprisingly normal. Luisa spent it studying on Rose’s couch and ignoring phone calls from her father. He was still trying to solve her problems for her and Luisa wouldn’t let him so he had taken to calling her every day to let her know how stupid she was being.

Luisa didn’t care, this was her mess and she would sort it out herself. She had an IQ of 152 for Christ’s sake. She could do this.

She sighed as her phone started buzzing again, probably her father trying in get in some last-ditch attempt at stopping her from embarrassing him. Honestly, that was the worst part about this. If he genuinely wanted to help her and Rose she would have let him, but he was just trying to save his own face.

She declined the call without a second thought and picked up her notes again. She had a final to study for, assuming she wasn’t kicked out before that. But worrying about that wouldn’t help the outcome and she did love debating ethical questions with Rose, so studying wouldn’t be entirely useless even if she didn’t get to take the final. Which Rose had assured her she would.

Rose was sitting at her desk on the other side of her room, surrounded by a continental mountain range existing entirely of paper, staring intently at something on her computer screen.

Luisa wasn’t sure if she was working on her lesson plan or perfecting her strategy for the hearing the next morning. It was probably the latter; Rose had been searching for and reading through cases similar to theirs for a while now.

‘You make me feel woefully unprepared, you know?’ Luisa said, sitting up a little straighter as she looked at Rose.

‘Mmh?’ Rose didn’t even look away from her computer, her glasses halfway down her nose: utterly adorable.

Luisa lovingly rolled her eyes and made her way over to Rose, knowing the other woman wouldn’t be able to tear herself away from her work long enough to actually acknowledge her existence.

She rested her chin on Rose’s shoulder, hands snaking around to rest on her stomach. ‘I said that you made me feel woefully unprepared.’

The words whispered this close to her ear managed to pull Rose away from her work.

She smiled and spun her chair around to face Luisa. ‘Unprepared for what?’

‘The hearing,’ Luisa said, lacing her hands together behind Rose’s head as she sat down in her lap.

‘You’re prepared, you just have to tell the truth,’ Rose said, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on Luisa’s hips.

‘So what are you going to tell them?’ Luisa asked as she meaningfully eyed the paper moat around Rose’s desk.

‘The truth, and well-researched other truths,’ Rose smiled proudly.

‘So you’re going to dazzle them with your lawyer skills?’ Luisa asked, toying with a perfect spiral curl behind Rose’s ear.

‘That’s the plan.’

‘They won’t know what hit them,’ Luisa whispered, slowly leaning in, lips brushing together in a soft kiss.

‘Mhm,’ Rose spluttered as she tried to pull away from the kiss, Luisa chasing her lips and pressing herself closer against her, not intending to let her go just yet.

‘Lu,’ Rose said breathlessly. ‘I have things to do.’

‘So do I,’ Luisa grinned, working her hands up underneath Rose’s shirt, stroking her sides as she leaned back in to kiss Rose, purposefully nibbling on Rose’s bottom lip.

Rose groaned and gave in, Luisa celebrating her triumph by kissing down Rose’s throat. Slowly nudging her blouse out of the way with her nose, lips skirting around the edges of Rose’s bra.

Between Rose’s whimpers and moans there was the slightly alarming creak of the chair as it was enduring more strain than usual.

‘Bed?’ Rose suggested, work the furthest thing from her mind.

Luisa nodded, pulling Rose along by the hand. But things were apparently going too slow for Rose and she scooped Luisa up in her arms, carrying her into the bedroom bridal style.

Luisa giggled and squirmed in Rose’s arms, planting more teasing kisses along Rose’s collarbone, Rose skillfully maneuvering them into the bedroom.

Rose gently laid her down on the bed, covering Luisa’s body with her own.

Luisa stared up at her beautiful girlfriend, gently brushing her wild hair away from her face, letting her hands linger somewhat.

Whatever happened tomorrow, they would be alright, she knew they would be.

She smiled and kissed Rose again, trying to convey her feelings that way.

After a momentary push and pull of lips and tongues Luisa yielded to Rose, letting her take the lead for once.

Rose seemed to notice Luisa’s change in attitude and slowed down before pulling back a little, staring deeply into her eyes. Luisa felt her throat close up as she saw the raw and naked love in them. Rose might be a professor, but she wasn’t all words. In the blue of Rose’s eyes Luisa could see how she truly felt.

Luisa gasped and pulled Rose back into the kiss, wrapping her legs around Rose’s waist, pulling her even closer.

Rose moaned softly but quickly regained her footing as the one on top and deepened the kiss, one hand on Luisa’s shoulder and the other fisted in her hair, pulling lightly as the kissing ending and the making out started.

Luisa hadn’t really dressed up today, figuring a pair of Rose’s old sweatpants and her college hoodie, which had also been in Rose’s closet, would be enough for a day spent inside studying. Right now she was very glad of the easy clothes as Rose made light work of undressing her.

‘No bra?’ Rose hummed as she pulled the hoodie up over Luisa’s breasts. ‘If I had known that we would have been here hours earlier.’

‘Maybe you should pay more attention to me and less to your work.’ Luisa lifted her arms to let Rose take the hoodie off completely.

‘That’s what got us in trouble in the first place,’ Rose whispered, starting to lay soft kisses down Luisa’s throat, all the way to her chest.

‘No, _this_ is what got us in trouble,’ Luisa said breathlessly as Rose crawled up Luisa’s body, rolling her hips into Luisa’s before pressing them flush together, cupping Luisa’s cheek before pulling her into a searing kiss. ‘Rose, please.’

Rose nodded, moving down a little bit to take Luisa’s nipple into her mouth, the feeling making Luisa arch up and whimper.

Rose didn’t linger long on her breasts, steadily moving downwards to where Luisa so impatiently wanted her and Rose seemed just as eager to get to.

Luisa stopped Rose from lowering her head back down after peeling her pants and underwear down her legs with a soft hand on her shoulder.

‘Do you not want me to?’ Rose asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion.

‘No, I really want you to. I just also want _you_.’

‘What do you propose?’ Rose said, eyebrow suggestively raised; knowing fully well what Luisa was hinting at.

‘That you undress and come up here,’ Luisa grinned.

Rose smiled back, quickly and efficiently unbuttoning her blouse, tossing it over her shoulder together with her bra and pants before reversing her position.

Luisa grabbed Rose’s hips, pulling her down towards her mouth.

The first stroke of their tongues was nearly simultaneous and Luisa was reminded of how much effort and concentration this position took, but also how intensely satisfying.

Whenever Rose did something particularly pleasurable with her tongue, Luisa responded by digging her fingers a little deeper into Rose’s thighs, pulling her down a little closer so she could lick deeper inside her. It was a wonderful give and take and it didn’t take long for Luisa to feel her muscles and tendons tense up from the impending orgasm brewing underneath her skin.

‘Rose, I’m going to…’ Luisa panted as she pulled away.

‘Little more, babe. Just a little… Oh!’ Rose gasped as Luisa flicked and circled her clit at a rapid-fire pace.

Rose rested her forehead on Luisa’s thigh as Luisa brought her closer and closer to orgasm.

‘Lu!’ Rose gasped, Luisa feeling Rose’s muscles harden underneath her fingers, knowing Rose was trying very hard to delay the inevitable so they could come together.

Rose’s fingers dug deeply into the skin of her thighs as she lowered her head back down between Luisa’s legs, quickly licking and sucking Luisa back to the edge. The two falling over it together moments later, shouts and moans muffled by the other’s bodies.

Rose limply rolled off Luisa, breathing shallow and rapid, pleasure still coursing through her body.

‘That was…’ Rose started, brushing a lock of hair away from her forehead with the back of her hand.

‘Amazing,’ Luisa finished for her, nudging Rose’s shoulder with her foot; it was all she had energy for.

Luisa smiled as Rose laced their fingers together, squeezing her hand softly.

They lay like that for a while, slowly recovering the full use of their bodies as their breathing slowed.

‘Come up here,’ Luisa hummed once Rose started moving around on the sheets a little bit.

Within moments Rose had gracefully twisted her body around so she and Luisa were face to face again.

‘What time is it?’ Luisa asked as she buried herself against Rose’s chest.

‘Still early,’ Rose whispered, gently combing her fingers through Luisa’s hair, pressing soft kisses to the crown of her head. ‘But you can sleep if you want to.’

‘Mmh, if you had a TV in here we could watch that and cuddle.’

‘TV’s in the bedroom are bad for sex,’ Rose hummed, wrapping her arm around Luisa’s shoulder.

‘Official rules and guidelines couldn’t stop me from having sex with you, I doubt a TV will.’

Rose chuckled, closing her eyes and sinking back into her pillows.

‘You can’t sleep! You promised me cuddles,’ Luisa said, pinching Rose’s hip.

‘Shh,’ Rose said as she batted Luisa’s hands away. ‘I’m old. I need my sleep.’

‘Yeah, you’re ancient, _professor_ ,’ Luisa teased, resting her head on Rose’s shoulder.

‘Goodnight, miss Alver,’ Rose said, still smiling softly as she drifted off to sleep.

Luisa tried to follow her example but it was simply too early for her to go to sleep. Without completely removing herself from Rose’s embrace she fished beside the bed for her hoodie. Barely holding back a triumphant hoot as she caught it with just the tips of her fingers.

The blue glow of her phone lit up the room around her. Two missed calls. Both from her father. She removed the notification and opened up her browser. She was sure she could find some studies that proved TV’s in the bedroom were not detrimental to a healthy sex life. There was nothing better than bating Rose in a sourced debate. Also she just wanted to watch Property Brothers in bed like a normal person.

* * *

Luisa woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly calm, seeing as what day it was. A big part of that was that Rose had already gotten dressed, and what an outfit it was.

Rose’s usual professor outfits were great, but today she had dug a little deeper into her closet and pulled something that would have made every ADA in the courtroom instantly nervous.

The slate gray suit fitted her like a second skin. Her hair had been pulled back in a high ponytail, sweeping behind like a trail of fire as she walked around the room. She looked every bit the high-powered attorney Luisa knew she had been once upon a time

‘You look amazing, babe,’ Luisa yawned as she sat up, eyes continued to track Rose around the room.

‘Thank you,’ Rose smiled, leaning in to kiss Luisa. ‘Good morning, how did you sleep?’

‘Great, totally ready to show twelve angry white men we did nothing wrong.’

‘There are actually just three of them.’

‘Oh, nothing to worry about then,’ Luisa smiled, finding she meant it. Already imagining taking that suit of Rose later that day as they celebrated their victory.

* * *

Luisa felt the dreaded nerves come on as soon they climbed the university steps. They had thankfully been absent as of late, but had no come back full swing.

She took a deep breath and reached for Rose’s hand, holding it a little tighter than usual.

Rose looked over at her and smiled, thumb rubbing comforting circles on the back of her hand. ‘No need to be nervous. It will be fine.’

Luisa nodded. ‘It’s like pre-exam stress. It will pass as soon as it starts.’

‘I used to have that before court too.’ She kissed Luisa softly, it was chaste but comforting none the less. ‘Come on, let’s go in.’

Luisa had thought people might stare at them after having graced the University’s website in a rather compromising position not two weeks ago, but nobody seemed to care.

They were instructed to wait in the hallway outside of where the hearing would be held.

‘Professor Ruvelle? They are ready for you now,’ a woman said as she poked her head around the doorway.

Rose nodded and got up.

‘Well, this is it,’ she said to Luisa.

‘Go kick their ass, babe,’ Luisa smiled, standing up on her toes to kiss Rose good luck. Rose’s court heels making her a good 5 inches taller than she already was.

‘Don’t worry too much,’ Rose said, stroking a lock of hair behind Luisa’s ear before disappearing into the waiting room.

 _Don’t worry too much_. Easier said than done. Rose had control now, all Luisa could do was wait and imagine what was going on behind closed doors.

* * *

Rose walked into the room and instantly relaxed. It was set up just like a courtroom, a table for her, a stenographer and a slightly raised dais where three members of the committee sat. Harrison, Eichner and Smith were all men she had met before. She knew them and knew what to say to get them to agree with her. She had this.

‘Professor Ruvelle, we are here today to determine if any university rules or guidelines were violated as a result of your relationship with Luisa Alver, who is one of your students. Would you like to make a statement?’

‘I would,’ Rose said as she got to her feed. ‘It is true that Miss Alver is my student and that we have carried on a romantic relationship against university rules. I am not trying to deny that. But we have only violated that rule in letter, not in spirit. The purpose of article 74 paragraph 10 sub a is to prevent the giving of preferential and favorable treatment to students to create a unfair advantage, which is not something that has happened. It is of course the duty of this committee to ascertain that and I will offer my full cooperation to do so.’

Smith, the committee’s chairman nodded slightly. He and Rose had worked on a case together once, and he did not look disappointed with her now.

‘When did your relationship with miss Alver start?’ he asked.

Rose held back a smile as she remembered the day. ‘We met in a bar August 28th of this year, the day before classes started. At that point neither of us was aware that I had been assigned as her professor for the following semester. That realization came the next day when we met again in my classroom.’

‘And that is when your relationship started?’

‘Not exactly, we have been seeing each other on and off for the past six months, but our actual relationship didn’t start until 3 weeks ago.’

‘You didn’t disclose this relationship yourself. We found out through a rather unfortunate picture on the universities webpage.’

Rose nodded, it was one of the only things they could reasonably hold against them. But she had come prepared.‘I understand the university has an image to maintain. But that picture was taken and uploaded with my or Miss Alver’s consent. It was unfortunate but outside anyone’s control.’

‘Why didn’t you disclose your relationship?’ Eichner asked.

‘Because it was such a new thing, we wanted to make sure it was anything at all before putting everyone through an ethics’ hearing. We would have eventually disclosed it if it had become necessary to do so.’

‘I understand, Professor Ruvelle. Now, let’s get to the thick of it. It is very important for this institution to be seen as trustworthy and impartial. We can’t have professors give students favorable treatment on account of their personal relationships with them. Which is why we have a rule against that in the first place. You have admitted to having a relationship with your student, have you ever shown her preferential treatment because of it?’

‘No, never,’ Rose said resolutely. ‘Inside the classroom our relationship was the same as that of any other student/professor relationship.’

‘Miss Alver has received marks far above the mean in your course. How would you explain that if not with preferential treatment?’

Rose smiled.

‘If you take a look at Miss Alver’s transcript you can see she has achieved exceptionally high marks in all her subjects, not just mine. She is a gifted student. All of her tests and assignments have been marked by me and a colleague, who all agreed with my indicative grade of an A. She has earned these grades by herself.’ If they could have only seen the fit Luisa threw when she thought Rose might have meddled with her grade they wouldn’t even be having this hearing.

‘We will check this, but I think we have everything we need for now. We’ll take a ten-minute break to confer and then we will listen to miss Alver’s statement. You are excused.’

‘Thank you for your time,’ Rose said, gathering her papers and left the room, immediately bumping in to Luisa who was pacing up and down in front of the doorway.

‘Rose! How did it go?’ she asked, and Rose could say Luisa had been stressing for the entire time she’d been in there, which was less than an hour.

‘I think it went as well as we could have hoped for. They seemed to believe me and it helps that we didn’t actually do anything wrong.’

Luisa seemed to visibly relax at the news. ‘Okay, good, that means I can’t screw it up too bad.’

Rose laughed, kissing Luisa’s palm as she laced their fingers together. ‘You’ll be just fine. Just tell them the truth and nothing can go wrong.’

They spent the next ten minutes talking about nothing important. What they would have for dinner and how Luisa was feeling about her upcoming exams, just stuff to pass the time and make Luisa feel more at ease.

Luisa was in the middle of naming all the bones in Rose’s hand when the door to the courtroom opened and she was called in to give her own statement.

‘Wish me luck,’ Luisa breathed, feeling a little like she was just about to sit an exam she hadn’t studied for.

‘You won’t need it,’ Rose said. ‘You got this.’

‘I got this,’ Luisa repeated to herself as she walked into the room. It was fairly plain. One long, wooden table dividing the room in two halves. Hers and that of the men that would be judging her. All three of them were indeed old and white and regarding her in stoic silence.

‘Miss Alver, take a seat,’ the man in the middle said. ‘After speaking with Professor Ruvelle, we would like to hear your side of the story.’

Luisa nodded, taking a second to find her nerve and then answered their questions about when their relationship had started, how they carried it on and other details about them. The more she talked the more at ease she felt. Just like with exams she had control now, she knew what she was doing. She had this.

‘Miss Alver, knowing what you did about the rule in place to prevent students and professors from maintaining personal relationships of a romantic nature, why did you pursue?’

‘Because Rose, sorry, professor Ruvelle,’ Luisa corrected. She never called Rose “Professor Ruvelle” except in jest, ‘is unlike anyone I have ever met. We had an immediate connection that I couldn’t just forget about because she was my professor. You can’t choose the people you love. And even if I could I would still choose her.’

‘So you have never received preferential treatment from professor Ruvelle?’ the man on the left asked. They had introduced themselves to her but Luisa hadn’t remembered a single name.

Luisa shook her head and laughed. ‘No, never. She has the morality of a, well, ethics professor. She would never do that, even if I asked for it.’

‘And would you ask her to change your grade if you ever got a bad one?’ the man on the right asked. He had been silent up to this point, Luisa had thought he almost looked bored about being here but he was looking at her with renewed interest now.

‘No, of course not,’ Luisa frowned. ‘I am not with her because of that. I would never ask Rose to risk her job like that.’

‘And if she wouldn’t lose her job, would you ask her then?’

‘What? Why does that matter? No, I wouldn’t ask her. I have never asked her that.’

‘But the possibility remains that you could. You are studying to be a doctor, it is a tough curriculum, one day you might fail an important exam. And you could ask professor Ruvelle to help you out, and no matter her morals, she might do it. She already broke a rule for you once, what is to say she won’t do it again?’

Luisa was left speechless, her mouth gaping open as she searched for something to say in her defense. Rose would have known what to say, but Rose wasn’t here. ‘I-,’ she took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know what is going to happen in the future, no one does. But I do know that neither professor Ruvelle or I myself have any intention to do anything untoward. She won’t even be my professor in a week time, this semester is almost over. We are only here now because some asshole decided to out us for the whole school to see.’

‘So what you are saying is that you would not have disclosed your relationship to the board?’

‘No, I wouldn’t have. Because if you had found out in a month time you would have done nothing as Rose would have no longer been my professor. We would have just been two people in love.’

The committee leader looked at her and Luisa could see the disapproval in his eyes. ‘I think we have heard enough for now, Miss Alver. We’ll need some time to reach our verdict. You’re excused.’

Luisa screwed her eyes closed and took a slow, deep breath. She had lost her cool and said the wrong thing, and looking at the three men in front of her they weren’t about to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Defeated, she walked out into the hallway where Rose was waiting for her. Immediately rushing over as she saw the tears shining in the corner of Luisa’s eyes.

‘What happened?’ Rose asked as she pulled Luisa into a hug.

‘I did something stupid,’ Luisa cried into Rose’s shoulder. ‘I- I think I might get expelled.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, another cliffhanger, I know. But it is the final one as chapter 25 will be the LAST CHAPTER.   
> So close to the end, we've almost made it guys!
> 
> Comments are always welcome, and I will try not to take 5 months this time (no promises tho)  
> Love everyone who is still reading this fic, you're the real troopers here!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the end. 20 months in the making.
> 
> Your encouragements and love for this fic have been overwhelming, and I am kind of sad to end this story. Maybe that was why it took so long.
> 
> I just want to say thank you all so much for sticking with it even through long, long absences of updates. You are all amazing!
> 
> I hope the ending doesn't disappoint, so for the final time: enjoy this chapter! It's been an honor <3

Luisa buried her nose in the fabric of Rose’s jacket and inhaled deeply. The familiar scents of her detergent, her shampoo, her body wash helped ground and calm her.

Rose was still here, so how bad could things really be? Of course, Rose might well leave her when she found out how bad things actually were. But for now, Rose was stroking her back and kissing the top of her head.

‘Lu,’ Rose said after a while, squeezing her shoulder softly. ‘Let’s go talk in my office. We’re drawing a crowd.’

Luisa looked up from the safety of Rose’s shoulder. Their emotional display in the middle of a university hallway was gaining some attention from passersby.

‘Come,’ Rose said, wiping the run mascara from underneath Luisa’s eyes. ‘We can discuss what happened in private.’

Luisa nodded, grabbing Rose’s hand and letting her lead her across campus.

She didn’t notice much as they walked across the grounds, too stuck in her own head, but even her catastrophic screw-up in the hearing couldn’t completely tune out the stares, the pointing and the catcalls from her fellow students. It seemed they been more recognizable in their frontpage picture than Luisa had thought.

‘Just ignore them,’ Rose whispered. ‘We’re doing nothing wrong.’

Luisa wanted to scoff, if they were truly doing nothing wrong how come they were in so much trouble now?

Rose’s building was a little quieter, not as many students around, but that didn’t mean the news hadn’t travelled down those corridors as well.

Before Rose’s door Daniel was messing around with a bucket of soapy water.

‘I wanted to take it down before you got here,’ he said apologetically as he lowered the sponge in his hands, showing the painted on remains of “Professor Slut” on Rose’s door.

‘Mature,’ Rose grimaced.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Luisa sniffed, more tears welling up in her eyes.

‘I’ll take it down,’ Daniel nodded as he stepped aside to let Rose into her office.

‘Thank you, Dan,’ Rose said, as she led Luisa inside, closing the door behind them.

‘God, I am so sorry,’ Luisa said as she collapsed on Rose’s couch, hiding her face in her hands as hot tears spilled from her eyes.

‘It’s not your fault,’ Rose soothed, wrapping her arm around Luisa’s shaking shoulders. ‘None of this is your fault.’

Luisa looked up at Rose. ‘Someone spray painted “slut” on your door. All your colleagues are staring at you. Students are whispering about you behind your back. Your reputation is ruined.’

‘For this week. Next week some professor will cut his hair and they will whisper about that. I don’t care about what people say about me. I care about you. Just you. So please, tell me what happened in there so we can take care of it.’

Luisa took a couple of deep breaths. ‘I majorly fucked up.’

Rose nodded, signaling for her to continue.

‘I- I told them I never would have disclosed our relationship if it hadn’t come out. That- that if they had found out in two weeks, when I had already passed your course, they would not have cared.’

Rose smiled, brushing a lock of hair out of Luisa’s eyes. ‘Anyone ever tell you you are too honest for your own good?’

‘A lot of girlfriends, many times,’ Luisa said, smiling sadly. ‘But he was antagonizing me. Telling me we were inherently bad for breaking this rule.’

‘Ah, too passionate then,’ Rose said, wiping Luisa’s tears away.

Luisa closed her eyes and leaned into Rose’s palm. ‘So what do we do now?’

Rose was silent for a while, staring straight ahead, the muscles in her jaw tight as she concentrated. Luisa could almost see the ideas form behind her eyes.

Luisa tried to think of something too, but she had nothing. She was too far out of her depth here. All she could think about was her ass getting kicked out of med school.

She was still agonizing about that when a smile broke over Rose’s face. ‘I got it.’

‘You got what?’ Luisa asked, not allowing herself to be too hopeful as Rose got to her feet.

‘A way to fix it,’ Rose said, rushing back to Luisa plant a smacking kiss on her lips before all but running out of the room, nearly knocking Daniel down in her haste.

Luisa stared at the door in confusion. Not sure what had just happened or where Rose had gone.

‘She’ll fix it. Whatever happened,’ Daniel said as he stepped into the room.

‘How do you know?’ Luisa asked.

‘She’s serious about you. And when Rose is serious about something, she does not give up. She’ll do whatever is necessary.’

Luisa smiled and nodded. That did sound like Rose, even if this was not really her mess to clean up.

‘Why are you so nice to me?’ Luisa wondered out loud. ‘I basically stole your girlfriend from you. You shouldn’t be nice to me.’

Daniel chuckled, walking further into the room and sitting down in the chair across from Luisa. ‘I knew Rose didn’t love me. I’d known for a long time. But I loved her, and I couldn’t let her go. I just wanted her to be happy. I still want that. And you are the one who makes her happy, she loves you. I can’t fault you for that.’

‘You are the most reasonable guy I’ve ever met,’ Luisa said. ‘I can see why Rose liked you. You’ll find someone who sees it too.’

Daniel smiled. ‘I hope so.’ He smacked his hand down on his knee and got up.

‘Daniel,’ Luisa called after him. ‘I’m sorry. For everything.’

He shrugged. ‘You need two to have an affair. I don’t blame you, just like I don’t blame Rose. And speaking about, don’t worry about the hearing. I don’t know what happened exactly, but she’ll take care of it.’

‘Thank you, Daniel,’ Luisa said sincerely.

‘Just promise you don’t go after my next girlfriend,’ Daniel smiled.

Luisa laughed. ‘I don’t need a next girlfriend. I have Rose.’

Daniel nodded and then motioned to the now clean door. ‘I think I got it all off. I’ll be in my office if you need me.’

Luisa nodded. ‘Thank you, again.’

Daniel nodded and closed the door behind him, leaving Luisa alone in Rose’s office.

There were so many memories in this office, most of then good, some of them bad, all of them worth it. It was strange to be here without Rose. It was Rose’s space, but over time it had sort of become theirs. Luisa wondered if they would have more or less sex on Rose’s desk if she got kicked out.

She wiped at her tears. She had to go find Rose, who was off somewhere doing how knows what to get her out of this mess. Because it was _her_ mess. Rose had done everything right, it was Luisa’s fault it all had come crashing down. She really was a screw up, just like her father said.

Luisa bit her lip and closed her eyes. Maybe she should call her father. He would know how to fix it, and even if he didn’t, he would have enough money to throw at the problem to make it go away regardless.

She slipped her phone from her pocket and pulled up her father’s contact. Her thumb hovering over the “call” button. If she pressed it, she would become everything she swore she would never be. A spoiled rich kid who ran to daddy once the consequences of their actions started appearing.

It would be worth it. She and Rose could be together and she would be allowed to continue studying medicine. Both were things she really wanted. She loved Rose. And now she was sober, studying was going better than ever. If she graduated she could help so many people. Things would be better for it.

She squeezed her phone in her fist, and then on impulse threw it against the wall where it shattered.

Maybe it would be worth it, but this was her mess. She had to fix it herself. She would rather live with the consequences of sleeping with Rose, than with those of asking her father’s help for this.

She had to find Rose, whatever it was that Rose was doing, she had to help. She had caused the problem, she had to be the one to make it go away too.

Easier said than done. She had no idea where Rose was and she had just broken her phone; the only way to contact her.

Realizing that staring at the carcass of her phone was not going to magically repair it, she got to her feet. She might not know where Rose was, she knew where to start.

Her heels didn’t allow her to really run, but she still walked across campus as fast as she could, all the way back to the meeting room they’d had the hearing in.

‘Ah, Miss Alver,’ one of the committee members said as she ran into the hallway. ‘We’ve been looking for you. We have reached a verdict. If you would like to join us?’

On autopilot Luisa followed him inside. She had hoped to see Rose there as well, but she was quite alone.

‘Miss Alver,’ the chairman said as Luisa sat down on the other side of the table. ‘Unless you have any objections we will be ending this investigation and moving on to the punishment phase.’

Luisa thought of something to say, anything to help her defense, but there was nothing that hadn’t already been said. They had broken a rule. It was time to deal with the consequences. ‘I have no objections,’ Luisa said solemnly.

‘We hereby hand down the following judgement…’

Luisa dug her nails into her palm in an attempt to remain calm. It wasn’t much use, her heart was already beating 100 miles a minute at the thought that everything might end with the following words.

‘You will be disallowed access to the Ethics exam tomorrow, and instead will have to retake the entire course next semester.’

Luisa frowned in confusion. ‘You’re just scrapping my grade?’

‘Correct,’ the chairman said. ‘This concludes the investigation.’ He got to his feet, the other two men following suit.

Luisa knew she should get up as well but her legs weren’t working. She didn’t understand. This shouldn’t have happened, she was sure they were going to kick her out. Making her repeat the course was nothing, a slap on the wrist. It was way too mild a punishment.

Before the last committee member could leave the room, she got up.

‘I’m sorry, but I have to ask. I thought I was going to get expelled. I should have gotten expelled. Why didn’t I get expelled?’

‘Professor Ruvelle asked for a private meeting and took full responsibility. She resigned, effectively immediately.’

Luisa felt her knees buckle underneath her. That couldn’t be true. Why would Rose do that? How could she do that?

Almost in a trance she started walking, knowing she had to find Rose and talk her out of it. She just had no idea where Rose was and was sort of out of it, her feet moving on autopilot.

Before she gathered her thoughts, her heels sank several inches into the soft sand of the beach.

Despite the situation she chuckled. She had no idea how she had gotten here, but it made sense.

She walked through the warm sand towards the surf, sitting down just out of reach of the water. She drew her knees up to her chest and just stared at the waves, letting them quiet the chatter in her mind.

How could Rose just quit her job? Rose loved her job, she was amazing at it. How could she give it all up for her?

‘Mind if I sit?’

‘Rose,’ Luisa breathed as she looked up to find her girlfriend silhouetted against the clear blue sky. ‘How did you find me?’

Rose smiled and sat down next to her. ‘I found this on my office floor,’ she said as she pulled Luisa’s broken phone out of her pocket. ‘Which explains why you weren’t answering my calls. I figured you would have been upset when you left. You go to the beach when you are upset.’

Luisa chuckled softly. ‘You know me better than I know myself. I came here without thinking.’

Rose reached out to stroke an errant lock of hair behind Luisa’s ear. ‘So, was the phone breaking before or after you heard the verdict?’

Luisa met Rose’s eyes. ‘How could you quit your job? This wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I should be kicked out, not you. You didn’t have to do this.’

‘Luisa,’ Rose smiled, putting her hand on Luisa’s arm. ‘It’s okay. I wanted to.’

‘But- but your career!’ Luisa said, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

‘This isn’t my career,’ Rose smiled.

‘What do you mean?’ Luisa asked, not understanding how Rose seemed so calm, so _happy_.

‘Teaching isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life, I enjoyed it. But today I was reminded of how much I love being in a courtroom. I want to go back to being a lawyer. I don’t need this job. So I resigned, effective immediately as long as you could to finish your studies here.’

Luisa didn’t know what to say, no one had ever done anything like that for her.

‘Don’t cry,’ Rose smiled, wiping at the tears rolling down Luisa’s cheeks. ‘It’s okay. It really is okay.’

Luisa wrapped her arms around Rose’s shoulders, burying her face in the crook of Rose’s neck.

‘Thank you,’ she breathed.

‘You’re very welcome.’

‘I love you so much,’ Luisa whispered.

‘I love you so much too,’ Rose replied, stroking her back lightly.

Luisa let Rose comfort her for a few minutes before pulling back a little. She needed to know if Rose was sure about this.

‘You’re sure about this? About quitting your job? Because it should be me. You know it should be me.’

Rose smiled, softly brushing her lips against Luisa’s. ‘I’m sure. I have never been so sure about anything.’

Luisa sucked in a shuddering breath before tackle-hugging Rose to the sand. Feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Everything would be okay. All because of Rose.

‘You are the best girlfriend ever, you know that?’ Luisa laughed as she looked down at Rose.

‘Same goes for you,’ Rose smiled, pulling Luisa down and kissing her deeply.

‘So what do we do now?’ Luisa asked as she sat back up, brushing some sand from her leg,

‘Well, I just came in to a bunch of free time and you no longer have an exam tomorrow, so how about we go home and order a bunch of Chinese food? To start with.’

Luisa chuckled, tugging on Rose’s jacket. ‘Well, I did promise to rip this off of you with my teeth.’

Rose laughed. ‘I don’t remember that, but I am definitely not objecting.’

‘Must have just thought it then,’ Luisa grinned before pouncing on Rose. She couldn’t help, she was so relieved and so in love and she wanted to show it to Rose.

‘Lu! Not here, we’re on a public beach,’ Rose laughed, gently pushing Luisa off her. ‘I already lost my job today, I don’t want to go to jail for public indecency too.’

‘Fine,’ Luisa said, pecking Rose on the cheek. ‘Let’s go to your place then, because that suit needs to come off. Soon. Very soon.’

Rose quickly got to her feet, offering Luisa her hand. ‘Good thing I am parked nearby; we have no time to waste.’

Luisa let Rose pull her to her feet and followed her to the car.

‘I do feel a little guilty about you losing your job because of me,’ Luisa said as Rose’s car roared to life.

‘Don’t,’ Rose said as she met Luisa’s eyes through the rearview mirror. ‘I would have given up much more than just my job for you.’

Luisa smiled, covering Rose’s hand on the gearshift with her own. ‘Then I better show you how grateful I am for that.’

Ten minutes later they stumbled into Rose’s apartment locked at the lips, Luisa finally able to show Rose how grateful she was.

‘Bedroom,’ Rose moaned as she kicked the door closed behind them.

Luisa nodded, already halfway through the buttons on Rose’s shirt pulling her along towards the bedroom by the lapels of her jacket.

They barely made it onto the bed, the thought of getting Rose out of that suit was what had gotten through the day and after all the emotional ups and downs she had experienced she really needed this.

‘Why this suit?’ Luisa hummed between kisses as she eased Rose down on the bed. ‘You must know the effect it has on other people.’

‘A little intimidation never hurt anyone,’ Rose sighed as Luisa laid a trail of kisses down her neck.

‘Using your looks to get what you want. Very devious, professor Ruvelle.’

‘Miss,’ Rose smiled. ‘It’s just Miss Ruvelle now. I am no longer a professor.’

Luisa pulled back a little. ‘That is going to take some getting used to.’

Rose didn’t seem too bothered by it, cupping the back of her neck and pulling her back into a kiss. ‘Shhh, just kiss me.’

And Luisa did, very happily.

She moaned softly as she finally undid all of Rose’s buttons, uncovering a black lace bra.

‘God, you’re gorgeous,’ Luisa husked as she sat up, taking a couple of seconds to admire Rose in her half undone, now completely rumpled suit. It somehow made her look even hotter.

Rose grinned, moving her hands up underneath Luisa’s dress to stroke her thighs. ‘So are you.’

Luisa smiled, grinding herself down on Rose’s stomach a couple of times before leaning back in to kiss her.

After that Luisa’s hands worked on autopilot as she rid Rose of her suit. She looked amazing in it, but she would look even better once the suit lay crumpled on the floor.

‘God,’ Rose moaned as Luisa closed her lips around her nipple, alternating between licking and sucking to tease it into a heard point before switching sides.

Luisa smiled, her hands stroking the outside of Rose’s thigh as she focused her attention on Rose’s breasts for now, making her moan, and sigh, and gasp, and roll her hips up into Luisa’s.

‘I love you,’ Luisa smiled, resting her chin on Rose’s chest as she looked at her.

‘Mhh, I love you too,’ Rose said as she tangled her hand in Luisa’s hair, pushing her steadily downward.

Luisa laughed, pressing fleeting kisses down Rose’s stomach as she let Rose guide her down. Rose had given up her job for her, she deserved to be eaten out for that. Multiple times.

She prolonged her teasing a little longer, nuzzling the inside of her thighs, nipping at the soft skin.

‘Lu,’ Rose whined.

Luisa smiled but decided to let Rose have this one. She spread Rose open with her hands and delivered a broad lick directly to her center.

Rose sighed and relaxed her grip on Luisa’s hair a little.

Luisa took it as a good sign and circled Rose’s clit with the very tip of her tongue, making Rose buck her hips into her mouth.

She alternated between broad licks with the flat of her tongue and quick flicks delivered with the very tip.

It wasn’t long before Rose was panting and moaning with abandon.

Luisa loved nothing more than listening to Rose’s little noises of pleasure but decided not to prolong the inevitable.

She closed her lips around Rose’s clit and sheathed two fingers inside of her, picking a fast pace she knew Rose would enjoy.

‘God, please, don’t stop,’ Rose moaned, rolling her hips into Luisa’s face as she chased her release.

Luisa had no intention of stopping, curling her fingers slightly and flicking Rose clit in quick succession to make her come undone quickly.

Rose screamed her name and arched off the bed as her orgasm washed over her.

Luisa slowed down her pace a little but kept her fingers moving, pushing Rose into another orgasm. Only stopping when Rose weakly tried to push her away.

‘You taste so good,’ Luisa grinned as she sucked her fingers clean, making Rose squirm without even touching her.

She laughed as she laid down next to Rose, pulling her into her arms and kissing her temple.

‘That was a good one, huh?’ Luisa smiled, combing her fingers through Rose’s hair.

Rose blinked open her eyes, the blue still a little hazy with pleasure. ‘Each and every time with you is a good one,’ Rose hummed.

‘Sap,’ Luisa teased, feeling her cheeks color none the less.

‘I love you,’ Rose smiled, cupping Luisa’s face and pulling her in for a kiss.

‘That makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world,’ Luisa said truthfully. She still couldn’t quite believe everything Rose had done for her.

Rose grinned and rolled on top of Luisa. ‘You’re about to feel even luckier.’

‘Mmh, I can’t wait,’ Luisa whispered just before Rose closed the distance between them.

* * *

  _Six months later_

* * *

 

‘Hey,’ Rose smiled, kissing Luisa before sitting down next to her. Her entrance had drawn just as much attention now as it had when Rose had walked into this bar 10 months ago, and just like back then, Rose’s attention was only focused on her.

‘So why did you want to meet here?’ Rose asked as she got settled.

Luisa smiled and looked around the bar. ‘Because they serve the best non-alcoholic Singapore Slings here.’

‘Ah, you came here for the cherries,’ Rose smiled as she plucked the cherry from Luisa’s drink.

‘For the cherries, and for this,’ Luisa said as she produced a sheet of paper form her pocket, handing it to Rose with a flourish.

‘What’s this?’ Rose asked curiously.

‘Just read it,’ Luisa smiled as she sipped her drink.

‘Luisa Alver, Ethics 101, final examination, 100/100,’ Rose read.

‘I passed!’ Luisa grinned. ‘Even without sleeping with my professor.’

Rose laughed. ‘I never doubted you would. So I got you something,’ Rose said, handing Luisa a small, narrow box.

Luisa raised an eyebrow, shaking the box and hearing a faint rattle inside. Having no idea what it could possibly be she decided just to open it.

‘A key,’ Luisa said as she lifted it from the box.

Rose took Luisa’s hand, rubbing her knuckles softly. ‘Next year you’ll be doing your clinical rotations, and there will be a lot of late nights. This is so you can home without waking me.’

‘Thank you,’ Luisa smiled, blinking to keep her tears from falling, suddenly feeling very emotional.

‘You’re very welcome. I mean, you already spend most of your time at my place. You needed your own key.’

‘How very logical of you, professor,’ Luisa grinned.

Rose leaned in closer. ‘Not your professor, Miss Alver,’ she whispered against Luisa’s lips.

Luisa smiled. ‘Rose Ruvelle, esquire, has a nice ring to it too.’

‘Just a couple of years and I can call you doctor,’ Rose teased.

Luisa just laughed, Rose was imagining a future with her, and she herself had a hard time seeing a future without Rose in it too.

A doctor and a lawyer, it would make for a good story, maybe even a better one than a student and a professor. It would be a hell of lot less complicated, that was for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated and very motivating!


End file.
